The Complete Northanger Horrid Novel Collection (9 Books of Gothic Romance and Horror)

by Eliza Parsons

  He was, perhaps, not much mistaken, if he suspected the German officer, who called himself Baron de H******, to have acted in this affair with some malicious heat, and with design. Yet he was not a man that could submit to be scoffed at without chastising the offender. He knew the Baron already at Gibraltar, where he had fought with him against the Britons; and, by a strange accident, was his rival in the love of a Spanish lady. This had already incensed him against the Baron; and an affair of a later date, which I am going to relate, made him his implacable enemy.

  The Count kept an actress of the royal opera, a charming girl, of uncommon wit, and a great knowledge of man; ah excellent companion, but not very famous for her fidelity. Although he was not over fond of her, keeping her rather for fashion's sake than from inclination, yet he looked upon her favours as goods which he had bought, and which no one could intrude upon without violating his property. His vanity contributed to render his ambition still more tender with regard to that point; and there was a period when his mind was entirely occupied with plans of securing the fidelity of his Amasia against all temptations which might be thrown into her way. But how was it possible he could have interrupted all the connexions of a vain, voluptuous, and covetous girl, who had made it the study of her life to insnare men, and to jilt them, in her fetters? In short, he had sufficient reason for being jealous and particularly of his sworn rival. Baron de H******.

  All odd incident served to blow up that dormant fire into a blazing flame. He went one evening over the Pont Neuf to pay her a visit; and intending to surprise her unexpectedly, to be certain of her infidelity, he had put on a blue coat, and taken only one servant with him. On coming to the middle of the bridge, he was at once surrounded by a troop of intoxicated citizens, who had drowned their sorrows in large bumpers, and, by their inebrity, were led to commit a number of ridiculous frolicks. One of them having engaged to discover the profession of every passenger by his external appearance they had placed themselves upon that spot to observe every one that went over the bridge and the Count was unfortunately the first that happened to come into their way.

  He that was to guess at the profession of the passengers was extremely puzzled by the Count's appearance; a wager of some louis d'ors having been laid. He easily conceived, notwithstanding the disguise of my friend, by his gait and shape, that he was of a superior rank. Hie hesitated therefore, some moments to pronounce his opinions; crossing his arms and gaping at the Count. The latter being struck by the oddity of that scene, could not help smiling, which inspired the drunken inquisitor with additional courage. He turned, therefore, to his comrades, who were diverted by his perplexity, exclaiming, "I will be d--d, if I don't guess that gentleman's profession: I lay you on louis d'or more that he is a cuckold." The whole company broke out into a roaring laughter; and the decision of the wager depending on the confession of the other party, they pressed the poor County in their merry humour, to confess the fact. My friend being armed with no other weapon of defence, but a cane, was in danger of "being torn to pieces. He defended himself as well as he could*; but; without the assistance of some soldiers who came to his relief, he would probably have been forced to make the ridiculous confession.

  Thus he was seasonably extricated from the danger which had threatened him; but, far from taking the whole affair for what it really was, an accidental frolick, he imagined it to have been preconcerted to give him a hint of the infidelity of his mistress; he fancied, at least, the whole town was already informed of his cuckoldom. His blood began violently to ferment, he quickened his steps to the house of his mistress and entered her apartment in the height of his passion, abusing the poor, trembling girl with the bitterest reproaches. However, she soon collected herself; and having attempted in vain to soothe his rage, by tears and tender remonstrances, asked him, at length, coolly, "whether she should ring for her people, or whether he preferred to quit her house without their assistance?" He chose the latter; and she appeared the next day in public as the declared mistress of Baron de H******. This affair recurred, on the present occasion, to the recollection of my friend, and he imagined the Baron's malicious smiles alluded to it. He went, therefore, to him, whispering in his ear, "Baron, you will give me leave to a(k you, how far you are concerned in this affair?"

  The Baron made a low bow, replying, smiling, in German, "My Lord, I shall give you every explanation on that head you can wish for."

  The place where we were being not proper for pushing the matter any farther the Count pretended to be satisfied with this answer, and retired; yet I could plainly see what was going on in his mind. Caroline did every thing in her power to make us forget the consequences of her little caprice, displaying her mental charms with a most bewitching humour, nature and elegance. She endeavoured to dispel the gloom which frowned on the Count's brow, telling him, that she would try her fortune with him the next day: however nothing was capable of restoring the harmony of his foul; and while I felt myself as happy as a god by Caroline's side, and reviewed all my ideas to select for her the most natural and intelligible sentiments he was absorbed in a gloomy reverie, from which he scarcely awoke now and then.

  Supper was, at length, served up, and we sat down to table in tolerable good humour and harmony. The conversation turning on the siege of Gibraltar, the company were desirous to know the particulars of it. The Count was requested to favour us with a circumstantial relation of that remarkable siege; but declined it with a great deal of politeness and modesty, directing the company to beg that favour of Baron de H******, who had given many proofs of his courage and superior talents on that occasion. The Baron having not the least suspicion that his conduct on that occasion was notorious accepted the challenge, with a presumptuous smile, as a just tribute of his merits and began his narrative. I was astonished to hear with how much barefacedness that fellow interlarded his relation with a number of various adventures in which he pretended to have been engaged. There was no rencounter in which he had not acted a principal part: he made the whole company shudder at the dangers which he pretended to have experienced during the war I and it was merely owing to his modesty and delicacy that he forbore to speak also of those to which he was exposed by the fair sex. I am firmly convinced, that he flattered himself to have told his rodomontades for sterling truth, as he did not take the lead notice of the suspicious smiles of the company, and would certainly have carried his impudence still further, if the Count had not interrupted him at the conclusion of a most romantic adventure with the words, "And then you awoke?" An audible whisper, which ran through the company when the Count uttered these sarcastic words, roused him completely from his infatuation, and he stopped half a minute, glowing with shame and rage.

  He then was going to vent his fury upon the Count, when the latter interrupted him with the greatest politeness, turning to the company, and begging leave to relate also an incident which happened at that time. The whole company signified their approbation; but few only guessed what was to come. The Count began his story, directing some significant looks at the Baron, who wanted to continue his tale, and only could be silenced by the general clamour of the company.

  "When we raised the siege of Gibraltar," the Count resumed, "most of those who had expected to gain honor and preferment on that expedition as volunteers, abandoned every idea of making a new attempt; three of my comrades, and myself, resigned on the spot, and went farther into the country, to recover from the fatigues of the campaign, and to visit an intimate friend of mine, who had married a charming and rich Spanish lady. Our journey was more pleasant than is usual in Spain. Two of my companions, who resembled me in their temper and good humour, as well as myself, found every where sufficient opportunities for diversion; and when nothing occurred that could afford us amusement, the comical lies, and rodomontades, of our fourth fellow-traveller, made us forget the badness of the roads and the poverty of the inns.

  "Don Antonio (thus we will call him) was one of the strangest human beings nature has produced. He had a pr
etty-good share of understanding, and not little experience, but was of a moll singular disposition. Although he knew that we had been eye witnesses of, and concerned in, almost all engagements, in which he displayed very little of the hero, yet he invented a number of adventures, in which he pretended to have acted a principal part, and endeavoured to persuade us of his veracity by a semblance of the greatest candour, as well as by numberless oaths.

  "Well invented!" we frequently used to exclaim, "though it is not true!" However, he pledged his honour, and, what was still more important, his tried courage, for the truth of his tale. We resolved, therefore, unanimously, to try, on the next opportunity, how fer we could rely upon the latter.

  "Our common friend received us as well as we could expect, and did every thing in his power to prolong our flay with him, and to give us pleasure. His country feat united all the charms of the Spanish clime, and our rural diversions were seasoned by the pleasant flows of humorous sallies. We played most charming little tricks; and our sociable harmony prevented us from being offended when, now and then, our frolicks degenerated into something more than jest. Our hostess and host soon knew Antonio's weak side as well as we did; and we resolved to repay him with a vengeance, on the first opportunity, all the liberties he had taken with us, and soon were enabled to carry our purpose into execution.

  "A sudden noise arose in the castle, one night, while we were at supper in a garden house. Some of the servants came running, pale and with ghastly looks, to inform our host secretly, that a ghost had been seen in one of the apartments. The Marquis acquainted us instantly with that intelligence. The ladies grew deadly pale, and started up from their chairs. Some gentlemen, who happily had succeeded to suppress the first emotions of fear, began to raise a loud laughter, and to ridicule the cowardice of the servants. The Marquis, however, declared the affair ought to be treated more seriously; ordered the servants to light some torches; and begging the ladies to keep themselves quiet and easy till his return, took up his sword, and begged us to follow him.

  "Now a very tender scene took place. The married ladies, as well as those of the unmarried, who had a lover amongst: us, began solemnly to protest against that resolution, and conjured us not to leave them unprotected. The Marquis, however, entreated them to give him leave not to suffer himself to be robbed thus quietly; and, after a number of remonstrances, admonitions, and obsecrations, had been exchanged, it was agreed to examine the affair in the company of the ladies. The latter took fearfully hold of the arms of their neighbours, the servants led the way with a blaze of torches, and we covered the procession with drawn swords,

  "I did not rightly know what to think of the matter, which appeared to me to be rather strange, and quite unpreconcerted. It was impossible to draw any conclusion from the looks of our host. He really seemed to be rather agitated and I knew that he was but a poor dissembler. I also could not imagine that he wantonly would alarm a, whole company, merely to punish an individual. I concluded, therefore, that really something must have happened; and giving, at that time, very little credit to the apparition of ghosts, suspected some roguery, and resolved to behave with as much courage as my unhappy education would allow in that point.

  "I grew, at length, so tranquil and cool, that I was capable of making ob-fer vat ions on the company. At first, a general, profound, and anxious silence prevailed Amongst us, and was only now and then interrupted by a solitary sigh, which escaped some of our companions. Don Antonio uttered, at length, the greatest oath he could find in the visible agony of his mind. His fair neighbour (for he had carefully avoided to offer his arm to one of the ladies, in order to be at full liberty to take to his heels in case of necessity) conjured him to be quiet. However, he probably mistook this for a challenge to regale the company with some more of his fine exclamations, and repeated every oath he knew, to protest that he was impatient, to have the pleasure of engaging a ghost. Yet, notwithstanding These strong protestations, he could not help looking fearfully around now and then, and keeping carefully between the two servants who closed the train. He even made, at intervals, a certain noise with his teeth, which is not accounted to be a token of heroism, when the wind rustled a little stronger betwixt the leaves, and became more and more silent the nearer we approached the castle. The rest of the company were also not entirely free, of fearful apprehensions I and there was not one who did not exhibit stronger or weaker symptoms of anxious apprehensions.

  "A sudden gust of wind, which extinguished some of the torches, served to increase the fear which prevailed in our heroic society: and some of the ladies protested they would not advance a step farther, if they were not lighted again immediately. We were, therefore, obliged to halt, which happening frequently, our march was very much retarded; and those that were more fearful than the rest, gained time to communicate their apprehensions to their neighbours, and to infect even the servants, who, at first, had displayed pretty much courage.

  We arrived, at length, at the castle-gate. The haunted apartment was on the first floor; but the anxiety of the company displayed itself already at the staircase which led to the great hall. Numberless fears and apprehensions exhibited themselves on the countenances of my fellow-adventurers, which were rendered more visible by their painful exertions to conceal them from the rest. We now counted the company, to see whether none had flayed behind; and were struck with astonishment, on finding that the Chevalier Antonio was miffing. We were already going to ridicule his cowardice severely, and felt ourselves strongly inclined to laugh at the desertion of his vaunted courage, when he convinced us that we had wronged him; for he came running out of breath, and wiping the sweat from his face. He even asked, with a great clamour, why we did not proceed; and the whole company being re-animated with new courage by his noisy exhortations, advanced towards the great staircase.

  "But now a new difficulty arose I none of us being willing or able to ascend the steps first. The Marquis was retained by his lady, and the rest were stopped by his example. At length, she suffered him to proceed, after he had asked her angrily, whether she took him for a child; and Antonio, who was in the rear, had exclaimed. Why we did not go' on? He now ascended the stairs; and myself, with a friend of mine, who had taken me by the arm, puttied through the rest, and followed him closely, while the greater part of the company were loitering partly at the bottom, and partly in the middle, of the staircase, according to their respective share of courage. We did not mind their backwardness, and proceeded towards the haunted apartment with a great show of courage, but I dare say not without palpitating hearts.

  "The servants, who carried the torches, being in the rear, I went back to provide myself with one. The whole troop, who followed us slowly, watching every step of ours, were put in motion by my hasty return; and some, who were already at the landing-place, put themselves in motion to turn back on the first signal. I could not help smiling at the fear of men who had fought like lions before Gibraltar, faced all the dangers and hardships of that fatal siege with coolness and bravery, and now were overcome so much by the prejudices of their religion and education, as to give way to a most extraordinary and childish fear. Instead of being infected by their example, I derived additional courage from their unmanly conduct, returned laughing to my friend, and opening the door for the Marquis, went before him with a torch.

  "However, we started a few steps back, seized with terror, as soon as we had entered the apartment; and the rest of the company who were awaiting the event, hurried instantly down stairs. Before two seconds were elapsed, we were forsaken by the whole train, except a servant of the Marquis, who was uncommonly attached to his master, and would not leave him in the danger which seemed to threaten us. The sight which we beheld was, indeed, terrible enough. An enormous figure, with large, fiery eyes, advanced towards us; and I do not know whether an antecedent transitory fright does not sharpen the senses and the judgment; for I made, almost immediately, an observation which considerably diminished my fear.

  "First of all, t
he figure was too grotesque. What a moderate deception would have effected, is generally frustrated by an extravagant one. I could not help remarking that the figure resembled the giant who challenged Don Quixote, the celebrated knight of the woeful countenance. This laughable idea, which forced itself upon my mind, made me suspect the whole; for as soon as I advanced further with my torch, I perceived a second figure, sneaking into an adjoining apartment, which communicated with those of the Marchioness that bordered on the garden. The room in which we were was a state-chamber of the Marquis. This train of ideas came almost in a moment in my mind; and looking around, I missed a silver clock which used to (land on a table. Having seen it in its place before we went to supper, I could easily account for the apparition.

  "I took, therefore, our dubious host by the arm, exclaiming, They are thieves, as true as I am alive I Don't you see that your clock is gone?" He was struck by that remark, and we instantly attacked the phantom with drawn swords. However, the human spectre had a long staff in its hand, with which it parried our thrusts excellently. The servant entering with a candle, along with my friend, I observed that the torch which I still held in my left hand was in my way, and threw it into my antagonist's face. His headdress caught fire; and I threw my sword down, taking hold of his stick. The Marquis did the same: we began to embrace him in a most violent manner, and before half a minute was elapsed, came with him down upon the floor. The fellow being seized with despair, displayed a more than human strength, and could have killed every one of us if he had been armed. Being, , however, engaged by four men at once, he was soon exhausted; and begged us, in a hollow accent, to spare him. The Marquis promised to pardon him; and he confessed that he belonged to a band of five robbers, who had intended to avail themselves of the bustle our festival produced in the castle, to plunder it: in short, he confirmed my suspicion.