Where There's Smoke...

by Barbara Mccauley

  “Oh.” She smiled, then all but purred, “All right.”

  The scent of salt air hung heavy in the chilly night air. When Emily shivered, he slid an arm around her shoulders to warm her and she leaned against him as they walked along the pier.

  “I like your uncle.” Emily spread her hand on Shane’s stomach. “He’s like a great big, gruff teddy bear.”

  “Oh God, don’t let him hear you say that.” But she was right, Shane thought. “He’ll sulk for days and probably arm wrestle every male who comes into his pub just to prove he’s tough as nails.”

  “Arm wrestle!” Emily’s head snapped up. “Shane, I almost forgot to tell you about Joseph. When I opened my door this morning and he was standing there, I knew who he was.”

  Shane stopped, looked down at her. “You remembered him?”

  “I just knew who he was, that he was my cousin Joseph, and I had an image of him arm wrestling with someone at a family get-together. It’s nothing terribly exciting, but it’s something.”

  And that something would certainly lead to more, Shane thought. He felt a moment’s fear when he realized that everything Emily remembered would ultimately create more distance between them. Shamed by his selfishness, he touched her cheek and smiled at her. “It’s just the beginning, Emily. Before you know it, your memory will come back, either in bits and pieces, or maybe like a floodgate opening. Either way, you will remember.”

  “This is what I want to remember,” she said softly. “Standing here with you, surrounded by the ocean and boats and a brilliant blanket of stars overhead. Eating pastrami sandwiches in your uncle’s pub, pasta in my kitchen after making love.” She smiled at him. “And whiskey poker.”

  He grinned, then pulled her closer and kept walking. “Who would have thought you were a cardsharp in your former life? I believe you’ve been dubbed Whiskey Poker Queen.”

  “I did do well, didn’t I? Though I think they were just being nice and let me win a few times.”

  “You don’t know that crowd if you think they let you win. It’s every man and woman for themselves when it comes to whiskey poker. Here we are.”

  He helped her onto the boat, then held her hand down the companionway. Moonbeams streamed in from the open hatches and small port windows, casting a soft gray light throughout the interior of the boat. He reached for a lamp at the base of the steps, but she touched his arm and stopped him.

  “Don’t turn it on yet,” she whispered. “It’s so beautiful down here like this. So peaceful and calm. It’s almost like being in a different world.”

  It was like that, Shane agreed. A different world, and with Emily here, that world felt perfect.

  A sudden, desperate need to make love to her overwhelmed him. The intensity startled him, made his blood pound in his head, had him dropping his hands from her and stepping back.

  “Shane?”

  “I want you, Emily.” The sound of his own voice, ragged and hoarse, shocked him. “I want to make love to you.”

  She reached out to him, touched his cheek with her fingertips. Her skin was warm, the texture soft as rose petals. “I want you to make love to me. All day I’ve thought of nothing else.”

  He covered her hand with his, pulled her close to him, then caught her mouth with his. She opened to him, met the forceful thrust of his tongue with her own. She rose on her tiptoes, wound her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. Passion shimmered and sparked between them like an electric current.

  He crushed her to him, slanted his mouth over hers again and again, until a moan rose from deep in her throat. The feel of her breasts, the nub of her hardened nipples against his chest made his heart pound wildly. When she moved against him, rubbed her body sensuously up and down, his blood raced through his veins.

  “I need your hands on me,” she murmured on a ragged breath. “I think I’ll die if you don’t touch me, if you aren’t inside me soon.”

  Her words inflamed him, stretched tight the control he barely held on to. He backed her against the galley wall, slid his hands under the ruffled hem of her blouse, then slid upward to cup her breasts. She shivered at his touch, pressed closer to him as his thumbs caressed the pearled tips through the soft silk bra she wore. He found the front clasp and opened it, but could barely tell the difference between warm silk and warm skin as he pushed the sexy undergarment aside to enclose her naked breasts in his palms. On a whimper, her head dropped back against the wall.

  And then he bent his head.

  An explosion of sensations rocked Emily to the core when Shane clamped his mouth over her aching nipple and sucked tightly. Fire-tipped arrows shot straight to the throbbing at the V of her thighs. How could she bear pleasure this intense? she thought, raking her fingers through his hair, then dragging him closer still. With his rough hands on her skin and his hot mouth on her breast, it was impossible to think, so she simply let herself feel.

  When he moved to her other breast and gave it the same torturous pleasure, she thought she couldn’t stand it anymore. “Shane, please,” she gasped. “Please.”

  His mouth claimed hers again, and he lifted her, carried her to his bed. She tugged his T-shirt up, and when he pulled away long enough to yank the garment up and over his head, she busied herself by hungrily exploring his hard, muscular chest with her hands and mouth. When she lightly touched her tongue to the tight bud of his nipple, she heard his sharp intake of breath, then felt him shudder with pleasure.

  Clothes fell away, were tossed mindlessly aside in urgency. She and Shane fell to the mattress, arms and legs entwined. Tension coiled between her thighs, twisting tighter and tighter. He moved over her, slid his hands up her legs, then spread her knees and slid inside her, fast and hard. Gasping, she reared up to meet him, wrapped herself tightly around him.

  They moved together, their breathing labored, their hearts and bodies pounding as one. The tension peaked and broke apart. Her climax hit her like an explosion and she cried out with its force, shuddered over and over and held on tight when he made a deep, guttural sound, then shuddered, too.

  She held him, feeling the wild beating of his heart against her and the light sheen of sweat on his body. The light rocking of the boat calmed her, made her smile as she realized this was another first in her life, making love with Shane here on the water.

  A wonderful thrilling first, she thought as he brought his mouth to hers and kissed her. She only prayed that this first wouldn’t be the last.

  Ten

  Early the next morning, while Emily still slept, Shane quietly pulled on a pair of jeans and T-shirt, then made his way up the companionway steps to the upper deck. The distant sound of a ship’s deep horn cut through the thick blanket of fog that drifted over the water, and the faint hum of a motorboat making its way back from a predawn fishing trip vibrated softly in the crisp, damp air. Seagulls perched on pilings watched and waited, always ready to take off at the first inkling of a handout from an enthusiastic tourist or a softhearted fisherman.

  It was a comfortable, uncomplicated way of life. The few other people who lived here kept to themselves, and the weekenders were friendly but preoccupied with taking their own boats out or keeping up with the constant maintenance. Shane had always been content living here. It suited him, he thought. Easy to come and go as he pleased, no one to answer to. No one to worry about.

  And then he turned and saw her standing a few feet away, wearing one of his old, blue flannel shirts. The hem cut across the middle of her bare thighs, and unless he missed his guess, she was gloriously naked underneath.

  Something shifted in his chest at the sight of her. It wasn’t lust, though he certainly felt that, too. It was something else, something unfamiliar. Something that scared the hell out of him.

  He could barely breathe from the fleeting moment of panic that gripped him, but when she smiled softly and moved through the lingering morning mist toward him, he forgot everything else but her.

  “Morning.” Folding her arms, she mov
ed closer.

  “Mornin’.” He reached for her, kissed her long and hard without a thought to any curious onlookers, then turned her in his arms and wrapped himself around her. “That shirt never looked so good.”

  “I hope you don’t mind,” she said sheepishly. “I was a little cold.”

  He kissed her neck and pulled her back flush with his chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous of a shirt before.”

  She laughed softly and leaned her head back against his shoulder. “It’s so quiet here, so peaceful. I can understand why you live here, away from all the traffic and chaos of the city. Oh, look, there’s a pelican!”

  The bird swooped low over the water and was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared. They were so common here that Shane barely noticed them anymore. But the delight in Emily’s voice and the smile on her face settled in his gut like warm cocoa.

  He’d never stood here like this with another woman, had certainly never felt like this toward any other woman. He kissed the top of her head, then moved his lips to her temple.

  With a sigh, she hooked her hands over the arms he’d wrapped around her. “I had dreams last night.”

  “If I was in them—” he nuzzled her ear “—it was no dream, sweetheart.”

  “Not those kind of dreams,” she said, smiling. “These were definitely dreams, yet they seemed so real. Like tiny bits and pieces of my life.”

  He stilled, then turned her in his arms and looked down at her and met her eyes. “Is your memory coming back?”

  “I don’t know. The images were all brief, but still, they felt so familiar to me. Walking up the stairs to my apartment, shopping at a produce market down the street, laughing with Claudia at my kitchen table. They all sort of blended together.” She looked past him, stared blindly into the fog swirling around them. “Suddenly I was in a small, dark room. Lights flashed behind me, then I smelled smoke. My heart was racing when I woke up.”

  Her heart was racing now, Shane realized. He tucked her safely against him, waited a moment until her trembling eased. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “We hadn’t been asleep that long and you looked so peaceful.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Shane, if I ever do remember what happened that night, I’m going to have to deal with it.”

  She meant when he wasn’t around, he thought, and felt a stab of irritation that she was making this, making everything, so easy between them. She was keeping her distance.

  That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? What he’d always wanted in a relationship? Easy, mutually satisfying, but uncomplicated?

  Of course it was. That didn’t mean he didn’t care about her. He cared more than he’d ever allowed himself to care about any other woman. But that sure as hell didn’t mean he was looking for anything permanent. When the time came, when her memory did come back fully, she’d slip comfortably back into her world, and so would he.

  But the time hadn’t come yet, he told himself. He still wanted her, wanted to be with her. He lowered his mouth to hers and gently, leisurely tasted and teased, until she opened to him and met the tip of his tongue with her own. He felt the heat of her body through the thin flannel shirt, the firmness of her breasts against his chest.

  It hardly seemed possible that after the night they’d spent together, he could want her so soon, and so desperately. His heart beat like a drum, his pulse raced. His mouth and body molded to hers, and she answered him back with the same urgency.

  His hands were sliding down her back, searching for the hem of the shirt, eager to explore the soft, warm flesh underneath, when the screech of a seagull stopped him.

  With tremendous effort, he took hold of her shoulders and held her away from him. If not for the heavy fog surrounding them, his neighbors would have gotten one hell of an eyeful. He looked at Emily, saw that her lips were rosy and still moist from his kiss. It took a will of iron not to drag her back to him, neighbors be damned. Instead, he took hold of her hand and pulled her back downstairs.

  They didn’t make it to his bed. At the bottom of the stairs, he dragged her against him, opened the zipper on his jeans, then reached under the shirt and cupped her bare buttocks in his hands. “Wrap your legs around me,” he rasped, lifting her off the floor.

  Her arms and legs came around him, and he pressed her back against the wall, holding her with one arm while he shoved his jeans down and entered her quickly. She gasped at his hard, sharp thrust, then moaned and rocked her body to take him in deeper yet.

  Blindly, mindlessly, he moved inside the tight, velvet glove of her body. Again and again, he drove himself into her, until they were both gasping, both racing wildly toward the same destination. He buried his face in her neck, felt the low moan rise from deep in her throat, felt her body tighten, then convulse. She cried out, and on a deep, guttural groan, he shuddered, too.

  Slowly he eased them both to the floor, then pulled her into his arms. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest, knew his was pounding as furiously against hers. Her warm breath heated his skin when she pressed her lips to his neck.

  “You okay?” he managed to say after several long moments. “Did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head. “That—” she breathed against his throat “—was incredible.”

  Relieved, he gathered her close, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re incredible.”

  Smiling sweetly, she rose up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then nestled back comfortably against his chest. He felt that same grab in his chest he’d experienced up on deck, that same breath-stealing hitch. It wasn’t as sharp this time, didn’t completely catch him off guard, but it troubled him just the same.

  He pushed the uneasiness aside and kissed her forehead. He’d take her sailing today, he decided. Back to the secluded cove where they’d gone before. He’d make love to her there, wade in the cold, salty water and lie naked in the warm sun.

  For now, he thought, wrapping his arms around her, it was enough to simply hold her close and wait for the fog to clear.

  It felt wonderful to be in love. All the clichés, Emily thought, all the platitudes, were true. The sky was bluer, the grass greener, the breeze softer. Every sense was keener, sharper. The tang of peppermint ice cream she’d indulged in a few hours earlier, a baby’s laugh from a play yard in the apartment house behind her own, the aroma of cookies baking in a neighbor’s oven. Life was like a beautiful kaleidoscope of sights and sounds and smells.

  A smile on her lips, she leaned out her open living room window, then called down a greeting to a woman watering the roses in a small garden below. The woman waved, then turned her attention to a bush thick with yellow buds. Emily couldn’t wait until every bloom opened. Couldn’t wait for the explosion of color and scent.

  She backed away from the window and closed it, afraid she might suddenly burst into song.

  She glanced at her wristwatch, felt the flutters start in her stomach, even though Shane wouldn’t be here for another few minutes. It was foolish, she knew, and most definitely crazy, but love did that to a person. No reason, no logic. Just glorious, incredible feelings.

  She knew he cared for her. This past week he’d let down that guard he had always seemed to be on before the night they’d spent together on his boat. Except for the three-day shift he’d pulled, he’d come over every day, stayed every night.

  He’d grow restless soon, she was certain, and surely he’d want to move on, but she was determined not to cling. She was equally determined to enjoy every minute they shared, to keep every memory clear and strong.

  Someone had told her once that life could change with every breath. She couldn’t remember who had told her, but she knew it was absolutely true.

  She intended to make every breath count.

  The knock at the door made her heart skip. They were going to dinner at Café 88, a birthday party for her mother. Emily had been surprised when Shane had agreed to go with her, especially considering her entire family would be there. S
he’d seen the hesitation in his eyes—or was it fear?—but then he’d shrugged and said sure, he’d go. Now that it was nearly time for him to pick her up, Emily realized she was the one who was nervous.

  Her hand shook as she reached for the knob, but the moment she opened the door and their eyes met, her anxiety melted away. And when he smiled at her, when he stepped inside and greeted her with a hungry kiss, her insides melted, as well.

  “New dress?” he whispered, skimming his fingertip over the thin strap of her red-print slip dress.

  “This old thing? I’ve had it for ages.” Actually, she’d had it for two hours, a last-minute impulse buy from an afternoon shopping trip. Based on the hungry look in Shane’s eyes, she was definitely glad she’d bought it.

  His fingertip wandered down the narrow strap, then lightly traced the low-cut bodice of her dress. She shivered at his touch, felt her pulse quicken and her knees grow weak.

  “If we don’t leave now,” he murmured, sliding his knuckle over the soft swell of her breast, “we’re going to be very late.”

  With a sigh, he dropped his hand away and stepped back.

  She sighed when he took his hand away, then grabbed her sweater and purse. When he turned, she took a moment to appreciate the fit of his black slacks across his firm backside and the ripple of muscle under the long-sleeved blue dress shirt he wore. Good Lord, but the man exuded virility.

  Thirty minutes later, when Emily introduced Shane to her sister at the restaurant, Claudia reaffirmed that opinion.

  “A pleasure to finally meet you, Shane.” Claudia kissed Emily on the cheek, then smiled at Shane. “I’m happy to see that at least part of the gossip is true.”

  “Gossip?” Emily slid a nervous glance at Shane. “What gossip?”

  “Come buy me a drink while we’re waiting for Mom and Dad to get here and I’ll tell you.”

  With a toss of her pretty blond hair, Claudia spun on her high heels and headed for the bar, turning several males heads on her way. An image of her sister suddenly popped into Emily’s head: a bikini-clad Claudia lying on a chaise longue by their parents’ pool, surrounded by several young men. Daniel’s friends, Emily remembered, though she’d only been maybe eleven at the time and hadn’t understood why everyone was fussing over Claudia instead of swimming.