Harmless (Pier 70 Book 4)

by Nicole Edwards

  Looking back on it now, it was easy to say that he’d been an idiot for not trusting Phoenix in the first place. He should’ve done what he’d originally intended and he could’ve bypassed all this pain. For himself and everyone around him.

  “And your mom?” Roan’s eyebrows lifted in question. “Is she doing okay?”

  Seg liked that Roan was concerned about his mother. He was close to her, and knowing that Roan would be the type of man who would worry about her the same way he did gave him a sense of peace. It was another reason he loved this man.

  “I sent her home. I didn’t want her getting mixed up in all of this.”

  It wasn’t as simple as sending her back to the house he’d grown up in, but Seg knew that having her here wouldn’t help matters any. Mostly because she wouldn’t be able to hold her tongue. With reporters practically camped out on his porch, she would’ve eventually lost her cool, and Seg didn’t want her to go off on a tangent. Not that she wouldn’t have put them in their place, because that would’ve been one hell of a dressing down, but still.

  “You need to know that she’s disappointed in what I did,” Seg told Roan. “She’s already come to care about you and Liam. I’ve spent my entire life working to put a smile on her face, and she’s never openly admitted her disappointment. So, not only did I let you down, I let her down too.”

  Seg needed to man up and own this, and by admitting as much, he felt as though he was. He didn’t need his mother’s protection. Seg had to show the world—and himself—that this was how things were going to be. It was the only way he’d be happy.

  “What do we do now, Seg?” Roan leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do we start over? From the beginning?”

  Seg couldn’t stop the memories from flooding his brain. Those from the very first night they were together. The smile took over before he could stop it.

  “That’s not what I meant,” Roan noted, but there was a small smile forming on his succulent lips.

  Before Seg could close the distance between them, Roan’s phone rang.

  Seg watched as Roan pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen.

  “It’s my dad.” Roan’s eyes were wide.

  Seg nodded, knowing Roan needed to answer the call. He turned and walked into the kitchen, offering Roan a small amount of privacy.

  “Dad?”

  Unable to help himself, he watched Roan. The expressions that moved across his face were a mixture of fear and concern. The conversation seemed mostly one-sided since Roan’s responses were all single words.

  But then Roan sighed dramatically, followed by, “Yes, Liam’s fine.” His brows lowered. “No, we’re good. No issues.”

  The conversation continued with Roan frowning more and more. Seg had no idea what was being said, but he could see Roan’s irritation level rising.

  Finally, Roan ended the call with an abrupt good-bye and then turned to Seg.

  “Everything all right?”

  Roan shrugged. “With him, I’m not sure anything’s ever all right. But yeah. It’s fine.”

  Seg heard the silent for now but he didn’t push for more details. There was evidently something wrong, but Roan wasn’t going to share. Since they had other things to deal with, Seg steered the conversation.

  “Where’s Liam?”

  “With Cam and Gannon.” Roan sighed. “And I really should get back to him.”

  Seg nodded. “I don’t suppose I could talk you into bringing him back to my place. The two of you stay the night with me.”

  Roan immediately shook his head. “It’s late. I have to work tomorrow. You’ve probably got practice.”

  It was clear he was losing this war, even if he’d won part of the battle.

  Seg didn’t want to let Roan go. If the man had time to think, he’d probably come up with a plan to sever all ties with Seg. Roan was nothing if not a thinker.

  Rather than argue, Seg moved closer, coming to a stop directly in front of Roan. He tilted Roan’s head back so he could look directly into his eyes.

  “I was serious when I said I love you. I’ve never said that to anyone before. And I honestly don’t care who knows, Roan. I’m done hiding, done being scared of what this all means. I’ve lived my whole life trying to hide who I really am. Scared, in fact, of who I am. Not anymore.”

  Roan didn’t respond.

  “I want to spend my life with you.” Seg put a finger over Roan’s lips when he started to speak. “I’m not finished.”

  Roan’s golden eyes widened slightly, but he clamped his lips shut.

  “It’s going to take effort, but I will prove to you that I’m worthy of your love. That I’m not the asshole you think I am. I accept that I fucked up, and I fully intend to make it up to you. I’m not sure how yet.”

  Seg noticed the way Roan’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, his eyes dropping to Seg’s lips.

  Damn it. He came over here with the intention of talking, of working things out so they could move forward. That wasn’t easy to do with Roan eyeing him like he was dessert.

  “When you look at me like that…”

  Fuck it.

  Seg leaned in closer and pressed his mouth to Roan’s. He kissed him slowly at first, but the heat between them caught fire, and the next thing Seg knew, he had Roan pinned against the counter, his tongue thrusting deep into Roan’s mouth.

  When Roan’s hands wrapped around him, jerking him even closer, Seg lost all sense of decorum. His body took over, his need for this man far too great to ignore. His practical side warned him that this was the wrong thing to do, but the other side, the one that was terrified he might never have the chance to hold Roan again, was winning.

  “Seg…”

  “I need you, Roan,” he whispered against Roan’s lips. “So much it fucking hurts. Let me touch you. Just for a little while.”

  He fully expected Roan to push him away. It was what he deserved after the stunt he’d pulled. Instead, Roan yanked him close again, their mouths crashing together. Hands fumbled with clothing as they began moving. Seg wasn’t sure who was leading whom, but they finally made it to Roan’s bedroom, a trail of discarded clothing behind them.

  He hadn’t meant for it to go this far, but now that they were there, Seg wasn’t even remotely close to wanting to let this end.

  ROAN REALIZED LONG AGO THAT he was losing control of this situation. And when Seg kissed him, for half a second, Roan forgot what they’d been arguing about in the first place. The only thing he wanted was for Seg to touch him, to kiss him, to make all this shit disappear.

  And clearly Seg was capable of doing that, because somehow they made their way through the house and onto Roan’s bed before he even realized it. Their clothes had even miraculously disappeared during one of those drugging kisses.

  “Let me make love to you,” Seg pleaded. “I want to feel you. All of you.”

  Roan hadn’t intended for this to happen, but now that they were on his bed, skin to skin, he couldn’t stop it. He was starving for this man’s taste, his touch. The past week had been hell, and Roan wanted a little reminder of what was good between them.

  The way Seg made him feel… It set his world to rights.

  Roan must’ve given Seg the green light, because the next thing he knew, Seg was retrieving a condom from the nightstand drawer.

  When Roan attempted to turn over, Seg stopped him with a hand in the center of his chest.

  “I want you to look at me,” Seg stated, his tone gruff, his eyes wild. “Look me in the eye when I make love to you.”

  Roan swallowed past the lump in his throat. Sex with Seg was always intense, to the point Roan lost a little of himself every time. This would be no different, he knew. It wasn’t ideal, because Roan knew he couldn’t protect his heart when he was this close to Seg, but he wanted him with every labored breath he took.

  Once Seg rolled on the condom and lubed his cock, Roan pulled him down to him, fusing their lips together. He
let the kiss consume him, the feel of Seg’s warm body adding a level of security that had Roan desperate for more.

  Seg positioned Roan’s leg over his forearm and stroked his cock against Roan’s ass. A desperate moan ripped up from Roan’s throat as he gripped Seg’s neck, kissing him with every ounce of desire that raced through his bloodstream.

  When Seg’s cock breached his ass, Roan sucked in air, stilling as the pleasure-pain seared him. He relaxed, allowing the pleasure to win out.

  “Oh, fuck,” Seg groaned. “You feel so fucking good. God. I could stay just like this for the rest of my life.”

  Roan knew the feeling well. Every time he was with Seg, he never wanted it to end. And he hadn’t admitted it, but he’d been hooked from the very first time. Granted, he’d been strong enough to resist at that point, but only because the rest of his world had been crumbling down around him. Had he been in a better place at that point…

  “Love me, Roan,” Seg whispered, his breath fanning Roan’s lips. “That’s all I want.” His voice dropped an octave, his tone full of emotion. “For you to love me.”

  “I do,” he admitted, his chest expanding from his heart overflowing with the feelings behind the words.

  There was a flash of something Roan couldn’t put his finger on in the smoky blue depths of Seg’s eyes. It was as though he’d given Seg the world, and that brought more emotion churning through him.

  Seg’s thrusts were deep and slow, his breathing ragged. Roan could feel Seg’s pulse pounding in his neck, mirroring the same jackhammer effect his own heart was having.

  Roan wrapped his arm around Seg’s back, pulling him closer although they were as close as two people could get. He wanted to feel every inch of him against him.

  Seg’s hips flexed, shifting forward, pushing him deeper into Roan’s ass. He retreated slowly, inch by inch, then surged in again. The pleasure was overwhelming, driving Roan dangerously close to the pinnacle of a release that was likely going to blow the top of his head off.

  “Let me look at you,” Seg groaned.

  Roan released his hold, and Seg shifted up onto his knees. His eyes trailed from Roan’s face down to where their bodies were joined. Roan watched the expressions wash over Seg’s features as he pumped his hips, fucking Roan so painfully slow he wanted to scream.

  But then their eyes met again and Seg began fucking him. Deep. Hard.

  And it was too much. Seeing the emotions glittering in Seg’s eyes was more than Roan could handle. He was drawn too tight, hanging by a fragile thread that was going to snap at any second.

  “Come for me, Roan. I want to watch.”

  “Fuck. Me,” he gritted out between clenched teeth, his release hovering just out of reach.

  When Seg pounded into him over and over, deeper, harder, faster, that was all it took. His entire body flew apart in a climax that rivaled anything he’d ever felt. He briefly wondered if he’d ever be whole again, because this was too much. Not only the pleasure but the emotion … it coalesced into something akin to pure ecstasy.

  “Fuck, yes. Just … like… Oh, God, Roan!” Seg’s hips slammed into him one last time as he pulsed and shook, his body coming down over Roan’s.

  Feeling incredibly vulnerable, Roan grabbed Seg, pulling his mouth down and kissing him for all he was worth. It was that or lose the threadbare grip he had on his sanity.

  Considering that was the only thing he had left, Roan knew he couldn’t let go completely.

  That would come in due time.

  And for some reason, he had a feeling that time would be soon.

  Very, very soon.

  Twenty-Seven

  ROAN WOKE UP IN AN unfamiliar bed. It took him a moment to realize he was at Cam’s. His brain instantly brought forth images of last night with Seg. He’d hated leaving the man, but the call from his father had freaked him out enough that he knew he needed to be near Liam.

  Speaking of…

  He listened closely but didn’t hear a sound coming from the other room. Considering the sun was up, he knew there was no way Liam was still asleep, which meant Cam and Gannon were likely taking care of him.

  No way was Roan winning father of the year this morning. His best friends had not only kept Liam last night so Roan could spend time with Seg but were also taking care of him this morning.

  Shit. For some reason, that made Roan feel like a failure.

  That could’ve been due to the way his own father had spoken to him last night. As though Roan had no idea how to care for a child appropriately. He hadn’t explained his reason for calling out of the blue, but Roan knew he had one. The man didn’t do anything simply because he cared. Deep down, Roan figured his father blamed him for Roan’s mother leaving, although the man had never come out and said it.

  Forcing his feet to the floor, Roan summoned up the energy to get out of bed. He went straight for the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he walked into the kitchen to see Cam and Gannon talking quietly while Liam relaxed in his swing beside the kitchen table.

  The second Cam looked his way, Roan knew something was wrong.

  “Mornin’,” Gannon greeted, pushing up from his chair. “Coffee?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” Roan didn’t look away from Cam.

  “Sit.”

  Roan sat.

  “I got a call from Lydia this morning.”

  Roan could see the concern in Cam’s eyes. It was obvious there had been nothing normal about this phone call from Roan’s stepmother. Then again, when Roan’s stepmother called Cam, it couldn’t possibly be simply to shoot the shit. For whatever reason, Lydia had never been Cam’s biggest fan.

  “And…?”

  “And she wanted to know the situation with you and Seg. Apparently they’ve had some visitors.” Cam glanced down at his coffee cup. “Reporters. She’s concerned.”

  “About…?”

  Cam gave him the look that said, seriously, you are not that dense. Roan pretended not to notice.

  Before Cam could elaborate, Roan’s cell phone rang. He prayed it was Seg, but even before he pulled his phone from his pocket, he knew he wouldn’t get that lucky.

  It wasn’t Seg. It was his father.

  Twice in such a short time meant something bad was lurking. Roan could feel it in his gut.

  Cam got to his feet. “Go ahead and answer it, then we’ll figure this out.”

  Roan grimaced. He didn’t like the sound of that.

  After hitting the button to answer the call, his gaze traveled to Liam. His son was grinning, and Roan’s heart instantly swelled.

  “Dad? What’s up?”

  “Roan, what’s going on?”

  Roan glanced at Cam. “What do you mean?”

  His father’s voice held a hint of frustration. “What I mean is I’ve got reporters camped out in my front yard asking to talk to me about my son and his … famous lover. When I called you last night, I thought I’d give you the benefit of the doubt. See if you’d share with me, ask for help. But you didn’t. You went on as though nothing was wrong.”

  “Nothing is wrong,” he assured him.

  “Now you’re lying to me again.”

  Son of a bitch.

  “Dad—”

  “Roan, I don’t know what the hell you’re up to, but I honestly think you need to consider what this could do to Liam. Your face is all over the news and they’re talking about...”

  “About…?” Roan wanted to hear his father finish that sentence.

  “Your … uh … love life.”

  So fucking what? There wasn’t a damn thing Roan could do to change that, so what was his father all up in arms about? Or was this his way of interfering? Of trying to make Roan the bad guy?

  Probably.

  Then again, this sounded like something Lydia would say. Not Daniel. Was his father the bearer of bad news these days? Did they really believe Roan would do anything to harm Liam? Or put him in a harmful situation?

  It was bullshit, and they both knew it. Maybe
the sports stations were airing the details, but this wasn’t big enough to hit national news.

  He let his father continue anyway.

  “Lydia wanted me to call you. She … uh … we think you should bring Liam to us. That boy has been through hell already. He doesn’t need to be subjected to anymore trauma.”

  A sudden chill filled him, ice forming in his veins. “What?”

  “It’s apparent that your love life is more important than raising Liam. You promised us you weren’t seeing anyone. And we believed you. You need to think about what’s in his best interest, son.”

  What the hell did that have to do with anything?

  Roan couldn’t speak. A million rebuttals were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t put voice to any of them. Shit. His father didn’t know the first thing about what was going on in Roan’s life. Or Liam’s, for that matter. The man never bothered to call. In fact, neither his stepmother nor his father had made an attempt to see Liam in the past month. What in the hell gave them the impression that Roan wasn’t raising Liam right? Why would Roan even consider allowing them to raise him?

  “Look, Roan. Lydia said if you’ll bring Liam to us, allow us to take care of him, that she won’t make this into a big production. You can sign guardianship over—”

  Roan caught the “she” in that statement. She won’t make this into a big production.

  Blood roared in his ears and Roan’s body tightened, preparing for a fight. “What the fuck?” he growled.

  “You know that’s not a good situation to put Liam in, Roan,” his father said, his tone one of complete authority. “He shouldn’t be dealing with this. It was bad enough he had a drug addict for a mother, now this.”

  “Are you saying that being gay is in any way related to being a drug addict?” The man was off his fucking rocker.

  “What I’m saying is that Liam would be better off in our care.”

  “Not. Gonna. Happen.”

  “Don’t make this difficult, Roan. It’s what’s best, and you know it. Cassie’s probably rolling over in her grave knowing that her son’s being raised by…”