The Amour series (Book 1): The Embers of Amour

by LaRue, Coushatta

  “You stayed a very long time,” She said with an accusing voice. She knew she was being overdramatic and just asking for a fight. However, she had felt so alone since their last fight and as if he was fading away. She wanted to know he still would fight for her and pick her. An ill feeling bubbled in her stomach, and she sat down across from him and crossed her arms. He refused to look at her and just closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

  “Who were you with?” She asked, gritting her teeth on the edge of tears. She was biting on her bottom lip and thinking about how he spent six hours at this lunch for his work. He groaned loudly and rubbed his face with his hands.

  “I’m not doing this,” He said. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen to get some water. She pulled her fingers through her long thick red hair and pressed her lips together. She felt so powerless and confused. Everything had seemed to be going well, until she noticed his dark side and saw her own coming out more. She knew she was out of control with her emotions and needed to calm down and find peace. She needed to get out of her head and learn to deal with her codependent ways. She knew all this, but she was too weak to admit something was wrong just as he was.

  “Why don’t you want to talk?” Abby asked annoyed as she looked back at him. Something inside her just wanted him to say he cheated and just validate her feelings and fears. He spun around with a glass of water and gave her a glare then replied, “Because I am tired of being accused. You’re supposed to trust me, and you don’t.”

  “I do trust you.” She told him as she stood up, wrapping her arms around her body, “I am just scared of losing you. You seem so far away. You won’t talk to me. Let me help.” She felt tears in her eyes.

  “I don’t need help. And I am just tired of this. How are we supposed to work when you will not trust me?” He shot at her with pure bitterness in his voice. She could feel the resentment he had for her. It was tearing them apart, and there was nothing she could do. She knew that deep down. She knew things were broken and knew that she could never fix them, but she was too scared to admit it.

  “I’m sorry I just don’t want to lose you,” She sobbed. He walked over to her and gave her a hug. She did not feel comfort. She felt empty and alone. She felt as if nothing had been resolved as always. As if everything was being pushed to the side, because no one wanted to tell the truth. She knew that would be the fall of them.

  He held her tightly and kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “I love you.” She kissed him and replied back quietly, “I love you, Aaron.” Yet deep down she did not truly feel loved. She felt alone and confused. She felt like a fool and was tired of getting the blame. She wanted to feel the love he swore he had for her. She felt doubt in her mind for them but did not want to admit it. She feared losing him, and even more she feared losing herself.

  When Abby woke, she was laying on an old jacket that smelt like rotting milk. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, causing a sharp pain in her throat. She rubbed her fingers through her tangled hair and touched the bandage on her ear. She winced at the pain, as a shadow appeared over her. The face blurred at first, and then Megan’s large brown eyes appeared. She smiled and rubbed a wet rag over Abby’s sweaty forehead.

  “Hello,” Megan said quietly. Abby blinked and noticed that the only light in the room was coming from the pit between them. She slowly sat up and leaned against the end of an aisle. Evan was looking through a journal with annoyance. Abby glanced towards the door and windows of the store and saw the darkness. She grimaced.

  “How long have I been asleep?” She asked with a dry throat. She felt sickly and hot. Her stomach growled. Megan began to open a can of chili to cook. And while she did that, she handed Abby a bottle of water. Abby looked at it and frowned.

  “It is okay. We have enough. And you have been out all day.” She told Abby smiling. Abby nodded and drank the water slowly. It tasted amazing on her tongue. Evan gave her a hard quick look before going back to his journal. Megan cooked the chili slowly but kept looking at Abby with a flat but kind expression. Abby felt very dirty, and she could smell herself, and her face turned red. Megan pressed her lips together, and she seemed to know exactly what Abby was thinking.

  “I have some baby wipes,” Megan said taking a moment to grab her bag and sit it by Abby. Abby glanced down at the hunter green bag and stared blankly. She reached in and found a small package of wipes and took them out. She pulled one out and started to wipe her face and neck clean. Thunder roared outside in the distance, and Evan looked up and back at the door with a weary face. Abby looked at the wipe and had a look of disgust on her pale face.

  “Who is Aaron?” She heard Megan ask as she put a spoon of chili to her mouth to taste it. Abby’s tired eyes widened, and some of her red hair fell over her face. Megan glanced at her then back at the chili and then Evan said, “Don’t be nosy.” Megan sat down on her knees and gave him a look and then looked at Abby with an apologetic stare.

  “He was my fiancé.” Abby answered as she took another wipe. She touched her necklace quickly and then started to wipe her arms off. Her clothes looked horrible, and the smell of urine was strong. The wipe quickly turned black, and Abby tried to remember how long it had been since she had taken a real bath. She licked her chapped lips and tasted dry blood. She wondered what she looked like.

  “He disappeared before everything went to hell,” Abby added, her voice weakening. Megan looked guilty and took some of the chili out of the pot and put it into a bowl and brought it over to Abby. Abby stared at it with a watering mouth; but when the smell hit her, she wanted to vomit. She ignored the feeling and took the bowl happily.

  “This is so kind,” Abby murmured then added, “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” Megan smiled and then sat in front of Abby. Abby put the wipe down and slowly brought a metal spoon to her lips. She put it into her mouth, burning her tongue; however it tasted like the best thing she had ever tasted. She shoveled another spoonful into her mouth. She felt so grateful and pleased.

  “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Megan suddenly said after a few moments of silence. Abby swallowed and shrugged painfully before saying, “It’s okay. He left one morning, and I never heard from him again.”

  She looked down at her bowl of chili and felt an emptiness in her stomach. Megan made herself a bowl and started to eat it slowly. Every bite was brought to her mouth very carefully. Abby eyed her closely and then looked at Evan who was still staring at his journal.

  “I had a dream about him,” Abby stuttered and then continued, “They’ve been very vivid lately.” Megan looked at her with curiosity and swallowed some chili then asked, “Do you mind if I ask you what it was about?”

  The question made Abby cringe. However, she felt oddly comfortable suddenly and told her the dream and explained about the girl Aaron had a crush on at work when Megan asked. After a few silent moments, Megan went to speak; however Evan cut her off, “Can’t be that stupid. He clearly was cheating.”

  “Evan!” Megan snapped. Evan looked up at Abby with narrowed eyes then shrugged and looked back down at his journal. Abby wondered what he was reading. His words stung, but only because it was unexpected, not because she did not feel it weren’t true. She looked down at her food that was starting to taste sour and frowned.

  “I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding.” Megan tried to reassure her but gave her a doubtful stare. Abby leaned backwards and looked at the mismatched roof and then downward. She placed the bowl on a leg and touched where her wounds were on the other. She winced at the soreness.

  “He had been acting differently for a while,” Abby started slowly, she was not sure why she was even talking about him, yet it felt good. She felt numb and cold inside, and her heart was beating slowly. “Ever since I had pointed out a problem of his… it got worse and I got more out of control. I tried to help but he just got mad at me. He was stressed, and I pushed him. I kept trying to fix my mistake, but he just got resentful. I didn’t back of
f, and so he backed away.”

  She smacked her lips and drank some more water. Megan was eyeing her with a caring look, while Evan stared at her with anger in his eyes. Abby started to feel embarrassed. They did not care, and she had no reason to talk about this. She was just lonely and bored. She shut her eyes and chewed on her bottom lip.

  “So you tried to help him, and he fucked you over? Is that what you said?” Evan asked unkindly. Abby looked at him and shook her head, “No… I mean he had a problem, and I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I had problems too and got out of control. I shouldn’t have been so clingy and whiny“

  “Because he refused to fix his problems, he blamed them on you. And you took the blame like a coward.” Evan told her, his voice full of poison. Megan shot him a glare and hissed, “Evan, stop. You’re being cruel.” Evan dropped his journal and looked at Abby with a hard look then said, “I’m guessing he was an addict of some type. You didn’t like his behavior, and he took it out on you. You got scared of losing him, so you let him walk all over you.”

  Abby tasted bile in the back of her throat, and she felt tears burn her eyes. She felt very emotional, and her hands shook. Megan moved towards Evan and started to say something to him that Abby could not make out. Abby stared at her pale, bruised fingertips and at her broken pinky then touched her necklace. She felt her heart sink. She glanced up at Evan who was waving his hand at Megan like he was trying to swat a fly away. Megan returned to Abby and placed her hand on Abby’s shoulder.

  “I’m sorry about him. He isn’t used to company.” Megan tried to smile, yet she failed. Abby sat her bowl to her side and leaned forward and licked her dry lips.

  “Thank you for all this. But, I don’t want to burden you.” Abby said flatly and started to reach for her crutches. Megan shook her head and said, “No. Please stay. You can come with us to Haven.” Abby pulled a crutch closer to her body and looked at Megan.

  “It is a safe place. With walls, running water, food, and I even hear there is electricity.” Megan smiled. Evan sighed heavily and snorted, “We don’t know actually. This place could be a lie.”

  “Or it could be a wonderful normal town where we can be safe.” Megan insisted. She turned to Abby, and her eyes seemed to shine as she said, “You can come with us. We are only about a few weeks away.”

  Abby considered the offer. A town where everything was actually normal with lights and hot water. Was that even possible anymore? She looked at her bowl of food and swallowed hard. She wondered what normal even was. She opened her lips then closed them and said, “I’m bitten.”

  Evan stared at her long and hard and then looked down at his shoes. Megan sighed and raised an eyebrow then answered, “In all the cases of bites I have seen people turned within a few hours. I heard of one case being a day but we weren’t even sure if that was real or not.” She smiled and then added, “Your wounds look as if they are healing very quickly. You seem to be fighting off the virus. Maybe they can make a cure with your blood.”

  Abby’s eyes widened, and Evan shook his head and groaned, “Don’t fill her head with fairytales,, Megan. They tried for years to create a cure, and nothing worked.” He rubbed his hands together and drank something from a steel bottle. Megan shrugged and said, “Then why hasn’t she changed, Evan? Why else if not a cure?”

  Evan stood and brushed his legs off and waved his hand toward Abby and said, “Maybe it is just taking a while to turn her. Maybe in a few seconds, she’ll turn and try to eat us. Ever think of that?” Megan stood with a sad expression on her face, “Why can’t you just have a little hope?” She whimpered. His eyes narrowed, and he looked at her carefully and turned away.

  “Hope is what keeps us from thinking logically.” He jeered as he looked back at Megan and then down at Abby. Then he added, “I have to piss.” He walked behind an aisle. Abby listened to his footsteps, and a shiver went down her spine. Megan sat back down and started to eat again. Abby saw a deep sadness in her eyes, and it made her heart sink. She leaned forward and touched Megan’s arm and softly said, “Sometimes logic is our worse enemy.”

  Megan grinned at her, and the light returned to her eyes, “Will you come?” Abby forced a smile. She did not think it was the best idea. Evan was right, she could turn any second. However, she wondered what if she would not turn. She wondered what if she was okay. Could it even be possible?

  “Yes.” She answered unsurely. It was enough for Megan, and she smiled again. Abby leaned back and looked towards the shop’s door. It was very dark outside. Abby’s eyes blurred for a moment, and she looked back at Megan. She closed her eyes again, and sleep took her. She woke only once to see Evan and Megan holding one another, whispering sweet nothings to each other. She frowned and fell back into the darkness.

  Chapter eleven

  When Abby woke, daylight blinded her. Her eyes burned. Her mouth was dry, and her throat was itchy. Her head was pounding, and her leg was throbbing. She felt someone touch her shoulder, and she jumped awake and stared with her mouth open. It was Evan. His warm eyes were looking down at her with a new kindness. He looked much younger up close and had a charming face.

  “We’re going to leave now. Can you walk?” He asked kindly. His touch was soft. It made her miss Aaron’s hands. She ignored the thought and moved herself forward. Bones cracked inside her body. She groaned and grabbed her chest and took in a deep breath. Evan lowered his hand and asked, “You okay?”

  “I fell off a roof. I think I bruised or broke a rib.” She said gritting her teeth. The pain in her chest had never been that noticeable until the pain in her leg started to dim down. She felt as if she were going to throw up but kept it down. She closed her eyes and took in a long deep breath. When she opened them, Evan was holding a medicine bottle and a protein bar. She looked at it strangely and back at him.

  “Thank you.” Her voice squeaked as she took the bottle and bar. He nodded and stood up with one of her crutches. He reached a hand down towards her; she studied it for a moment, and then reached up and placed her hand in his. It felt soft and smooth. He handed her the crutch and nodded again as she supported her own weight on it. She was lightheaded and hungry again but felt better than she had in a long time.

  Evan had his bag already, and Megan came from outside with her bat and bag. She smiled at Abby and said, “Alright lets go find a car.” Evan took a glance at Abby and back at Megan.

  “Are you good to walk?” He asked Abby again. His voice sounded unsure and a little shaky now. He looked so tall in the light. Megan smiled and walked towards Abby and said, “We can wait a little longer if you-“

  “No. I am good.” Abby said as she opened the protein bar and started to eat it. It tasted overly salted, and she feared she would throw it back up. Evan shook a water bottle in his hand and handed it to Abby. She took it in her free hand and nodded at him. She took the medicine. She seemed to feel much better.

  Abby could not understand how someone could be so bubbly in these times. Evan walked towards the door, and she saw him put his gun away in his pants. It reminded Abby of her gun, and she looked away nervously. She noticed it, lying on the floor where she had been. She awkwardly bent down and picked it up. Evan glanced at her with a blank stare before he walked outside.

  “I can carry that for you,” Megan suggested kindly. Abby looked at the gun and then back at Megan and decided she would rather not have that kind of power. She handed it to Megan, and Megan put it in her bag.

  When they stepped outside, the sun blinded Abby for a second. She thought she was passing out until her vision began to clear. The air smelt of rot, but there was a cool wind blowing. Abby listened to the silence and then heard a queer sound. It sounded as if it were very far away yet as if it were echoing. The sound was rough and sounded like something heavy moving on glass. Abby narrowed her eyes and looked down the empty street, past the cars, and towards a curve in the road. She stared and her eyes widened as her heart started to race.

  “Abby?” Me
gan’s voice broke her from her trance.

  “What?” Abby asked confused. She looked at Megan’s worried expression and then at Evan’s tensed eyes. Megan touched Abby’s shoulder and squeezed it then said, “We’re going this way.” Megan nudge her head towards Evan. Abby took one last long look at where the strange sound was coming from and then turned towards the two. She started to walk with Megan.

  Evan stayed in front moving around cautiously. Abby noticed his muscles under his shirt and wondered what he did before everything had happened. She made a quick gaze at Megan then back in front of her. She did not know how to ask questions. She was not sure of what was acceptable and what was not these days. She kept quiet and swallowed. She remembered the bottle of pills in her hand and put them into the large pocket in her sweatpants. She then noticed how ridiculous she looked.

  Then she looked at Evan and Megan. They did not look so great either; however they both had a confident walk. Abby’s leg was aching, and the cuts on her lips were twitching. Evan stopped at a curve and looked both ways before he started crossing the streets. They crossed the street slowly, dodging around the parked cars, and ignoring the corpses inside.

  “If we are walking too fast just let us know.” Said Megan. Abby looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile. Evan looked back and quickly looked forward when Abby made eye contact. She felt tired and sleepy as she always seemed to these days. Her leg hurt, however her head was not spinning, and she did not feel sick.

  “Where were you headed when you were bit?” Megan suddenly asked, breaking the silence. Abby felt very anxious about the question and felt her chest tighten. She was not sure why and felt slight fear because of it. She took in a deep breath and tried to think. Evan glanced back at her with curiosity. Abby licked the dry scabs on her lips and then clicked her tongue.