Fire & Gasoline: A Shifter Romance (Audax Pack Book 1)

by Colette Rhodes

  I wouldn’t be challenging him for Alpha any time soon.

  Dad strolled over to the study door, leaning out slightly to call for Miles and his father, Joe. He didn’t yell — he didn’t need to, they’d hear him. Dad lowered himself into the armchair opposite me, leaning back with his elbows resting on the arms of the chair and fingers steepled in front of him. It was a posture meant to intimidate, to put me in my place as the lesser ranking wolf I was.

  Archer’s Dad had left the building. The man in front of me was all Alpha Ellery.

  Miles and Joe entered the room a few minutes later, pulling the door shut behind them. Miles took in the scene in front of him, and I caught a whiff of his nervousness.

  “Miles. Join Archer on the couch,” Dad said, his eyes still on me. Joe silently took up his usual position at Dad’s back, standing slightly to his right side. It was definitely a power play to sit us together in front of him. This wasn’t a conversation, it was an interrogation.

  “How has it come to be that Archer has met his fated mate but has no traces of her or a claim on him?” Dad pondered out loud. Joe’s eyes narrowed on Miles and guilt churned uneasily in my stomach.

  “I haven’t met her,” I ground out, annoyed that I was being forced into this conversation, and doubly annoyed that Miles was suffering because of it. “I just...know who she is.”

  “You haven’t sought her out? How long have you known?” Dad asked, more perplexed than angry.

  “A couple of months,” I said evasively. Dad let out a low growl that raised my hackles. “Why does it matter if I put off claiming her for a bit longer? I’ve been keeping an eye on her, and she’s not going anywhere.”

  Miles stiffened next to me and shot me a disapproving look.

  “Don’t be so selfish,” Dad snapped, and I reeled at his tone. He’d never directed his anger at me before. “This isn’t just some girl, some acquaintance, you can screw around with — she’s the other half of your soul, the one the Fates have created for you, as they designed you for her. Screw this up and you could do irreparable damage to the bond before it’s even in place.”

  The vein in his forehead was protruding so far, I was worried it would burst.

  “Not to mention the damage you could be doing to the girl.” Dad paused his tirade to take a deep breath. “What if she needs you? What if she’s suffering without you? You should also be thinking about your pack. She’s their future Luna,” Dad ranted, standing up to pace behind the armchair. Joe moved discreetly to the back of the room, giving my dad space.

  Shame prickled down the back of my neck. Wren did need me. I’d gleaned that my mysterious mate was independent as hell and never relied on anyone for anything. But she also worked long hours, her clothes were too thin, and her eyes screamed exhaustion. In dealing with my shit, I’d all but disregarded her needs as well as my pack’s, and the effect my mating would have on them.

  “She didn’t seek me out either,” I replied, though it was a weak defense. Wren was on her own, surrounded by humans. She may have been uncomfortable approaching two wolves.

  Joe cleared his throat, and my dad stopped his pacing to listen to him. “Wren’s mother is Heather Calvin. Or she was a Calvin; she’s mated now of course.”

  Dad groaned. “So she’s probably never heard of a fated mate.”

  “What?” I swear the ground dropped out from under me. “How is that possible?”

  “Heather Calvin was the Alpha’s daughter at the Fortis Pack, we came across her a few times when we were younger at Council events,” Joe explained uncomfortably.

  “She ran away when she was sixteen and ended up involved with the Azymus Pack in California. It was a big scandal. The Alpha’s son, Daniel Calvin, ended up challenging his father and taking over the pack. His parents were grieving Heather’s disappearance, they couldn’t keep up their duties.”

  Miles made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Fates. We had no relationship with the Azymus Pack. They reckoned they’d found some enlightened approach to mating and pack hierarchy, and that we — and most other packs — were barbarians.

  An ugly feeling crawled over my skin. Wren could do better than me. She deserved a mate who didn’t fuck around.

  It was a crying shame that I would never let her go.

  Dad’s phone started beeping, and he silenced it after a quick glance. “I have to go. It’s time for me to check on my mate. You know, my beautiful, fated lover, and best friend who has been my constant companion these past twenty-two years. The woman who I am privileged to support in her time of need as she always did for me.”

  He strode out of the room without a backwards glance. Dad’s words found their mark. They made me question everything I’d ever assumed about myself. Was I fit to be Alpha one day and take care of an entire pack when I’d ignored my soulmate? When I’d put my wants and desires above those of the pack?

  Joe heaved a sigh and gave me a long look.

  “Say whatever it is you want to say, I’m sure I deserve it,” I groused.

  “Tobias assured us we didn’t need to worry about Wren Marques because they had invited her to spend time with the Fortis Pack over winter break and were hoping to convince her to stay permanently.”

  “What the fuck?” I growled, exploding out of my seat.

  “We don’t know that she’ll go, her wolf is probably riding her like crazy too,” Miles cut in, speaking in a soothing tone.

  I wasn’t confident about that. Or maybe she didn’t give a flying fuck because that’s how it felt most of the time. I mean, yes, she looked tired, but she didn’t look like she was pining.

  “Besides, what would you care if she decided to join the Fortis Pack? It’s not like you’ve expressed any interest in claiming her before,” he added bitterly.

  “That’s not true,” I growled. I hadn't expressed an interest in claiming her, but I had expressed an interest in her.

  “Sort it out,” Joe sighed. “I need to run perimeter checks. The pack is expecting you both here for the feast.”

  The warning in his voice was clear. Be there.

  I walked over to the bar and poured myself and Miles a generous glass of whiskey. He’d take it as the peace offering I intended it to be.

  “How much do you know about the Azymus Pack?” Miles asked hesitantly. His knowledge of other packs was almost encyclopedic.

  “Tell me everything you know. Fates knows I’ll need every tool I can get my hands on to fix this mess.”

  “Your mess,” Miles pointed out, gratefully accepting the whiskey.

  “My mess,” I agreed, pacing the same steps that my father had a few moments ago.

  “You’re not gonna like it, man.” Miles sighed. “The Azymus Pack is big on arranged matings and they isolate themselves from any packs who don’t prescribe to the same theories. They’re super wealthy though, so whatever brought Wren to Carson to work brutal shifts at a coffee shop… it can’t be good.

  “Usually wolves born into packs like that don’t leave. They grow up and go into matings arranged for alliances or territory between like-minded packs.”

  I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. She couldn’t already be mated — her scent wouldn’t have called to me if she was, and there was no claiming mark. Did they try to push her into an arranged mating? Had she been in danger this whole time?

  The idea of not being surrounded by fated couples was foreign to me. The Audax Pack members traveled far and wide for the opportunity to meet the one person the Fates had deemed theirs.

  “Anything else?” I asked through clenched teeth.

  Miles gave me an appraising look. “No other hard facts. I’ve been running perimeter checks most nights and I don’t think she’s let her wolf out since she arrived in Carson.”

  “If she’s been avoiding me for whatever reason, she may not want to risk giving control to her wolf,” I pointed out. It was why I hadn’t shifted in weeks. My wolf would hunt her down the second I gave him the chance.
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  “Perhaps,” Miles mused. “Or if she’s a lone wolf now, she may be concerned about going feral. Or worried we’d fight her for territory. Lone shifters have tough existences.”

  I blew out a long breath and took a swig of whiskey. “I have to go back to campus, I can’t stay here all of winter break with this hanging over my head. I need to talk to her. If she’s not at her house, I’ll drive to Fortis Pack lands.”

  “We can’t leave the night of the feast on a wild goose chase. We can’t,” he reiterated when my growling intensified. “The pack would see it as an insult. Stay for the celebration, and we’ll head out straight after.”

  I scraped my hand over my face. Logically, I knew he was right. The pack would be offended if I bailed before the Tiberinus feast. They might be more understanding if I returned with my mate, but I doubted it would be that simple. If the Fates had got it right, if she really was a dominant future Luna…

  She’d probably make a throw rug out of my fur when she found out what I’d done. At least I could keep her warm from the grave.

  Chapter 8

  Wren

  My fingers flexed, palms sliding against the silky sheets as I tested the grip he had on my hands. He growled, his muscular chest rumbling against my back, his body covering mine. Pinning me. Sheltering me. His thrusts were slow, almost lazy, but every movement was precisely controlled. I moaned, trying to buck up against him, but I couldn’t move an inch in this position, by design. He wanted me to take only what he’d give me. To be patient and make my reward all the sweeter.

  “Harder,” I breathed. He nipped my shoulder with his teeth, hard enough to leave a mark. I almost sobbed at how good it felt.

  His hands curled over mine, our fingers still intertwined. It felt intimate. It was intimate. I’d exposed my back. His teeth grazed against the juncture of my neck, yet I felt no fear. Just exquisite, agonizing desire.

  Fucking him was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Or I should say, him fucking me while I lay here gratefully accepting everything he was giving me at his own pace. Why didn’t that frustrate me more?

  I was so wet, I could feel it on my thighs. I wasn’t embarrassed, though. If anything, I was proud. I knew how much he appreciated my responsiveness.

  “Madison! You better be packing!” Ella’s frustrated yell cut through my delicious dream. I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to get my breathing under control. I sounded like I was having an asthma attack.

  Fates, that was an intense one. The dreams weren’t a new thing, but they were getting increasingly… cozy. They were still sexy, but they weren’t just sex.

  I didn’t want to think too hard about that. I didn’t need to resort to interpreting my dreams to know I was lonely.

  “MADISON!” Ella bellowed. It worked better than an ice-cold shower. I climbed out of bed, pulling a hoodie and woolen socks over my pajamas.

  Busy. I needed to keep myself busy. Fortunately, I’d stopped by the grocery store to prepare for this very scenario. I piled my hair up in a messy bun and made my way down to the kitchen to take out my feelings on some innocent baked goods.

  Winter break had been weird all round. I’d had more time off work than I was used to, which meant more time in my head. It was a place I did my best to avoid as much as possible.

  I’d taken a few days off work to visit the Fortis Pack and meet these supposed grandparents of mine, but every time I thought about going, my wolf tried to rip me to shreds from the inside. In the past, she’d always pushed me to leave wherever I’d settled, I didn’t understand why she was so attached to Carson.

  Especially when there was a pack that might be willing to take me, given the family connection. Perhaps it had been so long, she’d forgotten what it meant to be part of a pack.

  I spread out around the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients for sugar cookies. Baking wasn’t my strong suit, and shifters didn’t celebrate Christmas, but Christmas cookies were a tradition I could get on board with.

  I’d done nothing but cook in my off time. Two hours passed in a blur as I obsessed over the exact shape of the cookies and the shade of icing I wanted to use. Red and green? No, too obvious. Maybe white and silver. If I was focused on baking, I wasn’t thinking about my dinner with Tobias, or the jacket that had mysteriously turned up, or the wolves on campus that were avoiding me, or my mother’s email, or my wolf’s weird behavior.

  “Wren? We have to head out now,” Madison called, leaning against the doorjamb. “Are you sure you won’t come home with us? Our parents wouldn’t mind and we’ll be so sad without you. I’ll be the most sad.”

  “Go, spend some time with your family. Take some cookies with you,” I replied, gesturing at the tower of containers on the counter and letting a little command seep into my voice. My patience was paper thin, and I needed to put some emotional distance between all the humans who were angling for a place in my non-existent pack and myself.

  “Wow, are you sure? Thanks, Wren. Our family will love these. You’re so talented,” she gushed, grabbing four boxes. The tree-shaped cookies had turned out particularly nicely. “We can come back if you change your mind, just call us. Whenever you want.”

  “Enjoy the break,” I replied with a tight smile. Cam had left straight after exams finished and I was eager for some time in the house alone.

  Fortunately, Cam had a natural lone-wolf disposition and didn’t require much encouragement to leave. The girls had needed hours of assurance that it was okay for them to go home. A good pack didn’t leave members on their own. They were worried about me.

  “You too, Wren. We’ll call you! We’ll miss you! Let us know if you change your mind!” Ella yelled as she slammed the front door behind them, making me wince. Humans were so unnecessarily loud.

  I needed some peace and quiet to think. To figure out what to do.

  How could I visit Fortis Pack if my wolf was holding me hostage in Carson?

  It was already too late to take a bus to get there in time for the feast tonight. Part of me was relieved that decision had been taken out of my hands. I was tempted to go — curiosity about these mysterious grandparents of mine had occupied my mind all day — but I felt weird joining in some pack’s celebration when I didn’t know them.

  Besides, maybe it wasn’t a big deal to them to discover another grandkid, but meeting them was a huge deal for me. I wanted our first interaction to be something more sedate than a drunken feast. Alcohol brought out the worst in both humans and wolves. While Tobias seemed sane and normal, my mother was a bitch and I didn’t have all that much faith in the people who had raised her.

  I boxed up an enormous container of the best-looking cookies just in case my wolf chilled out enough for me to take my grandparents up on their offer, and leaned my hip against the counter, flexing my fingers to ease the cramp from holding the piping bag.

  Maybe her hesitation stemmed from imposter syndrome. I couldn’t keep pretending to be a human on pack territory.

  After two years denying my wolf, I wasn’t sure how she’d respond to being around a pack. She’d been morose today. While living in Carson had settled something in her, it had also made her moodier than she’d ever been before.

  The silence of the house seemed to echo around me. When was I ever home alone for more than a couple of hours? It had never happened since I left Azymus Pack. I moved through the house and let myself out onto the front porch. After the mad rush of cars leaving town this morning, the streets were uncommonly quiet. It was a sweet relief and entirely unsettling. There were always humans around.

  I didn’t put much stock in the Fates, but maybe they were on my side for once. Maybe this was them giving me an opportunity.

  Giving my wolf an opportunity.

  I waited until it got dark before slipping out of the house, wearing a pair of black leggings, a long black hoodie, and black ballet flats. I’d be freezing in my skin, but the less stuff I had to carry, the better. I wasn't entirely sure this was
the right decision, but it seemed like an inevitable one.

  Carson was quieter than it ever had been, with so many students out of town for winter break. There was a wooded area on the other side of campus that would definitely be deserted this time of night, especially in this weather.

  I could totally do this. It would be fine. She'd let me come back.

  Silently, I moved among the trees, going as deep into the forested area as I could. The ground was covered in a blanket of snow. It felt like slush under my feet, easily soaking through my thin ballet shoes. It didn’t really snow in Carson like I thought it would, which was kind of disappointing, though it made the air feel fresh and crisp. The trees weren’t as dense as I would have liked, and the moonlight reflecting off the snowy ground made me feel even more exposed, but I couldn’t scent anyone outside. It would have to do.

  Stripping out of my clothes, I folded them neatly in a pile at the base of a tree and took a few calming breaths, trying to ignore the guilt that was clawing at my insides. No matter how justified I felt my actions were, I’d been my wolf’s jailer for the past two years, keeping her locked away because it suited me.

  I encouraged my wolf to rise to the surface and for the first time in a long time; I didn’t fight her. I cringed as my bones broke and shifted into place, gritting my teeth against the now unfamiliar pain. My jaw ached as it extended, my scalp prickling as long hair morphed into short fur. As quickly as it began, the pain stopped. My sharpened vision took in the surrounding trees from a much lower vantage point.

  My wolf was relieved as I sat back and ceded control, but her melancholy mood didn’t abate. She gave the trees a cursory sniff, before trotting through the woods with an apparent goal in mind. I didn’t try to take over, she’d earned a little time in the driver’s seat, and we were still well hidden for now.

  She sniffed at trees and patches of ground as she went, picking up the scent of the other two wolves who lived in Carson. There was no growling, no displays of territorialism. Her apathy made me anxious. What had Tobias called those wolves? The Audax wolves? Maybe I should have asked him about them at dinner. He’d seemed surprised that they hadn’t contacted me.