Seg stepped into the plush office, bracing himself for the ass reaming he deserved.
“Can I get you anything? Water? I hear it’s got some magical powers or some shit.”
Seg laughed, shaking his head. The guy was joking about this?
“No? Suit yourself. How are you doing?” Phoenix asked when Seg took a seat in the leather chair directly across from Phoenix.
“Great.”
A slow grin formed on Phoenix’s face. “Yeah? Well, you look like shit.”
The breath he’d been holding released in a rush. “I feel like shit,” he admitted.
“And you should. Your world’s been turned upside down in the past week.” Phoenix smiled. “But it hasn’t affected your game, so I give you props for that.”
Seg barked a dry laugh. “Thanks?”
“Anytime. So, tell me what’s going on.”
“You want the personal details? Or the facts?” Seg questioned drily.
Phoenix cocked an eyebrow, his smile disappearing.
Seg leaned back and crossed one ankle over his knee. He wiped the imaginary lint off his pants leg, then looked up at Phoenix. “I’m sorry you got dragged into my personal bullshit.”
Another smile formed on Phoenix’s mouth. “Oh. Is that why the press is all over me about being bisexual? Thank Christ. I mean, I thought for sure it was old news by now and the reporters were done with me.” Phoenix rolled his eyes, then leaned forward and rested his forearms on his desk. “Look. I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going on with you. It’s not my business either. Not unless you want to talk about it. However, I’ll tell you one thing. The media has had a field day with me. This isn’t the first time and it damn sure won’t be the last. And I’m okay with that.”
Seg snorted. Okay with it? How the fuck could this man be okay with the media being so fucking curious as to what Phoenix did behind closed doors.
“Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t okay with it in the beginning,” Phoenix continued. “But what do you do? I’m happy. My husband and wife are happy. My mother’s happy. My father’s probably in heaven laughing his ass off because the reporters think they’re hurting me every time they bring my name up. What’s the saying? No publicity is bad publicity?”
Seg stared at Phoenix, letting it all sink in. He seemed seriously okay with this.
“The bottom line is, my family is doing well. That’s all I care about. As long as they aren’t being harassed, I’m golden.”
Shit. Seg didn’t even think about the fact that Roan might be dealing with this bullshit, too.
“Talk to me, Seg. Because you’ve done a drastic one-eighty and closed yourself off completely this past week, I’m going to have to assume the rumors are true.”
Seg didn’t respond. He didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to be ousted from the league.
“No comment. Okay, then. I’m moving along with the assumption that, yes, you are gay.” Phoenix leaned back and rested his hands on his stomach. “Now for the hard part.”
Seg waited, his breath locking up his lungs. He felt light-headed.
“No, wait. That was the hard part.” Phoenix grinned. “Actually, the hardest part was probably coming to terms with yourself, huh?” He shook his head. “No, I’m not a shrink, but I can tell you that I’ve been down the road you’re on. It’s not an easy one. But the one thing I learned a long damn time ago… If you want to be happy, be happy. If you want to sit around and drive yourself and everyone else insane, pretend that it didn’t happen. That always goes over well.”
Seg’s heart was pounding a mile a minute.
He’d always liked Phoenix. The owner of the Arrows was an all-around cool guy. He was quick to laugh and joke with the players, always making sure he was available for them. He considered the team as much his family as he did his actual family.
“How’s Roan doing with all of this?” Phoenix asked. “That’s his name, right? It’s what I read on the Internet, which means it must be true.”
Seg couldn’t help but laugh. And relax. A little. “Yeah. His name is Roan.” Seg dropped his foot to the floor and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know how he’s doing. I haven’t talked to him.”
“Understandable.” Phoenix cocked an eyebrow. “Considering you were pictured with a woman, I guess it’s safe to say there’s some tension between the two of you.”
Shit.
Seg nodded. No sense denying it.
“Kaufman came to me,” Phoenix admitted. “He said he was there the night the reporter approached. Given he was mentioned by name in the article, I’d already come to that conclusion. Want to know what he said?”
Seg wasn’t sure he did, but he nodded anyway.
“He said it’s all bullshit.”
“It’s not,” Seg admitted. “I am gay.”
Phoenix’s smile was slow and knowing. “That’s not what he meant.”
“Oh.”
“He thinks the attention you’re getting is bullshit. He doesn’t see you any differently than anyone else. No one’s crawling up his ass asking for details of his relationship, now are they?”
Seg didn’t know.
“If you don’t mind me asking, is Roan out? Or rather, was he before this?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that probably helps. At least the press won’t harp on him for it. They’ll be more interested in how he managed to turn you gay. Because that’s what happened, right? You were straight as an arrow before.” Phoenix chuckled. “Bad pun. I know.”
“I hadn’t come to terms with it,” Seg told him, holding his stare. “Not until I met Roan.”
“And suddenly you knew.”
Seg nodded.
“I get it. Nothing to be ashamed of there.”
“How do I deal with my teammates?” Seg blurted.
Phoenix didn’t seem taken aback by the question. “Well, that’s easy. You walk around acting weird and shit. Pretending that nothing’s going on. That’s the way they prefer it.”
Seg drew in a deep breath. Clearly Phoenix was going to put him in his place by not actually putting him in his place. “So they’re cool with it?”
“Well…” Phoenix appeared to be considering this. “When we all sat around having coffee this morning, chirping like old ladies, they didn’t seem bothered by it.”
Seg laughed. “Okay, I get it.”
“Do you?” Phoenix’s tone turned serious.
Seg met and held his gaze.
“Is your hockey career over, Seg?”
Frowning, Seg tried to process the question.
“Because from where I stand, you’ve got a lot of years in front of you. It’s all about what you make of it. Are all your teammates going to be okay with the fact that you’re gay? No, probably not. But are you okay with the fact that Benne’s a self-proclaimed womanizer? Or that Rush has something going on with Kaufman’s sister? Or that Evans is still dating the same girl he dated in high school, but he hasn’t been faithful? Or how about the fact that Coach Moen has five dogs?”
“This is more serious than that.”
“Is it?” Phoenix didn’t look convinced. “Did you think about how Coach Putnam feels about Benne? Putnam has a daughter in college and Benne met her. He’s probably more worried about whether his nineteen-year-old daughter is going to get played by Benne. Or how about Kaufman? His ex-girlfriend works in media relations. Amber North? Know her? It’s all relative, Seg.”
Seg shook his head. The guy was a veritable gossip rag all on his own.
“They only give a shit if you give them reason to, Seg. They knew you before that article came out. Will someone come to me because they’re uncomfortable that you’re in the locker room at the same time they are? Probably.” Phoenix sighed. “And I’m gonna tell them to grow some balls and get over it. It’ll only be uncomfortable for them if you let it be.”
It all sounded good, but Seg knew better. Phoenix was trying to talk him off the l
edge. Granted, he was doing a decent job, but that didn’t mean that Seg could ignore all the press he was getting. His name was everywhere. Reporters wanted his story. Hell, they’d started harassing his mother for exclusive information. So much so that Seg had put her on a plane and sent her home with the instruction to keep it to herself.
“Look. I can’t make this easier for you. Not entirely. But I can tell you that your position within my team is stable. You’re here for the duration. We just renewed you and your contract’s not up for another seven years, Seg. Unless you decide to do something different, you’re still playing hockey.”
Seg nodded. That was all he cared about.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He cared about Roan, but he knew without a doubt that he’d fucked that up beyond repair.
And nothing Phoenix could say or do would change that.
“IT’S TOO DAMN COLD TO be here,” Dare groused, standing at the counter of the marina office. “Only a dumb ass would be here today.”
Roan cocked an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean.”
“Noah at work?” Cam questioned.
The three of them, along with Liam, were sitting in the marina office shooting the shit. Well, technically Liam wasn’t contributing a whole lot. Then again, neither was Dare despite his mouth constantly flapping, but that wasn’t anything new.
“Yeah. My man’s out saving the world, one floor heater at a time.” Dare hefted himself up onto the counter. “Have you talked to Milly lately? How’s she doing?”
Cam grinned. “Same old Milly. Driving Gannon absolutely batshit crazy.”
“How far along is she now? Seven months? Eight? I don’t keep track of that shit.”
“She could pop at any minute,” Cam stated. “According to her anyway.”
“She’s thirty-seven weeks, right?” Roan asked.
All eyes turned on him.
“What?”
“I thought they went by months,” Dare noted. “Not weeks.”
“Nope.” Cam grinned. “Apparently it’s all tracked in weeks.” He glanced at Roan. “And yes, she’s thirty-seven weeks. She’s going to the doctor once a week. They think she’ll go early.”
Dare glanced between the two of them. “And AJ?”
Roan laughed. He’d spent some time with Milly over the past week, and it seemed that where Milly went, AJ went. She acted like it drove her insane to have him underfoot, but her baby’s daddy was quite adamant that he wasn’t going to let her go into labor without him there.
Although the two of them weren’t technically in a relationship, one wouldn’t know that by looking at them. Roan was pretty sure Milly was still on the fence about how to make it work, insisting that an accidental pregnancy was no reason for them to fake it. From Roan’s point of view, there wasn’t anything fake about it. Those two liked each other. A lot. They were both simply clueless about how to make it all work.
“He’s excited,” Cam told Dare.
“That’s an understatement,” Roan added.
“So, they gonna get married or what?”
Roan and Cam shrugged at the same time.
“Well, they’re running out of time to make it happen before Baby Balcomb gets here.”
“Says the man who’s living in sin,” Cam added. “Wait. They’re naming their kid Balcomb?”
Dare smirked. “Ballard and Holcomb.”
Cam rolled his eyes.
“And hey. We’re getting married,” Dare insisted. “We just haven’t set a date yet.”
“That’s not what I heard.” Roan leaned back in his chair. “I heard that every time Noah comes up with a date, you shoot it down.”
“He wanted to get married on Christmas,” Dare grumbled. “I’m not getting married on Christmas. I mean, who would be there to officiate anyway?”
“I would,” Cam said. “I got ordained just for this glorious occasion, remember?”
Roan laughed. He remembered when Cam had been harassing Dare about it in the beginning. That quickly took Dare’s rebuttal off the table. Now he was down to bitching about the weather patterns of the months that Noah suggested. Too hot. Too cold. Too rainy.
“Do you not want to get married?” Cam questioned.
“Of course I do.” Dare glanced down at his hands. “In fact, I wish it had already happened. I’m just not keen on the idea of going through the motions. I don’t want a wedding.”
“Then don’t have one,” Roan noted. “Do what Hudson and Teague did.”
Dare sighed. “Milly’s making a big deal out of it.”
Considering Milly was Noah’s stepsister, it made sense. She wanted to make a big production out of everything. They’d even caught her in cahoots with Dare’s grandmother, trying to plan it all out.
“How’s Seg?” Dare asked, clearly changing the subject.
Roan sat up straight and turned toward the computer screen. The last person he wanted to talk about was Seg.
“Have you called him?” Cam inquired.
Leave it to Cam to interrogate him in front of Dare. Since the guy wasn’t getting the answers he wanted one-on-one, it seemed the logical route. Didn’t mean Roan was going to answer him.
“I heard he’s doing a press conference.”
Roan spun around to stare at Dare. “What?”
“Yeah. Same reaction I had. Looks like he’s gonna come out officially.”
This was the first Roan was hearing of it. “Why would he do that?”
“Sounds to me like he’s got the support of the team’s owner. They just announced it. I was checking the schedule for their next game and it’s a side note on their website.”
“Interesting.” Cam pinched his chin with his finger and thumb. “Sounds to me like you’ve run out of excuses, too.”
Roan glared at Cam, then looked at Dare. “So, the wedding’s when again?”
Two could play that game.
The minute he pulled down his street nearly three hours later, Roan knew there was a problem. A big one. There were vans lining both sides of the street in front of his house and these weren’t just any vans. They were news vans.
“Looks like we’re gonna take a detour, little buddy,” he told Liam as he drove right on past their house.
He seriously doubted that it was a coincidence when his phone rang a minute later. The screen read: Hockey Boy.
Yeah.
Not answering that.
The dry ember of anger in his gut sparked to life from the mere thought of Seg calling him. Really. It’d already been a fucking week, and the asshole hadn’t had the balls to call him yet. Why was he doing it now?
When the call went to voice mail, Roan dialed Cam’s number.
“Hey.”
“You mind if Liam stays the night tonight?”
“Not at all. Why? Something wrong?”
“Looks as though the news crews want a piece of me now that Seg has come out of the closet.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. They’re stalking my house.”
“Why don’t you stay here, too?”
“You’re too good to me,” Roan told him.
“That’s what friends do.”
“We’re on our way. And Cam?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
“Not a problem. You know we’d do anything for you.”
Yeah. Roan did know that. Took him a long damn time to finally admit it to himself, but he knew.
He also knew that he had to do something to make this stop.
Unfortunately, in order for that to happen, Roan had to cut Seg loose forever.
It was the only way he could protect Liam.
Not to mention, his heart.
Twenty-Five
SEG ABSOLUTELY DETESTED BEING IN front of cameras. Sure, he had to do these things from time to time, but those were vastly different. He could talk about the game all night long. But this… All these reporters standing there watching him, waiting to hear the juic
y dirt that was his personal life. Yeah. No fucking thank you.
“You’ll do fine,” Phoenix said softly, his hand landing firmly on Seg’s shoulder. “Only tell them as much as you want to share.”
Seg managed a nod, then moved to the long table where the microphone had been set up. In front of him was a glass of water. He eyed it, hesitant to look at the people ready to pummel him with questions.
Finally, he took a breath and made eye contact at the same time Phoenix took the seat beside him.
“We’re ready,” Phoenix informed the media. “But I want you to understand, if I don’t like your line of questioning, I’ll call a halt to it. Keep it professional, keep it clean. And by all means, remember that Colton Seguine is a human being, just like you. He doesn’t have to be here at all, so consider yourselves warned.”
Someone cleared their throat, and then the first question came like a shot out of a cannon.
“Seg, can you tell us when you realized you were gay?”
Frowning, Seg swallowed hard. He thought about his past briefly, about the couple of encounters he’d had with men, about how meaningless they’d been. Then he thought about Roan.
“It’s something I realized recently,” he informed the woman watching him.
“And what about the man you’re seeing?” someone else questioned. “Who is he? How long have you known him?”
Seg reached for the water. He took a sip, trying to formulate a response. Phoenix’s words replayed in his head: Only tell them as much as you want to share.
“Look,” he stated firmly. “I’m not interested in answering questions, so I’ll give you a summary. Yes, I’m gay. And the man that I’ve been with … he’s my soul mate. I knew it the very second that I met him.”
“What about the woman?”
Taking a deep breath, Seg opted for the truth. “I panicked because someone was digging into my personal life. I don’t care much to share my life off the ice. That’s not the important thing. I’m here to play a game and I do that. But in an effort to quell your curiosity, I’ll tell you that the man I’ve been seeing is the only man I’ve ever had any feelings for. Are they real? Absolutely. Will he ever forgive me for what I did? Probably not. And I doubt I deserve it either. But that’s the way it is. I was scared. I freaked out, and I hurt the one and only person I’ve ever cared about. So now, if it’s possible, I’d like to move on with my life. I’d like to get back to playing hockey.”
Harmless (Pier 70 Book 4) Page 21
