Moribund

by Genevieve Iseult Eldredge

  A huge part of me wants to go through with this for her.

  To be with her.

  Even the thought makes my stomach flutter and my heart pound. But no. Cool your jets, Syl. I’m not making a decision based on a girl—no matter how attractive she is.

  This is real life, not some kind of Disney fairy tale where the girl gives up everything just to be with her man.

  Are you crazy? the part of me that is one hundred percent a roiling ball of teenage hormones whispers. Attractive is one thing. Euphoria is scorching-like-the-sun hot.

  I look at her. Yeah, she is. But no. “I’m not doing it for you.” My voice comes out soft, as gentle as I can make it, but really, how can you make something like that sound…gentle?

  Euphoria doesn’t move, but a thread of pain flashes in those blue eyes. Whatever she was expecting, that wasn’t it. She looks hurt, and I can’t stand that she might take it as a rejection.

  “I’m… Look, I like you a lot,” I say, blushing as red as my hair. I hate saying this in front of my mom. I mean, seriously? It measures like a thousand on the embarrassment scale. “But I can’t make my decision based on liking you.”

  I let out a heavy breath, hoping she’ll understand, terrified she won’t. I mean, isn’t this the part in the teen-angst drama where the guy storms out all angry, knickers in a twist?

  But Euphoria’s not that guy.

  She only nods. I can tell she’s upset, but she channels it into rebellion, sitting back down and propping her New Rock boots on the table, daring my mom with a glare to say anything.

  Mom’s too busy gloating. “Good.” She nods. “I can tell you exactly what to do to renounce your power.”

  Her words hang heavy in the air. I could do it. Renounce my power, go back to being the old me, get my old friends back, my old life back. Maybe Fiann and I could even patch things up.

  But then what? Glamma sacrificed herself to save me. Do I throw that away? I have to think she knew what she was doing, that she protected me for a reason—because I was meant to do this. Whatever this is.

  And Euphoria…

  This thing—this connection—I have with her, it goes beyond just attraction. With her, at school, at the Nanci, fighting hell-hounds… I’ve never been more terrified, more exhilarated, more alive.

  I’ve felt more like the real me than I have in a long time. Maybe ever.

  I can’t give that up. I won’t.

  And while I don’t one hundred percent know what I’m doing, I have to try.

  I square my shoulders. “I’m not renouncing my power.”

  “Ha!” Euphoria lounges back, a satisfied smirk on her face.

  Now Mom looks devastated. How can I make her see that this is the right choice, the only choice?

  She opens her mouth to speak, but I stop her.

  “Please, hear me out.” I take a deep breath and choose my words with care. This is important. I want to get it right. “I have to at least try to become the sleeper-princess, to Awaken and learn to use my power. To help people. It’s what Glamma would’ve wanted. It’s what I want. It’s who I want to be.”

  I’m not there yet, and I know it. That’s scary, but…

  I glance at Euphoria. Her gaze is intense. It makes my heart beat faster. I’m not choosing this for her, but my heart tells me I can only do this with her. Together. “The old me just went along with the crowd, blind and unthinking, but now the crowd…” I think of Agravaine’s motorcycle club, all the kids at school infected with that indigo-black gunk. “They’re heading down a dark path, and I can only stop it if I stand up and do something about it. And that means, I have to Awaken as the sleeper-princess.”

  No matter how hard it is.

  Mom sighs, runs a hand though her ginger hair. “Are you sure? This is a big sacrifice, and those girls… They haven’t been very nice to you.”

  No, they haven’t. But this isn’t about them. It’s about me. It’s about becoming the kind of person I want to become.

  I want to be honest, be the real me, and claim my power.

  Even if I don’t know the way. Even if I’m terrified.

  “I’m sure, Mom. I’m sure as heck gonna try.” I raise my chin, the feeling that this is the right thing to do the only thing keeping me from freaking out right now. I just promised to become something more than human, to learn powers I have no idea how to control, to fight an über-powerful dark Fae maniac.

  I’m scared out of my mind right now.

  “I have to try to save them and stop Agravaine. You and Glamma always taught me to try my best. And I will.”

  Even though I don’t really have a clue as to how to Awaken.

  Euphoria stands and crosses the living room to me. Drawn to her, I meet her halfway. She takes my hands, and my heart darn near leaps out of my chest at her touch—one hand gloved, the other not. “I’m proud of you. And I will protect you. With my life. Or if need be, my death.”

  Oh. Oh, wow. Did she just get even hotter? Answer: Yes. Yes, she did. Suddenly, I’m burning up, so hot I’m sweating. Her solemn vow shakes me to the core. “No one is going to die. Except maybe Agravaine.” I look at Mom, hoping my brave words sway her.

  She seems to deflate as she lets out a breath, her aura the washed-out blue of sorrow, and I see the worry and love in her eyes. I’m her little girl, the one she’s protected all this time. Tears fill her eyes.

  I pull away from Euphoria, my hands lingering as they leave hers, and go to my mom’s side. “Mom, you’ve protected me all this time, all these years. Let me protect you.”

  If Agravaine has his way, the whole city will be infected with that black ick. I don’t know what he intends to do once that happens, but whatever it is, I’m officially filing it under So Not Good and Not on My Watch.

  I look at Euphoria, meet her gaze. Correction: Not on Our Watch.

  “Syl…I…” My mom clears her throat, dabs at her eyes.

  The show of emotion breaks me up inside. I throw myself into her arms. “I love you, Mom. I ‘m sorry. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “Hey…” She holds me at an arm’s length. “You could never disappoint me. I’m proud of you, bug, my brave girl.”

  A few tears slip down her cheeks, and I pull away, wiping at my eyes. I always cry when my mom cries, and I can’t afford this turning into an ugly cryfest.

  I stand up and clear my throat. “All right. Agravaine. We have to stop him.”

  Euphoria nods gravely as she retakes her seat. She still hasn’t touched her tea or the cookies, but at least she and Mom aren’t going to murderface each other. Hopefully. “He’s been killing sleeper-princesses. He claims their blood powers the hearthstone, giving it longer life, but I have reason to believe he’s lying. It’s like…he doesn’t want to save us.”

  “It doesn’t make sense,” I agree, glad to have something to focus on aside from my very real lack of Awakening. Agravaine, the Wild Hunt, his hell-hounds, Euphoria. “Everyone is either his slave or servant. Why wouldn’t he want to keep a deal like that going? Unless…” My pulse picks up, beating against my ribs like a metronome. “Unless everyone isn’t.”

  Euphoria and my mom exchange a puzzled look, but I rush on. “What is he in your world? Agravaine, I mean. Is he important?”

  “I…guess.” Euphoria shrugs one shoulder. It’s clear she doesn’t like the guy. “He used to be a blacksmith, respected but lowborn. When the opportunity arose, he took up the mantle of the Huntsman, the Master of the Wild Hunt. He thought it’d bring him more prestige, even though it made him a sluagh.”

  Sluagh. I’ve seen the word in Glamma’s Grimm. Sluagh, the Unforgiven, dead to their own people. It hits me. “So he’s not a prince.”

  Euphoria snorts, folds her arms. “Hell and hue, no. He doesn’t have one drop of royal blood. He’s been trying to get close to my father for years. First as the Huntsman and then…” She squirms a bit in her seat. Euphoria…squirming?

  “What is it?” I prod, but I
already have a good idea what she’s going to say. I saw the way he looked at her, like she was already his, whether she wanted it or not.

  “He wants to be my mate.” She snorts again, and anger flashes in her eyes. “But fat chance on that.”

  Okay, now I really want to ruin Agravaine’s day. I struggle with the first bout of real jealousy I’ve ever felt. It’s like a slick, sick ball of anger and fear and hatred all tangled, tying me up in knots. “Tell me everything.”

  Euphoria sighs heavily, glancing at my mom. For a second, I think she isn’t going to tell us, and then she spills. “My father and the arch-Eld put their trust in him to save the hearthstone and our world. I spoke against it, and they bound me to him with a Contract of Bone and Blood. After that, all it took was—” Her voice catches and she clears her throat roughly. “I made a mistake, and they let him infect me with the Moribund. He’s been experimenting with it—the dark, killing magic in technology. He thinks he can remake our world with its power.”

  She clenches her right fist on her knee. The glove… Is that why she wears it? My Fae-sight kicks in, and I see the murky aura around her hand. It’s violet instead of indigo, but it has that heavy, inky-gross look to it.

  How could anything that poisonous remake anythi—

  “No,” I say as a shiver claws my spine, bringing dark thoughts. “That’s not what he wants.” Agravaine’s not so different from Fiann, from me, from any teenager. He just wants to be popular. “Why save your world where he’s nothing more than a Huntsman when he can use the Moribund to create his own dark Fae realm, right here in Richmond? With the student body as his subjects.”

  I take a breath and then drop the bomb. “He doesn’t want to be prince. He wants to be king.”

  Realization pales Euphoria’s face. “Weal and woe, Syl,” she breathes. “You’re right.”

  “Okay, then we have to get me to the hearthstone first.” I start pacing then stop. “You can take me there, right?” I gesture all around us. “Faerie-land is everywhere, right? Glamma always said it was kind of…kitty-corner to the mortal realm, that you step sideways on a special magical path and there you are.”

  “It’s just Faerie, not Faerie-land,” Euphoria corrects me gently. “And that’s mostly true, but…” She glances again at my mom. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?” I look at Mom, but she’s also shaking her head. What is this, some kind of conspiracy? “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “You don’t have control yet, Syl,” Mom says, all grim. “If you touch the hearthstone, you’ll just do what I did—you’ll poison it with just a touch.”

  “But—”

  “She’s right.” Euphoria looks a bit annoyed to be agreeing with Mom, but she stands firm. “I can’t take you to UnderHollow until you learn control.”

  “Control? We don’t have time for that. Agravaine’s looking for us, probably right now even! And we might know his endgame, but we don’t know what his actual plan is.”

  Euphoria levels that luminous, stomach-fluttering gaze on me. “I can teach you, but we need time.”

  Mom stands up. “I can help with that.”

  Euphoria looks at her warily. Mom has no magic left. She renounced it, so yeah… I’m also curious to see what she has up her sleeve. Earlier tonight, it was a hand cannon. What-all else does she have up there?

  “I can mask the two of you, make you look like different people. You could go back to school under different identities, go undercover, and find out Agravaine’s plan.”

  That is so James Bond. Excitement rushes through me, but… “Isn’t that risky? Won’t he know it’s us?”

  “Not once I cast a Grimmacle.”

  “Wait, a what?”

  Euphoria shoots to her feet. “How are you going to cast a Grimmacle?”

  “With Glamma Gentry’s help.” Mom explains it all calm-like.

  My heart jolts. I have no idea what a Grimmacle is, but Mom’s got her super-serious face on. For a hot second, I fear she’s lost it. She’s always been emotional about Glamma’s passing. “Mom…isn’t Glamma…?”

  “Yes,” she says. “But she left me a last-ditch protection, in case things went south.”

  Of course she did. Glamma wasn’t just a sassy old bird. She was cunning as a fox.

  Euphoria looks dubious, but Mom goes to the hall closet and pulls down a hatbox. I recognize the floral pattern immediately. Glamma’s Sunday best. Mom pops the top off the hatbox, and from among all the foofy ribbons, fake flowers, and dyed feathers, she pulls a slender wooden hat pin. It’s cleverly made, carven with knotwork, what Glamma would call “cunnin.’” Mom twists and the thing comes apart, revealing a glimmering vial.

  It has something in it. Glitter?

  I look dubiously at my mom. I swear, if that’s fairy dust, I’m going to lose my darn mind. I don’t believe in faeries, I don’t believe in faeries…

  Mom turns. “It’s—”

  “Fae-flaunt.” Euphoria’s voice is filled with wonder. “It’s very rare. When activated, it casts a powerful Glamoury, one that’s permanent. Well…” She considers. “At least until dispelled.”

  I’ve got my Doubting Thomasina face on again, so Euphoria continues. “The permanency, that’s what turns a Glamoury into a Grimmacle.” She levels a gaze on my mom. “You’re sure?”

  Mom nods, tilting the vial so the glittery substance catches the living room lights. Tiny diamond-like grains shine and glisten in all different colors, too many to catch all at once.

  “How does it work?” I ask, sensing that I’m missing part of the equation here.

  “Making a Glamoury permanent is against our nature.” Euphoria shifts, looks uncomfortable. “It requires a focus that is also against our nature.” She raises an eyebrow. “It has to be cast on iron.”

  My heart seizes. “My leg…the shrapnel…”

  Mom’s watching me like a hawk. “After Glamma cast her Glamoury to hide you, she sprinkled Fae-flaunt on the shard of iron in your leg. It turned the Glamoury into a Grimmacle, putting your powers back to sleep. That’s why it was so strong, and how it kept the dark Fae from tracking you even though the train tracks were destroyed.”

  “So wait…” I try to reason it out. “You’re going to sprinkle fairy dust on my leg to make us look like someone else?”

  “Yes,” Mom says, and suddenly, she’s giving Euphoria the stink eye. “For it to work on both of you, you’ll have to stay in close proximity, or the Grimmacle will auto-dispel. That’ll mean the same classes, the same schedule.”

  “I can work that out,” I say, still trying to wrap my mind around Glamma, Glamouries, and Grimmacles. This real-world problem seems like nothing compared to that. “Lennon works in the admin office. She can switch us around. But we’ll have to tell her.”

  Euphoria puts her foot down. “I don’t like it.”

  I knew she wouldn’t. “Lennon can keep a secret.”

  She gives me the raised eyebrow stink eye. “If Fiann finds out… We still don’t know what part she has to play in all this.”

  “It’ll be fine. Lennon will keep our secret, and we’ll sneak round in our fake IDs and figure out Agravaine’s plan, including Fiann’s part in all this is.” Yeah, I’m making it sound easy, but there’s a crazy-psycho dark Fae Huntsman after us… We have to do something.

  “And what about when Agravaine tracks Syl back here?” Euphoria asks my mom.

  “I’ll take care of that,” Mom says matter-of-factly, and when Euphoria opens her mouth, Mom gives her the mom-glare from hell. “I can keep the apartment hidden as part of the Grimmacle.”

  Euphoria looks like she wants to say something, and then she lets it go and just shrugs. “Your funeral.”

  Wait, what?

  Mom brings me back to the matter at hand. “When do you want me to cast it?”

  “Right now,” I say. “No time like the present.” And then I stop. “No, wait.”

  I raise my teacup and pro
d them to pick up theirs. “We are going to break bread together.” That’s right. There’s going to be peace between my mom and my… girlfriend? I don’t know what Euphoria is. I don’t even know what I am, never mind what we are.

  I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I raise my teacup. “Come on, come on. After all the things you’ve kept from me, you both owe me one.”

  Mom looks like she’d rather eat those mud pies I made when I was four, but she lifts her cup. Euphoria is the last to pick hers up, her pretty face tense. I stand between them, two once-enemies brought together by a common cause to kick Agravaine’s sorry patootie back to the Stone Age—or the dark Faerie realm. Whichever is farthest away.

  “To finding friends among enemies.”

  We clink teacups, and everyone sips, Mom and Euphoria looking warily over their rims. I ignore it. It’s a start. “Now let’s crush this plate of cookies and fire up that Grimmacle. We’ve got to get to bed. It’s been a rough night, tomorrow’s Sunday, and then Monday, it’s showtime.”

  For the rest of the night as we go over the plan and cast the Grimmacle, we’re all in total agreement. The Trifecta of Patootie-Kicking.

  Yeah, we got this. I hope.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Rouen

  Close to you

  This high school facade

  Brings me close to you

  Why must we play so hard?

  - Euphoria, “Close”

  The plan still buzzing in my brain, Sunday passes in a blur of sleep and recovering. I’m simply wrecked from all that energy I burned fighting Agravaine’s Command and the hounds of the Hunt. Protecting Syl, obtruding without my body.

  Yeah, there’s only so much stress a girl’s body can take.

  Even a dark Fae princess.

  Syl’s pretty destroyed too. She’s on the cusp of transforming from a sleeper-princess into a true princess of the fair Fae, her long-hidden Fae blood sending signals to her body to transform, to become, to Awaken.