DoubleBind

by Sindra vin Yssel

  “Yes, Sir.” What does he have in mind?

  “Have you ever had anyone in your ass before?”

  Uh-oh. Him and Karl both. “No, Sir.”

  “Any thing?”

  She remembered Saturday night. “Just a finger. Not very far.”

  “And did you like it?”

  Her voice dropped to a whisper and she looked down at the pillow. “Yes.”

  “Sorry?” He tilted her head up and held her chin so she had to look at him.

  “Yes, Sir,” she said, more loudly, still avoiding his gaze.

  “Then get up and lean over that table over there.” He pointed to his dining room, where there was a rectangular table made of cherry wood. A dark blue table cloth covered the top.

  “Yes, Sir.” She walked over, not sure if she wanted to. Another new experience, she tried to tell herself.

  “At the short end, your back toward the living room, please,” he said. To her surprise, he didn’t follow her but went out of sight further into the house.

  She bent over as directed, conscious of the breeze and how exposed it made her. He probably wanted that. She leaned further, letting the table support her weight. She was tall enough that she could spread her legs and give him an even better show. She tried it and then brought them close again. Being that vulnerable was scary, especially without him there to guide her.

  He returned with rope, lube, some latex gloves and a metal toy that looked like a vibrator, but shorter, narrower on one end and then getting broader, with a flanged base. It wasn’t as wide as her vibe, she didn’t think. It had a shiny jewel on the base.

  “Are you okay being tied up?”

  “What if I said no?” She looked over her shoulder at him.

  “If you said no, Sir, I’d be disappointed, but I’d understand. I know you can trust me, but you don’t know that. If you simply said no, I’d wait for you to give me a better answer.”

  She remembered what Karl had told her. “Will you make sure it doesn’t hurt, Sir?” If Karl didn’t think something should be painful, clearly it was important.

  “I will make sure it doesn’t hurt. In fact, if it starts to feel too much, I want you to say yellow immediately. Some tops don’t like having a caution word because they feel it gives the sub too much control over the scene, but we need one here.”

  “Then you can tie me up.” She trusted him some. Jannah’s approval took her the rest of the way.

  She stayed still while he pulled her hands in front of her with blue rope, so they stretched past her head. He bound them so they were two inches apart and then had two long strands of rope left. These he stretched over the table and tied to the two far table legs. “Comfy?”

  “Um. Reasonably, yes.” Her wrists felt fine. She thought she felt pretty good for being stretched naked over a table.

  “Good.” He grabbed two shorter lengths of rope and tossed them at the floor near her feet. She expected he’d tie them next. Instead, he pulled on a latex glove. She turned to look to see what he was doing behind her.

  He poured lube onto his glove and then pressed a finger against her ass. Her first reaction was to clench up. He waited, his finger slowly warming. As she relaxed, he pushed forward, sliding part of his finger inside. He let her get used to that before he pushed in farther. It felt tight, even with one finger. There’s no way he’s going to get his cock in. She breathed. People do this sort of thing all the time. Slowly, she relaxed.

  Over time, he worked his finger all the way in. Then a second finger. He picked up the metal toy from the table and moved it to where she could see it while only craning back slightly. He held it in his hand, squeezing it even though it didn’t give.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Warming it.”

  “Oh.” Considerate of him, she supposed, given where it was probably going. To confirm her suspicions, he put it down and poured lube onto it before picking it up again. She turned to face forward again.

  His fingers came out. The plug went in. The metal was still cool, but it wasn’t cold and it was extremely smooth. Though much wider than a finger, it went in easily.

  “Good girl, you’ve done very well. How does that feel?”

  “Full,” she said honestly. It was the first thing that came to mind.

  “Yes. It should.” He patted the base of the plug and it sent shivers through her. She wasn’t sure it was sexy. But some part of the plug was pushing against something she could feel deep in her pussy and as she shifted her weight she realized she liked the rubbing. It was making her wet. She looked back to see his reaction, but he was kneeling behind her. She felt rope being wrapped around her ankle. He tied first one, then the other to the table legs, forcing her legs further apart, putting her in almost exactly the position she’d experimented with while he was out of the room.

  Except then, I didn’t have a jeweled piece of metal in my ass. Still, in a way, it covers me. Makes me less exposed.

  He stood and grabbed the condom from the table. She heard the soft rip of the foil wrapper. She looked forward, not wanting to strain her neck any more. With him right behind her, she couldn’t see much anyway. Soon, the plug would come out and his cock would go in, stretching her further.

  But instead, she felt his cock against her labia and then, with a single smooth thrust, he entered her pussy. It was almost enough to make her come right then and there. His grunt let her know he loved the feeling of her around him.

  His cock and the plug seemed to press nerves between them she hadn’t realized existed. He moved slowly, stroking in and out to excite them more.

  “Your heels have put your pussy at the perfect height for me,” Garrett whispered. “But if you’re disappointed, I can change.”

  “Oh no.” It was perfect. She’d never felt anything like it. Her mind drifted. What would it feel like to have two men inside her like that? The men quickly had faces. Garrett and Karl. Oh God. I’m about to come.

  An extra hard thrust set her off. She gritted her teeth, trying to avoid making any noise even though she didn’t remember why that was important. She squeezed around his cock and around the plug. She hadn’t realized how much her ass contracted when she came until the plug, metal and unmovable, was there to resist her. That set a second set of shocks through her, running down her legs where the bonds held her fast and stopped her toes from curling. At least she could grab the ropes holding her wrists to the table legs and pull on them. All the while she could hear him say, “Good girl.”

  She had experienced the last aftershock, when she felt his cock swell inside her. Between his cock and the plug she felt as stuffed as she was satiated. He grunted as he came, his hands gripping her butt hard enough to hurt. It’s kind of nice to feel pain from him. She knew it was unintentional, but still, it was intimately connected to his pleasure.

  His grip loosened and his hands drifted up her sides. For a minute he stayed there, pressed against her. “How are you doing, Meg?” he asked.

  “Like I’ve melted,” she said.

  “That’s good or bad?”

  “It’s wonderful.”

  “Good.” He straightened and pulled out of her. He bent down to untie her legs, touching her thighs and ass anytime he didn’t need two hands. He massaged her ankles when he was done. When he moved up to untie her hands, he did the same, touching her whenever possible. She appreciated it. His touch was warm and gentle.

  He tugged lightly on the plug. “Ready for this to come out, love?”

  “Yes please.”

  He pulled the plug out of her and dropped it in a black plastic bag with the glove and the condom. After putting the bag on one of the seats, out of sight, he pulled her up into his arms.

  “Mmm,” she purred.

  He scooped her up, surprising her. She shrieked.

  “You look exhausted,” he said.

  “I am. Happily so. It’s been a long day at, um, that place. And now this.” She rested her head against his shoulder.

&n
bsp; “Would you like to stay the night? I can take you to my bed.”

  “Oh, so tempting. But I can’t. I need to be up first thing in the morning. I told you weeknights were difficult for me.”

  “The couch, then?”

  She shook her head. “I think it’d better be a taxi.”

  “I can drive you. Unless you don’t want me knowing where you live, which is fine.”

  What the hell. Karl already knows. But then she hesitated. That might be part of the problem. I don’t want them both showing up at the same place. “Let’s go with a taxi.”

  If he was hurt, he didn’t show it, but he carried her back to the couch and sat down with her there. “I’ll call a taxi in a few minutes, but trust me, you’ll feel better if there’s some wind down time. You’ll sleep better, too.”

  She didn’t want to leave right away anyway. She curled up with him. Everything that had been inside her had left a memory. The plug in her ass. His cock in her mouth and pussy. It might not be as intense as the welt from a crop, but it was still very much present.

  “Can I see you next Wednesday?” he asked.

  “Weekends work better. Still no?”

  “I take off the one weekend night a month to go to Iron Butterfly and that’s about all I can afford.”

  She nodded. Maybe it was time she relaxed at work. One day a week of coming in late would not bring Quinn Cosmetics to a halt. She’d needed more of a life for a while.

  Not that I expected it to come in the form of two Doms.

  Still, if Karl liked weekends and Garrett liked weeknights, at least there wouldn’t be any conflicts. “Sure. Let’s do that.”

  He opened his cell phone and called for a taxi and she enjoyed cuddling with him for a minute before they went outside together to wait for it.

  Chapter Six

  “So what’s the problem?” asked Jannah two months and several dates with both men later. “Sounds like you’re having a wonderful time.” They were seated at Hot Java, Meg’s favorite coffee house. Jannah had a hot chocolate in front of her and Meg was enjoying a cappuccino.

  Meg’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you’d be telling me to ditch Karl and stick with Garrett at this point.”

  Jannah shook her head. “I only warned you off Karl because you’d never played before and I thought he’d push you too hard, too fast and I think he’s better at getting girls to that high than he is at helping them back down. But I should have known that once Meg Quinn decides to do something, no one can keep up with her. Karl’s a good man.”

  “It’s actually worked out rather well. Karl is only free on weekends. Garrett wants me in the middle of the week. Although this last week, the marks Karl put on me…” she drifted off, thinking about it. There had been bruises on her ass and her breasts. If she’d seen anyone marked like that a few months ago, she’d have thought they were the victims of abuse. But she’d loved every minute of getting them, even if she had been cursing Karl’s name. The sex afterward was scorching hot. And she’d enjoyed feeling the marks every time she’d sat down, or pressed up against something, for the next several days.

  “Hmm?” prompted Jannah.

  “Well, the bruises were still there when Garrett was supposed to see me and I almost cancelled on him. I’m sure he noticed them, but he didn’t say anything.”

  “It’s not like it’s a secret from either of them, right? Garrett knows you’re seeing Karl. Karl knows you’re seeing Garrett. You’re poly, they are poly, it’s all good. Relax.”

  “I’m not sure I’m built to be polyamorous,” said Meg.

  “You seem to be doing it pretty well.”

  “At some point, I’d like a man just for me. And I know they are probably seeing other women, but I don’t want to know.” She paused. Jannah knew them pretty well. “But are they?”

  “I don’t know. I expect if you asked, you’d get an honest answer.”

  “Exactly why I haven’t asked. Isn’t that hypocritical of me?”

  Jannah nodded. “A little bit. But sometimes you feel what you feel. I don’t have any advice to give you there. But I will say this. In my experience, balancing more than one love in your life works best when they provide you with something different and everyone knows it. A bisexual woman with a male and female lover. A devoted wife whose husband is vanilla but lets her play to scratch her BDSM itch. A switch who has a lover she tops and one she submits to. Everyone is filling a different need. Does that describe what you have?”

  “Oh yeah. Garrett is so tender and caring, but he’s strict in his own way. He makes me feel special and I feel like my submission to him is incredibly deep. He gets me into this awesome headspace where I don’t even need sex to make it all feel good and yet there’s plenty of sex. I wish his schedule worked better with mine, but at least it doesn’t conflict with Karl.”

  “Okay. And Karl?”

  “Karl is so intense. He gets me so hyped up on the pain I enter this floating place he calls sub-space—”

  “Everyone else calls it that, too,” said Jannah drily. “You’re still a newbie in some ways. Even if you can take what Karl likes to dish out.”

  “Anyway, it’s like nothing else. I never get there with Garrett because he’s not into pain. It’s very different. I’m not always sure it’s healthy, but it feels so good and the next day I’m very productive and motivated, so it seems to be good for me.”

  Jannah shrugged. “I’m trying to commiserate with you, girl, but I’ve yet to see the issue. Embrace it. Nothing lasts forever anyway.”

  “Don’t be so cynical. Of course some things last forever, or as long as we both shall live, anyway. And I’d like that for myself, at least someday.”

  “With which man?”

  Meg shook her head. “I have no idea. And this Friday, they have both invited me to come to Iron Butterfly with them. I told both of them I’d go, but I’d get myself there. I shouldn’t have, I know, but I did.”

  “And they both think they’ll have you all to themselves?”

  “I didn’t say so, of course, but what else would they think?”

  “They might want to play with someone else, too, you know.”

  Meg’s stomach flipped and not in a good way. “I don’t want to watch that.”

  Jannah grinned. “Sounds like you’ll be otherwise occupied.”

  “It’s going to cause a scene.”

  “Not unless you’re the one throwing a fit. Can you imagine either of them screaming and carrying on? I can’t promise you they’ll like it, but they’ll cope.”

  “And maybe not want to see me ever again. I should make a choice and stick with it. If I let them choose for me, or fate, I might lose them both.”

  “There are plenty of fish in the sea. Although I admit you’ve snagged yourself two very delectable fish. I’m sure the local submissive population would appreciate you freeing one of them up.” Jannah laughed. “But that’s not your problem.”

  “And as you pointed out, they may feel pretty free.”

  “Maybe. I think you need to ask them. The people who manage to make having more than one relationship at a time work communicate and if there’s something they choose not to talk about, it’s by mutual agreement, not because one of them is afraid to bring it up.” Jannah looked at Meg pointedly.

  Meg frowned. She didn’t much care for being called afraid. Hadn’t she been brave to start up with Karl and Garrett in the first place? Especially Karl. She remembered how it happened and it was by Jannah suggesting Karl was possibly too hardcore and too scary for her. Her eyes narrowed. “Jannah, when you called Karl a black diamond, were you trying to manipulate me?”

  She could have sworn Jannah blushed. “Would I do a thing like that?” she asked.

  “Yes,” said Meg, with conviction.

  Jannah took a sip of her hot chocolate, then pushed it aside. “There are tops out there who have no idea what to do with someone new. They don’t listen. They don’t look for subtle clues. They have one thi
ng they like doing and they do it well, technically, but they do that thing because it arouses them. If they find someone who likes the same thing, they can have a good time. They, I suppose, are the people beginners ought to avoid, but I wouldn’t call them black diamonds either, because I don’t think they are the ones to work up to. They are there and it’s hit or miss. Karl? He’s a sadist. And if I’d said that, you would have never spoken to him, would you? He would have been a monster rather than a challenge.”

  Just because Jannah was right didn’t mean Meg was ready to appreciate it yet. “And Garrett? If you were trying to get me to try Karl, then why did you try to hook me up with him?” Meg smirked. “Not that you were needed. I make my own way, usually.”

  “Yes, you do. I wasn’t, especially. I figured if you didn’t end up liking Karl, Garrett would represent a different approach. I didn’t think you’d end up liking both.” Jannah smiled. “Greedy bitch,” she added, affectionately.

  “You know it.” While she grinned back, she felt there was some truth to it, too. If she hadn’t been greedy, she’d have talked to both of them about a lot of things. She didn’t want to know if they were seeing anyone else because she was protecting her heart with ignorance. She didn’t want to know how they felt about her seeing the other because a part of her wanted both of them to be possessive and that wouldn’t work at all. Not until she was willing to pick one. Which will have to be soon.

  She took a sip of her coffee and then another. Even trying to figure out which one to call and talk to about it first wasn’t easy. “I’ll email them both and let them know I’ve also agreed to play with the other.”

  “Email. Very brave,” Jannah observed, with a smile. She’d been quiet while Meg was thinking.

  Meg appreciated that, but not enough to let the remark slide. “Email. Very fair. You don’t always get to manipulate me and I think you’d better get out of the habit.”

  Jannah laughed. “You know, for a sub, you’re very uppity.”

  “I’m not your sub,” Meg said, pointedly. “I’m not even sure I’m a sub.” She giggled. “I happen to find men who know what they are doing and like to tell me what to do very attractive.”