My Husband's Girlfriend

by Cydney Rax

“Whatever you say.” I ignore Vette’s rude stare and brush past her so I can go in my house. My spirit is a mixture of joy and anxiety. I am happy Anya was determined to go on her weekend getaway, but I hope she doesn’t get any spontaneous ideas while she’s out trekking through the state of Texas. She’s driving up to Fort Worth to hang out with some girlfriends and will be back Monday.

  When she first told me she was going away and asked if I’d watch Reese and my son, I smiled and told her, “Sure, I’ll baby-sit for you.” She rolled her eyes. When I asked why she did that, she said, “It’s amazing that when the mother is caring for the child, she’s doing her natural-born job, but when a daddy watches the kids, he calls it baby-sitting. Baby-sitting? Are you not the daddy?”

  Flabbergasted, I told her, “Have a good weekend.”

  She said, “No, I will not, and you can’t make me.” But then she burst out laughing. And I knew right then Anya Meadows is one of a kind—most of the time. She’s the type of woman that if you aren’t cautious, you won’t realize what you’ve got until it’s gone.

  Vette trails me into the house. When I walk to the den, she’s there. And when I am craving potato chips and some Snapple and go to the kitchen, she’s right there again.

  “I thought I was the baby-sitter,” I told her.

  “What? You paranoid. I ain’t spying on you, trying to keep up with what your scandalous ass is doing.”

  I grab two bottles of Snapple from the refrigerator.

  “Thanks,” Vette says, and places her hands around one of the bottles.

  “That’s mine, get your own,” I snap.

  “Oh, I thought you were being thoughtful and sweet and kind—”

  “Remember the hot dogs?”

  I grip both Snapples and a few bags of chips and head back to the den.

  “So what are you gonna be doing, Neil?” Vette asks, following me down the hallway. “Bumming? Eating, watching TV, and scratching your butt all weekend?”

  “What if I do?”

  “The front lawn is looking mighty raggedy out there.”

  “If you care so much, you know where the lawn mower is,” I tell her.

  “You are one self-centered, lazy—”

  “Hey, hey, Vette, what have I done to you?” We’re now in the den. “Why are you always up on me? I am not married to you.”

  She waves her hand, as if to say Whatever, and takes a seat on the floor in front of the TV. A Chris Tucker flick is on. She’s sitting so close to the screen that if she moves any closer she’ll be costarring in the movie. Vette starts snickering.

  “Hey, Vette, do you mind? I can’t see with your head in the way.” I am beyond irritated. I imagined myself spending time mostly alone, a rarity, and hanging out with the kids this evening. Dani will bring Brax over later. Riley took Tamika and Reese to the zoo and they should be back soon. Great time to do nothing, but with my sister here, following me with every pace, it’s like I have no justice, and no peace.

  “Why are you here, Vette?”

  “What?” My sister lowers the volume and looks up at me. “You let me come stay with you, remember? You didn’t want me living on the street, living with some guys or even girls, for that matter.”

  “I thought once you got yourself together, you’d be…doing something else.”

  “Oh, am I wearing out my welcome here? Going to school isn’t enough? You want me to get a decent job, right? Or do you feel I’m like your conscience, and if I’m here, you can’t do what you want to do?”

  “Vette, I’m a grown man. I don’t answer to you. I don’t even know why you’d say you’re my conscience. All I have to do is throw you out and all that talk would end, right?”

  She averts her eyes and runs her fingers through her hair.

  “I just wonder whose side you’re on, that’s all, Vette. You’re so wrapped up in my business—”

  “Okay, from now on I won’t be,” she exclaims. “You can do whatever you want, which wouldn’t be anything different. I won’t say a word. Let the chips fall where they may.”

  I sit up in my chair. “You meant that? You won’t go tell Anya any- and everything you think she may want to know?”

  “Nope, never. You’re on your own, kiddo.”

  “Good, thanks. Now, get out so I can watch this movie in peace.”

  “As you wish.”

  She leaves the den, runs up the stairs. I hear a door slam and I laugh to myself. I sip on my juices, eat my chips, break wind as loud as I want, and feel freer than I have in a long time.

  When the doorbell rings a few hours later, Reese runs to open it. I frown, get up, and stagger toward the front of the house.

  “Hey, there. She’s gone, huh? You feeling okay?” Dani smirks and rolls her eyes. “Come get your mini me.”

  I look at the Tacoma. “Why’d you leave the baby in the truck by himself?”

  “Hey, I can’t carry Brax and everything else. Just go get him, please. I think I hear him crying.”

  I go and get the baby. Dani is waiting for us in the foyer. She looks relaxed. She has on some cropped pants and a flowery-looking short-sleeved shirt. And it looks like she’s recently been to the beauty salon—her hair is full of bouncing ringlets that make her look even younger than she does normally.

  I gesture, so she follows me. We retreat to the den and I remove Braxton from his baby prison. I bounce him on my knee a few times, until he gurgles and giggles, and when he starts slobbering, I ask Dani to go to the kitchen and get some paper towels and a bottle of juice.

  She comes back and sits next to me on the couch. Our knees are touching. She reaches across my body to caress Brax softly on his cheek. Then she puts her arm around me and squeezes.

  “Thanks, Dani.” I cough and scoot away. She slides closer to me. I look at her sternly. “Do you mind?”

  She pouts and rolls her eyes.

  “Do you have any limits at all, woman?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I laugh. “I hope you aren’t trying to find out if you have limits or not. Not right now, anyway.”

  “You’re just whipped, that’s all you are.”

  “Don’t go there, Dani. Can we just, uh…never mind. It doesn’t even matter.”

  “Say what you wanted to say, Neil.” She looks in my eyes and we stare at each other for two full minutes. She leans up and tries to press her lips against mine. I move my head away and continue playing with Brax.

  Dani leans against the couch pillows and folds her arms across her chest. She stares around the room. “You’re acting like Mrs. Wifey has surveillance cameras installed in this joint.” Then she yawns and stands up. “Hey, I don’t care that you’re acting weird. I need to go, anyway. I’m supposed to be hanging out with some friends at Club Max’s.”

  “What friends? Why Max’s?”

  She laughs and shrugs. “I don’t know why they chose that club. Maybe to do something radical like, um, having fun with friends.”

  “I didn’t know you had any friends.”

  “Don’t be silly. Everyone has friends, Neil.”

  “Why haven’t you told me about them? Are they males or females?”

  “They’re friends, Neil. Hang-out buddies. To be honest, I haven’t seen these folks in a while, so it’ll be like catching up. Don’t worry. They’re legit.”

  “Legit meaning females?”

  She laughs again and blushes. “You want me to stay here with you?”

  I bounce Brax on my knee.

  “Hey, I’m talking to you, Neil.”

  “Is that why you got your hair done all fancy?”

  “Mmm-hmm, you like it?”

  I stare at her hair and lay Brax on the couch.

  “Don’t do that,” Dani scolds. “He’ll roll over and end up falling on the floor. Strap him in the seat.”

  “He’ll be all right. C’mere, Dani.” I pat the space next to me.

  Dani glances at her watch. “Damn, I gotta go, Neil. Maybe I’ll see you tomor
row afternoon.”

  “Tomorrow? Afternoon? What about tonight? When will you be back from hanging out?”

  “I have no idea. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  I watch her walk away from me, leaving the den, hearing her heels click against the tile in the foyer, and then I hear my front door shut.

  It’s two in the A.M.

  As soon as I see Dani’s truck pull up, I slip through the front door and walk briskly to it. She rolls down the window. “Hop in,” she commands.

  I run to the passenger side and slide onto the fabric-covered seat. The engine still humming, she backs the Tacoma out the driveway.

  “Where’re you going?” I ask.

  “Shhh,” she says. “You worry too much.”

  We drive down my block, up a few more, and end up still in the neighborhood at the end of a block that has inadequate lighting. Dani kills the engine and everything goes quiet. Soon I hear crickets chirping. It’s difficult to see and I wait for my vision to adjust. The wind is whipping around us and causing tree leaves to flutter and swirl.

  I ask her, “How was the—”

  Dani lips devour mine. I hesitate for a minute but open my mouth. Her tongue explores me, pressing deeper and sliding on top of my tongue. She smacks my lips several times, pecking me. I squirm and want to caress my dick. My knees are smashed against the instrument panel. I wipe my mouth.

  “Are you crazy?” I ask her.

  “Are you?”

  “The kids are upstairs, Dani. Four blocks away.”

  “They’ll be all right. I want to be alone with you.”

  I moan and passionately kiss her again. When I’m done, I tell her, “I haven’t made out with a girl in a car since my college days.”

  “You didn’t have any money for a hotel room?”

  “I was a student earning minimum wage. We laid the pipe wherever we could—dorm rooms, the back of a van, in the library between the shelves…”

  “Mmm. I believe it. Was it fun?” She smiles.

  “Yes and no. Yes, because it was adventurous and sneaky. No, because I was never able to maneuver myself into the right position. If I’d taken up yoga, something different might’ve happened.”

  “You’re so naughty, Neil. Don’t change, okay?” Her voice is sooo soft, sexy. I look at her and unlock the doors and command her, “Get out the truck.”

  Dani wastes no time opening her door, and I follow her out. She leans her back against the driver side of the Tacoma. I rub myself against her like we’re teenagers in an empty school yard. She arches her neck and I kiss the skin underneath her ear. She smells sweet, edible. I grab her head between my hands, press my lips on hers, and slob her down. She lets me. She’s mine. She has on a black strapless form-fitting dress. Dani lowers the top of the dress and grabs her breasts between her hands like she’s holding two oranges. I suck her nipples, giving each one three seconds apiece as I go back and forth, rolling my tongue across them.

  “Dammit, Neil,” she gasps. “Let’s do it, now. C’mon.” First she grabs a large scarf and completely covers her hair, tucking loose strands underneath the fabric. Then she clasps her hand in mine and pulls me to the back of the truck. She steps on the rear bumper and hops in the cab.

  “We can lie on these quilts that are in the corner,” she tells me.

  “Why you have quilts here?”

  “So I can fulfill a fantasy.”

  “Stop lying, Dani.”

  “Stop asking, then.”

  She spreads out the quilts, pulls her black dress above her hips, removes her cheeky pants, and lies down with her legs spread open. I collapse next to her warm body, unzipping my blue jeans. Getting on top, I plunge my rigid, throbbing dick inside her. Dani is soaking wet and squishy sounding. I clamp my hand over her mouth when she begins to wail and tremble. I sex her hard for ten minutes, then we straighten our wrinkled clothes and hop back into the truck. She quickly drives off and drops me off at home.

  While showering and wiping Dani off of me, I feel convicted and weakly ask the Lord to forgive me. I wait and listen and stop soaping myself when a voice whispers, “You are not sincere.”

  The phone rings at four A.M. It’s my cell, which I customarily leave on all night.

  “Neil.”

  It’s Dani. She’s crying.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry,” she sniffs. “I hate this.”

  “Hate what? What happened?”

  “Why didn’t you stop me?” she cries.

  I sit up on the sofa. “Dani—”

  “We did it without protection, Neil. Didn’t you notice, or did that not matter to you?”

  “I thought you were on the Pill.”

  “Sometimes they make me feel sick, so I stopped taking them.”

  “And when were you gonna tell me that, Dani? After you take a test and find out you’re pregnant again?”

  “I’m sorry, Neil. I don’t want that to happen again. I wouldn’t be able to handle that again. What are we gonna do?”

  Hey, I was happy to have one baby with Dani, but two?

  “Dani, if you’re pregnant, you might—”

  “No, nooo. No.”

  “Well, you should’ve thought about this.” My voice is tight. I am pacing across the library now. I recognize that, sexy as she is, Danielle Frazier can be sexily stupid. But I feel dumb for dealing with her. I wish we’d used our brains and I’d worn protection, ’cause these days having sex without protection is like eating barbecue ribs without a napkin. Doesn’t make any sense.

  “You still there?” she sniffs.

  “I’m here.”

  “Well, I asked you a question twice and you didn’t respond. I thought you hung up on me.” She pauses. “Don’t abandon me, Neil, promise me.”

  “Dani, look.” I don’t know what to do, say. “I–I’m not gonna do that.”

  “Promise?”

  “I don’t make promises.”

  “Neil!”

  I pull the phone away from my ear. I feel like ending the call, silencing her voice. But I calm myself down and speak into the mouthpiece.

  “Dani, look. Worrying about this won’t change a thing. Say your prayers. Take a long bath. Scrub yourself real good. And let’s wait and see what happens.”

  “Awful, yucky, sucky advice, Neil. You could never be a psychoanalyst with a hot column.”

  “Thanks for sharing that, Dani. Just be cool, okay? I’ll try to come see you tomorrow.”

  “Are you going to church in a few hours?”

  “I don’t do church anymore,” I say with sorrow, and hang up.

  Do you know what it’s like to love a woman so much that she makes you feel weak, as if you possess the strength of a flimsy piece of tissue? The woman you love is that one-of-a-kind, God-broke-the-mold-when-he-made-her type; she walks the earth and can affect you like no other. One woman can have the hots for you, ask you to call her, and you keep on stepping, acting like you don’t speak her language. Another woman tells you to call, says she needs to hear your voice, and you add her number to speed dial, wishing there were more than twenty-four hours in a day, so you could talk to her and be with her all the time, as if the day had no beginning and the night had no end. You stare in this woman’s eyes whenever you’re together. And when she’s not with you, you whip out her ever-present photo, look at her face, smile, and talk to her picture even though you know she cannot hear you.

  But then there’s the other side. The same woman who causes you to stagger after her like a happy drunk is the very one who tires you out, making your legs collapse underneath you. You’re the dopehead resisting rehab. Your soul cries for her, and you’re willing to steal from your own mother—anything to pay the price it takes to be with that woman. And you love how love feels, yet you hate the feeling that love gives you. You’ve fallen into a deep well that has no walls, into relationship purgatory. You’re dropping, descending, wailing, grinding your teeth, so horribly tormented you feel
no one, not even God himself, can hear your cries and rescue you.

  That afternoon, Dani calls and asks to come by. I say, “Don’t bother.” She screams at me and says don’t tell her what to do. Flustered, I explain I’m not telling her what to do, but I wish she’d lay off me for once. I promise I’ll bring Brax to her early the next morning before I go to work. I know Audrey will get to Dani’s place around seven. I can be there at six-thirty.

  “Why are you acting like this, Neil?”

  “Acting like what?” I snap. “Saying no for a change?”

  “I wish—”

  “The things you wish always get me in trouble, Dani. I’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep in the past twenty-four. I have two kids in my care, and so far none of this has been the most peaceful experience.”

  “Oh, and I suppose all of this is my fault. You know what, Neil? You’re terrible at taking your share of the blame.”

  “I know, and that’s why for this one day, I want to be by myself. Let me care for the baby without any impromptu visits. I need to concentrate more on being his father than being your crutch…and, well, that’s all I have to say.”

  Dani is disturbingly quiet, which causes me to whistle. I’m in the kitchen trying to fix a Sunday afternoon meal. Brax is in his infant seat. Reese is sitting in the corner, with large yellow, green, and blue crayons spread on the table. She’s trying to color in the lines but isn’t doing a good job of it. I’ve promised her that I’ll help, but I have to put a honey-baked ham in the oven. I am rinsing the broccoli so it can be steamed, and I want to make some hollandaise sauce, and strip and rinse a few stalks of corn.

  “You know, Neil, you’re totally right about this. It’s not like we cannot function if we aren’t in each other’s face all the time. Besides, I need to get a life. I’ll be twenty-six in a couple of weeks. I have no real boyfriend. I want to find someone who is serious about me, who loves my son and appreciates and values both of us. So you go right ahead and play Daddy. I’m going to do what I have to do. Let’s just be best friends, okay? We’ll freeze the sex and be good friends, Neil. What do you think of that?”

  I close my eyes and tell her, “I think since we’re so-called best friends like this, you have no damn reason to call me again.” And I hang up.