Caught Up

by Shannon Holmes

  Dixyn felt that her life was incomplete. She felt alone in this world without the man she so desperately adored, and the love of her life, her daughter Ava. Realizing there was little she could do to remedy her fiancé’s legal situation, her main goal was to finally bring her daughter back home.

  It bothered Dixyn that she’d had to send her daughter to live with her mother. She wasn’t the type to leave her daughter with anyone else, family member or not. In the past, Dixyn had routinely passed on girls’ night out, dinner and drinks with some high school friends, especially if Bryce was out of town or handling some business and if her mother was unavailable. In her mind, Ava always came first.

  But now things were different. In order to survive and maintain the luxuries that they had grown accustomed to, Dixyn had to sacrifice quality time with her daughter. This was a trade-off and she wasn’t sure how long she could continue doing it. She hoped one day a change would come and things could go back to normal.

  Dixyn tried to push these thoughts out of her mind. In a little while she would be holding her beloved Ava in her arms. That thought alone warmed her heart and brought a smile to her face.

  A ring of her cell phone broke Dixyn’s reverie. She hesitated before answering it, digging into her purse while keeping an eye on the road, hoping like hell it wasn’t B-Dub. She was relieved when she saw Kendra’s name on her phone’s screen.

  “What up, Ken?” she answered cheerfully.

  “Damn, bitch, you can’t call nobody?” Kendra fired back.

  “My bad,” Dixyn laughed. “I was kinda busy payin’ these bills. I was gonna call you. But you beat me to it.”

  “Don’t get brand new on me. Get a couple dollars and don’t know how to act,” Kendra said playfully. “Remember who ya true friends are.”

  “C’mon now, Kendra, stop playing. You know I don’t get down like that.”

  “I know. I’m just fuckin’ wit’ you. Anyway, umm, I got a way for you to make some more money. You down?”

  “Wait a minute, Kendra. I ain’t gonna agree to nothing before I know exactly what I’m getting myself into.”

  “Okay, here’s the deal. Some nigga from the club saw me dancin’ and invited me to do a bachelor party for a friend of his. All you have to do is dance, nothing else if you don’t want to. But of course if you suckin’ and fuckin’, you’ll make more for yourself.”

  “I don’t know, Kendra, you said the same thing last time,” Dixyn responded. “And then you tried to sell me off to the highest bidder.”

  Kendra brushed the remark aside. “That was last time. This is different. It’s a private party. Won’t be a whole bunch of niggas tryin’ to dig up in ya shit. These niggas got dough. They ain’t pressed for pussy, they out to have a good time . . . ”

  Naturally, Dixyn had her reservations about this new situation. She was judging Kendra on her initial foray into the club, which hadn’t been a good experience despite all the money she made. Still, she tried to keep an open mind and hear her out.

  Kendra continued, “Besides that, I’m payin’ you eight hundred dollars for one night’s work. I’ll give you half up front and the other half at the end of the night. Now how that sound?”

  Dixyn wanted to say, Too good to be true. But she bit her tongue, not wanting to start an argument. “All right, I’ll do it,” she said. “When is it?”

  “Tomorrow night.”

  “Okay, so when do I get paid?” Dixyn asked.

  “Bitch, that’s all you worried about, huh? You money-hungry ho.”

  “If I am, I get it from you,” Dixyn countered.

  “I’ll have that for you tonight. You workin’ tonight, right?”

  Dixyn didn’t know how to respond. She’d been having mixed emotions about dancing at the club since that first day when B-Dub showed up. Considering her episode with him earlier that day, Dixyn was in no rush to come back in contact with him. She wanted to tell Kendra what had happened to her, but at the last minute decided against it. Kendra didn’t have the most sympathetic ear.

  “Y-y-yeah,” Dixyn stammered. “I’ll be there.”

  “Then I’ll have that for you tonight,” Kendra assured her. “Talk to you later. Gotta get my beauty sleep.”

  “Night-night,” Dixyn replied. One thing she could say about Kendra: she was on top of her hustle. She always found a way to keep income flowing.

  With her financial situation beginning to look more promising, and a little dough in her pockets , Dixyn felt it was time to pay that pawn shop a visit. She wanted her engagement ring back. At the next light, Dixyn took a sharp right and headed straight there.

  She entered the store with an air of confidence that she hadn’t possessed the last time she was there. She strolled past the well-arranged display cases of jewelry. Dixyn took note of how tidy the store was. The floors were cleaned, waxed, and buffed to a shine, and the merchandise in the aisle was neatly placed on individual shelves.

  “Can I help you, ma’am?” one worker called out.

  “No thanks. I see the gentleman I’m looking for right there,” she said, pointing at a middle-aged Caucasian man.

  Dixyn marched confidently over toward the glass counter where the guy stood and held out her pawn stub. “Remember me? I want my ring back,” Dixyn declared. She placed her ticket on the counter along with her identification.

  “Oh, yes,” the man responded, pointing his finger back at Dixyn. “Greene? That’s the name. Am I correct?”

  “Yes, Dixyn Greene.”

  “Gimme a moment, please.” He took the ticket and walked into the back of the store.

  Dixyn turned her attention to the display case. She began eyeing the jewelry, wondering what the story was behind each item, why the owners pawned them off in the first place.

  When the shop owner reappeared from the back, noticeably absent was Dixyn’s engagement ring. Dixyn just stood there with her arms crossed.

  “Where’s my ring?” she blurted.

  “Ms. Greene, I regret to inform you that your item has been sold.”

  “What the fuck you mean?” Dixyn exploded.

  Without saying another word, the owner handed Dixyn her ticket. She was stunned.

  “Sorry, ma’am. But if you like, I can show you some other comparable rings that you might be interested in.”

  His sales pitch further infuriated Dixyn. How dare he try to sell her a replacement ring at a time like this? She stomped out of the store, her mood severely altered. She couldn’t believe her stroke of bad luck. How was she going to face Bryce without the engagement ring he had given her? What was he gonna say? As she mulled over the situtation, she found she had more questions than answers. And the only thing Dixyn had in her possession at the moment was regret.

  * * *

  Dixyn flew down her mother’s dirt road in Petersburg, Virginia. She had traveled this road so many times that she felt like she could do it with her eyes closed. There was no picturesque scenery here, nothing but dense trees and foliage. An occasional house dotted the landscape.

  Dixyn remembered when she first took Bryce out here to meet her mother. He had said, “If I ever go on the run from the police, I’m coming out here. This is the middle of nowhere.”

  Off in the distance, she could see her mother’s one-story ranch-style house slowly coming into view. She began to ease up off the accelerator. She didn’t want anything like the squeal of her brakes or the rev of her engine to announce her presence. Dixyn wanted to surprise everyone, especially her daughter. Her trip to the country was a well-needed excursion from the fast lane she was currently moving in.

  The Range Rover pulled to a slow, quiet stop in the driveway. Dixyn climbed out and closed the door softly. As she walked up the flower-lined driveway, she noticed Ava’s pink Barbie 4x4 jeep that her father had bought her for Christmas. She remembered how her daughter had broken a lamp in the living room while learning how to operate the vehicle.

  Dixyn used her spare key to open up the front do
or of her mother’s house. The instant she crossed the threshold, her sense of smell was immediately awakened. Her mother was in the kitchen making one of Dixyn’s favorite dishes, smothered pork chops with baked macaroni and cheese and collard greens with smoked pork neck bones. Quietly, Dixyn closed the front door and tiptoed through the house, following the rich aroma of the soul food. She peeked around the corner to the kitchen to see what was happening in there. Her mother was seasoning a pot of collard greens. Ava sat at the table her with her attention on the television screen. Dixyn didn’t want to frighten her mother too badly, so she took out her phone and dialed the house phone.

  “Hey, Dixyn,” Mrs. Greene chimed. “I’m surprised to hear from you. You know, you could call this child of yours every so often—”

  “Ma, I’m in the house.”

  “What you say?”

  “I’m in the house, right around the corner from you.” Dixyn stuck her head into the kitchen and waved to her mother. “Look over here. I didn’t wanna scare the H-E-L-L outta you. But I wanted to surprise Ava. So hang up the phone and go back to cookin’. I wanna surprise Ava.”

  Crouched in a low position, Dixyn came out from hiding and tiptoed into the kitchen. Her mother glanced in her direction as she pretended to cook. Closer and closer, Dixyn inched up on Ava, and then she kneeled down when she was right upon her. Gently, she covered her daughter’s eyes with her hands.

  “Guess who?” Dixyn called out, trying to disguise her voice.

  Ava made no attempt to move a muscle. An infectious smile spread across her face from ear to ear, and she began to giggle.

  “Guess who, Ava?” Dixyn said again, this time returning to her normal voice.

  Ava paused as if she were processing the vocal chords in her mind. “Mommy?” she answered unsurely.

  When Dixyn removed her hands from her daughter’s eyes, Ava whipped around in her chair, coming face to face with the woman who birthed her. “Mommy!” she shouted again.

  Overcome by excitement, Dixyn scooped the girl up in her arms. She hugged her child tightly, as if her life depended on it. The joyous reunion bought a smile to Mrs. Greene’s face.

  “Hey, pretty girl, how has mama’s baby been?” Dixyn pulled her daughter away from her body and planted wet kisses over her entire face. “I missed you so much. You know Mommy loves you.” Dixyn wanted to say everything she was thinking to her daughter and at the same time say nothing at all. She marveled at how much Ava had grown since the last time she had seen her. The realization made her feel guilty.

  “Mommy, Mommy, I love you too!” Ava cried out. “I was driving my car today. I helped Grandma cook. I’m a big girl now, Mommy.”

  “I can see that,” Dixyn replied. She rose to her feet with her daughter attached to her thigh and admired the girl’s physical features. It was uncanny how Ava had turned out to be the perfect blend of Dixyn and Bryce. She had her father’s big brown eyes and wide smile. She had inherited Dixyn’s small round nose as well as some of her mannerisms, such as moving her hands animatedly while talking. Even Ava’s caramel complexion was a gorgeous mix of both parents, her father’s dark skin and her mother’s lighter tone.

  “Who did your hair today, Ava?”

  “Me, me, Mommy!” the girl exclaimed. “But Grandma helped me. Do you like my bows, Mommy?” Ava’s sentences were becoming more refined and it took little effort to have a full conversation with her. Dixyn was amazed at how far she’d come in such a short time. Ava was only two and a half years old but had the vocabulary of a five- or six-year-old. Dixyn knew this was her mother’s doing. Her child had benefited greatly from her short stay here.

  “Of course I do!” Dixyn lied. “You look very pretty.” She hated to see little girls with a million and one barrettes attached to heaps of ponytail braids. Dixyn had expressed her dislike for the hairstyle to her mother, but obviously the woman didn’t listen or she just didn’t care. Dixyn thought about bringing the matter to her mother’s attention once again, but she resisted. This wasn’t the time or the place for that. She realized some people would love to have her problem right now. Some people didn’t have an adoring mother who took great care of a granddaughter at a moment’s notice.

  Instead, Dixyn walked over to her mother and leaned forward as if she was about to whisper a secret. “Mom, I love you. Thanks for taking care of my daughter. Thanks for everything.”

  “You’re welcome, baby,” her mother responded, dotting her daughter’s cheek with kisses. “You’re welcome.” Love flowed through the room as the two women embraced.

  “Mom, it’s smelling so good up in here! You must have been reading my mind. I’m starving,” Dixyn said.

  “You know you’re welcome to stay for dinner. Girl, have you been eating? You look like you losing weight. I wanted to say that as soon as I laid eyes on you.”

  “I eat, just not that much,” Dixyn admitted. “I got other things on my mind besides stuffin’ my face.”

  “Still, that’s no reason to not to eat. Matthew 6:11 tells us, Give us this day our daily bread . . .”

  Dixyn didn’t need a sermon right now, especially with all the sin she had been committing lately. She was sorry she’d gotten her mother started. On many occasions, her mother had run her out of the house, preaching the word. Dixyn didn’t want to this to be another one of those times, so she tried to change the subject: “Ma, where my stepdad at?”

  Mrs. Greene was the talkative type and was easily lured by this. “He went fishing with his friend Earl,” she replied. “He should be back sometime soon. So just stick around, he’d love to see you.”

  “I will. Now, Ma, can you please feed me?”

  “Yes, baby. You and Ava go have a seat in the dining room and dinner will be served.”

  Dixyn bent down and scooped her daughter up in her arms before walking off to the dining room.

  Her mother called out, “Girl, put that baby down. She can walk, run, turn cartwheels, and do everything else. You gon’ spoil that baby. The Bible says, Train up a child in a way he should go, and when he is older he shall not depart from it . . .”

  Dixyn laughed, her daughter clinging tightly to her body. She cherished moments like these, because she knew there would come a time when her daughter wouldn’t want to be held. Until then, Dixyn planned on taking advantage of every opportunity.

  Over dinner, the two women discussed things that were going on in Dixyn’s and Ava’s respective lives. While her mother was open and forthcoming, Dixyn had to be deceitful about everything, from what she was doing and where she was working to Bryce’s legal situation. Although she hated to lie to her mother, she knew that there were certain things in this world the woman wouldn’t understand, namely the streets. Her deeply religious roots wouldn’t allow her to fathom certain situations.

  Dixyn fabricated a story about working two jobs, one as a secretary for a prestigious law firm in DC and another as a weekend waitress at the local Waffle House. Her latest occupation was something she didn’t care to share with the rest of the world.

  Her mother believed the fiction wholeheartedly. She told Dixyn stories about Ava, all the progress she was making with the milestones in her life. Dixyn smiled outwardly, but inwardly she fought back tears. Silently, she promised herself that as soon as she was able to keep her head above water, she would bring Ava home. Dixyn prayed that it wouldn’t be much longer.

  * * *

  A packed club greeted Dixyn the night she returned to work. She spoke briefly to the bouncers as she entered and her eyes scoured the place for any signs of Kendra. She was the main reason Dixyn had even come there. Dixyn zeroed in on her prancing around seminude. Making her way through the crowd, Dixyn followed her friend into the locker room.

  “Kendra?” Dixyn called out.

  When no answer came, she walked around the locker room in search of her friend. Dixyn expected to find her at her locker, but she wasn’t there. She then headed over to the bathroom, where she heard loud sniffling sound
s. She immediately knew it was Kendra and she also knew just what she was up to: sniffing cocaine in the toilet stall.

  “Kendra?” Dixyn called out again.

  “Yeah, gimme a second, I’ll be right there, Dixyn!” Kendra shouted back.

  Dixyn folded her arms, leaned up against the wall, and waited for her friend to finish getting high. From where she stood, she could see there were two pairs of legs in the stall. She was willing to bet that the other person was Fonda.

  The toilet flushed, signaling that the get-high session was officially over and the ladies had hidden the contraband. The stall door opened and out walked Kendra, with Fonda following closely behind.

  “Dix, what’s Gucci?” Fonda greeted her.

  Dixyn tried not to stare at their noses, but couldn’t help herself. She glimpsed traces of cocaine around both of their nostrils. It surprised her how good Fonda was at disguising her high.

  “I’m all right,” Dixyn replied. “And ya’self?”

  “You know me—another day, another dollar,” Fonda cracked. “I heard you gonna do that bachelor party wit’ us tomorrow night.”

  Dixyn just smiled and shook her head without saying anything. She noticed Kendra was being unusually quiet. Dixyn looked into her eyes and saw a blank crystal stare. Must be the coke, she mused. Kendra was falling deep into the evils of drugs and fast living. It was like each time Dixyn saw her in the club, Kendra was acting weirder and weirder. Her friend was slowly becoming damaged goods.

  “Notti wants to see you,” Kendra announced robotically.

  “’Bout what?” Dixyn asked.

  “How the fuck I’m supposed to know?” Kendra mouthed off. “He didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask.”

  “All right, lemme go see what this nigga wants before I put my bag down and get dressed,” Dixyn said, exiting the bathroom.