Building Trust

by Kathleen Fuller

  That evening Grace hurried home from work. They weren’t busy and Patience said she would cover for her. Grace had been eager to leave. Her mind hadn’t been on her job anyway, but on Joel and her father. After hearing what had happened and why her father was angry, she wasn’t even thinking about her wedding anymore. She was just worried about her daed.

  Joel told her he was going to fix things, and she trusted that he would. She was upset when he told her what he’d done to her father, and by extension, her family. But she also understood that it was a mistake. Joel didn’t have a devious bone in his body. She knew that. She trusted him with everything. She loved him.

  And she loved her father.

  She couldn’t believe he’d held on to his anger all these years. What about forgiveness? What about grace? Her father was a devout man who quietly lived his faith but was devoted to it. How could he violate one of the main tenets of his beliefs? Forgiveness wasn’t a choice. It was a requirement. And although it could be hard, it benefited everyone. Now because her father hadn’t forgiven Joel, their lives were in turmoil.

  She went inside and found her mother in the kitchen starting supper. “Is Daed home?”

  Mamm shook her head. “Not yet. He should be soon, though.”

  “Oh.” She’d have to talk to him a little later then. She should have said something to him at breakfast, especially since she spent the previous evening in her room. But she couldn’t bring herself to broach the subject. All day she’d practiced what she would say, and now she’d have to wait longer to say it. “Do you need some help?”

  “Nee. We’re having bacon and tomato sandwiches with the rest of that potato salad left over from Sunday. Charity made apple cinnamon cupcakes for dessert.”

  Daed’s favorite. Seemed like everyone wanted to cheer him up.

  “I’ll geh take care of the horses.” Daed usually did the barn chores after supper, but it wouldn’t hurt for her to help him out.

  She’d just finished sweeping the barn floor when her father walked inside. “Looks pretty clean,” he said, still holding his lunch cooler in his hand. His gait was a little awkward as he walked toward her, reminding her how hard he worked. Sometimes he grimaced when he got up from the rocking chair, especially in colder weather. It was early fall and the weather was nice, but her father had obviously put in a hard day.

  “I’ll take this for you.” She set aside the broom and took his lunchbox. “Mamm has supper ready.”

  He looked at the cooler as she paused. “Trying to butter me up?”

  The words were light, but his expression was weary. She shook her head. “Nee. I wouldn’t do that. I do want to talk to you, but it can wait until after supper.”

  “About Joel, ya?”

  She nodded and held the handle of the cooler with both hands.

  Daed turned. “Ya. It can wait until after supper.”

  Grace barely tasted the crisp bacon and fresh tomato as she ate her supper. The garden was still producing a few more tomatoes, and they tasted sweet and delicious. At least they usually did. Everything tasted like sawdust now. She’d been quiet during the meal, but the rest of the family was back to talking. Which eased her mind a little bit, but didn’t bring back her appetite.

  “Grace.”

  She looked up as her father pushed back from the table. He didn’t say anything else, and she followed him outside. It was a little cool, and she hugged her arms around her body.

  “You said you wanted to talk.” He put his hands in the pockets of his pants. “I’m listening.”

  She turned to him, and all her carefully planned dialogue went out the window. “Joel is sorry. Can’t you see that? Can’t you forgive him for one little mistake?”

  Her father was silent for a moment. Then he said, “It wasn’t a little mistake.” He turned to her. “And I forgave him a long time ago.”

  “You could have fooled me.” At his sharp look she said, “Sorry.”

  He faced her, his expression relaxing. “Whether I forgive him or not doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t make him trustworthy. And working with me on the roofing job—”

  “Wait.” Her eyes widened. “He’s working with you?”

  “You didn’t know?”

  She shook her head. “Nee.” But excitement brewed within her. Joel was working with her father. That was perfect. He would see for himself what a great guy Joel was. Although she’d have to talk to him later and find out how he managed to get a job with the roofing company. But the fact that he did meant so much to her.

  “He didn’t tell you? See, you can’t trust him.”

  “Daed, I haven’t seen him since last night. Plus you said he couldn’t come over here anymore. He’s honoring your wishes.” She blew out a breath. “How can you get to know him when you keep putting roadblocks in his way?”

  “I don’t want to get to know him.”

  “Because if you do, then you’ll have to really forgive him. In your heart and soul. You haven’t been able to do that yet.” She bit her bottom lip. Had she gone too far with her accusations? She’d never spoken so directly to her father. Then again, never had so much been at stake.

  Daed rubbed the back of his neck. “You must think you know me pretty well.”

  “Daed, I—”

  He held up his hand. “You might be right. Maybe I haven’t forgiven him completely.”

  A little spark of hope ignited. “So yer going to give him a chance?”

  Turning from her to face the backyard, he said, “I don’t know.”

  Grace knew better than to push him. At least he was contemplating opening his heart and mind to Joel. And that was something, compared to the way he’d been yesterday. She went to him and put her hand on his arm. “Danki,” she said, her voice sounding thick. Then she went back in the house. She ran upstairs, got on her knees, and prayed for her father and Joel.

  CHAPTER 4

  Vernon stared at the last rays of the sunset in front of him. His daughter’s words echoed in his mind, and he knew they were true. He hadn’t forgiven Joel. Not completely. But every time he thought about the past, he couldn’t let go of the bitterness. He’d kept his distance from Joel, and he wasn’t surprised he was a good worker. Better than Mahlon, he had to admit. But that didn’t mean he could be trusted with Grace’s heart. Being able to nail tar paper to a roof didn’t show a man’s true integrity.

  “Here.” Ruby came up beside him and handed him a cup of coffee. Decaf, since he had to get to sleep soon. He took it and looked down at her, smiling his thanks.

  “That was a quick conversation you had with Grace.”

  “Were you eavesdropping too?” He rubbed the corner of his eyebrow.

  “Of course not. But I’ll admit to peeking out the window a time or two.”

  He chuckled and took a sip of the hot coffee. “I’m trying,” he said.

  “I know you are. That’s all we can do, other than ask God for help.”

  Something he hadn’t actually done. Since the bitter root had taken hold, he’d shut down communication with God. It felt empty, not talking to him, something he’d done every day of his life since he could remember. But anytime he started to pray, the words would dry up.

  Charity poked her head out the back door. “Someone’s here to see you,” she said. “He’s waiting on the front porch.”

  “Who is it—”

  The door shut and Charity disappeared.

  Vernon gripped the coffee cup before handing it back to Ruby. He was sure the visitor was Joel. The boy wouldn’t take no for an answer. He supposed deep down he appreciated his persistence, but right now he was more annoyed than anything.

  When he rounded the corner, it wasn’t Joel standing on the front porch. It was Abner King, Joel’s uncle. What was he doing here? “Abner,” he said, keeping his tone steady. He stopped at the top of the steps, making it clear he didn’t want to invite the man in. “What brings you by?”

  Abner came up the steps and stood in
front of Vernon. He put his thumb underneath one of his suspender straps. “I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.”

  “About what?” Vernon put his hands in his pockets, resisting the urge to clench them.

  “I think you already know.” He glanced over Vernon’s shoulder at the front door of the house, but Vernon didn’t move. Abner faced him. “Joel told me everything.”

  “About what?” he repeated. He wasn’t about to give away any information.

  Abner let out a curt laugh and leaned back on his heels. “Playing it near the vest, I see. I know you and I haven’t been close, but we’ve been cordial over the years. I’d like to think that wouldn’t change, seeing as we might become family soon.”

  Not if I have anything to do with it. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

  “Ya, and I wanted to ask you a question.” He stilled and dropped his hand from his suspender. Abner’s gaze turned icy. “Are you trying to get back at mei nephew for yer failure?”

  Vernon tensed, but he didn’t say anything.

  “Because that’s what it seems like to me. I didn’t think you’d be the kind of man who would blame a kinn for yer business going under. Mei nephew is a gut mann. Actually, more than gut. He has integrity, he’s a hard worker, and he must love yer dochder because I can’t figure out why else he would put me in a lurch to work with you for two weeks.” Abner sniffed and looked around the yard. “You seem to be doing all right for yerself.”

  His jaw clenched. Abner was well known to be the richest man in the district, and while he didn’t flaunt his money, he had an attitude about him. And in order for him to be as successful as he was, Vernon’s business had to go under. If not, they would be sharing the profits from the jobs in the area. Now he had the entire business to himself. And all because of Joel.

  “I don’t have any control over yer nephew,” he said, surprised at the calmness in his voice, since he felt anything but calm. “Except he will not marry mei dochder.”

  “Don’t be a fool.” Abner shook his head. “I’m surprised at you, Vernon. I’ve known you a long time. It’s not like you to be vengeful.” He took a step forward. “It’s not Christian of you either.”

  “Are you finished?”

  Abner took a step back. “Ya. I can see yer not to be reasoned with.” He headed for his buggy parked in the driveway. When he reached it, he turned around as if to say something else to Vernon, then shook his head again and got in the buggy.

  As he drove away, Ruby came up beside her husband. “What did Abner want?”

  “Nix.” Vernon spun around and charged into the house. He’d get an earful from Ruby about keeping her in the dark again, but right now he didn’t care. “It’s not like you to be vengeful.” The words echoed in his mind as he climbed the stairs to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Abner was right about that. He wasn’t vengeful. Or bitter. Or nursing a grudge.

  He lifted his head and looked in the mirror, water dripping from his salt-and-pepper beard. He hardly recognized the man in the reflection. What was happening to him? He didn’t like the knots in his stomach that seemed to grow bigger each day. He didn’t want his daughter and wife upset with him. But every time he thought of giving in, he’d imagine Joel sitting at his table. Spending holidays with him. Having him as part of the family. The man who betrayed him. The man who ruined him.

  And he couldn’t bear it.

  He dropped his damp face in his hands. Lord . . . help me.

  For the next week, Joel and Vernon barely spoke at work. A couple times Joel tried to eat lunch with him, only to have Vernon ignore him and walk off. The man was being childish now. Joel hadn’t made much headway in convincing Vernon to let him and Grace marry, and he was growing frustrated.

  Then there was Grace. He missed her so much. Although it had been tricky sometimes to date in secret, they’d managed not to have more than a couple days apart from each other. His heart ached to see her, to hold her. So much so that after he knew everyone in her house had gone to bed, he snuck over and tossed a couple pebbles at her window.

  She opened it and waved, her blond hair in a long braid over her shoulder. She pointed down, her signal that she was coming out to meet him. His heart thrummed in his chest.

  After a few minutes she came outside, her hair still uncovered, but she was wearing a dress. It was a little askew on her shoulders, as if she’d thrown it on. He straightened it, then took her hand and they ran to the back corner of the yard.

  The moon wasn’t as bright as it had been when he proposed. In fact, it was almost nonexistent. But that was a good thing, in case her father looked outside for some reason.

  “Joel,” she said, falling into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much.” She was whispering, even though she didn’t have to at this distance.

  He rested his chin on the top of her head. “I missed you too.”

  They held each other in the dark for a few minutes, the crickets and cicadas chirping around them, a lone bullfrog croaking in the distance. Finally, they separated. “Has he said anything to you?” Joel asked.

  She shook her head. “He’s been more sullen than ever.”

  “He’s like that at work too. Some of the guys were wondering if something was wrong with him.”

  “Something is.” Grace crossed her arms over her chest. “He’s stubborn and bullheaded.”

  “I understand why.” He reached out and touched the end of her braid. Her hair was silky soft. “He wants to protect you.”

  “I don’t need protecting.” She stepped toward him. “I need to be yer wife.”

  Her words were what he needed to fortify him. “I’m not giving up.”

  “Gut.”

  He peered down at her. Her expression was hard to see in the dim light, but he could tell she was doubting. “Were you worried I would?”

  She turned away. “Ya,” she said. “A little bit.”

  “Grace.” He tilted her chin toward him. “I love you. I don’t care if I have to badger yer vatter for the next ten years. I will marry you.”

  “It better not take that long.”

  “I’m sure it won’t.” He drew her into his arms again. “Yer vatter will see what a great mann I am soon enough.”

  “A great and modest mann,” Grace said with a chuckle.

  “Of course.” He looked up at the house. Somewhere inside Vernon was probably sound asleep. Joel envied him that. He hadn’t been able to sleep through the night since he’d proposed to Grace. And he wasn’t about to get a decent night’s sleep tonight either.

  At his bedroom window, Vernon let the curtain fall back in place. He pressed his lips together. He’d heard the noise outside, which sounded like pebbles hitting against the window. He’d crept out of bed and saw Joel standing in his yard. So this was how they had managed to date in secret. Vernon shook his head. He never would have heard the small noise if he hadn’t been wide awake, like he had been every night this week.

  He turned and saw the dark lump on his bed. Unlike Vernon, Ruby had been able to sleep. He was glad for that. There was no sense in both of them being exhausted come morning.

  He looked at the window again. Grace should be outside by now. If he went downstairs he would catch Joel in the act of disobeying him. It would cement his argument to Grace that the boy was untrustworthy. All he had to do was go downstairs, and he would put the final nail in the casket of their relationship.

  But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d spent more time in prayer, asking God to break him of the bitterness and resentment. But he hadn’t. If anything, it had strengthened. Even seeing Joel at work getting along well with his colleagues grated. The boy seemed to come out on top with everything. It wasn’t fair.

  But he wasn’t being fair to his daughter either. Ruby had stopped telling him that, saying that since he wasn’t going to listen to her, she wasn’t going to waste her words anymore. Patience and Charity acted like everything was normal, but Grace was sullen. His ch
eerful daughter had lost her spark, and he was the reason for it.

  He slipped back in bed and closed his eyes. But sleep didn’t come. He had to do something about Joel and Grace. He’d have to give them his blessing. Not because he wanted to. Or even because the bitterness was less. He would have to ignore the pain in his heart, peel his pride away, and put his daughter first. He finally realized he had to think of her before himself.

  The next morning Grace left the house early and went to see her sister Faith. She lived a little more than a mile away, and Grace rode her bicycle at top speed. She didn’t want to be late for work. As it was, Mr. Furlong had noticed she’d been distracted, and if she didn’t get her act together he might let her go. She hadn’t planned to tell Faith about her engagement until after Daed relented. Patience and Charity had agreed to keep it a secret. But Grace couldn’t talk to them about Joel. Neither of them had boyfriends—at least that she knew about. But her older sister was married and had experienced her own difficult journey to the altar. Grace thought if she didn’t talk to someone, she would burst.

  “Hi,” Faith said, looking surprised when she opened the door. “What brings you by so early?”

  “Can we talk?”

  Her sister’s expression turned serious. “Sure. Come on in.”

  Faith led her to the kitchen, where Silas was putting bread on the table. “Hey, Grace. Nice to have you over for breakfast.”

  “Breakfast will have to wait.” Faith walked over to the table. She put two slices of ham, a fried egg, and some butter between two slices of bread and handed them to Silas.

  “Breakfast on the geh?” Silas said, lifting a brow.

  “Do you mind?”

  He shook his head and smiled. “Nee. It won’t hurt me to get to work early. Might shock Daed, though. Bye, Grace.” He headed out the back door.

  “One day his vatter will retire,” Faith said as she went to the stove and poured a cup of coffee from the percolator. “In another twenty years.”