Fire of the Soul

by Speer, Flora

  “I have long suspected that Belai wasn’t killed in battle, but was murdered in the midst of the fray by one or more of his fellow nobles whom I had angered. If that is true, then I am guilty of the death of the man I loved. I, too, know what it is to harbor a hatred that corrodes my very soul,” she said, looking hard at Garit. “I also know the freedom and peace I found when I finally gave up my hatred and allowed time to heal that terrible wound.” Lady Elgida stopped to draw a deep, shuddering breath.

  “After my husband died, I didn’t care whether I lived or not,” she continued. “But I did care what happened to my son and grandson and even to my foolish granddaughter. So, I warned Kinen of my suspicions and then I returned to Sapaudia, knowing if I were gone from Kantia, those who hated me would have no real reason to come against Kinath and its new lord. My good judgment then kept my loved ones safe.”

  “Your judgment is flawed now,” Garit snarled at her, apparently unmoved by her story. “You’ve brought yourself into danger, and I may not be able to protect you.”

  “My safety doesn’t matter,” Lady Elgida said. “Now it’s your little brothers who are in danger, only this time, my staying away will not keep them safe. Only my personal appeal to King Dyfrig, added to Calia’s testimony against Mallory can do that.”

  “Dear heaven above,” Garit muttered. “Grandmother, I have known double agents, even triple agents, whose minds were less convoluted than yours. Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to settle my differences with Mallory and his with me, even if doing so means one of us must die. Then you want me to rescue young Belai and Kinen in some miraculous way and make myself their protector until they come of age, all the while keeping you and Calia and Mairne safe?”

  “Exactly.” Lady Elgida smiled at him. “I know you can do it, Garit. And in the doing, you will discover a new reason to live.”

  “My lady, I salute you.” Laughing, Durand bowed low. “If you were just a few years younger, I’d court you. Seldom have I met so intrepid a woman.”

  “Don’t encourage her,” Garit warned.

  “While you are working these miracles, Garit,” Lady Elgida continued, “I also expect you to forgive Calia for not revealing who she is. She’d have done so the very first night you were at Saumar Manor if I hadn’t refused my permission.”

  “I will consider the matter.” Garit cast a deep frown at Calia. “First, I’ll have to be certain I can trust you.”

  “I understand,” Calia said. At his words a faint glimmer of hope entered her heart. Perhaps, in time, Garit would stop hating her because her father had killed the woman he loved. She knew she couldn’t ask for more than that, though. The love she felt for him would have to remain hidden deep inside her, never to be spoken of, never acknowledged to another person. The kisses they had shared a few nights ago would be the last he’d ever bestow on her. She told herself she must bear the loss of any affection he had begun to feel for her, so long as he didn’t despise her.

  “We need to make a plan,” Durand said. “Calia, are you willing to act as a double agent? Will you pass on to Mallory false information that Garit and I will provide, and then learn everything you can about your brother’s intentions and tell us what you know?”

  “Yes,” she said without hesitation. “The lives of young children are involved. Of course I’ll help.” Durand’s proposal seemed to her to be the only way she could redeem herself in Garit’s eyes. But he, it seemed, still nurtured doubts about her.

  “Can we be sure she’s trustworthy?” he asked. “How do we know she won’t betray us to Mallory?”

  “She’ll never betray us,” Durand said, “because she loves – she loves Lady Elgida, and Mairne, too. You can trust me in this, Garit. Over the years I’ve dealt with all degrees of men and women, both highborn and low, and I recognize an honest soul when I meet one. Calia will die rather than betray us.”

  “Yes,” Calia said, her voice trembling with emotion. “I swear it.”

  Watching her, noting the faint quiver of her lips when she spoke and the way she drew herself up and squared her shoulders, Garit wished he could be as certain of her as Durand was. He no longer intended to court and wed her. Considering whose daughter she was, he couldn’t even contemplate taking such a step.

  And yet, to his dismay, he still wanted her. His arms ached to enfold her. Seeing the tears that stood in her grey-green eyes, he longed to kiss that moisture away, and then to settle his mouth over hers for a sweet, tantalizing, yet satisfying kiss like those he had enjoyed during their tender interlude on the deck of The Kantian Queen.

  But she lied to you, he told himself, and turned his back on her and on the temptation she represented, to glare at his grandmother while he did his best to ignore the painful void in his heart.

  Lady Elgida paid no heed to his barely concealed emotions. She was too busy listening to what Durand was saying, and Garit realized that he’d do well to pay attention, too. He’d need to know what Durand was planning so he could protect his grandmother. After what he’d just heard, he held no doubt at all that Lady Elgida, despite her advanced age, was prepared to rush into danger as eagerly as any inexperienced knight rushed into battle.

  “We’ll need to remain here at Kinath for another day or two,” Durand said. He looked slowly around at the group assembled in Lady Elgida’s chamber, his glance including each person there as an accomplice in his plans. “During that time we will all gather as much information as possible about Mallory’s intentions. We will not reveal what we are about, not to anyone at all, nor will we react if provoked. So far as the inhabitants of Kinath are concerned, we are merely travelers who are grateful for a respite during a long journey, and for the promise of protection as we ride to Kerun City under Sir Mallory’s leadership. Is that understood?”

  “Yes,” came the response from everyone, except Garit.

  “The journey ends here,” Garit said. “I will not allow my grandmother to travel in company with Mallory. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Really, Garit—” Lady Elgida began.

  “I quite agree.” Durand raised a hand to stop Lady Elgida’s objection to what Garit had said. To Garit’s amazement, his grandmother fell silent at once.

  “My lady,” Durand said, “I hope you are good at pretense, for I will require your help.”

  “To do what?” Lady Elgida asked, looking excited.

  “First, to learn from Lady Fenella exactly when she and her husband intend to leave for Kerun. I haven’t been able to pry that information out of Mallory. Perhaps a woman will prove more effective.”

  “Fenella may not know Mallory’s plans,” Calia said. “Her convenience will not matter to him. He will simply expect her and all of their attendants to be packed and ready to leave whenever he is.”

  “At some point he’ll have to give the stable hands a bit of notice, so they can prepare the horses and have the baggage carts ready,” Anders pointed out.

  “Yes, indeed.” Durand nodded. “Since Mallory is going to court, he’ll be traveling in some state. That means he won’t be able to keep his plans secret from everyone who’s going with him. Now then; before Mallory’s departure, preferably when he is so close to leaving that remaining here will seriously inconvenience him, Lady Elgida will become ill.”

  “Will I?” Lady Elgida grinned at him.

  “You will be too sick to travel by land,” Durand continued, looking suitably grave and sorrowful. “In fact, you will be so weak that you won’t be able to sit a horse. We will have to carry you down that dreadful, winding hill path in a litter, and put you to bed aboard The Kantian Queen. Your two women will attend you, of course, for you will need their nursing skills. Garit will not want to leave his grandmother in her distress. As for me, I have no reason to desert the ship on which most of my worldly goods are presently stowed.”

  “Very clever,” Garit reluctantly acknowledged. “If your plan works, we will all be free of Mallory’s presence until we reach Keru
n.”

  “A journey which we ought to accomplish more quickly by sea than Mallory can do by land,” Durand added. “We should have ample time to present the information we gather here to King Dyfrig before Mallory arrives, along with the letter I am carrying noting King Henryk’s suspicions about certain of the Kantian nobles.”

  “We will also have time enough to demand that Dyfrig transfer guardianship of Belai and Kinen to Garit, who is, after all, blood kin to those boys,” Lady Elgida said, looking pleased. “Kinship counts for a good deal with the Kantians. Yes, Lord Durand, I agree. That is how we will proceed. I do appreciate a well-laid plan.”

  Except that well-laid plans don’t always unfold as intended, Garit thought, but did not say aloud.

  “What were you scheming about?” Mallory demanded of Calia an hour later when he intercepted her while she crossed the inner bailey. “Don’t think that I am unaware of what happens in this castle. I know you and your friends were closeted in Lady Elgida’s chamber for a long time, with that sour-faced man-at-arms standing outside the door to prevent anyone from hearing what went on in there.”

  “Oh,” Calia said, doing her best to appear innocent, though her heart was pounding in fear of him, “were you trying to eavesdrop? And you couldn’t bribe Winn to listen for you?” She kept walking across the inner bailey, heading for the little chapel. Mallory grabbed her elbow, stopping her.

  “I advise you not to tease me,” he warned in a chilling voice.

  Calia felt the cold touch of his corrupt Power. Her well-trained barriers were firmly in place, so he couldn’t detect her own Power. He never had recognized it in the past. Mallory’s contempt for her ran so deep that he didn’t believe she possessed any Power at all.

  “When have I ever dared to tease you, or make fun of you?” she asked. “Though you mocked me often enough for being ugly and stupid and baseborn, I never found the courage to taunt you.” Until now, she thought as Garit’s image rose in her mind. For his sake, to help him and to regain his trust, she’d face down all the demons in the world, even Mallory.

  “Tell me what you’ve learned,” he demanded.

  “Not much,” she said, following Duran’s instructions. “Lady Elgida rather likes Fenella and looks forward to spending time with her during the journey to Kerun City.”

  “Which says something about Lady Elgida’s intelligence,” Mallory responded with a sneer. “She’s welcome to Fenella’s company. The wench clings to me like a leech.”

  “I gather that your wife is fond of you,” Calia murmured, and forbore to comment on what that fondness said of Fenella’s intelligence.

  “She enjoys bed-sport and for the moment I am keeping her content,” Mallory said. “But she is stupid and a bore. I look forward to more lively and intelligent conversation with certain women at court. What now, dear sister? You look shocked. Every man is unfaithful when he has the chance. You and I know that better than most; it’s how we were conceived,” he finished with a wolfish smile.

  “Don’t you care for Fenella at all? If not, why did you marry her?” Calia cried.

  “I married her to get my hands on Kinath.” Mallory shrugged, closing the subject. “What else have you learned?”

  “Lady Elgida is overtired after the sea voyage. She claims she’ll be well enough to undertake the long ride to Kerun City with you, but I worry about her. She is quite old, you know, and more fragile than she appears.” These revelations were part of Durand’s plan to declare Lady Elgida too ill to travel by land just when Mallory was ready to leave Kinath. Durand had insisted they would need to drop a few hints in advance, to prepare Mallory to accept the idea. Calia hadn’t expected her brother to look so interested, though.

  “Let us hope that by the time the old lady reaches Kerun, she will be too tired and too unwell to cause any trouble for me,” he said.

  “She doesn’t plan to make any trouble,” Calia insisted. “All she wants is to meet her grandsons. She talks about them constantly. She is so proud that they’ve been made pages to Queen Laisren. I think she sees their appointments as a tribute to her late husband and her son.”

  “In fact,” Mallory told her, his gaze icy-cold on her face, “my efforts gained them their positions. My efforts, Calia, not the reputations of two men who are long dead.”

  “I rather thought that was the case, though I did not say so to her,” Calia said, wanting to pacify his easily stirred temper. “I’m afraid that is all I have to tell you at the moment. Garit and Lord Durand are concerned about Lady Elgida’s health. That’s why they were in her chamber.” To her relief, Mallory just shrugged at the explanation.

  “Where are you going?” he demanded.

  “To the chapel, to say a few prayers to the Great God Sebazious,” she answered. “I’ll offer a private thanksgiving for our safe sea voyage and a plea that the land portion of our journey will prove equally safe.”

  “Womanish prayers achieve nothing in this world,” Mallory declared with fine masculine arrogance. “Well, go on then if you must. But don’t linger too long. I want you at Lady Elgida’s side, or at Garit’s, to listen to everything they say.”

  “Yes, Brother.” Calia bowed her head meekly and stood where she was until Mallory made a disgusted remark about her religious devotion and stalked away.

  The chapel was small, damp and, like everything else Calia had seen at Kinath, it was utterly devoid of decoration. A plain wooden sun disk hung on the wall behind the altar, but no candlesticks or fair linen cloth softened the block of pale stone. Nor could Calia detect any lingering sign of a castle mage. Just as she had expected knowing Mallory, there were no prayer cushions to ease the discomfort of knees bowed to the stone floor.

  Feeling a little guilty for craving that bit of comfort, Calia bunched her wool skirt and her cloak together and knelt on the fabric. She wondered how often in the past Lady Elgida had come to the chapel seeking comfort. Then she made a promise to herself that she’d bring a pillow along if her mistress decided to visit.

  She didn’t know where Lord Belai or Garit’s father, Kinen, were buried. When she looked around she saw no indication of a crypt below the chapel. Perhaps the two previous lords had been interred where they died, near a field of battle.

  Slowly the silence began to envelop her. Calia bowed her head to whisper the ancient invocation re-enforcing the barriers that kept her Power hidden from others. As always, the phrases she had memorized during her time at Talier Beguinage cleared her mind, allowing a certain degree of peace to descend on her. The profound quiet filling her soul gave her comfort, eased her guilt over having deceived Garit, and allowed her to offer up a sincere prayer for the safety of everyone in Lady Elgida’s party and also for the two little boys who were the focus of Mallory’s evil menace.

  She was just about to rise when a step behind her made her turn.

  “I beg your pardon,” Garit said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your devotions.”

  “You aren’t interrupting. I have finished.” She trod on her hem as she tried to stand, then stumbled and almost fell. Garit caught her and for just a moment she was safely encircled by his strong arm. She longed to rest her head on his shoulder, but he stepped away.

  “Please,” she whispered, “here in this sacred place, tell me the truth. Can you forgive me?”

  “For lying?” His voice was so cold that she shivered to hear it.

  “I never lied to your grandmother. You know as much from her own lips. You also know that I wanted to tell you who my father was, but she would not allow it. She has her own reasons for what she does and they are usually good reasons, but I hated misleading you, Garit.”

  In her eagerness to convince him, she put out her hand toward him. To her surprise, he caught it and carried it to his lips. Then she was in his arms, crushed against his chest, and he was kissing her. Calia found little tenderness in his embrace. He was angry still, and he no doubt felt betrayed by her deception, despite her reasons for it. Those violent emot
ions were evident in the way he ravaged her mouth, forcing her lips apart, his tongue surging into her, taking, taking, until her knees buckled beneath her and only his arms kept her upright.

  He thrust her away suddenly and with a roughness that told her he didn’t really want to end the embrace.

  “Dear heaven,” he growled at her, “will you attempt to seduce me even here in this place of sacred Power?”

  “I was not seducing you!” she cried. “I was asking for your forgiveness. But if you cannot bring yourself to understand that I was only obeying your grandmother’s wishes, then I have nothing more to say to you. I will not beg again. Forgive me or not, as you please.”

  Now it was he who stretched his hand toward her, but she was walking out of the chapel and did not see. Nor did she hear his whispered words that would have called her back.

  “Calia, wait. Don’t go.”

  She left him there, alone, to stare around himself at the desolation of what had once been a welcoming and peaceful place. He could feel the chill of Mallory’s presence in the damp air, in the blank emptiness of the little chapel, and in all his bones. With his thoughts in turmoil and his heart aching, Garit fell to his knees before the denuded altar.

  “Dear heaven above, help me,” he pleaded. “Help all of us.”

  “Get out.” Mallory held the door to the lord’s chamber wide. A single jerk of his head signaled the maidservant to leave as quickly as she could. When she was gone he latched the door and advanced on his wife.

  “Mallory? Is something wrong?” Fenella began to look uneasy.

  “Aye,” he snarled. “I have a need.”

  “You have?” She watched him pulling up his tunic and lowering his hose to expose his huge erection. She licked her lips. “Before the midday meal? How scandalous. And, oh, Mallory my dearest, how very exciting. Just let me remove my gown.”

  “Leave it on. This won’t take long.”