Harmless (Pier 70 Book 4)

by Nicole Edwards

  “Ah, damn.”

  He recalled the puck bunny, but he didn’t remember her name. Not that it mattered.

  Kaufman.

  “Seg, what the hell are you doing, man?”

  Looking up, Seg noticed the concerned gaze of his team’s captain. “Wassup, Optimus?”

  “Man, no more for you.” Kaufman’s tone left no room for argument.

  “No worries,” Seg explained. “I was just about to leave. Going home with…” He glanced at the woman sitting on his lap. For the life of him, he couldn’t fucking remember her name.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” Kaufman said to the woman. “He’s had more than his fair share tonight. Why don’t you write down your number and I’ll make sure he gets it.”

  Seg didn’t want her fucking number. He didn’t want her.

  With Kaufman’s help, the woman got off Seg’s lap, her blue eyes twinkling as she smiled down at him. Seg tried to smile. He wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not because he was numb. Head to toe. And he had the alcohol to thank for that. The shots had worked nicely.

  “I need to go home,” he muttered to himself, trying to push up out of his seat.

  “I’ve got a cab coming for you,” Kaufman told him.

  Seg nodded. He might be the world’s biggest dumb ass—proven by his actions tonight—but he damn sure knew he was in no shape to drive.

  As the memory faded, Seg’s head pounded at the base of his skull.

  Shit.

  Had it not been for Kaufman interfering, who knew what Seg might’ve done last night.

  He forced his eyes open.

  Yes, Kaufman had both driven the nail into the coffin of his career and saved him from doing something stupid. The guy had convinced Seg to dump the puck bunny and go home. He’d even called Seg a cab.

  Forcing himself to sit up, Seg dropped his feet over the edge of the bed and waited while his brain stabilized. He stared at the floor as the conversation with Roan replayed in his head.

  Damn it.

  He’d fucked shit up in a bad way last night.

  For that, he deserved the hangover.

  And then some.

  After taking a shower, Seg managed to make his way to the kitchen. His mother was sitting at the small kitchen table, playing on her iPad.

  “Good afternoon, sunshine,” she greeted, though her tone wasn’t as cheerful as she probably thought.

  “Afternoon,” he grumbled back, making his way to the refrigerator.

  “Long night?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What time did Roan leave?”

  Seg didn’t look at his mother. No way could he answer that without her realizing what a total fuckup he was. He had no idea what time Roan left, but he assumed it was shortly after Roan called him and Seg pretty much blew him off by telling him he was going to let the puck bunny ride his dick.

  Aw, damn. He was going to be sick. He headed for the sink, leaned over, and planted his hands on the counter.

  “Seggy?”

  “Hmm.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Nothing to talk about.”

  “No?”

  He glanced over to see his mother holding up her iPad.

  “I’d beg to differ.”

  Seg squinted at the screen to see a picture of Roan and Deb smiling and laughing. It was taken during the hockey game last night. Seg didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know what the article was about.

  He stood up straight, took a deep breath, and exhaled through his nose. The nausea subsided. “I need to call Roan.”

  “Seggy, sit down.”

  Seg turned toward his mother. Her expression was serious, her tone reflecting her worry.

  “I don’t need a lecture, Ma.”

  “Sit. Down.”

  When Debra Seguine took that tone of voice, Seg knew not to argue. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took the chair across from her.

  “I want you to think back to before last night.”

  He continued to watch her.

  “You were happy.”

  It wasn’t a question.

  “More so than I’ve ever seen you, in fact.”

  He couldn’t argue with that.

  “You finally figured out who you are, no?”

  Seg nodded, staring down at the water bottle.

  “And Roan makes you happy.”

  He offered another nod.

  “Then I have to ask you something.”

  Lifting his gaze to meet hers, he waited.

  “Why are you letting this reporter win?” She waved her hand toward her iPad. “He’s turned something good into something foul. Is that how you see yourself? This thing between you and Roan? Is it a bad thing?”

  “Of course not.”

  His mother pursed her lips, her doubt evident on her face. “Could’ve fooled me.”

  She brought the iPad to life and scrolled down the screen. There in vivid color was the picture of Seg with the puck bunny. His stomach lurched, and he once again fought the urge to puke.

  “When you told me you were gay, Seggy, I wasn’t surprised. Nor was I disappointed. Like I said, I love you for you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Yet last night … whatever happened … it was clear you were ashamed.”

  “I wasn’t,” he countered, though he didn’t buy it himself.

  Her expression told him she didn’t believe him.

  “And I have to say, as soon as I saw the picture, I was disappointed. My first thought was of Roan and how much pain he would be in after seeing this.”

  Seg closed his eyes. As much as he wanted the picture to disappear, he knew there was no way Roan hadn’t seen it.

  “Seggy?”

  Forcing his eyes open, Seg looked at his mother.

  “I understand the need to keep your private life private. I even understand the world of professional sports being somewhat conservative in the matter of gay athletes. But honestly…”

  Seg waited, knowing she wasn’t finished.

  Deb leaned back and rested her hands on the table. “You’ve got these football players taking a knee during the national anthem.” Her face scrunched in disgust. “Now, I’m not from the States, but I can tell you that I stand proudly for the national anthem—mine and theirs—my hand over my heart. This country has given my son the ability to do what he loves to do. And the men and women who have fought for their country deserve the respect of me being on my feet. It’s the absolute least I can do. So, if the National Football League can sit back and state that those men have the right to express their disdain for their own country, then by God, you have the right to love who you want to love, and the National Hockey League is going to stand behind you.”

  As heartfelt as he knew that speech was, his mother was wrong. “It’s not the league I worry about, Ma.”

  “No? It’s the other players? In the locker room? What? Do they think you’ll be in there ogling them? These are men who’ve played hockey with you for years. They respect you and your abilities. I don’t think you give them enough credit.”

  “So you’re saying I should come out?” He felt his anger rising.

  She sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying. However, I’m saying that you’re letting one little twiddle fart screw up your entire life, just when you’ve found yourself. So what if he publicly states that you’ve got a boyfriend. You do, don’t you?”

  No. He’d had a boyfriend. After last night, Seg seriously doubted Roan would ever speak to him again, and he couldn’t blame him.

  His mother reached over and took his hand. “Seggy, what I’m telling you is that if you try to hide who you truly are, you’re going to be miserable. I can’t tell you that you can live out and proud while playing hockey, but you don’t have to hide in the dark anymore either.”

  He nodded.

  “Did you talk to Phoenix? What does he think about all this?”

  Seg hadn’t had the chance.

  No, amend that. He hadn
’t even tried to talk to Phoenix.

  “I didn’t think so,” Deb stated, reaching over and patting his hand. “I want you to go talk to him. For one, you owe him an explanation since I’m sure he’s had the displeasure of seeing this article. Then, once you’ve done that, you can call Roan, get down on your knees, and beg him for another chance. That man doesn’t deserve what you did to him.”

  Seg felt tears prick the backs of his eyes. He hated himself for what he’d done.

  “Think of it this way,” his mother continued, “if Liam was old enough to read this…”

  Oh, holy fuck.

  His stomach churned and Seg shot to his feet and bolted to his bathroom. The mere thought of hurting Roan was bad enough, but Liam…

  Seg suddenly wasn’t sure he even deserved them anymore.

  Cheater or bisexual? Or is there a difference?

  Let’s talk hockey, shall we?

  Or rather, let’s talk about what’s in the water back in the locker room.

  No, I’m not referring to lead or anything like that. I’m talking specifically about the water the Austin Arrows organization is passing out. It appears to be tainted.

  If you’re familiar with the Arrows, you know that their owner, Phoenix Pierce, came out a couple of years ago spouting some nonsense about being in a relationship with a man and a woman. Initially, I thought this was his way of guarding his secret, passing off being gay as some sort of party trick. Seriously. A man and a woman.

  However, I can no longer question them because Phoenix has officially—albeit not legally—tied the knot with both Mia and Tarik. It appears Phoenix is bisexual.

  Now, don’t get me wrong. I still think this is a fad. If you go to the local high school, chances are you’ll find a handful of bisexual students. Or so they claim. More likely, they’re bi-curious, and since they’re just now getting a glimpse at the hormones wreaking havoc on their lives, it makes sense. But for a grown man to publicly claim he’s in love with both a man and a woman… I call bullshit.

  But here’s what gets me.

  Last night, while at the game against Los Angeles, I caught a glimpse at a family member for one of the Arrows players. You probably know him. First line defenseman Colton Seguine. I thought it would be interesting to try to get a bit of information from dear old mom since Seguine’s been having a great year. It was good to see his family support.

  So, I moved closer.

  That’s when the night got really interesting.

  Turns out, you can pick up some rather juicy details while you’re watching a hockey game. Details such as the fact that the gentleman sitting beside Seguine’s mother happens to be Seg’s…

  Boyfriend.

  Yes, you heard it here first. Colton Seguine is gay.

  When I confronted Seguine, trying to get my facts straight, I was told by none other than the Arrows captain, Spencer “Optimus” Kaufman, that “what Seg does in his off time is none of your goddamn business.” That’s a direct quote, folks. It appears Seguine has support from his teammates on this matter.

  Another interesting fact came when I found Seguine at the Penalty Box—a local hangout for the Arrows players owned by none other than Kaufman’s kid sister, Ellie. During my time at the sports bar, I found Seguine dabbling in a little female companionship.

  Does it sound to you like he has a boyfriend?

  And that brings me back to my original question. What’s in the water in the locker room? It appears that whatever it is, it’s possibly spreading through the Arrows organization like wild fire. So, does this mean that Colton Seguine is gay? Or bisexual? Or is he merely a cheater?

  We’ll have to wait and see, I think. I’m sure he’ll let it slip out sooner or later.

  “WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT now?” Cam asked as he lifted his gaze from his phone, where he’d been reading that absurd article for the second time. Maybe third.

  Roan wanted to incinerate his best friend with his eyes.

  Cam had brought Liam home three hours ago, yet he was still there, still sitting on Roan’s couch, still pestering him to talk about last night.

  Roan didn’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever.

  “You know I’m not gonna quit, right?” Cam stared at the television, but Roan knew he was talking to him. “I can sit right here all damn day if I have to.”

  Well, then he’d keep on sitting there, now wouldn’t he? Roan wasn’t going to talk about Seg. He wasn’t going to talk about the fact that he’d been a fool and fallen in love with a man who would never come out of the closet. Not willingly, anyway.

  Yes, Roan had held out hope. He’d even understood, but last night’s fiasco was proof that Seg had no intention of ever being truly happy.

  Roan had seen the article. And he’d dry heaved for about ten minutes after he’d read it. The mere idea of Seg with that girl… His stomach gurgled again.

  “Maybe it’s not what you think,” Cam stated.

  “Eternal optimism is bullshit,” Roan grumbled.

  “You haven’t talked to him. How do you know?” Cam’s eyes reflected both sympathy and curiosity.

  “Because he told me. And I can see with my own two eyes.”

  Cam waved him off. “You know better than to believe everything you read.”

  Roan shot to his feet and stomped into the kitchen. The more he thought about Seg, the angrier he got. How could he have been so fucking stupid? He’d spent his entire life guarding his heart, and the one time he let someone in…

  That would teach him.

  “You know what your problem is?”

  Roan spun around to find Cam standing directly behind him.

  “You think too damn much.”

  “Fuck you.” There was no heat in his words, but Roan could feel his anger simmering.

  “No, it’s true. You think you don’t deserve to be happy, and you spend so much time dwelling on it.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Trust me,” Cam continued, “you’re not the only one. I’ve done it. Dare’s done it. Teague… Well, we won’t even get into that.”

  Roan didn’t know where Cam was going with this.

  “You spend so much time as the martyr, Roan. You’ve given up your whole life for others. Namely your sister. Why? Because you felt there was some truth to her saying your mother wouldn’t have left if you weren’t gay.” Cam rolled his eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it. She was looking for a way out from day fucking one. I remember all those days and nights I hung out at your house. They fucking fought like mad. I’m tempted to say your mother hated your father. You were her scapegoat.”

  “Are you trying to piss me off?”

  Cam’s smile was sad. “Not at all. But I am trying to get you to see that you deserve to be happy, too.”

  “I am happy. I’ve got Liam. He’s all I need.”

  “Yeah? So you haven’t been walking around with your head in the clouds since you met Seg? Secretly wishing you could see him again? Don’t even try to deny it. I know you better than that.”

  “I’m not gonna spend my life hiding for him,” Roan countered, taking a deep breath.

  “And you shouldn’t. But don’t lie to yourself. You considered it. You were happy enough with him to compromise.” Cam took a step closer. “That’s what love is.”

  “Well, love isn’t having some bitch perched on your lap to prove to the world that you’re not gay,” Roan snapped.

  “No, it’s not. But did you happen to think of what he was going through at the time? If that reporter threatened to out him and Seg thought for a second he was going to lose everything he’s worked so damn hard for…”

  “Fuck that. He could’ve talked to me.”

  “So you’ve never gone off half-cocked and said or done something you regret?” Cam’s eyes flashed.

  Roan looked away. He knew Cam was referring to the time Roan blurted out that he was in love with his best friend. It hadn’t been true, but he’d been de
sperate at the time.

  Roan sighed. “You know, I really hate it when you’re rational.”

  Cam chuckled. “I know, right? You’re lucky it doesn’t happen often.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “You give it some time, but you don’t write Seg off just yet.”

  Roan wasn’t even sure why he was worrying about it. It wasn’t like he’d heard from Seg anyway. He doubted he would. With all the shit he was probably having to deal with, Roan figured he was the last thing on Seg’s mind.

  “Can you at least promise me that? You won’t kick him out of your life just yet?”

  Roan shrugged. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He needed time to think this over, to figure out what it was he even wanted. Seg had violated his trust in a big way by pulling that stunt last night. And if Seg spent the night with that woman…

  That would be unforgiveable.

  No way was Roan going to be second to anyone. Ever.

  Twenty-Four

  Monday, February 6th

  SEG BOTH ANTICIPATED AND FEARED having this conversation with Phoenix, but it was long overdue. For one, it had been a week since that article was printed. The one that had directly drawn Phoenix into the spotlight for something that Seg had done.

  Well, technically, Seg hadn’t done anything to garner the attention of the reporter, but everyone knew they were like sharks when they smelled blood. And that article had spawned a half dozen more by other news outlets. Up to this point, Seg had declined all comments and refused to speak about the situation.

  Phoenix, on the other hand, was fielding the questions and being much more politically correct about it. That was probably the very reason the man was a business mogul, running a multimillion-dollar (perhaps billion, Seg wasn’t sure) real estate empire along with owning an NHL team.

  “Mr. Pierce will see you now,” the receptionist informed him, motioning him toward Phoenix’s office.

  Getting to his feet, he forced his legs to move to the door.

  “Come on in,” Phoenix called from his spot behind his desk.

  Swiping his hand over his suit jacket, Seg tried to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles. He wasn’t sure why he’d dressed up for this meeting, but that was how it worked. When you were directly summoned to Phoenix Pierce’s office, you painted on your professional face.