Desired Heat [Men of Iron Horse 5] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Morgan Fox

  Sex. Only Sex.

  At least she could pretend that was what it had been for her.

  She dialed Layla’s number and she picked up on the first ring. “Liza?”

  “Hey, sis,” she said, trying not to sound as exhausted as she felt. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m great. Is everything okay?”

  No. Not really. “Sure, why do you ask?”

  Layla laughed. “You haven’t called in a while, that’s all.”

  Guilt sunk deep in her chest. “I know and that’s why I’m calling. I’ve been such an ass this last year. I’ve thought only about myself and I really need to stop doing that. I miss my sister.”

  “I miss you, too,” Layla said in her sweet, Kentucky voice. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?”

  Not sitting in my apartment sulking, that’s for sure. “Nothing really. I just got back in town from a long trip.”

  “I could’ve guessed that.” Layla snorted, a sound that warmed her heart with childhood memories. “I’m working with Sam up at Iron Horse tonight. Come up and see us.”

  “I don’t know—”

  “You called me, remember? Besides, it’s the last week you’ll get the two-for-one special,” she teased. “Next week, Sam starts working over at the new Iron Horse Bar & Grill.”

  “That’s great,” Liza cheered, sounding oblivious.

  “It’s right in your neck of the woods, so maybe you’ll see her more often now, too.”

  Her pulse quickened. Liza could hear the need in her sister voice and knew that Layla wanted to see her so badly. She could suck it up for the night. She could do it for her sister. And maybe she’d see Jason, too.

  “All right. I’ll come up. What time?”

  “The bar’s open already so come up when you can. I gotta run, there’s a customer waiting. Love you. See you soon.”

  Before she could reply, Layla hung up the phone. Liza headed up to shower. She needed to clean off the day’s travel and put on something other than a business suit. She strolled into her closet and found a sexy black skirt, knee high black boots, and a button-down blouse that would look amazing on her as long as she wore her padded bra. Digging through her underwear drawer she found a pair of matching red lacy panties and bra.

  Once she finished showering and dressing, she headed for Iron Horse. Sitting in the parking lot, she thought she might get sick. She was nervous. Not because Jason might be inside, but more so that she hadn’t visited the one place she should’ve long ago. Iron Horse wasn’t the scary place she’d made it out to be. Meeting Jason had helped her to see that.

  Moving into the bar, she spotted Sam and Layla. They were both assisting customers. She spotted one available barstool and headed for it.

  “Hey.”

  Liza froze as she was greeted by a man she didn’t know. “Hey,” she muttered back to him. Trying to move around him, she added, “Excuse me.”

  “Are you here with anyone?”

  Her chest rose and fell in heavy pants. She was cornered and suddenly she was saying something she shouldn’t. “Do you know the owner here?”

  “No,” he said, his brow furrowed.

  “Well, I’m his girlfriend.”

  Tight hands gripped her shoulders and she shook. “You can go now.” The sound of Jason’s voice sent fire slouching through her veins. “I can take it from here.”

  The guy returned to his table.

  A shiver ran up and down her spine as Jason’s voice rumbled into her ear. “How come you never called?”

  That was exactly her thought. Wait? Had he been waiting for me to— “Why didn’t you call me?”

  When she faced him, there was a flicker of insecurity in his eyes, one she knew intimately when it came to Jason. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to. We never really talked about boundaries.”

  “With the way we left things the week before, seriously?”

  “Sex was good…great. But you left me in bed alone with a spare key to lock up and then you—” He pursed his lips, looking frustrated. “Yeah, that was why I hadn’t called. But it’s nice to see you finally gracing us with your presence.”

  His expression didn’t change. The lines around his eyes deepened, as if he hadn’t slept in days. The sight of him hovering over her, made her want to wrap her arms around him and press her cheek to his chest for comfort. Damn, she’d missed him.

  “I wanted to call,” she confessed, melting like butter to the floor as she finally reached to touch him, stepping closer. “I was afraid you’d think I was getting too clingy. Our arrangement is new for me.”

  He eliminated any space between them, giving her a sweet embrace. He leaned down to nestle his face at the crook of her neck, sweeping her hair to the side. “It’s new for both of us,” he corrected. “My mornings have been off all week.”

  She smiled as he eased back, thankful to hear the deep timbre of his voice and see the softness in his gaze return. “Mine, too.”

  “I figured you were ending things.”

  His admission left her gaping at him. She feared that he was doing the same thing to her. She grinned, relief swimming around in her thoughts. “That’s not what I want.” In fact, it was the last thing she wanted. More of him, more of what they were experiencing together was what she wanted.

  “Then maybe you should stick around for a while until I can get out of here. I’ve got something I’d like to show you.”

  She nodded, but before she could move, he leaned in and whispered, “By the way, I liked that you called yourself my girlfriend.” He turned his face to drag his lips tenderly over her cheek. Then with one final look at her, he returned to doing whatever it was he did at the bar.

  Stunned, she stood there collecting her thoughts. She felt as if she’d been steamrolled by a train. Did Jason want more than what they’d agreed upon? Her thoughts were moving so fast, she was dizzy. She needed a drink.

  “Liza,” Layla called out as she moved around the bar and rows of people to hug her. “I’m so glad you came. I wasn’t sure if you would.”

  She gulped wondering if Layla had seen her with Jason. “I didn’t want to miss another opportunity to see you…or Sam.”

  Layla guided her up to the bar and she sat down. “What can I get you?”

  She thought back to the beer she’d shared with Jason and said, “That light beer, the one from the oldest American brewery.”

  Layla eyed her, her mouth gaping. “Yuengling?”

  “That’s it.”

  “You drink beer now?”

  She shrugged, remembering the day she’d tried it at the bar with Jason. That had been a good day, one she’ll never forget. “It’s better than most of the crap my company throws at me. I gag half the time and the other half I spit it out when no one’s looking.”

  Layla laughed as Sam popped the top off the beer and slid it over to her with a big grin on her face. “Good to see you’ve decided to take a stroll on the dark side.”

  Liza rolled her eyes at Sam’s playful dig. “So how’s dating and married life for the two of you?”

  Layla beamed. “It’s perfect.”

  Sam hiked her thumb toward Layla. “What she said.”

  Liza sipped her beer, a sting of jealousy pinching her heart. “I’m glad to hear that. You two do look happy.”

  “Great sex can do that for a girl.”

  Liza gaped at Layla. “Since when do you talk like that?”

  “I blame Brynn and Zerina for that, they’re corrupting me with their lack of filters.” She snorted a girlish giggle.

  Sam rolled her eyes. “I blame Luke.”

  They laughed.

  “It’s good to see you both,” Liza said, reaching forward to take their hands with hers. “I really have been an ass to be so distant. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re here now,” Layla said.

  “Just don’t be an ass anymore,” Sam replied with a knowing smirk.

  Liza’s heart beat heavy, her thoughts on what she’d
missed over the last year focusing strictly on her job. Did finding success mean she couldn’t have a work-life balance? Or was that a sacrifice she was going to have to make? “I won’t. Not anymore.” And she meant it.

  It was time she made some adjustments in her life. She could have her career and still be part of the lives of those she cherished. It shouldn’t matter if they didn’t dress or act a certain way. She’d been a fool to let others who had that viewpoint manipulate her into thinking it did matter. It was time she did what was in her heart and stop worrying about what everyone else was doing.

  * * * *

  Sam barged into Jason’s office, wearing the biggest smile on her face he’d ever seen. “What?” he asked when she sat down in the chair across from him.

  “You and Liza are dating, aren’t you? Really dating.”

  That was not what he thought she was about to ask him and he certainly hadn’t expected her to ask with a giant smile plastered on her face. “No. Why? Did she say something?”

  “No, but first you both agree to this secret lovers pact.”

  “It’s not a pact,” he corrected. Or was it?

  “Whatever.” She paused. “Then you get her on your motorcycle and now she’s sitting in the bar talking with her sister drinking a beer that’s been your favorite since the day I met you.”

  “She is?” Warm delight filled his chest and he couldn’t hide the grin.

  “You’re dating,” Sam said with a satisfied smug look.

  The beat in his heart slowed, uncertainty clouding his mind. “No. We are still…something else.”

  “Well what the hell’s wrong with you? She clearly likes you and you like her. Neither one of you is running away from the other, so what—” She scoffed. “Is it because of me and Layla?”

  “We don’t mix,” he told her. “She and I are good in bed and when it’s just the two of us, but when we start to include the outside world…everything goes to hell.”

  Sam frowned. “What does that mean?”

  He leaned back in his chair and raked his fingers through his hair. “Look at me, Sam, do you think I’m country club material?”

  Sam snickered. “Yes.” He glared at her. “Okay. No, but so what.”

  “We’re at different places in our lives. She’s just getting started. I’m ten years older than her and I don’t give a fuck what people think. She does.”

  Sam opened her mouth to speak but closed it. There was no possible way to argue with him. He was only saying what she’d clearly known all along.

  “I want her. I do,” he confessed, surprised that it had been so easy to share that aloud. “But if she can’t put aside her fear of what others think about me—”

  “What about your fears, Jason Whitmore?” Her tone was sharp, almost cruel.

  “What?”

  “You’re being a pussy right now, acting like it’s all about her fears. You’re scared shitless that she’s right. That those one-sided pricks won’t like you.”

  What they hell was she talking about? That wasn’t it at all. He couldn’t risk destroying what Liza had worked so hard to build. “I could ruin her career.”

  “Bullshit. You could get your precious ego crushed if they didn’t like you. You’ve never been disliked by anyone in your life and the thought that these uptight people thinking they’re better than everyone else has your nuts in a twist.”

  Her words stung. “Sam, I’m thinking about Liza and the fact that she has to work with these people. It has nothing to do with me,” he argued.

  “Bullshit,” she spat again. “I think it has to do with both of you. I’ve seen you dressed to the nines. They’d trip on their dicks if they saw the man I know you to be. The one that wouldn’t let a group of snobby fuckers dictate a damn thing.” She stood. “I’m sorry the two of you can’t walk around with sunshine and rainbows shooting out of your asses, but Daniel and I had a rough go at it, and had I let my fear stop me, I wouldn’t have the husband I’ve always wanted holding me at night. Maybe it’s time you think about what it is you really want out of life.”

  She slammed his office door and he stared at the dark wood, blown away by what she’d said. Sam knew him better than he’d known himself. Being with Liza had been easy when it was just sex. When his heart started to fog his mind, it had gotten complicated. His damn ego had stopped him from calling her when she was on her trip even though he’d wanted to a hundred times. Was he really that blind to his emotions? Was he that concerned that he’d end up feeling rejected and inadequate?

  Yes.

  God love Sam for seeing right to the core of him. He was in love with Liza—a consuming thought that had him terrified beyond measure. He had been sabotaging himself. The trouble was, he didn’t know what to do about it.

  * * * *

  “Damn it, Sam,” he growled. “How many beers did you let her have?” Jason pulled Liza up against him, her limp frame pressing against him like a sack of potatoes.

  “She didn’t seem drunk at all,” Layla said, sliding a glass of water over the counter toward her. “I only gave her one beer the entire night.”

  He eyed Sam. “And how many did you give her?”

  “Four.”

  Layla gaped. “Sam!”

  “What? She was thirsty.”

  “And a lightweight who never fucking drinks beer,” he grumbled, irritation scalding him like hot water.

  Sam folded her arms over her chest. “Looks like you’ll have to take her home, Jason. I’m meeting Daniel now and Layla has a date with Luke.” She feigned a frown and his eyes narrowed on her.

  This was Sam’s plan. Get Liza drunk to get him to take her home. But he’d already planned to be with Liza, so all Sam did was screw his night up. He groaned in frustration.

  “I wouldn’t feel right leaving her alone,” Layla said. “Luke will understand.”

  “Luke will understand what?” Luke appeared from around back. “What’s going on?”

  Layla moved to hug him. “My sister came to see me tonight and she had a few too many. Do you mind—”

  “I’ll take her home,” Jason said, cutting Layla’s words off. “I planned to stop by the other bar anyway. It’s on my way.” He faced Layla. “I’ll make sure Liza’s safe and cared for.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Sam muttered, but loud enough for him to hear.

  Dismissing Sam’s remark, Jason carried Liza to her car and with Layla’s help got her securely fastened with the seatbelt. He grabbed his overnight bag from his motorcycle and tossed it into the backseat. Since the second night he’d stayed with Liza, he always carried one.

  “How will you get back to get your bike?” Layla asked.

  “I’ll call for a cab or something.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, hugging him. “Thank you.”

  “I love you, kid,” he told her, kissing the top of her head.

  “I love you, too.”

  He slid into Liza’s car, adjusting the seat all the way back. She drove a sports car that offered a guy his size little leg room. He managed to get somewhat comfortable and headed to her apartment. When he got there, he slung his bag over his shoulder and pulled her gently from the car, kicked the door closed, and locked it. Then he climbed the stairs to her front door and fumbled with the key in the lock before finally getting it open. Never had he climbed so many damn stairs while holding someone. It wasn’t easy, no matter how small she was.

  Once he had her on her bed, he helped her out of her clothing and under the sheets. For a long moment, he stared down at her, looking at the sweet face of a woman that drove him wild. Sighing hard, he kissed her lips gently and descended the stairs. He wasn’t ready for bed. He needed some time to unwind. He found the remote and flipped through the channels. Nothing was on. He went into her kitchen and helped himself to a bottle of water. There were no snacks in her pantry and the refrigerator was bare.

  What’s the poin
t of having food in your home if you’re never around to eat it, right?

  He couldn’t take the silence that filled his ears and the thoughts that were choking him. Sam had stirred him with her accusations, alarming him with the truth. He hadn’t considered just how affected he was by his secret affair with Liza until Sam had called him on it. At first, the arrangement with Liza was a sweet deal, but something changed. Not with her, but with him.

  Grumbling to himself, he had to get away. Had to clear his head. He grabbed his duffel bag, glanced up the stairs one final time, and headed out. He was only a few miles from his bar and he’d walk there if needed. He’d sleep on the fucking pool table if he had to. He’d call a cab in the morning, but right now, he was going into hiding.

  Once he reached his new bar, he opened it up and locked the door behind him. He entered the kitchen, switched on the lights, grill, and fryer, and began making himself something to eat. He was starving. He didn’t give a shit that it was most likely emotional eating. A burger and fries were exactly the kind of food that would comfort his troubled soul.

  As he waited for everything to finish cooking, he moved into the bar area and grabbed a beer. In a few gulps, he had it finished off, and was reaching for another one.

  The timer on the fryer sounded and he returned to the kitchen. In a few short minutes he had a delicious hamburger with all the fixings and a large order of fries calling his name. He moved to the main part of the bar and sat down to eat his burger. He ate it like a man starved.

  Finally, after three beers and a full belly, he was tired enough to contemplate sleep. Sam’s office had a fluffy new sofa in it. He took off his shoes and shirt and lay down on it, letting the pull of exhaustion take over.

  “When I suggested you take Liza home, I’d hoped you’d take the hint and stay with her.” Sam’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

  He slung his arm over his face and moaned. “Go away.”

  “You go away. This is my office,” she reminded him.

  He moved his arm and squinted his eyes to look up at her as she flipped on the light. “Why are you here?”

  She shook her head, wiggling her butt to sit beside him on the sofa. He moved enough to let her. “I’m an asshole and I had to apologize. I went to Liza’s and saw you walking here. I’ve been sitting in my car for an hour getting up enough courage to come in here and tell you I’m sorry.”