Run

by Mandasue Heller

  ‘I know.’ Joan sighed. ‘But she hasn’t been out in a while, and she was only nipping round to her mate’s for a brew.’

  ‘What mate?’ Chrissie frowned at her mother over Dylan’s shoulder. ‘She hasn’t bloody got any. And I thought you had more sense. She’ll be after drugs.’

  ‘All right, stop going on about it,’ Joan said irritably. ‘She took me for a mug, but it won’t happen again.’

  Chrissie gazed at her mum and sighed when she saw how pale and exhausted she looked. ‘Why don’t you get yourself off to bed,’ she suggested. ‘I’ll look after Dylan. And don’t worry about our Tina,’ she added darkly. ‘I’ll deal with her.’

  ‘Thanks, love.’ Joan hauled herself off the couch and squeezed Chrissie’s arm gratefully before making her way out into the hall.

  Dylan had stopped crying by then, and his swollen eyes were beginning to droop as he sniffled into Chrissie’s shoulder. Stroking his damp hair, she said, ‘Let’s get you to bed as well, eh, little man?’

  ‘Can I sleep wiv you?’ Dylan asked, the words coming out in little sobs.

  Chrissie squeezed her eyes shut. He was a restless sleeper, and she’d be black and blue come the morning from him tossing and turning. But she supposed it was better than the alternative: both her and her mum being kept awake by him crying because she’d made him sleep in the cot he was fast growing out of.

  ‘All right,’ she agreed. ‘But only for tonight, and then you’re back in your own bed. And you’ll have to be a big boy and go to the toilet first. Okay?’

  When Dylan nodded and wrapped his little arms around her neck, Chrissie kissed his clammy cheek and carried him up the stairs. She loved him dearly, but she could happily have throttled his feckless mother for once again forcing her to give up her sleep for him.

  22

  ‘Annie Kiss Kiss . . . Annie Kiss Kiss . . .’

  Chrissie jerked awake when she heard Dylan calling her and felt him tugging on her hand. The room was still dark when she peeled an eye open, but a faint sliver of daylight was showing at the top edge of the curtains, and a glance at the clock on the bedside table told her that it was 7.30 a.m.

  Raising the quilt, she murmured, ‘Get back in, sweetie. It’s too early to get up yet.’

  ‘Nana cold,’ Dylan said as he clambered up and wriggled in beside her. ‘Want brek-brek, but she won’t get up.’

  Chrissie’s instincts bristled, and she felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water down her back.

  ‘Wait there,’ she said, climbing quickly out of the bed and tucking the quilt around him. ‘I won’t be a minute. Keep it warm for me.’

  Her heart began to pound in her chest when she approached her mum’s door. Mum was a life-long snorer, and Chrissie would usually have been able to hear her by now. But the only sound she could hear was the dripping of the bathroom tap.

  ‘Mum . . . ?’ she whispered, forcing herself to push the door open and go into the room. ‘Are you asleep?’

  Even as the words left her mouth, she instinctively knew that she wouldn’t get a reply, but she prayed that she was wrong. The heating wasn’t set to come on for another hour and the room was icy, so that would be why her mum had felt cold to Dylan.

  Or maybe it’s because she’s dead . . .

  Shaking her head to clear the unwelcome thought, Chrissie went over to the bed and gazed down at her mother in the dim light leaking in from the hall. She was lying on her back with her head turned to one side, eyes closed, mouth open – the way she always slept. But the quilt wasn’t rising and falling, and the silence was becoming more deafening by the second.

  Shaking with dread, Chrissie reached out and tentatively touched her mother’s exposed shoulder – her cold, unmoving shoulder.

  ‘Oh, no . . .’ she murmured. ‘Please, no, you can’t be. Come on, Mum . . . wake up. Please . . .’

  ‘Nana ’wake now?’

  Jumping when she heard Dylan’s voice, Chrissie turned to see him peering in at her from the doorway. It was all she could do to hold herself together, and her voice sounded high and squeaky to her own ears as she told him to be a good boy and go back to bed.

  ‘She gon’ get my toast now?’ Dylan rubbed his eyes with a tiny fist.

  Furiously blinking back the tears that were flooding her eyes, Chrissie shook her head and walked over to him. ‘No, baby, she’s too tired, so let’s leave her in peace, eh? I’ll make your breakfast.’ She took his hand and led him out on to the landing, pulling her mum’s door shut behind her.

  When Dylan was settled on the couch with a plate of toast on his knee and his favourite cartoons on TV, Chrissie went into the kitchen to make some calls. She tried her sister first, but when it went to voicemail for the fourth time, she reluctantly left a message.

  ‘Tina, it’s me. I know you’re probably blanking my calls because you think I’m going to have a go at you for staying out, but you need to ring me as soon as you get this. I can’t tell you over the phone, but it’s urgent, so please ring me. Or, better still, come home. Please!’

  That done, she dialled 999.

  ‘Ambulance – I think,’ she said when the operator asked which service. ‘It’s my mum. I just – I just went into her room and f-found her, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’

  Unable to hold back the tears any longer, she sobbed as she gave the operator the details she needed. Then, cutting the call when it was done, she covered her face with a tea towel so that Dylan wouldn’t hear her as she bawled her eyes out.

  The pain was sharper than anything she’d ever felt in her life before. Her mum . . . her funny, beautiful, sometimes crabby, always supportive mum was gone – and she’d ripped Chrissie’s heart right out of her chest and taken it along with her.

  23

  ‘Oh, darling, I’m so sorry,’ Leanne cried, her own eyes swimming with tears when she and Jake arrived at Chrissie’s house half an hour later. ‘Come here . . .’ She pulled her friend into her arms and hugged her tightly.

  Chrissie had only just managed to pull herself together for Dylan’s sake, and she didn’t want Leanne setting her off again, so she quickly extracted herself from the embrace.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said, filling the kettle and switching it on to make them a brew.

  ‘Has anyone been yet?’ Leanne asked.

  ‘No.’ Chrissie shook her head. ‘I wasn’t sure who I was supposed to contact, so I rang the emergency services. They said they’d have to pick her up and take her to the hospital because it was unexpected, so they’re going to send someone over. They didn’t say how long they’d be, but I don’t suppose they class it as urgent if the person’s already . . .’

  Dead.

  Unable to say the word, Chrissie took a deep breath before continuing. ‘Anyway, they’ll get here when they get here. So, what are we all having? Tea or coffee?’

  ‘You don’t have to put on a brave face for us,’ Leanne said softly, guessing that Chrissie was trying to do exactly that. ‘Why don’t you sit down and let me make the tea?’

  ‘Thanks, but I need to stay busy,’ Chrissie insisted. ‘You can check on Dylan for me, though, if you don’t mind? He’s in the front room. Here, take this to him.’ She poured a glass of milk and passed it over.

  ‘Does he know what’s happened?’ Leanne asked quietly.

  ‘Not yet.’ Chrissie shook her head. ‘He found her and woke me up to tell me she was cold and wouldn’t get up to make his breakfast. He thinks she’s still sleeping, but it won’t be long before he realizes something’s wrong.’

  ‘Poor little mite, it’s going to break his heart.’

  ‘Mmmm.’ Chrissie nodded her agreement and quickly turned to take cups out of the cupboard before the fresh tears that were welling in her eyes spilled over.

  ‘Would you like me to leave and give you two some space to talk?’ Jake asked from the doorway.

  ‘No, stay.’ Chrissie sniffed the tears back and turned to face him. ‘Unless you
’d rather go, obviously, in which case don’t feel like you’ve got to hang around. I know it’s not easy for men to deal with women at the best of times, but when they’re crying . . .’ She gave a mock grimace. ‘I’m sure you’d rather be a million miles away.’

  The doorbell rang at that moment, and Jake went off to answer it while Leanne went to see to Dylan.

  ‘It’s your neighbour,’ he said quietly when he returned a few seconds later. ‘What do you want me to tell her?’

  ‘It’s okay, I’ll speak to her,’ said Chrissie. ‘She’s probably guessed that something’s wrong, ’cos the walls are like paper in these houses.’

  She headed for the door now, but hesitated before going out. ‘Thanks for coming over, Jake. It means a lot to have you both here.’

  ‘That’s what mates are for,’ he replied softly. ‘Now go see to your neighbour; I’ll finish the brews.’

  Chrissie nodded and went to see Mrs Ford. She’d given Jake some stick in the past, but she couldn’t fault him for how happy he’d made Leanne, and she truly was grateful that they were both here to help her through this.

  Unlike her waste-of-space sister, who still hadn’t called back or replied to any of the texts Chrissie had sent since leaving the voicemail.

  The messages had all been marked as read when Chrissie had checked shortly before Jake and Leanne arrived, so she knew that Tina had seen them and must have realized something was badly wrong. But her lack of response highlighted how little the selfish whore cared about anything or anyone apart from herself.

  It was a frosty morning, and Mrs Ford was shivering as she waited on the doorstep. ‘Is everything all right, love?’ she asked, wrapping her cardigan tight around her bony frame when Chrissie opened the door. ‘I don’t like to pry, but I thought I heard someone crying when I was making my morning cuppa. And then when I saw your friends rushing in looking all upset, I knew something must be wrong. It’s not the little one, is it?’

  ‘No, it’s my mum,’ Chrissie told her quietly. ‘She, um, passed away in her sleep last night.’

  ‘Oh, no . . .’ Mrs Ford’s face crumpled. ‘I’m so very sorry, love. Is there anything I can do?’

  Feeling tearful again when she saw the genuine compassion in the older woman’s eyes, Chrissie shook her head and swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat.

  ‘Thanks, but there’s honestly nothing anyone can do until the ambulance gets here.’

  ‘Well, you know where I am, my love.’ Mrs Ford reached out and patted her arm. ‘Call me if you need me. Anytime, day or night.’

  Chrissie thanked her again and was about to go inside when Ben’s car pulled into the avenue. Waiting for him to park up as Mrs Ford made her way back into her own house, shaking her head sadly with every step, Chrissie smiled at Ben when he came up the path.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Jake phoned and told me what’s happened,’ Ben explained. ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming round uninvited, but I needed to make sure you were okay.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Chrissie told him, reaching into her dressing gown pocket for a tissue to wipe her nose. ‘And you’re always welcome, so of course I don’t mind you coming round.’ She waved him inside now and nodded at the kitchen door. ‘Jake’s in there. I’m just going to check on Leanne and Dylan. Won’t be a sec.’

  Jake was leaning against the sink drinking the tea he’d made and smoking a cigarette. ‘Good to see you, mate,’ he said quietly, flicking his ash down the plughole. ‘Awful news, isn’t it?’

  ‘Terrible,’ Ben agreed, giving him one of the quick hugs that men reserve for times such as this. ‘How’s she holding up?’

  ‘Pretty well, considering,’ said Jake, lowering his voice. ‘On the way over, Leanne told me this’ll be the third funeral she’s had to arrange in the last few years. Apparently, her dad died on holiday in Spain, and her mum went to pieces, so Chrissie had to fly over and arrange to have his body brought home. Then her fiancé got knifed to death in a car-jacking a few months later.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Ben frowned. ‘I had no idea she’d been engaged. Wow, that must have been traumatic.’

  ‘And now this.’ Jake sighed. ‘Doesn’t seem fair, does it?’

  ‘It’s absolutely tragic,’ Ben murmured, shaking his head. To lose one parent was bad enough, but to then lose her lover and her mother in such a short space of time was brutal.

  ‘I could swing for that bloody Tina,’ Leanne muttered, walking into the kitchen. ‘She went AWOL last night, and Chrissie’s been trying to get hold of her all morning, but she’s still not answering her phone. I know she doesn’t actually know what’s happened, but I knew something was up as soon as I heard Chrissie’s voice, ’cos any idiot could tell she’d been crying, so Tina must have picked up on it when she heard the voicemail.’

  ‘If Chrissie knows where she is, I could go and pick her up,’ Ben offered.

  ‘Believe me, if Chrissie knew, I’d have dragged Tina back by her hair by now,’ Leanne said angrily. Then, tempering her tone, she said, ‘Hi, by the way,’ and leaned down to give Ben a peck on the cheek.

  ‘At least she’s got you.’ Jake put his arm around her waist when she went over to him.

  ‘It’s not the same, though, is it?’ Leanne rested her head on his chest. ‘You need family around you at a time like this.’

  ‘I’ve got all the family I need right here,’ Chrissie said with forced brightness as she walked in with Dylan on her hip.

  Dylan caught Ben’s eye and shyly hid his face before peeping round Chrissie’s shoulder and giving a little grin.

  ‘Ah, bless him,’ Leanne said when she saw what he was doing. ‘I think he likes you, Ben.’

  ‘You’re honoured,’ said Chrissie. ‘He doesn’t usually take to men – do you, bud?’ She tickled Dylan’s tummy, but he was more interested in playing peek-a-boo, so she handed him to Leanne before opening the fridge and taking out a pack of ham and some cheese slices. ‘I’m making him a butty. Anyone else want one?’

  ‘How about me and Jake take him to McDonald’s for a bit?’ Leanne suggested after giving him a cuddle. ‘We’ll get him some food, and he can play in the ball pit.’

  Guessing that Leanne was offering to take him out so that he wouldn’t have to witness his beloved grandmother being taken away, Chrissie put the food back into the fridge.

  ‘Thanks, babe, that’s a great idea. I’ll just give him a quick wash and get him dressed.’

  Ben stood up when Chrissie had left the room. ‘I’d best get out of the way. Can you tell her I said goodbye, and let me know how she gets on?’

  ‘You can’t go,’ Leanne said quietly. ‘She shouldn’t be on her own at a time like this. I’d stay myself, but Dylan doesn’t know either of you, so he’d freak out if you tried to take him, and we need to get him out of here before they . . .’ she glanced at the staircase before whispering, ‘come for the body.’

  ‘Oh, sorry, I wasn’t thinking,’ said Ben. ‘But don’t you think she’d rather have someone she knows a bit better with her?’

  ‘You’ll do fine,’ Leanne said with certainty. ‘But can you give us a ring when the coast’s clear, so we know when it’s safe to bring Dylan home?’

  Promising that he would, Ben sat back down.

  Ten minutes later, when she’d dressed herself and Dylan, and Jake and Leanne had taken the child out, Chrissie flopped on to the chair facing Ben’s at the kitchen table.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

  ‘Not really,’ she admitted, giving him a sad smile. ‘The house feels way too quiet. I don’t know what to do with myself.’

  Jumping when her phone started ringing, she leapt to her feet and snatched it up off the ledge where she’d left it.

  ‘Tina, is that you?’

  ‘No, it’s me,’ an unfamiliar voice replied. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me already? And there was me thinking I’d made a big impression on you last night. Guess I’m not as irr
esistible as I thought, huh?’

  ‘Sorry,’ Chrissie murmured, turning her back to Ben when she realized it was Gary, her workmate’s brother. ‘It’s, um, not a very good time.’

  ‘It’s too early, isn’t it?’ Gary said apologetically. ‘I knew I should have messaged first to make sure you weren’t at work, but I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d take a chance. Shall I call you back at lunchtime?’

  ‘I’m not at work,’ Chrissie told him, remembering as she said it that she hadn’t let her boss know she wouldn’t be coming in today. ‘Look, I really can’t talk right now,’ she went on. ‘Let me call you when things are a little calmer.’

  ‘Sure, no problem,’ Gary agreed. ‘I hope I haven’t—’

  Chrissie cut the call before he could finish. As flattering as it was that he’d called when she genuinely hadn’t expected him to, she’d lost whatever enthusiasm she’d felt last night for the proposed date, and knew that she wouldn’t be calling him anytime soon.

  She turned to Ben now and glanced at the clock on the wall behind his head.

  ‘I thought the ambulance would have been here by now.’

  ‘I’m sure they won’t be too much longer,’ Ben said reassuringly.

  ‘Hope not,’ she muttered. ‘All this waiting is making me feel jittery.’

  ‘Come and sit down,’ Ben suggested. ‘You’ve spent the morning running round after everyone else, so why don’t I make you a fresh cup of tea while you take a break?’

  ‘I’ll do it,’ Chrissie said, scooping the empty cups off the table and carrying them to the sink. ‘I need to keep myself occupied, or I’ll end up . . .’ Unable to continue speaking as the tears she’d been trying so desperately to contain began to escape, she dropped her face into her hands.

  Ben got up and gently guided her to her seat. ‘Come on, you need to rest while you’ve got the chance.’

  When Chrissie suddenly turned and buried her face in his shirt, he patted her back in a soothing gesture – praying that she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating. It was so inappropriate to feel this way at a time like this, but the scent of her hair and the feel of her body pressed against his was making him light-headed.