Tattooed Hearts

by C. A. Harms

  She would fight me, I knew that already. But I wouldn’t give in.

  I needed her.

  I wanted her, and nothing was going to stop me from feeling myself move inside her.

  Jenny stopped next to me, and I had yet to move.

  I allowed her to adjust the pillow and tuck in the blanket at my side.

  But as she leaned over to kiss my cheek, I reached out and griped her waist.

  “Sean,” she whispered hastily, but I could hear the excitement in her voice. “You’re gonna hurt yourself,” she added as I pulled her body against mine.

  “I’m good,” I assured her. “I’ve got painkillers in me, and right now I just want you on top of me moving those sweet hips.”

  “But you—” she started to argue, just as I knew she would.

  “No,” I said, “no arguing, baby. No words, just me moving inside you, making you feel good.”

  Carefully I began lowering her tiny shorts, feeling everything I could along the way.

  “I’ve missed you,” I told her. “Missed feeling your skin against mine.”

  She gasped when I lifted my hand to cup her between her legs. “I know you want to fight me on this,” I whispered as she sagged against me. “I know you think I need to rest, but all I need, baby, is you.”

  My fingertip slid along her wet center, and I groaned at just how ready she already was for me.

  “Give me what I crave, Jenny,” I demanded. “Stop thinking so much and come take what I’m offering.”

  I reached into my sweats and pulled out my hard cock. Her gaze raked over my body, and I could see the hunger in her eyes when she found how hard I was. Her earlier hesitation was gone and replaced with a need that matched my own.

  “Straddle me, sweetheart,” I said as I pulled her hips toward me, giving her no choice but to move over me. “There ya go,” I praised. “Now take me,” I demanded and she wasted no further time as she sunk down over me, taking all of me.

  “Fuck yeah,” I moaned.

  I got what I wanted, because she never fucking had a choice.

  She began to move and I kept my hands on her hips, loving the way she swiveled and rocked against me.

  She took what I had to give, and moaned as I placed my thumb against her clit.

  “Sean,” she whispered as her head tilted back and her mouth gaped. She felt like pure fucking heaven. Silky-smooth and so unbelievably perfect.

  JENNY

  “WE CAN TAKE him down to the garage with us.”

  Landyn was wired from being cooped up in the house, and the hospital prior to that. Monty and the guys were down at the garage, and honestly I was unsure exactly what they were working on. I assumed Sean wouldn’t be able to even consider getting back behind the wheel of a race car for months. The idea made my stomach ache with worry, but I knew asking him to never race again was unfair. I’d have to face it and pray like crazy an accident never happened again.

  “Please, Momma,” Landyn begged, bringing me back to the present.

  I tousled his hair and bent over to kiss his forehead. “You be good and listen to Monty,” I told him with the look he and Sean call my “motherly look.”

  “Promise.” Landyn nodded and turned to walk toward the door. In the short time we’ve been here in North Carolina, Landyn had changed so much. Obviously Sean was a great influence on him, and their friendship was one to admire. They were inseparable, exactly as Sean and I were at Landyn’s age. If I could choose anyone to have my son idolize and grow such a deep attachment too, it would be Sean.

  I stood in the frame of the open back-sliding door and watched as Landyn bounced around alongside Monty. That guy was also incredible, because since the accident, he has either called Sean daily or made a trip out to the house to see him regularly.

  I turned around and rushed for the phone as it rang in the living room. Sean hadn’t had the easiest night because his leg made getting comfortable impossible. It had only been a couple hours since he was finally able to fall asleep soundly. Skidding to a stop only a few feet from where he slept, I grabbed his phone from the table and said a quick hello as I hurried toward the kitchen.

  “I need to speak with Mr. Nichols, please.” The voice was stern and arrogant.

  “Mr. Nichols is resting. May I take a message?” I said, trying to hold back my own irritation at the man’s tone.

  “Sleeping,” he said, and I could sense his skepticism. “Well, it’s nearly noon.”

  “Yes, I’m fully aware of the time.” If this ass didn’t leave a message immediately, I was going to hang up and silence the ringer.

  “My name is Stanley Wainwright,” he finally offered. “I’m the attorney Mr. Nichols hired to handle some affairs back in Texas.”

  My stomach dropped. “Some affairs?” I questioned, but he remained silent. I’m sure due to attorney-client privilege, he was unable to share more than that. “Would those affairs have anything to do with Robby Whiteman?” I asked, hoping he’d give me at least a bit of info.

  “Could you have Mr. Nichols return my call, please? We have some matters to discuss, and I need to know how he’d like me to proceed.”

  I nodded as if he could see me.

  “Ma’am?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, I’ll tell him.”

  He ended the call without saying good-bye, and I remained standing there holding the phone.

  Why hadn’t Sean mentioned he’d hired an attorney?

  I wondered if this had anything to do with the fact my own attorney wouldn’t return my calls.

  I moved back toward the living room and sat in the chair opposite the couch, which was Sean’s temporary bed. It was easier for him to sleep there as the stairs we too hard for him to climb right now with his leg. I watched him sleep in silence.

  Part of me was irritated he’d taken my personal matters into his hands without my knowledge, yet another part of me felt protected. Growing up, Sean had always been my protector. When anyone hurt my feelings or even pissed me off, he stopped that shit fast. He even had words with my father on occasion.

  Now I was hurt that he wouldn’t confide in me about what he was doing. After all, this situation affected me and my son, so I had the right to know.

  When he stirred, I remained seated, waiting for him to fully wake up. It took a few minutes as he tried to reposition himself a couple of times. Even though I was irritated, I felt horrible that he had such a difficult time resting.

  When his eyes finally opened, he looked at me almost as if he’d felt my presence.

  “Hey, pretty girl,” he rasped.

  Him calling me that made my heart race. It was an endearing name he used often when speaking to me, and it reminded me of the connection we shared not only now but years ago too. It was yet another thing that made remaining where I was now difficult. Distance was best if I wanted answers.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, and I shouldn’t have been one bit surprised that he could see right through me.

  I lifted his phone and shook it slightly. “Stanley Wainwright called.” He didn’t react like I assumed he would. He held my stare, showing no signs of panic. “Mind filling me in on what Mr. Wainwright is assisting you with back in Texas?”

  Silence settled over us, and I could tell his mind was racing from the determined look in his eyes.

  “Your lawyer was a dumbass,” he said seriously without lowering his gaze.

  He wasn’t entirely wrong, but he was all I could afford at the time. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the chair, offering a slight nod as if to say, “Okay, now continue.”

  “Do you know how hard it is to wait for this entire thing to be over so I can finally make you mine?” I hadn’t been expecting that question. “As if knowing he had you for six years isn’t hard enough, that asshole still stands between me and what I want.”

  I shook my head and leaned forward so I could once again explain that I was never truly Robby’s, but Sean stopped me before I c
ould speak.

  “You may have had a shit marriage full of ugliness, but you still were unattainable. Now I have to put off even more of my wants because you have some shit lawyer dragging his fucking feet.” He took a deep breath. “So yes, I went to see my attorney. And yes, I hired one in Texas, because I’m ready for you to be free of him. And damn it, Jen, I’m ready to start our life together the way we should have years ago. I want you and Landyn with me always.”

  “I want that too,” I confessed.

  “Then let me do this. Please,” he added before I could say anything more. I could see the desperation in his eyes. “There are so many things your lawyer could have done to get this divorce to be granted, yet he sat back and did nothing,” Sean informed me. “He could have claimed abandonment, for one, from all those times Robby took off and left you and Landyn to fend for yourselves. Not to mention the abuse. It may not have always been physical, but it was definitely emotional abuse. I want you rid of him, Jenny, and if I have to hire a high-priced attorney that is a lethal son of a bitch to get it done, then damn it, that is exactly what I’ll do. You don’t know how hard it is to wake up every fucking day knowing you’re still married to him.”

  I could see the anger in Sean’s eyes, and I remained silent to let him continue, even though I felt like the weight of a hundred bricks was pressing tightly on my chest.

  “I want that,” he whispered. “I want you as my wife.”

  My stomach tensed with excitement.

  “I want you to carry my children.” Sean’s eyes were glossy as he stared back at me.

  I’d been angry at him for hiding things from me, but now it only made me love him more. Yes, it may have been slightly controlling, but I think he did it to protect me and Landyn from more harm than we’d already faced.

  I wanted everything he did. I wanted to grow old with Sean by my side as our children grew and one day surrounded us with grandchildren. And I knew Sean would provide us with a lifetime of happiness.

  I stood and lowered myself to the floor beside the couch. I wasn’t surprised he’d chosen to sleep here; that thing was the most comfortable couch I’d ever sat on.

  When I was close enough for him to touch me, he placed his palm against my cheek.

  “Don’t you think we’ve lost enough time?” he asked, and my vision blurred with tears.

  I nodded as I leaned into his touch.

  “It’s our turn,” he whispered. “I want to show you what a true marriage is. One full of so much love you get lost in it.”

  I closed my eyes and attempted to fight back my emotions. But when Sean’s lips pressed firmly to mine, I gave in to them.

  “I love you, Jenny. I will never again let go of the chance to have you. If it means I have to play dirty or piss you off with my controlling ways, then I’ll deal, because losing you will never be an option.”

  A love like Sean’s was all-consuming and all-powerful. He loved so deeply that at times I felt like I was drowning in its beauty. He loved us unconditionally, so I let go. I stopped worrying about what it would take to get my divorce granted and allowed Sean to take control.

  And strangely that gave me peace.

  SEAN

  “WE HAVE TO go back to Irving.”

  Saying the words made my stomach drop. I didn’t want Jenny or Landyn anywhere near Robby, but it was unavoidable.

  “Why?” she asked hesitantly. She’d gotten a taste of life without Robby in it, without his harmful words or angry stares. And even though we had to go back, she wouldn’t feel those things again. I could guarantee that.

  Robby may have felt he got away with the shit he’d put Jenny and Landyn through, but I was going to get revenge for that, and for the years he took from us.

  I stepped forward and pulled her into my arms. “Stanley needs a signed affidavit and we need to appear in front of the judge to plead your case,” I explained, holding her close. “They’ll require the same from Robby, and we know he’ll fight it, but you have so many things going for you right now.”

  “Really?” she asked, sounding unconvinced. “Because I feel this is only going to be yet another disappointment.”

  “I can assure you that this time it’s different. Stanley has pushed every person he could to move this along. The fact Robby has been in and out of trouble and has made no attempts to contact you about Landyn is one more example of how he’s abandoned his son.” And that was Robby’s loss, because that kid was amazing. I was more than happy to step into Landyn’s life and fill that void.

  “He also has an ongoing record of abuse and neglect,” I continued.

  “How?” she asked. “Because all this time, it was always my word against his.”

  “Stanley has signed documents from a number of people who’ve been in your life over the last six years.”

  Surprise filled her eyes, and she scrunched her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

  “Who?” she asked.

  “Your father for one,” I said and she flinched. “Stanley is very persuasive.”

  “What did he do, threaten to out him to the town as a terrible father?” Jenny was attempting sarcasm, but I could see right through it. She’d spent her entire life wishing her father would show her even one ounce of support; that he would stand behind her and take her side for once.

  I was also surprised that Stanley had received a testimony from Arnold Preston. I’d never in my life expected he would admit to his mistakes.

  “Stanley said he disclosed some surprising information from the last six years, dating all the way back to the night before you were married.” Mr. Wainwright had only shared a small amount of the statement with me, but from that alone I only wanted even more to make that sorry sack of shit pay for the years he stole from the woman I love. Looking back now, I know I wouldn’t have turned Jenny away had she come to me prior to her marriage to Robby and told me how she felt. I would have loved her and Landyn the way they both deserved. Hell, I already looked at that little man as my own.

  “I’m not sure I can face my father,” Jenny confessed. “I appreciate what he’s done, but I’m not sure his change of heart all these years later makes up for his own set of wrongs.” She shrugged. “Maybe that makes me sound selfish.”

  “No,” I said.

  “It does,” she insisted as she pressed her finger to my lips to shush me. “But I feel like I have that right. For years people took things from me, and I think I earned the right to be selfish with my heart.”

  “Completely earned,” I said against the finger she was still firmly pressing against my lips.

  “But never with you,” she whispered back, and I smiled against her finger. Slowly she lowered her hand, and I leaned in to offer her a sweet kiss.

  “I plan to be very selfish with your heart,” I confessed, “because it belongs to me.”

  “Yes, it does,” she assured me. “You and Landyn.”

  I lay in bed awake long after Jenny had fallen asleep in my arms. I suffered the torturous hike up the stairs because I had to sleep with her body touching mine. I needed it.

  Each time I closed my eyes, I dreamed of the day I walked away from her all those years ago. I’m not sure if that was because we were leaving for Irving tomorrow or because of the sadness in Jenny’s eyes from our earlier conversation, but whatever the reason, those images haunted me.

  Only this time in my dreams, she was smiling and Robby was holding her close. The happy couple waved good-bye to me as my heart shattered with each step I took.

  And it all felt so real.

  I woke each time feeling raw and fearing my time with Jenny was all some cruel fucking joke and I would wake up for real to find it was all a dream. That I would never have the chance to feel the love I had felt every day since I brought Landyn and Jenny home with me.

  The alternative was staying awake, listening to her breathing at my side. That way I could touch her and feel her warm skin against mine. I could place my hand over her heart and feel it beat aga
inst my palm. And I could press my lips to hers, and even if it was only for a few seconds, a calm would fill my body. At least then I knew she was real, that this was real.

  I was so lost in Jenny.

  She stirred in my arms; another reassurance that she was real and mine to protect. “I love you,” I whispered, not expecting her to say anything in return but feeling better for saying it. “When this is all over, when you’re free of him, I’m gonna truly make you mine.”

  I grinned when she made a face and lifted her hand to rub her cheek.

  “I’m gonna marry you and give you the best kind of life,” I told her, still happy from my confession alone. “I want a big family full of love and laughter. I’ve always wanted those things with you. I’m just sorry I made you wait so long for me to come back for you.”

  I faced that guilt every day.

  “But I’m here now, and I’m never leaving you again.” I pushed the hair away from her face so I could see all of her. “That’s a promise.”

  JENNY

  IRVING HAD ALWAYS been my home. I’d loved it even though it was filled with heartache. But now it felt like a place I wanted to forget. The memories it held only made me feel lost all over again.

  For the last few months, Sean had surrounded Landyn and me with so much beauty and so much light that this place only seemed to taint the solace I had finally found.

  We’d spent two days driving, taking our time getting here. I wanted to leave it all behind and escape back to the little island I had been whisked away to and drown in the happiness I felt there.

  Only I had to face my demons before I could fully move on. But that didn’t mean I had to like it.

  I’d be lying if I said I still wasn’t shocked by my father’s sudden change in character, but there it was in black and white, his statement about how he forced us into marriage and he spent the last six years trying to hide the fact our marriage was in shambles. It included the times Robby came to him and complained I’d ruined his life and made him miserable by trapping him. Because getting pregnant was all my fault, apparently. My father then went on to describe how he bribed Robby to stick it out and compensated him for his “troubles.”