Fire & Gasoline: A Shifter Romance (Audax Pack Book 1)

by Colette Rhodes

  “Happy,” Dad replied, eyes filled with pain. “She’s a happy wolf, mostly. Lonely sometimes, when she’s on her own too long. That’s why I told Joe and Claudia. They spend time with her too. Flynn and I can’t do it all.”

  “Dad—”

  “I don’t say that to guilt you into coming home, son. It’s just a fact. The Rubios have been a big help. Claudia has been excellent with your mother.”

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak when my throat felt so thick. Miles’ mom was awesome. She and my mom had been best friends for two decades. She’d take care of Mom.

  “I’ve already told the pack we’re going ahead with the feast tonight, they were devastated that I canceled it last night.”

  “I hated leaving her,” I admitted to Dad. “She seemed so lonely.”

  “I’ll stay with Mom, you guys go to the feast,” Flynn volunteered, already pulling off his jacket. Dad nodded solemnly. My baby brother shifted, and I felt another pang in my chest at seeing the man life had forced him into becoming before his time. While I’d been fucking around, living the high life at school, he’d been here, helping. Looking after Mom. Being the responsible one.

  Fates, I was a prick. I vowed to do better by all of them — Mom, Dad, Flynn.

  And Wren.

  Dad and I entered the pack dining hall to cheers and applause. Most of the pack members were already drunk, which helped. Our entrance this year was nothing like our entrance last year as a family of four. I was barely in the door when Claudia shoved a bottle of wine in my hand, giving me a harried smile.

  I’d never found it so difficult to be around my pack. Usually, being near them brought me peace and settled my wolf, but tonight it was excruciating. I wanted to get to Wren. I needed to know that she was okay.

  But I couldn’t leave, because I had a responsibility to my pack. This was one of the most important pack traditions, we’d already put it off once.

  I pasted on a forced grin as I made my way down the rows of tables, topping up everyone’s wine and fake laughing along at their good-natured ribbing. Dad and Joe were moving between the tables, distributing meat, while Miles and Claudia passed out bread rolls. One of the most important traditions of the feast was that the highest ranking members of the pack served everyone else.

  I could hear Dad putting out the flimsy excuse that Mom wasn’t feeling well, and that Flynn was staying behind to look after her, relying on word of mouth to pass the news around. It was technically the truth, though Flynn was more of a playmate than a nursemaid.

  “Audax wolves!” My father called over the ruckus, standing in the center of the room instead of at his usual spot at the head of the table. “Welcome to the annual Tiberinus feast, to honor the god that rescued our descendents, Romulus and Remus, from the Tiber River. Thank you to everyone who worked hard in the kitchens today to make this happen.”

  I grimaced internally. The food sucked this year. Mom had always put on an amazing Tiberinus feast. The wolves in the kitchen were lost without her.

  “And don’t forget to say hello to our scholars, who have joined us for winter break.” The excited howls and stamping feet of the pack cut off Dad’s less than enthusiastic welcome home.

  “Eat! Drink! Enjoy one another’s company!” Dad bellowed over the roaring crowd, holding up one of the heavy goblets we pulled out for particularly rowdy parties.

  “To the Audax Pack!”

  “Audax Pack!” I echoed with the other two hundred wolves in the room. The sentiment felt hollow for the first time in my life. My wolf felt detached from the pack. His pack was first and foremost with his mate.

  I sat myself between Kye, Flynn’s best friend whose mate Zoe was on his other side, and Louisa Scriven, the mother of one of our centurions on my right.

  “How’s school, Archer?” Louisa asked cheerfully. “Wyatt would have loved to go to college, if it had been available to him when he was younger.”

  I tuned out, having heard this exact speech every time I visited over the past couple of years. It wasn’t even true. Wyatt was the least bookish person I’d ever met. He was practically mated to his job as a centurion — probably because at thirty-five; he hadn’t found his fated mate yet.

  “Girl problems?” Kye asked, leaning in close so we couldn’t be overheard.

  “What gives you that idea?” I asked, a little taken off guard. He was only sixteen, but the kid was way more of a love expert than me. He worshipped the ground Zoe walked on.

  “The look on your face.” He shrugged. “Is she your fated mate?”

  I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Fuck it. I wanted to talk about this.

  “Yeah.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I’m going to go after her after the feast. It won’t go well.”

  “Did you mess up?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “I messed up.”

  Kye nodded his head solemnly. “You’re the most alpha wolf I know aside from your dad, Archer. It’ll be tough for you.”

  “What will?”

  “Humbling yourself. She’ll never forgive you until you do.”

  I mulled over his words as I pushed the grayish brown chunk of dry steak around my plate. Everything in me bristled at the idea of humbling myself for anyone. Dad had drilled into me my entire life the importance of demonstrating strength at all times. No one respected an Alpha who showed weakness. Wren was a Luna, I doubted she’d respect weakness either.

  “I do hope your mother feels better soon,” Louisa said wistfully. “We miss her so much.” The sincerity was pouring off her as she nuzzled slightly into my side, seeking comfort as she thought of her Luna. Discomfort prodded at me. Hiding Mom’s condition felt wrong, deceitful.

  Mom would hate it.

  “Arch? Ready to get on the road?” Miles' voice cut through my uncomfortable thoughts. I’d barely touched the food on my plate, but looking down at the charred mess, I wasn’t that upset about it.

  “You’re leaving?” Louisa asked, a slight whine in her voice that was all wolf. My pack mates around the table made similarly distressed noises.

  “Miles and I need to head back to Carson,” I announced to the surrounding wolves, keeping my tone as soothing as possible. “I wish we could stay longer, but this can’t wait. We’ll come back home for another visit as soon as we can.”

  We walked through the rows of tables, hands reaching out to stroke at our arms or heads nuzzling against us as we went. Both leaving their scent on us and drawing strength from our presence.

  “Son.” Dad was waiting by the exit with Joe on his right. “Joe has some news for you.”

  “I checked in with Tobias Perry about how things were going with the she-wolf they’d discovered living in Carson,” Joe began. Fuck, I swear I forgot how to breathe for a second. “He said we didn’t need to worry, she was on Fortis Pack territory now.”

  “Then that’s where we’re going,” I said with way more confidence than I felt. This didn’t bode particularly well for me. Maybe there was something between her and Tobias.

  I wouldn’t have even been able to leave Carson if my dad hadn’t Alpha commanded me. She didn’t seem to be struggling with this nearly as much as I was.

  “I’m sure I need not stress to you the importance of diplomacy on this trip. The Fortis Pack has always been allies of ours. I intend to keep it that way.”

  I inclined my head. “That goes without saying.”

  Dad pursed his lips, glancing past me at the tables of celebrating pack members. “You’ve got to get this right, Arch.”

  “No one wants to get it right more than I do, Dad.” I wasn’t sure if I would, but I was damn well going to give it my best shot. Miles and I had never visited another pack without one or both of our dads around to supervise, nor had we ever represented our pack at a Council event on our own.

  Dad gave me a long look before he and Joe stepped aside for Miles and I to pass. It was a weird moment. Not quite a changing of the guard, but more like a glimpse into t
he future. Despite whatever reservations my dad had about my judgment, he was trusting me to do this.

  Once outside, we stripped and shifted to get down the mountain as quickly as possible. Now we were heading towards Wren, rather than away from her, I had no qualms about letting my wolf out. He’d make sure we got there. He was desperate to know she was okay.

  We practically flew down the mountainside, paws barely touching the dirt as we leaped over rocks and fallen logs, our wolves racing one another. I beat Miles by a hair, as always, and quickly shifted back to pull on the clothes I’d carried in my teeth.

  “I’ll beat you one day,” Miles grumbled, pulling on his jeans.

  “Maybe in a race,” I conceded because he was fucking fast. “Never in a fight, though.”

  “Fair,” Miles agreed.

  “How long is the drive to Fortis Pack?”

  “Roughly nine hours,” Miles replied easily, having already done all the research. He was going to make a phenomenal Beta. Maybe I should tell him that sometime.

  Nine hours? I’d never seen Wren drive. Neither she nor her roommates owned a car.

  “How long on a bus?” I blanched, thinking of Wren traveling so far in such an uncomfortable mode of transport, surrounded by humans.

  “Over ten, at least. With multiple transfers,” Miles admitted uneasily, giving me another disapproving look. He’d been full of those lately.

  “What are you going to do if she doesn’t want to see you?” Miles asked curiously as I put the truck into gear, blasting the headlights into the pitch-black night.

  “I know for a fact she doesn’t want to see me,” I chuckled. “Whatever happens in the next couple of days will be the start of a long journey to convincing her I’m not a total prick.”

  “Just sort of a prick,” Miles agreed mildly. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. His face hadn’t lost that grim determination he’d worn since we’d first realized my fated mate was on campus, but there was a desolate edge to it now.

  “You’re jealous,” I guessed.

  “Wren is your mate,” Miles clarified quickly. “I just wish I knew where mine was. If she’s alive, even. If she’s okay. Whether she’s looking for me too. I know you think I’m a bleeding heart romantic, but I’ve never been ashamed about wanting the one female in the world who was made for me.”

  Shame slithered uncomfortably down my spine. If Wren had been his, she’d already be living in our house with a claiming mark on her neck. I wasn’t accustomed to second-guessing my choices, but with Wren, I questioned everything I’d ever done. It was an unwelcome feeling.

  “So, you think she’ll claw your face off?” Miles asked casually, breaking the tense silence.

  I snorted. “I have a feeling she’s more likely to ignore me.” My wolf bristled. Neither of us would cope well with being dismissed.

  “Ah, so you’re going to get all up in her space and antagonize her until she acknowledges you,” Miles said sagely, nodding his head.

  “Hell yes, I am.”

  Chapter 10

  Wren

  I’d boarded a bus at the crack of dawn to take me to Huntingdon, the human town closest to Fortis Pack territory. I wasn’t prepared to sleep on their territory. I definitely didn’t know them well enough to make myself vulnerable around them. My experiences with packs had been limited to the fuckery of the Azymus Pack, and all the shifters who had harassed me since then. Expectations were low.

  Even lower for my wolf apparently, because the further we’d gotten from Carson, the more distraught she’d become. I spent the bus ride curled up on the back seat of the bus, tucked into a corner, hugging my knees to my chest.

  She was heartbroken. I didn’t know how to help her, how to pull myself out of this predicament I’d found myself in. My throat burned and ached with the pressure of keeping the tears at bay, and I wasn’t even sure why I wanted to cry.

  Something was very wrong with me. Something that was getting worse day by day.

  It was early evening when I got off at the bus stop in Huntingdon and followed directions on my phone to the one motel, which backed onto a forest. This whole excursion was seriously eating into my savings.

  The motel was kind of grim and the walls were so thin I could hear the cleaning lady breathing on the other side, but it was only for two nights. Maybe more, depending on how things went. I hadn’t planned to go to pack territory until tomorrow, but hanging around in the motel was super unappealing.

  I pulled up Tobias’ number that he’d insisted I take when we met for dinner.

  Wren:

  Hey, I’m in Huntingdon, at the Sunrise Motel. Are my grandparents around tonight?

  Tobias:

  Sure. I’ll come and get you from the motel now.

  Wren:

  Thx

  Tobias:

  uR WeLCoMe

  I snorted. Maybe Tobias and I could be friends. He seemed nice. I liked the idea of having a shifter friend.

  It took twenty minutes for Tobias to show up in his enormous Jeep, disapproval written all over his face as he scanned the motel parking lot.

  “You know we, at the Fortis Pack, do in fact have beds?” Tobias asked dryly, shooting another disgruntled look at the motel in the rearview mirror.

  I snorted. “How very civilized of you.”

  “You don’t have to stay here,” he pressed.

  “I know.” I shot him a wry smile from the passenger seat. “Wolf packs and I have a contentious history. You should be impressed I’m even here. I am.”

  “I’m very impressed,” Tobias replied with a solemn nod that made me giggle. “It’s only a fifteen minute drive to the territory from here. Once you know the way and the centurions have your scent, you could shift out the back of the motel and cut through the woods.”

  I frowned thoughtfully. That could be fun. Maybe my wolf would perk up if she got to run a little. She was still in a maudlin mood, but the closer we got to pack territory and other wolves, the more alert she became.

  The drive was not nearly as awkward as I expected. Tobias made a point of telling me all about the land and the history of it as we crossed the guarded border. He was trying to sell me on the Fortis Pack, and it was sort of working. For me, anyway. Less so for Wolf Wren. She was a tough customer.

  All this talk about me staying was premature. They’d yet to see how dominant my wolf was. Once they did, they might not be so keen on having me in their pack. My wolf didn’t take direction well from others.

  “We’re here,” Tobias announced unnecessarily as he turned off the dirt driveway into a clearing full of heavy-duty vehicles. Beyond the makeshift parking lot was a collection of impressive stone buildings, dominated by one enormous three-story behemoth in the middle.

  “Fancy,” I said lightly, opening the door and dropping softly to the ground. The sun was setting, pack members rushing between buildings as they prepared for dinner. I caught my mother’s name as a hushed whisper more than once as pack members caught my scent. I couldn't imagine her as someone who would incite gossip. My whole life, she’d toed the lines the Alpha had set without question.

  I followed Tobias through the grounds, up to the steps that led up to the main building where two figures were waiting for me.

  “Wren.”

  The older woman in front of me looked at me with so much familiarity it made my heart hurt. Even with my dad’s darker skin, I looked a lot like Mom and I could practically see the woman in front of me walking down memory lane as she took in my features. We didn’t look all that similar — she had pale skin, silver hair worn in a severe bun, and hazel eyes — but I could smell the trace similarities in our scents.

  “My name is Eloise Calvin, this is my mate and your grandfather, George Calvin.”

  The elderly gentleman stood sentry next to his mate, letting her do the introductions but by no means taking the backseat.

  His hair was gray and there were deep lines set in his skin, tanned from what looked like decade
s of sun, but his body was strong and his posture tall. His eyes were the same golden amber as mine, and the similarity brought an unexpected wave of emotion over me. He looked every inch the indomitable Alpha, and my uncle must be a beast of a man if he’d taken George on and won.

  “What a beauty you are, Wren. Just like your mother,” George said kindly, giving me a warm look.

  “Thanks. That’s kind of you to say,” I replied politely. My mother was a coward, I didn’t much care for the comparison.

  “No, it wasn’t,” George chuckled sadly.

  “Have you eaten?” Eloise interjected, gesturing towards the large dining hall behind her. I shook my head, glancing warily at the crowded dining hall.

  “We’ll eat in the Alpha’s quarters,” she said decisively.

  “I’ll have some food sent in,” Tobias said quietly, dipping his head respectfully.

  I fell into step with Eloise as George strode ahead into the building, turning to the right to lead us up a sweeping curved staircase instead of into the large dining hall directly in front of us. “I’m sorry my son isn’t here, he and his mate and their two children are visiting with his mate’s family in Argentina.”

  “He was fine with me being here?” I asked, glancing at her.

  “Of course,” Eloise replied, surprised. “You’re his niece. Daniel and his mate, Valentina, hope they can meet you as soon as possible. Your cousins — Alec and Sadie — are even more excited. They’re a little younger than you at seventeen.”

  George silently led us into a small apartment at the top of the stairs. It had a kitchenette, a four-person dining area and a cozy living room.

  “The Alpha and Luna have a separate family home, but they use this space in the main pack building if they need a break,” George explained, gesturing to the seat opposite him at the little square table. Eloise veered off to the kitchenette, digging around for glasses and pulling out a bottle of red wine before joining us.

  “It’s nice,” I replied, looking around, not entirely sure of what to say. My wolf was curiously quiet, watching the two of them with interest.