Brokenhearted Beauty [Divine Creek Ranch 19] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Heather Rainier

  “This was a project Patterson started on…right before the accident,” James said, swallowing back the knot of emotion in his throat. “He wanted to restore it. It’s been sitting ever since and we decided we’d finish it for him.”

  Kendry grinned and rested the heels of his hands on the radiator as he looked at the 350 small block in the engine compartment. “Does it run?”

  “Yeah.”

  Kendry grinned. “Start ’er up.”

  While Vincent climbed into the truck to key the ignition, James turned to Kendry and Jared and said, “Want a beer?”

  “Sure!”

  James went into the garage and pulled four cold ones from the old refrigerator they kept stocked and then rejoined them as they talked about the truck.

  “Patterson got it at an auction. It’s just like one he had when he was in high school that he managed to wrap around a tree. What’s the story with the Blazer?”

  Because there had to be a story there, too. The parallels weren’t lost on James.

  “It belonged to my dad. It was the first vehicle he ever bought new and it’s stayed in the family. He’s gone now and we both have our own vehicles but somehow it seemed right to drive it out here today.”

  Vincent asked about what was under the hood and for the next hour or so the four of them talked trucks, drank a few beers, and got to know each another. It turned out that both Kendry and Jared were firefighters from Abilene, Texas.

  “Abilene,” Vincent growled.

  Jared raised an eyebrow but grinned. “You got something against Abilene?”

  Vincent shook his head. “The town? No. It’s just a reminder of an issue we’re dealing with right now. Our lady may be moving there soon.”

  Kendry nodded but cast a curious look between him and Vincent. “Your lady? As in both of yours? You’d be willing to share?”

  James patted Kendry on the shoulder and said, “When it’s the right woman, yeah. Why don’t I get us a few more beers and we can go inside and cool down a little before starting supper prep. We’ll explain what life in Divine can be like. I hope steak is all right with you.”

  “Works for me.”

  While he seasoned the thick filets, Vincent, Kendry, and Jared shucked several ears of fresh corn and wrapped them in foil, and the two of them told the McCulloch brothers a little about Leah.

  “And she’s with both of you?”

  “For now. We hope to make it permanent. Ideally, we wanted her with the three of us. Patterson’s death devastated her and it’s been really rough for her the last few months.”

  “But she’s thinking about leaving?” Kendry raised a questioning eyebrow.

  Vincent sat forward and shook his head. “You’d need to know her to understand. She’s a little go-getter, and she’s gone to school and trained specifically to do the kind of job she’s been offered, and she’s only twenty-nine. It’s a family-run business so she could eventually go all the way to the top. I’d miss her like crazy if she left but I’d understand.”

  James didn’t see any reservation in Vincent’s eyes as he spoke and James knew that Vincent loved her enough to let her go. He wouldn’t volunteer such frankness if he didn’t mean it.

  “She must be somethin’,” Jared said as they finished stripping the corn silk from the last of the ears of corn.

  “That she is.” James stuck the steaks back in the fridge and went outside to light the charcoal in the pit. Blue barked enthusiastically and followed him into the house.

  Vincent was showing the guys the family photos that were lined up on bookshelves in the living room when the doorbell rang. Vincent and James shared a look before he went to answer it.

  Leah stood on the porch, biting her lip and looking ready to bolt, and he stepped out and wrapped his arms around her. “Honey, you came.”

  The way she tugged her soft lip between her teeth made him want to kiss her. “I–I thought I might come for a few minutes. I don’t want to be in the way. Is it—is it going okay?”

  He squeezed her again and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her sweet fragrance. “It’s better than okay.” He looked over her shoulder and said, “Honey, why is your trunk propped open like that.”

  Her bright smile made his heart lurch a little. “Remind me to show you when the three of us are alone.” She craned her neck to peek around his arm and whispered, “The visit really is going okay?”

  He nodded and leaned down to kiss her. “It is. Come in and meet Kendry and his brother, Jared.”

  “Okay.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears and followed him into the house, and he made the introductions. Her hand gripped his forearm as she reached out with the other and shook Kendry’s and Jared’s hands. When the introductions were complete, Vincent leaned down to kiss her and whispered a few quiet words to her.

  After coaxing her to take a seat next to him on the couch, James looked on as Vincent showed pictures of Patterson from a family photo album to Kendry and his brother. Kendry asked if they had any family videos. Vincent looked at him and he nodded. “If it’s okay with Leah. It’s been a while since I’ve watched them.”

  Kendry looked down at his hands, braced on his knees, and frowned. “Maybe that was out of line. It hasn’t been that long since you lost your brother and it must seem like I’m just satisfying my curiosity. That wasn’t cool of me to ask.”

  Leah said, “I think it’d be fine, Kendry. If you’d like to see the videos, it would tell you a lot about Patterson. I mean, who knows when you’d get the chance to watch them again, right?”

  James knew what it cost her to watch the videos, on top of everything else she was dealing with. As the first one played, he glanced at her and saw her eyes become a little glossy. This was no easy thing for her like she pretended it to be.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Leah breathed through the ache in her chest, trying to stay composed as they watched the video which had been shot down at the river while the men were fishing. A younger version of Blue scrambled clumsily down the wooden dock, barking excitedly, and jumped into the water, splashing Patterson who sat at the end baiting his hook.

  Patterson glanced back at the camera, grimaced, and then said, “You’re gonna break that, pointing it at me.” Turning his attention back to the hook displayed his angular profile, his dark lashes and brow, square jaw and neat beard, and Leah drank it in like a woman dying of thirst.

  The three brothers chatted about nothing for a few moments before Patterson propelled himself off the pier into the water, still wearing his jeans and T-shirt. He helped Blue back up onto the dock, where he promptly shook off, spraying them and the camera with water.

  Seeing him in action, taking care of others, so…vital…was hard, but the worst part was hearing his voice. It was the same voice that sometimes echoed in her head. It hadn’t faded or dulled with time. She hoped it never did but it still made her ache as they put in another, a video from a city league softball game, and then one from a local wedding. She didn’t retreat into her head because in a small way, she was experiencing closure, watching with James and Vincent, and the others, without falling apart. This was an “in her heart” kind of moment.

  From time to time she could feel James’s eyes upon her, and his warmth as she leaned against him on the couch made the experience a little easier.

  After a couple of other videos, James went outside to put the steaks on the grill and Vincent filled the vacant spot beside her. She noticed Kendry and Jared’s veiled curiosity at their relationship dynamic but neither man said anything about it. James and Vincent could tell them what they wanted them to know.

  “Doing okay, doll?” Vincent whispered as he stroked her neck. He turned his captivating green eyes on her and she smiled and kissed the shoulder she leaned against but said nothing else.

  A little later they sat around the dining room table, having consumed all the good food the men had cooked on the grill. Kendry and Jared turned out to be the kind of men she could se
e James and Vincent becoming good friends with and she was happy about that.

  After the meal was finished, Leah rose from the table and began clearing dishes. James leaned against the frame of the window overlooking the backyard and the river beyond and said, “Want to walk down to the water?”

  “Yeah,” Kendry said after looking at his brother, who also nodded. “We don’t want to take up your whole evening. I figured you’d be kind of tired of us by now.”

  James said, “You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

  She was busy filling a sink with hot soapy water when James and Vincent bracketed her and Vincent asked, “You coming, too?”

  Shaking her head, she said, “The dishes need doing.”

  Vincent turned off the water. “Far as I’m concerned the dishes can sit where they are until morning. You already have them soaking. We’ll handle the rest later. I want you with us.”

  Looking from one to the other, she said, “You’re sure?”

  James nodded and handed her a dishtowel to dry her hands with.

  Because of recent rains, the river was moving fast and the breeze was cool coming off the water. On impulse she sat down next to Kendry as he removed his sneakers and socks.

  He grinned at her and settled his weight back on his hands and dunked his feet in the water as the others did the same. “I could stand living someplace like this. The whole area is beautiful.”

  Leah pointed at the river and said, “This feeds the Divine Creek which meanders all over the area, including right through town.”

  Kendry nodded and then gazed at her for several seconds, until she became a little self-conscious. “James and Vincent tell me that you were the love of Patterson’s life.”

  Not knowing what to say, she waited, looking down at her feet submerged in the cold water, hoping the guys would say something. It didn’t seem right to say, “Why, yes, in fact I was the love of his life.” She didn’t know that was a fact, either. He’d been thirty-nine that year and she’d never quizzed him about his love life prior to meeting her. While he’d been alive, they hadn’t ever discussed it, but deep in her heart, she longed to have the possibility confirmed. I could’ve been the love of his life if I hadn’t been such a dumbass.

  Sitting on her other side, Vincent said, “It’s okay, Leah. We know you were.” While it was a small gesture, his hand stroking her lower back was reassuring and comforting at the same time.

  Finally, she lifted her gaze to Kendry’s chest before making eye contact with him. His blue-gray eyes were seeking but there was kindness in them, too. “I miss him every day. I’ll always regret that I never got to tell him I loved him because I was scared.”

  “Scared of what?”

  “Mostly my own shortcomings but also because of public opinion. I wasted valuable time I can never get back.” She flicked another glance at his chest and saw his surgical scar above the top button of his shirt before looking beyond him to James.

  The heat of a blush filled her cheeks hoping he didn’t think she was ogling Kendry, or wonder why she was confessing things she normally kept private to someone she barely knew. Seeming to read her mind, James said, “It’s okay, honey. None of us ever thought we’d be in this position today. A little weirdness is to be expected, I think.”

  She pointed at Kendry’s chest. “You seem like a reasonably healthy person. How did you come to need a transplant?”

  Kendry said, “I had a congenital birth defect, one of those things my pediatrician told my parents I might outgrow, only I didn’t. A couple of years ago, I collapsed while at work and woke up in the hospital. I was there for two months. I was placed on the transplant list and we waited and prayed. Since the transplant in April, I’ve been making up for lost time.”

  Jared snorted. “You should’ve seen him when he finally left the hospital. Pale and thin and ready to hit the ground running. It’s just a damn good thing…”

  Kendry smiled at his brother but waited him out.

  Jared finally continued. “It’s a damn good thing he was at the station house cleaning a truck when he collapsed and not in a burning building, otherwise…There were also EMTs there when it happened so he got speedy treatment. Anyway, the fire department welcomed him back on desk duty until his surgeon gives him the final clearance to go back to active duty.” He took in a deep breath. “I should’ve brought pictures from when he got the call that a heart was available. Pretty scary stuff to go through with your brother.”

  Sitting forward, Kendry said, “And it was never far from my mind that in order for the transplant to happen, someone else was dying. Before they put me under, I prayed that there might be a way to someday thank you for the gift.”

  Leah saw sincerity in his eyes and wondered how she would react in similar circumstances. “What do you like to do?”

  “I’ve always been into old cars and trucks, since my dad first taught us how to handle tools. I’ve always been a runner, for fitness. No marathons or anything like that. Jared and I recently went on our first hike together since before the diagnosis.”

  “Where’d you go?” Vincent asked.

  Jared grinned as he rubbed at the reddish blonde scruff on his jaw. “I started him out on a baby hike out at Enchanted Rock.”

  Kendry chuckled. “Didn’t feel like a baby hike to me, especially not in this heat. We camped out that night. We’re planning the next trip out in Big Bend this December when it’s a little cooler.”

  Listening to them talk, Leah could tell he and his brother were close, and she thought that if Patterson had met Kendry, he would’ve approved of him getting his heart.

  Kendry turned his attention back to Leah. “I hope that puts you at ease, Leah. I promise I’ll take good care of it.”

  Her throat clicked when she tried to swallow, and she nodded because she couldn’t speak.

  Kendry cleared his own throat and said, “Would you like to listen?”

  The tears spilled from her eyes and she hummed softly, doing her best to keep the welling sob inside her. Her face grew warm as she looked down at her knees which she had in a white-knuckle grip. She felt comforting hands on her shoulders and found the strength to nod.

  She looked up at Kendry and his expression crumbled a little. “Sweetie, the last thing I wanted to do was make you cry. I’m so sorry.”

  Sniffling, she swallowed back her tears and patted him on the arm. “I think it was sweet of you to offer. It’s just hard, you know?”

  He nodded and settled his weight back on his hands. “Listen for as long as you need to. I’m wash and wear so the waterworks won’t bother me.”

  She smiled at him, thinking he needed to tell that to his face because he looked terrified of her getting any more upset. She glanced at Vincent and James and they both nodded their approval. She clasped her left hand with Vincent and her right hand with James, behind Kendry. He angled toward her on the dock so she’d be comfortable, but their height differential made it awkward.

  Vincent lifted her onto his lap as he scooted toward Kendry. Once she was settled and secure in his arms, she leaned toward Kendry.

  She let out a soft breath as she laid the side of her head against his chest. His scent, a not unpleasant mix of fresh laundry and sunshine filled her nose as she closed her eyes and listened.

  The sound of bird calls and the river rushing past them faded away. A tremor rippled through her as she listened to the heart beating steadily under her ear. James and Vincent squeezed her hands as she was transported back to the morning she lay on Patterson’s chest, held in thrall by each beat remaining to him.

  Tears flooded and she didn’t even try to fight them. Sobs wracked her body, but she held them deep because they kept her from hearing properly, as did the pounding of her own heart in her ears. She willed herself calm by remembering the way he’d smile at her and tease her.

  She recalled Patterson’s woodsy, sexy scent, very different from Kendry’s. Whenever he’d hugged her, afterward she’d o
ccasionally sniff her collar just to get a hint of him. She’d almost skipped washing the top she’d worn the night he’d brought Lonesome Dove over for them to watch, because he’d sat with his arm around her shoulders on the back of the couch. She’d buried her nose in the fabric one last time before she’d finally thrown it in the washer.

  Showing great patience, Kendry held still and let her have that moment of communion with Patterson. He’d said earlier, and her men had agreed, that she’d been the love of his life. She didn’t see how that could be since she’d never done more than let him hug her and get away with a stolen kiss. Why would he love her when she’d behaved so primly?

  James and Vincent seemed certain of his love and that would have to be enough for her. The one thing she could be certain of was that her foolish heart beat for him, whether he was still present in the world or not.

  She tightened her jaw, to keep from making a sound, as her heart cried out to his. I will never forget you. I’ll always be your fluff. I think I found the missing piece and no matter what happens, I’ll always love you.

  A gentle hand stroked the back of her head and she knew by the way he gathered her hair into his hand and ran it through his fingers that it was Vincent. She was sitting in his lap so he must’ve felt her trembling. Despite his occasional blustering and pushiness, it really bothered him to see her upset.

  The glorious heartbeat was the same, but she knew there was only so long she could stay that way before someone became uncomfortable. If she couldn’t have Patterson in that moment of intimacy, then she wanted James and Vincent.

  Looking up at Kendry as she drew away, she whispered, “I know you’ll take good care of that heart.” Through tears she smiled up at him. “For a time I believe it did belong to me.”

  He gazed down at her and his eyes grew glossy with empathy for her, for them. He blinked and swallowed. “I will. Thank you for agreeing to meet me. I know it was hard for you but I totally get why their brother loved you…and why they love you. What you have is special and I’m glad they’re here for you.” Glancing at her men one at a time, he chuckled and added, “And I think if they didn’t already own your heart this heart of mine would try to claim you all over again.”