The blue-tinged glow from a nightlight allowed him to make out the furnishings in the room. Crib, changing table, rocking chair. When Roan flipped on the light, the colors came to life. On the wall were several black-and-white framed pictures. They were mostly of Liam and Roan, with a couple of a woman Seg assumed was Roan’s sister. Looking at them had some unnamed emotion filling Seg’s chest.
A baby.
Roan was a dad.
Seg watched as Roan went right to the crib, smiling down at the little boy, who was dressed in blue pajamas and clearly unhappy about something. Truth was, Seg really didn’t know the first thing about babies. He was an only child and his parents didn’t have any siblings either. Which meant, without any brothers or sisters or cousins, and without any friends who had small children, Seg was completely out of his element. This was new for him.
Exciting.
Like he’d told Roan, he wasn’t up to speed on all things baby, but he could use his common sense. The little boy probably needed a clean diaper or food or both.
Sure enough, Roan deftly changed the squirmy baby’s diaper, in record time at that, then lifted him into his arms. The ear-splitting cries simmered down to a pathetic little sob that wrenched Seg’s heart. He was so consumed by the sight in front of him it took a second for him to realize Roan was staring at him. It took another second to notice the surprise in Roan’s eyes.
Seg offered a tentative smile as he reached out and rubbed the baby’s downy-soft head. The little boy stared at him, seemingly taking in his facial features. Seg wondered what his first thought was.
“Can I hold him?” Seg asked. “You know, so you can get a bottle or whatever.”
That request seemed to stun Roan even more, but he didn’t argue. Seg took instruction from Roan on how to hold him. Apparently, at four months old, Liam was capable of squirming out of Seg’s arms if he wasn’t careful, especially if he threw a tantrum, which, according to Roan, was bound to happen any second now. That scared him a little, so he kept a firm grip on him.
“You’re tiny, little guy,” Seg whispered to him as he followed Roan out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. “You’re gonna have to get some meat on your bones so you can play hockey when you grow up. That or baseball. Maybe your dad likes baseball.”
Roan did his thing in the kitchen, putting together a bottle, then turning back to him expectantly.
“I’ll feed him,” Seg offered, simply because he was enjoying holding the little guy. “You know, if that’s okay with you.” He certainly didn’t want to overstep.
Roan nodded toward the living room, so Seg headed that way, careful to keep Liam close to his body as he sat down. Roan propped a pillow under his arm, and Seg laid Liam down in his lap. Seg was careful to keep his right hand propped on his leg to keep Liam from hitting his finger.
“Keep his head propped up,” Roan told him softly.
Seg did as instructed, then took the bottle and, what do you know, Liam’s fussiness died instantly as he took the nipple into his mouth.
Part of him had expected Liam to be little more than a bundle of skin and bones. It appeared he already had quite a personality. As Seg fed him, Liam tugged at the bottle with one hand while kicking his left foot repeatedly. They watched each other intently until Liam stopped drinking and grinned. Seg laughed, realizing he was distracting the kid from his task.
“You sure you don’t have experience with kids?” Roan asked, sitting down beside him.
“First time to ever hold one,” he admitted, still smiling down at Liam.
“I remember the first time I held him,” Roan mused, staring down at his hands. “I was terrified that I’d hurt him. He was so tiny when he was born.” Roan’s gaze lifted. “And sick. He was addicted to drugs like his mother. He was in the hospital for a while, and Cassie didn’t want to have much to do with him. So I would go down to the nursery every chance I could. They let me hold him and feed him. Sometimes I would sit there and stare, wondering how in the world anyone could be that small.”
Seg could hear the love in Roan’s tone. The man was completely in love with the little boy he now called his son. Seg had to admit, he was a little jealous. Of both of them.
It didn’t take long for Liam to finish off his late-night snack and fall into dreamland once again.
“What do I do now?” Seg whispered. He hadn’t read the baby manual, but he’d watched enough television to know that something came next.
“You need to burp him.”
“All right, little guy, don’t get mad at me,” he said softly, shifting Liam so that he was once again on his shoulder. He patted the little boy’s back gently.
“Probably gonna have to add a little more force than that,” Roan informed him with a grin. “He’s much sturdier than he looks.”
Seg patted a little more firmly, not wanting to hurt Liam but taking Roan’s instruction as gospel. Within minutes, there was a loud baby belch that made Seg laugh.
“Does he go back to bed now? Until the next time?”
Roan nodded, his eyes wide as he sat there staring at them. Seg liked that he’d surprised Roan. It might be true that Seg didn’t know the first thing about Roan, but the opposite could be said as well. A lot of people stereotyped professional athletes, when in truth, most of them were normal guys, seeking normal lives outside of their sport.
Seg was one of those. At one point in his life, he thought he’d have a brood of kids, a wife, a house in Canada. But he knew underneath it all that some of those dreams weren’t his, they were what he felt he was supposed to want. Did he want kids? Absolutely. Did he want a wife? No. He’d come to accept the fact that he was gay. Although he couldn’t admit it, feared what that news might do to his career, Seg still accepted it.
But that didn’t change the fact that he still wanted a family. Kids, a husband, a house to hold them all.
Pushing to his feet, he carried Liam back to his room. Seg passed him over to Roan and watched carefully as he put him back in the crib.
“No blanket?” Seg whispered, noticing the crib was completely empty.
“Nope.”
Well, then. Seg had a lot to learn.
Without a word, he led the way back to the living room, but rather than sit down, Seg turned to face Roan. He wanted to strip the man naked and bury himself in his body, but he knew tonight was a turning point for them. He wasn’t about to make this about sex and give Roan an excuse to run and hide again. This was going to take some finesse on Seg’s part, he knew.
“Thanks for letting me come inside,” Seg told him, stepping closer. “I’m serious about this. About us. I know you’re probably skeptical, but I want to see where this goes.” He offered a smile. “And I’m pretty relentless in my pursuit of what I want. Truth is, I’ve never wanted anyone or anything as much as I want you.”
Roan didn’t respond, but Seg didn’t expect him to.
Reaching for Roan, Seg leaned in and kissed him. Slowly at first, then more insistently. He pushed his tongue past Roan’s smooth, warm lips, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. When Roan reached for him, Seg released the pent-up breath he’d been holding for the past couple of hours.
“I have to go,” Seg whispered, cupping Roan’s head in his hand. “But I’ll be back. I want to spend time with you. And Liam. If that’s all right.”
Roan nodded, which nearly had Seg falling to the floor. He could take a tremendous amount of physical assault, but this man relenting to his request was enough to take him out at the knees.
ROAN HAD KNOWN THAT SEG intended to leave tonight. He didn’t want him to, but he knew it was for the best. He needed time to think. To figure out how this was supposed to work. How he was going to open himself up to someone when that was quite possibly the hardest thing he would ever have to do.
Hell, who was he trying to kid? He’d spent too damn much time thinking as it was. He knew what he wanted, just not how it was supposed to play out.
“Stay,” he wh
ispered, pulling Seg closer. “Stay tonight.”
He could see the concern in Seg’s blue eyes. The man was torn, which only made sense. This thing between them was new; it was fragile. Neither of them was in a place for a relationship, certainly not one that was threatening to go full steam ahead without pause.
Roan opted for the truth. “I don’t want to be alone.”
Seg pressed his forehead to Roan’s. “You’re gonna be impossible to resist. I can feel it now.”
“Then don’t. Don’t resist.”
Seg’s head lifted, his hands coming up to cup his neck, and Roan held his breath.
“You understand what I want, right? You’re not confusing this thing between us with lust. I’m all for fucking you senseless, Roan, but I want more. One night here and there is not enough for me.”
Roan nodded. At this point, his resistance was futile. He didn’t want Seg to go. Hell, he didn’t care if they even had sex tonight. He simply didn’t want to be alone. He needed this man like he needed air. His companionship, his friendship, and yes, his desire.
“Stay,” he repeated, hoping Seg understood he was on the same page.
Seg nodded, his hands sliding beneath Roan’s shirt. Roan had to take a deep breath, to steel himself for feeling the man’s hands on him again. He felt both vulnerable and needy. He wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted a man the way he wanted Colton Seguine. And that was such a ridiculous thing to think about. But he couldn’t help it. In fact, he’d been thinking about it, along with a million what ifs, for months now.
The feel of the bandage on Seg’s finger brought him out of his thoughts. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Seg frowned.
“Your finger.”
“Want to touch,” Seg whispered, shrugging him off. “All of you.”
Roan kissed him, sealing their mouths together. He got lost in Seg for a minute, enjoying the soft, sensual way his tongue stroked his, the way his hands glided over his skin, touching him absently, as though this was all that mattered.
Roan tilted his head when Seg’s mouth drifted down to his neck, Seg’s strong hands curling around his ribs, holding him firmly in place. Roan’s body heated, warmth infusing his blood, making him light-headed. His dick went from semi-hard to an iron rod in seconds. He attempted to grind his hips against Seg’s, but the man held him back.
“Not yet. We’ll get there. Eventually.”
This man was going to make him lose his mind. He didn’t like the wait. No one had ever accused him of being patient. The fact that he had no choice in the matter was new to him also. Until Seg, Roan had always been the one in control. Always. Maybe that was why he felt so vulnerable. He wanted Seg to be in control, to take care of him. It wasn’t something he’d ever thought about until he met this man.
Seg’s hands slid higher, forcing Roan’s shirt up. He got rid of the damn thing because he needed to feel all of Seg against him. His hands, his mouth, his body.
“Aww, God,” he groaned when Seg’s fingers pinched his nipple.
“Shh. Don’t wake the baby.”
Roan still couldn’t believe that Seg was okay with the fact that he had a kid. When Seg had asked to hold Liam, then offered to feed him, Roan had known the man owned him right then and there.
“Show me your bedroom,” Seg insisted, standing to his full height.
Roan swallowed, trying to remember where the damn bedroom was. He was so caught up in the moment, he forgot that they were standing in his living room.
Seg’s satisfied smile snapped him out of it, and he turned and led the way down the narrow hall after grabbing the baby monitor. He set the thing on the dresser, then turned to find Seg standing behind him, his shirt unbuttoned. The guy was hotter than fuck. Lean and ripped, and so damn tall. Roan wasn’t short by any means, nor was he a small man, but Seg made him feel that way. Six foot four with a body as hard and unyielding as a brick wall, Seg took his breath away.
Roan’s mouth watered with the need to touch and taste, to give and take. Except he couldn’t seem to make his brain focus enough to do what he wanted to do. Instead, he found himself relying on Seg, waiting to see what happened next. He watched, his eyes roaming every inch of the man as Seg kicked off his shoes, then removed his socks. The shirt went next, leaving Seg standing there with his slacks riding low on his narrow hips. Roan wanted to lean down and run his tongue over the muscles that created a perfect V.
“Come here,” Seg insisted.
Roan took a step forward, coming to stand directly in front of Seg.
The man’s thumb brushed over his lower lip. “I want to feel your mouth on me. I fucking think about you all the damn time. About how fucking hot you make me, how hard my dick is just from hearing you breathe.”
Seg’s hand slid into his hair, then urged him down to his knees. Roan reached for the button on Seg’s slacks as he lowered himself to the floor, leaning in and kissing the smooth skin directly above Seg’s waistband, sliding his tongue along the hard angles of his muscles. He took his time, savoring the taste of his skin as he revealed Seg’s thick cock. The man was a force to be reckoned with. While he stroked the velvet-smooth skin covering Seg’s shaft, Roan forced Seg’s pants down to his ankles before sliding his mouth over the swollen head, wrapping his lips around the crest, teasing with his tongue.
“Damn, I’ve missed your mouth.”
Roan took him to the root, staring up and meeting Seg’s eyes. He could see so much desire imprinted on his face. A need that matched what Roan was feeling. He knew they were moving too fast, but he didn’t care. Roan knew from experience that one night with Seg wouldn’t be enough. Two hadn’t come close to dousing the flames that sparked hot and bright inside him. In fact, it only made it more intense, yet Roan didn’t care. He wanted to give himself to Seg.
The hand in his hair tightened, shards of pain shooting through his scalp. It made his dick thicken, his body burn hotter. When Seg pulled him toward him, forcing his dick into Roan’s mouth, he took all of him again. In. Out. In. Out. Roan let Seg use his mouth, let himself be dominated by the sexy man who had more control over him than anyone ever had.
“So good,” Seg growled. “But I’m not done with you yet. Not gonna let you make me come.”
Seg’s cock slipped from his mouth, and Roan managed to get back to his feet while Seg tugged him up. When he was standing, Seg slammed his body against him, knocking them both to the bed while their mouths united, tongues dueling, teeth clashing. Demanding fingers worked open the button on Roan’s jeans, shoving the denim down his hips, all while their tongues explored one another’s mouths.
“I’m starting to question whether that finger’s really broken or not,” Roan teased.
Seg grinned. “The pain is worth it.”
Roan moaned as Seg’s warmth infused him. He felt him everywhere. On him, in him. It was just as he’d remembered. Intense.
When Seg’s hand wrapped around his dick, Roan pulled back, sucking air into his lungs. “Fuck … oh, fuck…”
“You like that? Like when I let you fuck my fist?”
“Oh, God…” Roan’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, the feeling overwhelming him. Every damn time the man touched him, Roan thought he would go up in flames. It’d been that way the first time they were together and every other time since. Tonight was no different.
Seg’s mouth slid down Roan’s chest, then his lips wrapped firmly around the engorged head of his cock, the man’s tongue lovingly stroking him. Teasing. Torture.
It was too much, but not enough. Roan wanted everything Seg would give him. Tonight, tomorrow. Forever.
“I don’t have the same willpower you do,” he warned Seg. “Your fucking mouth drives me crazy.”
Roan reached for Seg’s head, linking his fingers in the silky blond strands as he held him in place, forcing Seg to take all of him as deep in his mouth as he could.
Of course, Seg overpowered him, letting Roan’s dick fall from his lips before drapin
g himself over Roan once more. The weight of him grounded him, his warmth soothing him, calming him.
“Condom,” Seg mumbled against his lips.
Roan shifted to the edge of the bed and opened the nightstand drawer, pulling out an unopened box of condoms and a bottle of lube. Until two weeks ago, he hadn’t had any on hand, but for some insane reason, he’d bought them the last time he was at the store. Just in case. He hadn’t dreamed that Seg would show up at his door, but now he was grateful he’d had the mind to be prepared.
Roan dumped them on the bed, then reached for Seg again, rolling them both until he was on top. He couldn’t seem to get enough of Seg, craving his taste, his touch.
Seg’s hands roamed over his back, warm and gentle. A shiver raced down his spine; his dick jerked between them. He pulled away long enough to grab a condom from the box, then rolled it down Seg’s erection before reaching for the lube, all the while keeping his eyes locked on Seg’s face.
He knew in that moment that this thing between them was more than sex, more than pleasure. Roan wanted this to last forever, even though he didn’t believe in forever. He wanted to believe, but he didn’t. Long ago, he had learned that people would prove whether they were worthy or not over time. Few people in his life had stuck around.
That didn’t stop Roan from hoping like hell that Colton Seguine was one of those people who did.
Fourteen
SEG WATCHED AS ROAN GREASED his cock, stroking him roughly, making his breath saw in and out of his lungs. He sensed something in Roan. Something that felt like submission and not merely in the sexual sense.
The first time they’d been together had been crazy hot, but they’d both been chasing the same thing. Then the night that Roan showed up on his doorstep, Seg had taken his time, wanting to savor the moment, needing to find a way to convince Roan that there was something between them. He hadn’t succeeded. Not as well as he’d hoped, anyway.
But this… It was different. Roan wasn’t combative, didn’t seem to be making this solely about chasing his release, driving them both to completion as fast as possible. That gave Seg hope, allowed him to be okay with all the things he wanted from this man. And sex wasn’t the only thing on that list.
Harmless (Pier 70 Book 4) Page 13
