DoubleBind

by Sindra vin Yssel

  He put his arm around her waist and guided her out of the room, confident she’d let him steer as long as she was waiting for an answer. One of the side rooms was full of couches. At one, a couple were cuddling. At another, a young man was going down on a somewhat older woman. Both were oblivious to anyone around them and there was a third couch free. Garrett sat down on it and pulled Meg to sit next to him. She did, wincing.

  “He was using the heavy red flogger when I came in. So I saw that.”

  “Oh.”

  He knew she could figure out that meant he had seen the rest, but he wanted to see her reaction. “I saw him use the crop on you too. Still stings, huh?”

  “Yes.” She made a face. “Annoying.”

  “But it reminds you of what you did, too, doesn’t it?”

  She nodded.

  “And I saw you come.”

  She blushed.

  “First time in front of an audience?”

  She nodded. “I thought I was, um, experienced. A woman of the world. But not in this crowd.” She glanced over at the couple engaged in oral sex and then back at Garrett, who apparently was safer to look at.

  He nodded. “This crowd isn’t exactly the baseline.” He purposely looked over. The woman was moaning and clutching the man’s head. Back to Meg. “To say the least. Lots of first times. But it was beautiful, Meg and lovely to watch. Although I did think…”

  Her eyes narrowed and she jumped at the bait. “Thought what?”

  “That you’re probably capable of a deeper orgasm. I’d be interested in finding out, at some point.”

  “Oh.”

  “But the experience was intense, regardless, wasn’t it?” He stroked her cheek, remembering her reaction from before. He was rewarded by an intake of breath.

  “Yes,” she said, looking distracted.

  He trailed his hand down her neck. Some Doms might be offended at doing aftercare from another Dom’s scene, but as far as Garrett was concerned, aftercare was half the fun. He didn’t often flog a woman, but when he did it was for the chance to cuddle her afterward and tell her how pleased he was. “First time for a flogging too, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “You were very brave. I was impressed.”

  “Brave? Or stupid?”

  “Are you injured?”

  “No, not really.”

  He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, enjoying the way her breast pushed against his side. She didn’t resist. “Then brave, it would seem. I have seen people get injured doing a scene though. Usually—I won’t say always—it’s because their Dom didn’t know what he was doing. So it’s important to play with people you can trust and who know what they are doing. Karl knows every possible way to whack someone with something and he’s good at it, so he’s safe. Someone else might be safe to do a suspension scene with.”

  “Suspension?” Meg asked.

  “Did you see the guy tied up and hanging from the ceiling, earlier? I think he was there when Jannah took you from the bar to go see.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that. Very dangerous to do if the person you’re playing with can’t be counted on to make secure knots, or if the knots they make tighten under load. Pretty safe, if they can. I’ll never say absolutely. And part of the excitement for some people is the feeling they are pushing the boundaries.”

  Meg grinned. “Like a rollercoaster. Or skiing down a black diamond slope.”

  “Yeah. Good analogies. And two different things, right? A rollercoaster is tested and operates under very controlled circumstances. It’s what I would call safe, but with the illusion of danger. The skiing, well, there’s real danger, but you’ve weighed the risk and you’ve chosen to take it.”

  “I suppose so. And what I just did?”

  “I’d put that in the category of safe, but that’s because I know Karl and I know this crowd. For you, it might have been risky.”

  Meg smiled. “Well, I know Jannah pretty well and trust her judgment.”

  “And what did she say?”

  “She said Karl was a black diamond and I should stay away.” Her eyes lit up. “But—that he was trustworthy.”

  Garrett nodded. A fair enough description and it was worth noting that didn’t scare Meg away. She had a taste for pushing herself, or for being pushed. He’d push her in different ways. “And did you quiz her about me?”

  Meg tilted her head. “She said you were just right and I should play with you instead.”

  He was aware of her studying his reaction. He reached down and slid his arm under her knees, then turned her so her legs dangled over his lap. She looked at him curiously but didn’t pull back, so he put his hand on her ass and pulled her the rest of the way on.

  “She thought I was safe, hmm?”

  “Seems so.” Meg gazed into his eyes, as if safe was an accusation and she was challenging him with it.

  “Whether I’m safe, or a risk you’re willing to take, I definitely need your consent. Is there any way you don’t want me to touch you?” Challenge back at you, Meg. What won’t you do?

  “I barely know you.”

  “That is sometimes part of the fun.” Assuming she trusted Jannah’s vouching for him, as she’d indicated.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated anyone steady, but two in one night. I don’t know.”

  Garrett nodded. There wasn’t much he could say to that, except wait. But he knew Karl hadn’t satisfied her every need.

  “As long as it’s safe,” she said. From the way she was breathing, the idea excited her more than it worried her. Again, an indication she liked pushing the envelope. His kind of girl. Although also possibly Karl’s. He pushed that thought out of his mind for a moment. He wasn’t the jealous type, especially of his best friend and he didn’t want to start now.

  “I always practice safe sex. And if you say red, everything will stop.”

  “Then why are we even talking about it? Why don’t you do what you want and see when I say stop?” Again that look of challenge.

  “Because I’d rather everything didn’t stop quite so abruptly, when I could be forewarned.” He stroked from her cheek down her neck and when she didn’t pull back, down to her cleavage. She tilted her head down to watch his hand, which is exactly where he wanted her attention. With his other hand he eased the zipper in the back of her dress down and as the tension released, he slipped his hand inside, cupping her breast through her bra. “Because you have a sexy body I want to touch all over. And because I don’t want to start anything that will leave either of us frustrated.”

  “Is there anywhere more private we can go?” she asked, looking around. The couple cuddling had moved away, but the naked man was now fucking his woman, so slowly and so carefully that they were making almost no noise.

  Garrett waited for her gaze to return to him and shook his head. “There isn’t a room here where we could go and lock the door, if that’s what you mean.”

  “Why not? Because everyone’s a voyeur?”

  “Maybe partly. But because people often play with someone they’ve just met here. Sooner or later, if there were locked doors, something would happen that was completely nonconsensual and no one would be around to stop it. If you yell out ‘red’ here, or even the word ‘safeword’ and your partner doesn’t stop, they will be stopped.” And I’d be one of the ones stopping them. So would Karl.

  “I see.”

  “Besides, you like pushing yourself, don’t you?”

  “Um, maybe.”

  “And doing this in a locked room wouldn’t be, would it?” He pulled the dress from her shoulders and planted a column of kisses from her neck to deep between her breasts.

  “No.”

  “Or this.” Her nipples, tenting her bra, were irresistible and he sucked on one through the fabric.

  Meg’s head was swimming. She was used to being in control, in the boardroom and for the most part, in the bedroom. And while she’d never been the type to
stand on the edge of the room and watch, she hadn’t expected to be doing anything, much less with two guys, one after another. She wasn’t allergic to casual sex but she lost interest in a guy if there was no possibility of a long-term relationship, which meant pretty much every guy after the first date. Clearly, no matter what happened, she couldn’t have both Karl and Garrett.

  Karl had taken her to a place she’d never imagined, blurring pain and pleasure. She knew she’d want that again. But she wanted him to touch her and he barely had. It was wonderful but distant. Now Garrett was supplying exactly what she needed. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her chest.

  He let her, for a few seconds and then he pulled back. He eased the dress down, until it was bunched around her waist and her arms were out of the sleeves.

  Garrett traced his finger along her breasts at the edge of her bra. “All the while I was watching you, I thought of what a shame it was you were facing away from me.” He moved his hands around to the back. “And what a shame it was your breasts were covered.”

  She felt a slight release of tension as he undid one of the hooks in the back. She knew if she didn’t stop him, he’d undo all three. He’d mentioned watching her. The door to this room was also open and anyone could come and see. Karl could come and see. How would he react to Garrett baring her?

  She smiled. He’ll be jealous. And that could be a very good thing. She let Garrett remove her bra. He set it next to them and cupped her breasts. “Beautiful. Perfect.”

  She didn’t think they were perfect and yet he sounded sincere.

  He rubbed a thumb across her nipple and pleasure shot through her. “Do you like having them played with?”

  “Yes.” Isn’t it obvious? But of course it is. He wants me to admit it.

  “How roughly?” He squeezed her breasts gently.

  “Um, aren’t you supposed to decide that?”

  He smiled. “I’m not a sadist. I can be rough if you wish.” He pinched one and she yelped.

  “Or gentle.” He planted a kiss on the other. “But what I like doing is learning your body and how to get you the maximum pleasure. And the other thing I like doing is making you admit what you like. Look straight at me, Meg.”

  She met his gaze.

  “Do you want me to be gentle or rough?”

  “And you’ll do what I say?” she asked. That seemed backward.

  “No. I’ll do what I think you need. But I’ll get there faster if you’re honest.”

  Oh. So he wasn’t ceding control, after all. “The only time anyone has been rough with my boobs, I wasn’t asked first. And I didn’t like it.” But I liked when Karl nicked them with his flogger. At least I sorta liked it. I wanted more.

  “It wasn’t consensual.”

  “No. I had to push him away to make him understand.”

  “He’s not here, whoever he was.”

  “No.” The memory of him was, but he wasn’t. And the memory of wanting more from Karl was very fresh. “If you want to be rough, I’d like to see how that goes.”

  He smiled. “I will, then. But only as long as you keep your eyes on me. If you look away, I will stop. Are we clear?”

  “Like a safe word?”

  “No, more a matter of me getting what I want. I want to see every reaction and if I can’t have that, I’d rather be doing something else.” He squeezed her nipples, both at the same time, harder than before.

  His gaze held her like a magnet. Her face scrunched as he increased the pressure. Then he released it. He paused for a moment.

  “Do you like that better? Or this?” He batted her nipples with the tips of his fingers.

  She wasn’t sure. “I don’t know. That’s less intense but it…” she squirmed on his lap, aware of the growing wetness between her thighs. What he was doing to her breasts was part of what aroused her, but the intent look on his face had an even greater effect. He was so focused on her.

  “It?”

  “It’s as arousing.”

  “Your nipples are long and stiff now. Very inviting. Straddle me, if you want more.”

  If I want more. Would he stop if she didn’t? She didn’t want to take the chance and adjusted herself until her knees were on the couch, one on each side of him.

  “Like this?”

  “Beautiful.” He lifted the dress over her head, leaving her in her panties and heels. He put the dress on the couch on top of her bra.

  “Thank you.” She felt the heat rise in her face. She wasn’t usually shy about being naked in front of a man, but then, she wasn’t normally in public with a couple of people having sex behind her. And his gaze was so intense she felt like he was memorizing every aspect of her.

  “I promised you more. And I keep my promises.” He tapped her nipples a few more times and then moved his hand. This time he cocked his middle finger against his thumb and then flicked, his fingernail jolting her nipple. It stung, even worse than the wrap around whip had. She cringed, closing her eyes tight and hunching.

  “Eyes on me, pet.”

  Pet? I’m no one’s pet. But she obeyed anyway.

  “Good. Again?”

  I must be crazy. “Yes.”

  “You’ll not look away this time?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “That’s good enough.” He flicked the other peak as he had the first. This time she held his gaze, although she felt the same instinct to protect herself. “You like the pain,” he observed. “Did you know that about yourself, when you came here tonight?”

  She still wasn’t entirely sure of it. She did and she didn’t. “No. I didn’t know.”

  “That alone is worth the evening.” He cupped her breasts again, surprising her with his gentleness. It soothed the stinging in her nipples and aroused her further. She panted, needing to catch up for the breath she had forgotten to take before. He smiled. “Not just pain, though.”

  “No. Not only pain.”

  “You’ve found something new you like, but not something you need.”

  She wasn’t sure. She hadn’t figured it out yet, but he said it with such confidence she nodded, while staring into his eyes.

  She wasn’t ready for what happened next. Suddenly his lips were pressing against hers and she yielded automatically. Any attempt to regain the balance in her breath was lost as his tongue plundered her mouth. She was struck by the fact it was the least kinky thing he’d done to her and far more normal to do in public and yet it was more intimate and more intense as well. She kissed him back, fiercely, wanting the moment to go on as long as possible.

  He moved one hand from her breasts to the back of her head and held her there. She wasn’t sure how long she could breathe through her nose, but she could happily pass out kissing him and expect to wake up with a smile on her face. She pressed up against him and in the process brought her crotch up against him. His cock was hard. She couldn’t resist grinding her pussy against it.

  He gripped her hair and pulled her back suddenly, leaving her gasping for air. For the first time he didn’t look calm, although he spoke evenly enough. “Stand up and get your panties off.”

  “I’ll ruin your pants if I do that with my panties off.”

  He flicked her nipple hard. Whether it was harder than the previous times, or merely more unexpected, she didn’t know. “Obey, pet.”

  She got up off his lap and stood in front of him. That seemed to be the way it worked here. He was supposed to dominate, she submit. And she wanted that, but some imp in her, combined with years of being in charge, made her want to resist. “And if I don’t want to?”

  He smiled. “But you do.”

  How can he be so sure? Is he bluffing? Arrogant? Or does he see something in my eyes? She remembered her safe word. That was what it came down to. Karl and Garrett might both be Doms, but they were very different in what they wanted.

  She hooked her fingers in her panties and eased them slowly down.

  “What gets me off the most is the exchange of po
wer between us. Your submission. Not pain, not restraining you, but you letting me.”

  “I thought what got men off was friction.” Meg straddled him again. If he didn’t mind a stain on his pants, it didn’t bother her and besides, she needed to demonstrate.

  “If that was what I wanted, I’ve got a perfectly good hand.” As if to show her what he meant, he grabbed her hair in his fist again and moved her head so she was looking at him. She realized she had broken eye contact. “Is that enough for you? A hand or a vibrator? Or do you want more?”

  She’d settled far too many times because dealing with a man had been too complicated or too aggravating. Garrett could be complicated and aggravating too, she suspected, but he might be worth it. “It’s not enough,” she confessed. “But sometimes it has to be.”

  “Stay right there,” he told her. As if she had a choice with him holding her hair like that. With his right hand he opened his bag a few inches. She was curious what was inside, but she couldn’t see. He brought out a coil of purple rope.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Give you something to wear.” He pulled the rope loose. Holding what looked to be the center, he wrapped it, doubled up, behind her back and then brought it forward. “Arms up, unless you want those bound as well.”

  It was tempting. But no, she wanted her hands free. She felt vulnerable enough being naked there, with him completely dressed and God knows what in his bag. She lifted her arms, which made her stretch and feel even more exposed. Does he know it has that effect? Probably. She wondered what the point of the rope was, if it wasn’t going to restrain her.

  He wrapped it below her breasts and then snuggly again over them and once more under. Then he passed it over her shoulder from the back, hooked the bottom ropes with it and tugged.

  “Oh!” Her breasts were squeezed above and below by the rope, almost like an underwire bra but more so and yet because each pass had been double thick and there were now four strands below in all, it was comfortable, even supportive. He ran the rope over her shoulder and tied it in the back. She didn’t know what exactly he’d done to keep the whole thing taut the whole time, but his knot work was all behind her and he’d done it all without looking. He knows what he’s doing.