Through the Tears (Sandy Cove Series Book 2)

by Rosemary Hines

  Oh brother. Now he thinks I’m a nervous schoolgirl or something.

  “I guess I was just a little surprised you knew it was me at the door without even turning around.”

  He chuckled and gave her shoulder a little squeeze. “It was your fragrance. Love’s Breeze, I believe.”

  “Oh. You’re right. It is Love’s Breeze,” she stammered, her cheeks turning to crimson.

  “So what brings you here early?” He released his hold on her shoulder and gestured to one of the floor cushions as he sat back down.

  “I saw Michelle yesterday. She said to tell you hi.” Why did I say that? Michelle will kill me.

  Trevor’s eyebrows lifted into gentle arches over his eyes. “Really? And how is she doing these days? You said she’s pregnant.”

  “Yes, actually she’s expecting in early December. She and Steve are really excited. I was helping her decorate the nursery when I was there yesterday.”

  Trevor nodded, a thoughtful smile caressing his face. “Speaking of Steve,” he said, “I think I saw him the other day at a clinic.”

  “Really?” Monica was stunned that he actually brought it up.

  “Yeah. It’s a small infertility clinic not too far from here. Maybe you’ve seen it. It’s called Sandy Cove Women’s Fertility Clinic.”

  “Oh yeah. I know the one. That’s where Michelle’s doctor is.”

  “Well then Steve must have been there with her for one of her appointments.”

  “Probably,” she replied. “So do you ever talk to Michelle anymore?”

  “You know, I haven’t seen or talked to her for quite a while. Maybe I should swing by and congratulate her.”

  She was just about to ask him what he was doing at the clinic when another member of the class walked in. Trevor’s attention immediately shifted to the other student, who wanted to know if it was too late to enroll her friend in the next session.

  Well, at least I found out it really was him at the clinic. I’ll have to warn Michelle he might be dropping by. She tried to refocus herself on the class that would begin soon, but she was dying to find out what Trevor had been doing at a fertility clinic.

  Trevor was sitting in his living room, a new age flute CD playing in the background. He was looking at a picture of Michelle he had taken at one of their classes. As he sipped his wine, he savored her beauty. Oh, Michelle. If only you could see the bigger reality, the inevitable destiny of our souls. He sighed, dropping her photo on the coffee table and blew out the large, multi-wick candle he lit every night.

  “If my plan works, maybe you’ll see we were really meant to be together,” he said to her picture. He got up to go to his bedroom, still holding the glass of wine in his hand. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he picked up the phone and dialed. “Ginger?” he asked. “It’s Trevor Wind. Got a minute?”

  Ginger Stiles was a student from a previous class he’d taught on meditation. She worked at the clinic as one of Dr. Foster’s nurses.

  “Hey, Trevor. It’s good to hear your voice,” she purred.

  “Want to go for a little bike ride?”

  “Sure! I can be ready in ten minutes.”

  “I’ll be there.” Trevor hung up the phone, smiling to himself.

  Steve seemed to be in a particularly good mood when he got home that evening. “Hi, beautiful,” he said to his wife as he embraced her in the kitchen. “What’s cooking? It smells great.”

  “I put a roast in about an hour ago. It’s almost ready.” She gave him a kiss and handed him the photos from the latest ultrasound. “More pictures of little Madison,” she said with a grin.

  “Let me see that gorgeous kid.” He took the pictures and started flipping through them. “Yep. Looks just like her mom,” he observed with a wink.

  “Steve?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You seem so different lately.”

  “Like how?”

  “Like you’re really excited about the baby.”

  Setting the pictures down on the counter, he and looked up into her eyes. “And?”

  “And I just wondered what changed your mind?” She felt like she was stumbling over her words, not saying exactly what she meant. “I mean, other than the ultrasound, was there something else that changed the way you feel about all this?

  Steve put his hands on her shoulders and cocked his head to one side. “You know I was never opposed to us having children, right?”

  “Right.”

  “It was just the insemination thing that threw me for a loop.”

  “I know. That’s what I’m talking about. How did you get past that?”

  “I had a talk with Jim and LouEllen after church awhile back.”

  “Was that the time when you guys were standing under that big tree over by the parking lot? I thought maybe you were talking about the bake sale.”

  “No. We were talking about you.”

  “What were you saying?” she asked, as she sunk down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

  Steve sat down across from her, reaching out and taking her hand in his. “LouEllen was talking about how you were ‘glowing’ since you found out about the baby. Jim winked and told me what a lucky guy I was to have such a beautiful wife who wanted to be a wife and mom more than a career woman.” He paused and squeezed her hand. “It made me realize how I was losing touch with all the dreams we had been trying to build since the day we met – our life as a couple and someday as a family.”

  Michelle smiled, her eyes tearing up. “Jim and LouEllen are the best, aren’t they? It’s almost like having Grandpa and Grandma nearby.”

  “Yeah. They really got me thinking that day. Then, when we went for the first ultrasound and I saw the baby and how excited you were, it suddenly became exciting for me, too. It’s like God opened my eyes to the miracle of that new little life and told me He was entrusting her to my care.”

  A tear slipped down Michelle’s check and she brushed it off with her free hand, a nervous laugh escaping as she said, “Why do pregnant women have to cry about everything?”

  He stood up and pulled her gently to her feet. As she rested her head against his chest, he held her close. “I love you, Mrs. Baron,” he murmured into her hair.

  “You too, Mr. Baron.”

  Ginger was waiting out in front of her apartment when Trevor pulled up on his motorcycle. She hopped on the back, and they took off for a ride along the coast. The sky was clear and a full moon danced on the surf.

  When they got to his favorite beach, he pulled the bike to a stop and climbed off, helping Ginger dismount as well. They walked to the rocks overlooking the water and sat down.

  “So, how’s work?” he asked, his voice thick with meaning.

  “Great. Everything’s going along perfectly. You heard she’s pregnant, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you’re the donor.”

  “Well, I was hoping I was, but I just wanted to confirm it with you.”

  She feigned dismay. “Since when have I ever let you down?”

  “Never.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Thanks, Ginger.”

  “Sure. No problem.” She smiled at him like a star-struck schoolgirl. “So tell me, why was this so important to you?”

  “Her husband’s an old friend of mine. They’ve wanted to have a kid for a while now. I just thought maybe I could help, without them ever finding out. You know, sort of storing up some good karma for the future.”

  “Well you were the perfect candidate since you and her husband have such similar characteristics.”

  “That’s what I was hoping. Anyway, I’m just glad I could help. Maybe someday, in another life, they’ll thank me.”

  “It’ll have to be in another life, Trevor. No one can ever know about this. You understand that, right? That was part of the deal. This stuff is strictly confidential. I could lose my job and my license if it ever got out that I arranged this for you.”

  “Not to worry, sweet Ginger,” he repl
ied, drawing her into an embrace. He could feel her melt in his arms. She looked up at him and they kissed, gently first and then more passionately, Trevor’s hands beginning to explore the curves of her body as his mind imagined Michelle in his arms.

  Michelle and Steve made love that night tenderly, expressing feelings that had been suppressed for months under the stress of all the infertility testing and the insemination process. It was almost like they were newlyweds again, rediscovering each other and the perfect bond God had created for their marriage.

  Steve slept soundly. In the early morning hours, he awakened to the sound of Michelle’s muffled voice.

  “No, Trevor. Give her to me. No. She’s mine.”

  He reached over and gently shook her shoulder. “Michelle? Hey, babe — wake up.”

  She made a groaning sound and turned toward him. She slowly opened her eyes, looking a little disoriented. “Wow. I was having a really weird dream,” she said.

  “I know. You were saying something about Trevor and about giving something back to you.”

  “It was the baby.”

  “The baby?” Steve sat up against the headboard.

  “Yeah. Trevor had the baby. He wouldn’t give her back to me.” Her eyes started to fill again.

  “Hey, don’t cry. It was just a dream.” He wrapped his arms around her, and she nestled against his chest. He could hear her sniffling and feel her trembling slightly. “Shh. It’s okay,” he soothed. Gradually she relaxed in his arms. As he stroked her arms, cuddling her close, he couldn’t help wondering if a connection existed between seeing Trevor at the clinic and this dream about the baby. Is it possible Trevor could be the donor? “No,” Steve said aloud to himself.

  “No, what?” she asked, pushing away from him to look at his face.

  “Nothing.”

  “Tell me. Tell me what you were just thinking.” Her expression was serious.

  “It just kind of freaked me out that you were dreaming about Trevor.”

  “It wasn’t a romantic-type dream, if that’s what you were thinking.”

  “I wasn’t thinking that. I guess it just bothers me that I saw him at the clinic, and now you had this dream about him taking the baby.”

  “It is weird isn’t it?”

  “You don’t think Trevor could be the donor, do you?” he asked.

  “Oh, my God. I hope not.” She looked really troubled. “It can’t be. That would just be too much of a coincidence.”

  “But he does have similar features to me. Remember how the doctor said they try to pick a donor who is about the same height and build of the father with similar coloring.” He studied her face for a reaction.

  “This is crazy. It was just a dream. Trevor couldn’t be the donor. He’d never do anything like that, anyway. He’s way too caught up in all his New Age stuff.”

  “I hope you’re right. I don’t know if I could deal with him being the biological father of our baby,” he replied, feeling his old feelings of hostility and jealously toward Trevor surfacing. He didn’t trust the guy for a minute. He’d seen the way Trevor looked at Michelle, and he could guess what he’d been thinking.

  “We don’t ever have to worry about that. Remember, Dr. Foster said it’s confidential who the donor is.”

  “Yeah. Right.” Steve forced a smile and kissed her on the forehead. Just then his alarm clock started to ring. “Guess it’s time for me to get up.” He gently lifted her off his chest and got out of bed.

  As Michelle was folding laundry in the family room, she heard what sounded like a motorcycle come up the driveway. She peered out the window through the shades. Trevor was getting off his bike and placing his helmet on the seat.

  Oh my gosh. What is he doing here? She checked herself in the mirror and hurried to the door.

  “Trevor. What a surprise.” Michelle stood in the doorway, her heart pounding.

  “Hi, Michelle. I was in the area and decided to swing by.”

  Michelle just nodded. “I see.”

  “Can I come in?” Trevor gestured to the living room behind her.

  “Uh, yeah, I guess so.” Michelle moved to the side, and Trevor walked past her as Max trotted over to see who it was.

  “This must be Max. Monica mentioned him to me.” Trevor squatted down and scratched the top of Max’s head.

  Michelle wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t really want Trevor in the house, and she was mentally kicking herself for letting him in. “So how’ve you been?” she asked.

  “Fine. Great. How about you?”

  “I’m fine. Busy.”

  “How’s your dad doing?”

  “He’s better. He’s home now. It’s really a miracle.”

  “Sounds like it. That’s great.”

  An awkward pause hung in the air. Then Michelle said, “Would you like to sit down?” She gestured toward the sofa, and Trevor took a seat, peeling off his leather gloves and setting them down at his side on the cushion. Max jumped up and climbed into his lap, while Michelle sat in a nearby chair, her heart pounding.

  “So you’re having a baby,” he observed, glancing at her swollen abdomen.

  She smiled. “Yeah. We are. She’s due in December.”

  “She?”

  “Uh huh. We’re having a girl. Madison.”

  “Madison. Nice name.” He leaned forward and put his hand on her knee. “Congratulations, kitten,” he added, using the pet name he’d given her during her class with him.

  Her stomach did a flip. She stood up. “Thanks, Trevor. Thanks for coming by. I wish I could visit more, but I’m really kind of busy today.”

  “No problem. I just wanted to check on you. It’s been a long time.” He rose to face her. “I’m really happy for you. You deserve this baby. Really.”

  Michelle nodded. “Thanks.” She turned and walked over to the door.

  “Guess I’m getting the boot, Max,” Trevor said as he followed her. “I hope you’ll stay in touch, Michelle. I’d love to see Madison after she’s born.”

  “Maybe. You know Steve’s not very fond of us being friends.” She was feeling even more uneasy.

  “Hey, speaking of Steve, I saw him awhile back. He was at the clinic. It must have been for your doctor’s appointment or something.”

  “Yeah.” Michelle hesitated and then decided to just ask. “What were you doing there?”

  “Actually, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

  “What?”

  “Well, ever since my sister went through her bout with infertility, I’ve been trying to do my part to help others out. I’m a donor at the clinic. It’s supposed to be confidential, so don’t tell anyone, okay?”

  Michelle could feel the blood draining from her head. She felt sick, like she might faint.

  “Are you okay? You don’t look so good,” he asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m fine.” She threw open the door, hoping the fresh air would clear her head.

  “Well then, I guess I’ll go.” With both hands on her shoulders, he brushed his lips over her cheek. “I miss you, Michelle. Bye.”

  She pulled back. “Bye, Trevor. Don’t come over here again.”

  He seemed to ignore her remark, climbing on his bike and starting it up. Michelle closed the door, leaning her back against it and slipping to the floor, hugging her bent knees to her chest. Max paced back and forth in front of her mewing and rubbing against her shins.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Michelle heard Steve come in through the kitchen door. It had taken her most of the day to recover from Trevor’s visit and decide if she should or shouldn’t tell Steve. She knew he’d be upset about Trevor being here, and she could only guess how he’d feel if he found out Trevor really was a donor at the clinic. Most of all, she didn’t want to lose the closeness she and Steve had in their marriage now. She decided not to mention the visit at all.

  “Hi, honey,” she said as she gave him a hug and kiss.

  “Hi, babe. How was your day?” />
  She turned away. “It was fine, how about yours?”

  “Hectic. Lots of meetings.” He walked over and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “When’s dinner?”

  “I thought we’d call for pizza.” Michelle had neglected to fix dinner, so consumed with her thoughts from earlier that day.

  “Sounds good. Want me to call?”

  “No. I can do it. Why don’t you go in the family room and relax?”

  “I think I’ll go up and change first.” He put his hands on her shoulders just like Trevor had that morning.

  Michelle shuddered.

  “What was that? Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Just got a chill for a second.”

  “Well, maybe you should sit down and relax, and let me take care of ordering the pizza.”

  “No, really — I’m fine. Just go get changed.” She pushed away from him.

  “Okay. If you say so.” A puzzled look on his face pierced her.

  She could hear him talking to Max as he went into the living room. She rummaged through the junk drawer looking for pizza coupons. Then scanning the sheet for the phone number, she called and ordered their dinner. Her stomach was in knots and the last thing she felt like doing was eating, but she knew Steve must be starved.

  A few moments later he came back into the kitchen with something black in his hands. “What are these?” he asked, handing Trevor’s gloves to her.

  Michelle stared down at the gloves. Then she started shaking her head back and forth.

  “Michelle, what’s wrong?” He lifted her chin with his finger and looked into her eyes, his face knit into an expression of concern mingled with fear.

  “I wasn’t going to tell you,” she began, her voice catching in her throat.

  “Tell me what?” Now he looked more upset than ever.

  “Trevor came by.”

  “Here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When?”

  “This morning.” She sank down into the kitchen chair, bracing herself for his response.

  “What happened?”