Guardian

by Unknown

  Her only thought his safety, she ran for Verlyn. When he would have grabbed her, she shifted into her jackal form and latched onto his forearm with everything she had.

  Verlyn screamed out in pain, trying to pound her into releasing him. But she wasn’t about to let go. Not until he was gone and they were safe.

  Out of nowhere, a bolt of lightning went through the room, striking Verlyn right through his heart. Lydia released him immediately. Unfortunately, the bolt didn’t kill him, but it knocked him through the glass window and sent him to the sea below.

  Maahes ran to check on them.

  Seth wasn’t ready for that as he stared at Lydia’s true form.

  She was a jackal.

  A fucking jackal.

  And as he stared at her, something about her tugged at his memories. Like déjà vu. But he couldn’t place it. Not right then when he was grappling with so many other rancid emotions vying for his attention.

  Why hadn’t she told him?

  Unaware of the turmoil he’d interrupted, Maahes pulled back from the window. “C’mon. We need to get out of here. I’m pretty sure our friend down there isn’t dead.”

  Verlyn wasn’t, but in a few minutes, Lydia might be.

  His gaze never wavering from her canine body, Seth pushed himself up from the floor.

  Lydia returned to her human form even though she had second thoughts about it. One look at Seth’s face and she knew just how badly she’d screwed up.

  He would never forgive her for this. And she couldn’t blame him for it. Not really.

  But right now, they had to get away from Verlyn and she still had her promise to keep. She wasn’t about to allow Noir to take Seth back.

  “Where do we go now?” she asked Maahes.

  Maahes stepped away from the shattered window. “Out of here, ’cause he’s getting up and he don’t look too happy about it. Does he have any friends?”

  Seth’s tone was stoically dry. “He makes his own friends.”

  Moving to stand next to Maahes, Lydia didn’t understand what Seth meant until she scanned the landscape below where Verlyn had fallen, and saw that he could split himself into multiple beings. Multiple beings who could fly and climb up …

  Fast.

  Maahes cursed. He grabbed Lydia by the arm, then Seth. One second they were in his house, and in the next, they appeared in the throne room of a huge golden Egyptian temple. Lydia turned around slowly to take in the beauty of it. From the luminescent way it appeared, she was sure they were no longer in the human realm, but another. The walls shimmered from sheets of gold. There was a huge dais in the center where a gilded throne was flanked by two god statues. She had no idea which two, though. One she could swear must be Maahes’s. Not that it looked like him. It was merely an impression she had.

  “Now I dare that bastard to come here,” Maahes said proudly.

  Lydia hoped he was right, but she wasn’t feeling so cocky. “Where are we?”

  “Ma’at’s house. Her temple, actually. She doesn’t really live here. She thinks it’s too ostentatious.” He all but sneered the last word.

  Yeah, he would say that, given the overstated luxury estate he lived in. Obviously, Maahes didn’t have a problem flaunting excess wealth.

  “We’ll be safe here,” Maahes said confidently.

  Seth snorted. “I wouldn’t bet my house on it. Believe me, he’ll find us. It’s what he does.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  Seth gave him a withering stare. “He was one of the original six primal gods. Believe me, this won’t even slow him down.”

  Maahes cursed under his breath.

  “Exactly,” Seth added sardonically.

  Lydia refused to be so pessimistic. “Then how do we escape him?”

  “We don’t. Ever.”

  Maahes narrowed his gaze. “I don’t believe that. There’s always a way to defeat anything. You two make yourselves at home, and I’ll be back in a few.” He vanished instantly.

  Alone now, Lydia felt awkward as she turned toward Seth. His face was stoic, but it was the torment in his eyes that cut to her soul.

  “I’m sorry. I should have told you what I was.”

  Still, he gave her no clue about his mood. “Why didn’t you?”

  “Jaden told me not to. Given what happened to you, we were afraid of how you’d react to it.”

  He rubbed absently at his neck where the swallow would be under his armor. “Does Jaden make all of your decisions for you now?”

  She screwed her face up in distaste. What was he trying to say? She wasn’t exactly sure, but she knew it was making her angry. “That’s not fair, and you know he doesn’t.”

  He moved to stand in front of her, reminding her of just how huge and intimidating he could be, even when he wasn’t trying. And even though he appeared completely calm and composed, his blue eyes screamed at her. Or maybe that was the weight of her own conscience.

  The one thing she was sure about was that she’d hurt him. And that she’d never meant to do.

  “Then why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly.

  That answer was complicated so she settled on a simple one that she hoped would placate him without hurting him more. “I was afraid he was right.”

  Seth ground his teeth as she stabbed him straight through his heart. For a full minute, he couldn’t breathe from the pain of her words that hurt him so much more than any physical blow. So, he’d been right, even though deep inside, he’d been hoping he was wrong.

  Still, he refused to let her know just how much damage she’d done to him with that.

  Not now.

  You’re a monster. Why would she ever see anything else? You’re stupid and revolting …

  He cleared his throat to make sure no residual emotions would be there to betray him when he spoke. “Have I ever given you any reason to fear me?”

  Her jaw dropped with incredulity. “Uh, yeah.” Then she ticked her list off her fingers. “You took my powers. Made me your prisoner and threatened to kill me and my father. Have you forgotten that you tortured my father, and I don’t mean a little bit either?”

  No, he hadn’t. The guilt of that tore at him every time he looked at her and saw how much she loved her father.

  Nor had he forgotten his own list of ills against her. “You stabbed me. You bit me until I bled, and you invaded Noir’s sanctum to free a god Noir wanted questioned. Had I not taken you prisoner when I did, he would have nailed you to the wall and eaten your entrails. Trust me, you would never have gotten Solin out of there in one piece. And you would still be there, begging for someone to kill you.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she said angrily, “a little touché there, but—”

  “There’s no but. Yes … I am pissed off that you’re a jackal. I can’t stand them. But that’s not why I’m mad.”

  “Why, then?”

  “You, who have done nothing but lecture me on trust, didn’t trust me with the truth. You withheld it, and you purposefully hid it.” Because she had thought of him as less than human.

  Less than caring.

  That was what stung him deepest of all.

  He didn’t deserve that. Not from her. Not after all he’d done to protect her. “I thought…”

  No, he wouldn’t say it. There was no need. Her actions told him everything he needed to know.

  “Thought what?” she asked when he didn’t finish.

  “Nothing.” Seth started away and then stopped as his anger mounted to a level so high, it blinded his vision. He wanted to lash out and sting her as deeply as she’d kicked him. “No, it is something.”

  He raked her with a sneer. “I thought you saw me. But you’re just like everyone else. I’m nothing but an animal to you and that’s all I’ll ever be. Something to be feared or kicked or caged or put down.”

  But never kept.

  Never trusted.

  Never loved.

  Seth winced at the bitter truth. “All of you think that I can’t con
trol myself. That I’m…” he caught himself before he said the one thing he thought of himself.

  … my father. Incapable of feeling or caring.

  His adoptive father had said that so many times. There’s something not right with that one. You can never trust the gods or their by-blows. They’re tricky, sneaky bastards. And they’d all mistrusted him when he’d given them no reason to.

  Just like her.

  Looking back, he wasn’t surprised that he’d been sold at thirteen. He was only surprised now that they’d kept him that long.

  But he’d expected better from Lydia. He didn’t know why. Not when everyone else had kicked him.

  Still, he’d hoped.

  And yet again, he’d learned better.

  She reached for him, but he wouldn’t let her touch him and weaken his anger. Not this time. He needed it to keep from being hurt any worse. Anger might not be worth much, but at least it kept him warm when nothing else did. And it kept him safe, cocooned away from the world and from being around those who lied to him.

  Tears glistened in her eyes. Something that kicked him in the groin with steel spikes. “I never treated you like an animal.”

  “Didn’t you? In the beginning, did you not set out to tame me?”

  She sputtered indignantly. “No, not exactly.”

  “No or not exactly? Which is it?”

  “It’s both.” Her cheeks darkened as her temper kicked in to match his. “Okay? I’ll admit that. I didn’t know you then. And do you not own a mirror? Have you seen what you look like when you’re painted up and standing nine thousand feet tall with this gigantic aura of I-hate-everything-around-me? You know, you’re just not real approachable like that, buddy. That whole fuck-off-and-die attitude you’ve armor-plated yourself with tends to unnerve people. Excuse me for feeling the very thing you were striving to make me feel. You’re a little too good at it. Maybe if you’d learn how to smile once in a while it might help. Certainly couldn’t hurt. So yes, in the beginning, I did bite you and I was trying to win you over to my side. But then, I did see you. I did.”

  “And yet you still fear me, don’t you?”

  Lydia pressed her lips together as she debated how to answer. “What do you want me to say?”

  “I want the truth.”

  “Fine then. Yes. There’s still a part of me that’s scared of you. I’ll admit it. I’ve seen where you’ve lived and what’s been done to you. Horrors like that take their toll. They have to. You can’t walk through hell and not be scarred by it. And while I’ve seen the good in you, I’ve seen the worst. The worst does terrify me. So given all of that, I decided to listen to Jaden’s advice and not tell you I’m a jackal. I didn’t want you to lash out and hurt me for something I can’t help.”

  But it was okay that she’d just done that to him.

  Because she didn’t see the man in front of her.

  She only saw Noir’s mindless slave. The animal Noir had made him. She didn’t think enough of him to believe that he could have his own sense of right and wrong. That he could walk through hell, and while he was definitely scarred from it, he was still whole.

  Still worth something.

  Yes, there were times when the scars opened and he bled anew … like now.

  But he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t lash out at anyone without reason.

  And he’d never once lashed out at her. She had no reason to doubt him.

  Yet she did.

  There’s something not right with that one. You can never trust the gods or their by-blows. They’re tricky, sneaky bastards.

  But it wasn’t just the gods.

  It was everyone. All beings served their own agenda. No good deed was served without them expecting something back in return.

  And he was through being hurt and kicked for no reason. “You know, I’m really not as stupid as everyone thinks. I am. I can tell the difference between you and the jackals who fucked me over … But then maybe not. Because right now, I’m thinking what you’ve done cuts me a whole lot deeper than what they did.”

  I expected better from you.

  Seth headed out of the nearest set of doors he could find. He had no destination, other than to get as far away from her as he could.

  I can’t believe I was so stupid. After everything he’d risked for her. She still didn’t trust him.

  Why do I bother?

  “Maybe I should just go back to Noir,” he breathed.

  At least in Azmodea, he knew the rules and they never changed.

  There, he knew how to protect himself.

  Yeah, okay, so he sucked at it, but he knew what to do to not get thrown through a wall. There, he saw the punches coming and he decided beforehand if he wanted them or not.

  But here …

  It was a minefield where he was assaulted when he least expected it. And the blows Lydia gave him hurt so much more than the worst torture Noir could devise.

  “Seth?”

  Why did the sound of his name on her lips weaken him so? He didn’t want to stop or turn around.

  But he couldn’t walk away. Not from her.

  Against his will, he paused and waited for her to run up to him.

  Lydia slowed down as she reached his side. He stood as proud and powerful as ever with that mop of riotous curls softening a countenance that was as deadly as it was beautiful. All of her life, she’d dreamed of finding someone who made her feel the way he did.

  Someone who could make her laugh when she shouldn’t, and who would talk to her about absolutely nothing. Someone she could sit with and not speak for hours, and that would be okay, too.

  Most of all, she’d dreamed of a man who made her feel beautiful when he looked at her. Not with words. But with the light in his eyes that would shine only for her.

  The tenderness in his touch.

  Who would have ever dreamed that man would be Seth?

  She moved to stand in front of him, but he still wouldn’t look at her. The way he bounced his gaze around to look at anything else would be funny, if she didn’t care about his pain.

  But she did.

  “I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. Not now. In the beginning, yes. But…” She braced herself for whatever off-the-wall reaction he might have. “I love you, Seth. I just wanted you to know that.”

  Seth froze as he heard the last thing he’d ever expected someone else to say to him. The one thing no one ever had. “What?”

  “I love you. And only you.”

  He stared at her in total disbelief as those words echoed in his heart. Were they true?

  Did he dare hope or believe that they were?

  How should he react? He honestly didn’t know. A multitude of indecipherable emotions exploded through him all at once, paralyzing him.

  She looked at him expectantly. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

  What? What was he supposed to say? Nothing in his screwed up past had ever coached him on how to deal with something like this. Pain he could handle. Contempt he was well versed in. Insults rolled right over him.

  But love …

  What did someone do with that?

  Lydia waited for some kind of response, but all he did was stand there, eyes wide, like a statue that strangely made her think he was waiting for a pigeon to come crap-bomb him.

  Suddenly, he started looking around again. At the sky, the yard, behind them, in front of them. Everywhere.

  “What are you doing?” she asked with a light lauth at his strange behavior.

  He leaned toward her to whisper in an awed tone. “I’m looking for something bad to happen.”

  She frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “You can’t love me. No one does.” The sincerity in his voice and expression was heart-wrenching. He truly couldn’t fathom anyone caring about him.

  Not even her.

  Laughing, she pulled him into her arms so that she could bury her hand in the curls at the nape of his neck and hold him close. “You silly man. O
f course I can love you.”

  Seth wrapped his arms around her, stunned and shocked, as she swayed him back and forth. He couldn’t even begin to sort through his rapid-fire emotions right now.

  But at the bottom of it all was an equal amount of euphoria …

  And holy ranking terror.

  What did people do when they loved each other? He tried to remember the few years he’d lived with the jackals, but it’d been too long ago, and he’d banished all those memories to the darkest part of his mind.

  Now he trod a whole new landscape where nothing was familiar. The only thing that kept him grounded was the woman in his arms who’d rocked his entire existence.

  The woman he would die for.

  “What does this mean, Lydia?”

  Lydia smiled up at him as she finally understood his bizarre question. For a man with so much worldly experience and a thorough understanding of the worst things in the universe, in many ways, he was like a small child who was baffled by a simple act of kindness.

  “Well, when people love each other, they usually make a commitment to each other … or the man runs for the door in stark, raving terror.”

  His look turned to steel. “I don’t run from anything.”

  “I know, sweetie.” She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss the stern frown from his brow. “It’s one of the things I love most about you.” She held her hand up with the sign she’d taught him in bed. “This is how you say ‘I love you’ in my language.”

  He duplicated the gesture and laid his hand against hers like they’d done earlier. The unspoken happiness in his gaze set her heart pounding even faster.

  “How do you say it in ancient Egyptian?”

  He actually had to think about it. Something that made her eyes water as she realized why he had to struggle to remember. After a few seconds, he shrugged. “I don’t know. I never heard those words said together.”

  She sniffed back her tears. “You will always, always hear them from me. Every day. I promise.” Lydia’s gaze dropped to his neck where she’d planned to kiss him, but something else caught her attention.

  Was that …

  No. Was it?

  Standing on her tiptoes again, she pulled the neck piece of his armor down so that she could get a better view and double-check what it was she thought she saw.