Buster Midnight's Cafe

by Dallas, Sandra

  It wasn’t long after that May Anna got her first part in a motion picture. She was so excited she sent us a telegram: LANDED MOVIE ROLE STOP GANGSTERS ON PARADE STOP SPEAKING PART STOP SEEUN PICTURES STOP LOVE MAYANNA. It was the first telegram me and Whippy Bird ever received, and I have it in my memory box. Toney had to explain to me and Whippy Bird what all the “stops” meant.

  May Anna wrote us later that a director spotted her in a Spencer corsets ad and said she’d be nice in the part of the woman who got strangled in the movie. You probably never saw Gangsters on Parade. Nobody else did except me and Whippy Bird and Buster. It played at the American in Butte, and it even got top billing with a big sign on the marquee that said BUTTE GIRL STARS, which wasn’t true. You saw May Anna for about five seconds, saying, “No. No. Ahhhhh.” That was the speaking part. Then she slumped to the floor with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

  We’d seen May Anna play a lot of parts, looking cow-eyed at Buster or carrying on with Shawn at Gamer’s. But sitting at the American watching May Anna get killed, me and Whippy Bird knew she would be a Star of the Silver Screen.

  We got Pink and Chick to take us opening night. After that, the boys wouldn’t go again, so the two of us went by ourselves. We spent every night and every day off at the American watching May Anna. Me and Whippy Bird memorized every word of that picture’as well as West of the Pecos, which was on the same bill. I got so tired of that movie, I never liked westerns after that, but we had to sit through it so we could see May Anna’s picture again. If we left, we’d have to pay to get back into the theater.

  Buster was always at the American, too. He sat there waiting for May Anna to get killed, then left after May Anna’s part and had to buy another ticket to get back into the American to see her get killed the next time. Buster always did waste money.

  For a while we used some of those lines we memorized, like “Forget it, you cheap crook” and “Where’s the loot?” so our time wasn’t wasted. Whenever I asked Whippy Bird to do something she didn’t want to, she replied, “No, no, aahhhhh.” And every time a woman customer at Gamer’s was snotty, I’d mutter, “I’ll ice the dame,” under my breath, which was what the killer said before he murdered May Anna.

  We didn’t say that stuff around Buster, though, because he took May Anna’s acting very seriously. “Nothing’s going to stop May Anna from getting what she wants,” he said.

  Well, we took it seriously, too. Who else did we know who’d made it big like that, except Buster, and he wasn’t big yet. We could see May Anna was doing just fine because it seemed like every time we saw a movie after that, there would be May Anna. She was never in the main feature, just the B pictures, the kind where the men keep their hats on inside. She didn’t get many good speaking parts like in Gangsters on Parade, but she worked steady, and that is a major accomplishment in Hollywood where so many of your starlets had to work as waitresses or prostitutes. May Anna said she never had to work as a prostitute in Hollywood. Whippy Bird says that’s how you put it when you don’t get paid cash.

  The next big break for May Anna came in Tough Man, where she was a supporting actress and got a screen credit, too. She played the girlfriend of a gangster named Mad Dog, and got shot in a getaway car. May Anna got killed a lot in the early days.

  Tough Man was the first time we noticed May Anna had high cheekbones and that “luminous” skin everybody wrote about when she was a sex goddess. Whippy Bird says we sure were a pair of nitwits never noticing all the good parts of May Anna before. I remember when the robbers were in the bank vault and one of the gangsters struck a match that lit up everybody’s face. May Anna glowed like a Madonna with a halo, so you didn’t even notice the others. That’s why when she was a big star, the director always had her stand under a street lamp with a lot of fog blowing around her. Everything was black except May Anna’s shining face. Or you saw her in a dark nightclub smoking a cigarette with smoke swirling over her head and her face shining through it. She must have smoked about a million cigarettes in the movies. Whippy Bird says she is sorry about tobacco causing cancer because she liked to see those scenes in the movies with champagne glasses and cigarette smoke.

  May Anna wasn’t the only one doing exciting things. Me and Whippy Bird had plenty of news that you’ll be interested in. While May Anna was getting established in Hollywood, me and Pink decided to get married. Had to get married, Whippy Bird says, and that is surely true though we had planned on it anyway.

  Some boys might have run out on you when they found you were pg, but when I told Pink I was in the family way, he was so excited he hugged me and said we’d run off to anyplace I chose that very night. But I wanted a wedding with Whippy Bird as my maid of honor. Pink said I could have the biggest wedding in Butte, but I just wanted it quick since I knew people would be counting.

  We got married a week later. I was fretting that Pink wouldn’t show up, which would ruin my life, but Whippy Bird said there wasn’t a thing in the world short of death that would keep Pink away. I guess that was right. Buster stood up with us, too, and he made sure Pink was there even though he was nursing the worst hangover you ever saw. Buster and Chick took Pink to the Jug the night before the wedding, and they got him drunk, and I don’t know what else. I didn’t want to know. All that mattered was that Pink was there, even though he did have to say the words three or four times to get them straight. That was just the hangover, though. When the minister pronounced us man and wife, Pink kissed me for three minutes, until the minister drummed his fingers on the cross. Chick reminded Pink that he was paying by the hour, and we could kiss for free at the Rocky Mountain Cafe.

  That’s where we had our reception. Toney made about a hundred toasts to our happiness. He even toasted the Unholy Three. Pink, as an old married man, advised Chick to take the plunge himself. Then as we were leaving on our honeymoon to Ogden, Utah, Buster gave me a hug and said, “Babe, you got a fine man. And Pink’s one hell of a lucky guy.” I told Buster I surely hoped he found happiness, too, one day.

  When we got back from the honeymoon, which was only three days, Pink went to the mines; he worked at the Mountain Miser then. I went back to Gamer’s, but things weren’t right with me. I was sick all the time, not just morning sickness but something else. I’d never been pregnant before, but I knew there was something wrong with that baby. Two months later I lost it.

  I always thought I failed Pink that way. He was so excited about us having a baby, but he never said a cross word to me about losing it, and I loved him even more for that. He was the love of my life, just like May Anna was for Buster. Losing that baby was one of the sorrows of my life, and Pink’s, too, bless him.

  It took me a long time to get well. I had to stay in bed for two months. Pink never complained. He took care of me like I was a little blown-glass ballerina. He cooked and cleaned the house after he got home from work, which is not something your average Butte miner would be pleased to do. Pink told me the only thing in the world he wanted was for me to recover.

  Even with all those doctor bills to pay, Pink brought me flowers. The first time I got out of bed and ate at the table, he pinned an orchid corsage on my bathrobe, lit two big candles, and put on a record of “Little Brown Jug.” You’d have thought we were celebrating with plank steak at the Finlen Hotel instead of eggs and hash browns in the kitchen. Whippy Bird says I was the luckiest girl in the world to be married to Pink Varscoe, and she is surely right.

  Sometimes Buster stopped to cheer me up, which was especially nice because right then Buster didn’t have much to be cheerful about. His career was going nowhere. In fact, me and Whippy Bird wondered if Buster was finished as a boxer.

  When May Anna left, Buster McKnight acted fine, but Buster Midnight went to pieces. I had to laugh when Hunter Harper wrote that the effects of too much fast living caught up with Buster. That’s hogwash. The rest of us were the fast livers. Buster took care of himself. What put him in that long, slow tailspin was May Anna going to Hollywood.


  Buster lost his first fight in history a couple of weeks after she left. It was a dinky fight against a punch-drunk old bum who wasn’t good enough to be Buster’s sparring partner let alone face him in the ring. The fight was held in the Knights of Columbus hall. Me and Whippy Bird and Pink and Chick went, and it was the sorriest fight I ever saw. Buster just asked to get beat up. There was no sign of the famous Buster Midnight punch. In fact, Buster didn’t punch at all. He got hit and hit again. People booed, but Buster still didn’t get any better. In one round, the other fighter knocked Buster down, and the only thing that saved him was the bell.

  When the fight was over, Buster lost the decision. We booed at that and told Buster he was robbed. But we knew it wasn’t so.

  Losing one fight wasn’t bad, but Buster lost five in a row. All of a sudden he was washed up. We didn’t see the other fights, since they were out of town, but Toney said Buster was just as bad. After that Toney had a hard time rounding up matches in Montana for Buster.

  “He’s got no heart no more,” Toney said. “It makes me madder than hell that that broad did this to him.”

  We were down at the Rocky Mountain Cafe doing our best to get rid of a couple of bottles of red while we fed the slot machines.

  “Don’t you blame May Anna. God didn’t put her on this earth to work Venus Alley so Buster could beat up people,” Whippy Bird told him. She was always quick to defend May Anna, just like she is now.

  “Hell, it’s Buster’s fault,” Chick said, agreeing with Whippy Bird. “Maybe he’s not as good as we think.”

  “He’s good all right,” Toney said. “The best in the business. But he ain’t going to last long at this rate.”

  “Maybe he just has to get out of Montana,” Chick told Toney, who was brooding, dropping ashes from his Old Gold on top of his spaghetti. “Where else could you set up Buster? What about Colorado, all those mining towns?”

  “Hell, Colorado mining towns are dead. Besides, that ain’t far enough away,” Toney said.

  “What about California, since that’s where May Anna is,” I asked.

  “Right out of the frying pan into the fire,” Toney said. “That’s the dumbest idea I ever heard.”

  Pink didn’t like Toney saying that. “You shut your mouth. Don’t you talk like that to Effa Commander,” he said.

  “Sorry, Effa Commander. I didn’t mean it. I know you’re trying to help. It’s just that I see Buster’s whole career falling down a glory hole.” I bet he was thinking about his own career taking a dive down a glory hole, too.

  “So take him where there aren’t any glory holes. Take him to New York,” I told Toney.

  He put out his Old Gold in the spaghetti and thought for a long time. “Just maybe I will,” he said finally.

  Buster didn’t think much of the idea. When he showed up later, Toney was all excited, telling Buster he was wasting himself on a bunch of burgs when what he really needed was a shot at the big time. “Hey, Kid Midnight. It’s city lights for us. Me and you is moving up in the world. I’ll get you fights in New York and Chicago and all the big cities. Next time you see Butte, you’ll be head of a parade.”

  “Naw. I been thinking about trying to get on at the Badger. They’re hiring.”

  That was the worst thing Buster could say. It made us all feel miserable. It was OK for Buster to work in the mines when he was on his way up, but he quit mining to work full-time as a fighter. Going back meant Buster was giving up.

  “Oh, come on, kid. We’ll have a hell of a time.” Toney slapped him on the back.

  “No, Tone. I’m sorry to let you down. That’s the way it is now.”

  They argued back and forth like that. Buster wouldn’t budge. We figured Toney would get him to come around, and we were right. He never did start at the Badger. In about a week, Buster and Toney were on their way. Pink asked him why he’d changed his mind, and Buster said he’d gotten a telegram from May Anna, though he never told Pink what it said. Me and Whippy Bird were surprised because May Anna never mentioned anything in any of her letters about sending Buster a wire. Whippy Bird says you’re batty, Effa Commander, if you still think May Anna sent that telegram.

  So Buster and Toney were on their way but not to New York and not with any style. They didn’t have any money since Toney couldn’t bootleg with liquor legal again, so they decided to ride the rods. Now any kid who grew up in Butte knew how to hop a ride on the cowcatcher or the death woods under the boxcars. That was the way you got from Butte to the smelter at Anaconda. Toney figured with them being broke they would hitch a ride to Chicago to look things over then go on to New York.

  But Toney never rode the bottom of a train before, and from the bottom of a transcontinental railroad car, he couldn’t tell what direction they were headed. That’s why he and Buster wound up in Salt Lake City, Utah, instead of Chicago. They rode all the way on the steel rods beneath a Pullman car, and Buster said he never would do that again even if he had to walk. They had to tell stories all night to stay awake because if you fell asleep on the underside of a freight car, which was only a few inches above the track, you were dead. Toney was all for keeping on to Kansas City, but Buster said no. Besides, a hobo traveling alongside them said Salt Lake was a prosperous town because the cigarette butts around the tracks were only half-smoked.

  So Toney went around and got Buster a fight in an old gym where there were pictures of Jack Dempsey. It wasn’t a big fight because Buster didn’t look like much of a fighter with a couple days growth of beard and an inch of railroad dust on his clothes. The promoter figured he was just a bum who was willing to get beat up for a few bucks. Still, he signed him up. Then Buster won. Toney said Buster didn’t just win. He won by a knockout in the second round, bringing them twenty bucks. The promoter wanted to sign Buster on for more fights. Toney wasn’t Buster’s manager for nothing. The price went up, and two weeks later, they had enough money to afford tickets to ride inside the Pullman instead of under it. You’d think they’d ride coach and save the money, but not Toney and Buster. When they had it, they spent it.

  After he won a few fights, Buster started to get his confidence back. It didn’t hurt that Toney called May Anna long-distance and told her she owed it to Buster to write him a letter every now and then. So she started writing Buster letters of his own instead of telling me and Whippy Bird to say hello to him for her. Toney didn’t want him to go into another slump, so he decided to skip the big cities where he might get beat and book fights for Buster in places like Denver and Kansas City. Toney worked out a regular itinerary of Buster Midnight fights, and Buster won them all. Most of them with knockouts. He fought for a couple of months then came home to Butte to rest, knocking off a few bouts at the Centerville Gym and the Knights of Columbus for the hometown folks. Then he headed out on the circuit again. Pretty soon, Toney was talking about Buster being a champ again. The old Buster Midnight was back.

  He surely was a more serious Buster Midnight, though. Toney didn’t have to tell him to work out. That’s all Buster did. What was driving Buster, Whippy Bird said, was the need to prove he was good enough for May Anna, now that the two of them were back together’by letter anyway. The only way he could do that was to be a champ. As usual, Whippy Bird was right.

  Now I’m going to tell you about what happened to Whippy Bird. She and Chick got married, though they took the longest time to make up their minds. Whippy Bird says to say she didn’t have to, but that was just luck. Luck and three days because Fred Commander O’Reilly was born nine months and three days after the wedding. We called him “Moon” because when May Anna saw his picture she said he looked just like Moon Mullins in the funny papers.

  If you didn’t know, it would be hard to tell who Moon’s parents were because me and Pink cared about that baby just as much as Whippy Bird and Chick. I still do. Moon once said to me, “I sure was lucky, Aunt Efra Commander, that God gave me two mothers.” He has never once missed sending me a card on Mother’s Day, though w
hen he was little, I know it was Whippy Bird who bought them for him to give me.

  The four of us took little Moon everywhere. Chick finished making the cradle he had started for our baby and put it up in our living room so Moon could sleep there. I never saw Pink get excited the way he did the Christmas we gave Moon a scooter. Of course, it took him a while before he could use it, since he was only six months old.

  We were all together with Moon when we heard May Anna on the radio the first time. We caught the show by accident.

  Me and Pink were eating at Whippy Bird’s house, and we were right in the middle of Radio Pudding, which is the worst dessert that was ever invented, when The Jack Benny Program came on the radio. We had been kidding Whippy Bird about how she forgot to bake the Radio Pudding and that we were going to get heartburn because it was so heavy. That made Whippy Bird laugh because she knew she was no cook. She was laughing harder than any of us when the announcer said, “Why here’s one of Hollywood’s brightest stars.”

  We didn’t pay any attention to Jack Benny until we heard May Anna’s voice say, “Why, hello there, Mr. Benny.” Hearing May Anna say “Why, hello there” sounded so natural that Pink turned around to see if May Anna was at the door before he caught himself and realized her voice was coming from the radio. Me and Whippy Bird sat there with our mouths open while Pink and Chick poked each other, swelling up like they were part of the show.

  Mr. Benny and May Anna did a skit where May Anna purred and talked sexy. When he asked if she’d like to go to the movies, she said she’d bring her mother along.

  “As a chaperone?” he asked.

  “No, as your date,” May Anna told him. “I’d ask my grandmother, but she’s busy.”

  She surely was good. When the skit was over, Jack Benny thanked May Anna for coming to the show and said to be sure and see her in Mobster Madness. Everybody clapped, including us. Then at the end of the show, the announcer read her name again, and we cheered.