North Pole Reform School

by Admans, Jaimie

  We file outside and follow Tinsel and Navi to the building they warned us away from on our first day. Luke takes my hand as we trudge through the snow. I trip over the toe of my boot, as usual. Seems that being an integral part of Christmas doesn’t make elf boots any easier to walk in.

  “Better get used to this, Mrs Claus,” Luke says.

  I squeeze his hand.

  Maybe Christmas isn’t that bad after all.

  CHAPTER 25

  Chaos. Chaos is the word to describe the next twenty-four hours. There are meetings, lectures, and elves telling us how everything works and expecting us to remember it all. The first time Luke and I get a moment to breathe is as darkness falls on Christmas Eve night while the sleigh is loaded up and the reindeer are galloping down the runway. The only thing we’ve done that isn’t related to “how to fly around the world in a sleigh on Christmas Eve” is have Jingle write a letter to Emily, offering her a job in the post office department, and listen to an elf choir singing “Happy Birthday” to me at breakfast this morning. Tinsel and Navidad even got me a birthday present—a pair of proper snow boots. They don’t even have any bells on them.

  “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a jar of pickles,” Navi shouts after us.

  “Don’t fly too low!” Tinsel calls. “If you see any zombies, don’t try to scare them off!”

  Yeah. That’s one mistake we won’t be making.

  “Jesus,” Luke mutters, falling back against the seat as the sleigh rises into the air. “I’m knackered and we haven’t even started yet.”

  “Yeah, but at least we have hot chocolate on tap. The elves really do think of everything,” I say, nodding towards the hot chocolate dispenser on the dashboard.

  “Sod hot chocolate, I need proper caffeine, stat.”

  Thankfully the sleigh is a simple thing to drive. Anyone who has ever played Mario Kart could manage it. Once outside the dome, it’s controlled remotely by an elf team back at sleigh headquarters who direct us to each house using a form of satnav system. There’s a whole team dedicated solely to this. Apparently they spend all year building maps just for this night.

  “Luke, the glass!” I grab his arm as the glass top of the dome shimmers in front of us. It’s too late to be scared we’re going to hit it. The reindeer pull us straight through like it isn’t even there.

  “It’s magic,” Navi says from the radio. “Only people on flying reindeer can pass through.”

  We have a constant radio line to Tinsel and Navidad, who are back at Santa Headquarters. A team of elves are preparing the building, removing all traces of the previous Santa, ready for our return. Santa Headquarters is our new home now. I imagine it’s much the same as they do at the White House or 10 Downing Street when a new president or prime minister is voted in.

  The reindeer pick up speed as we fly higher in the sky. Now that they’re unrestricted by a dome, they seem to be enjoying their freedom.

  “Pretty good for a bunch of horses with prongs on their heads,” Luke says.

  I give his arm a whack. “Shut up. I’m only here to look after them, so quit being insulting, Santa.”

  He laughs. “Weird, isn’t it?”

  “What part? The flying reindeer? The sleigh? Being Santa? The North Pole, with added zombies? A thousand elves going from hating your guts to hailing you as the saviour of Christmas?”

  “Finding my grandfather who died nine years ago ranks pretty much at the top of that list.”

  This is the first time Luke has mentioned his meeting with Elf Ian. Although it’s also the first moment we’ve been alone since yesterday morning.

  “Er, yeah. How did that go?”

  He shrugs. “You can probably imagine. ‘Hello, dear boy. My, how you’ve grown!’ and ‘Hello, Granddad. You look pretty good for a guy who’s been dead for nine years.’ It was surreal. Almost as surreal as watching Santa rip the leg off a reindeer and eat it.”

  “Yeah. Well, they did want to teach us the hidden parts of Christmas.”

  He laughs. “I never imagined zombies and a flesh-eating Santa to be a part of Christmas.”

  “I think it’s safe to say this has been a highly unusual Christmas.”

  “Coming into Australia.” Navidad’s tinny voice comes across the radio. “You’ve just crossed the border. First landing will occur in approximately three minutes. Don’t forget, whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

  “Wait… did that actually make sense?”

  “I think it did.”

  Luke looks at me as the sleigh starts to tilt downwards. “Do you really think we can do this?”

  “Of course we can. We— Whoa!” We’re thrown backwards as the reindeer descend rapidly and then thrown forwards as they come to an abrupt stop on a roof.

  “Well, that was fun. Let’s be sure to do that again, guys.” Luke straightens his hat as he gets up.

  “First delivery, Santa,” I say.

  “Don’t call me that, Mrs Claus. It’s too weird.”

  I check the list and dig the corresponding present from the sack—the presents are helpfully layered by country, so not that hard to find. Although admittedly I was hoping the sack would magically pop out the correct present without me even trying.

  Luke takes it and looks nervously at the chimney.

  “Go on,” I tell him. “You’ll be fine. And don’t forget to eat the milk and cookies.”

  One thing we’ve learnt is that all the pictures you see of Santa in a chimney with a sack of presents are a complete myth. You can’t take a full sack of presents down a chimney. Once we’ve picked the individual presents from the sack in the sleigh, Luke takes them and jumps into the chimneys. If he gets stuck, I have to put in a call to the chimney-related emergency team, and they come out with a giant plunger. Getting stuck in chimneys is more common than you might think.

  It’s only a few minutes later that Luke returns, smiling widely. “That was easy. I just slid right down and popped the present under the tree. And they left the most delicious cookies out for me. Here, I brought you one. Ginger and pecan. Lovely. I hope all the houses are like this.”

  I laugh.

  “Funnily enough, they left a red pepper out for the reindeer.” He pulls it from his pocket. “I didn’t know reindeer liked bell peppers.”

  The reindeer stamp their hooves in excitement, so I take the pepper over and share it between them.

  “Who’d have thought Australians know more about reindeer than we do?”

  The reindeer are perked up from the pepper as they take off for the next house.

  It’s amazing up here. Christmas lights twinkle from every angle. The sky is clear and the stars are shining, and after a few landing hiccups, the reindeer fly like they’ve been doing it all their lives.

  After many, many, more deliveries, we come to a name I recognise.

  “This is that boy’s house,” I mutter. “Milo, the one I read about on the naughty and nice list.”

  Luke already has the boy’s present in his hand.

  “Wait.” I grab a pen and climb out onto the roof. “I want to give him an extra present. To make up for last year.”

  “I don’t think they want us to do that.”

  “You’re Santa, Luke. You’re the boss now. It’s your call.”

  He shrugs. “Go for it.”

  I take a present from the spare present sack—see, those elves really do think of everything—and scrawl, “We care. Don’t give up.” across the gift tag and hand it to Luke.

  He reads it and smiles. “We could really do some good here.”

  I nod.

  “Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing after all.”

  He’s right.

  The North Pole Reform School has undoubtedly done its job on me. I never considered that Christmas was important to people. I never considered how much it mattered. I thought it was nothing more than an excuse to overindulge and be surrounded by annoying relatives whom you don’t want to b
e surrounded by.

  Tomorrow I’ll get to go home and spend Christmas with my parents and my sister. Tinsel has given me permission to tell my parents what I am doing. I know they will be proud. It might not be how I pictured myself spending Christmas Eve, but this is certainly the best Christmas I’ve ever had. And if you had told me that I’d feel this way three weeks ago, I never would have believed you.

  For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m doing something good. I feel like I’m doing something that matters.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Luke says when he comes back from delivering Milo’s presents. “Maybe I’ll tell Tinsel and Navi to hold off on finding a replacement Santa. What do you think?”

  I smile at him. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I think stealing tacky Christmas decorations was a pretty good one. It got me here, didn’t it?”

  I laugh. “You’re turning into an old sap, Mr Claus.”

  “At least the elves were helpful enough to pack some mistletoe.” He pulls a sprig from under his seat and waves it above my head. I blush as he leans over and kisses me.

  “Merry Christmas, Mis,” he says.

  “Merry Christmas, Luke.”

  The reindeer take off again, throwing us against each other in the back of the sleigh. The night isn’t over. It won’t be over for hours yet, but I don’t mind. Christmas Eve is one of the best nights of the year, after all.

  .xxx. The End .xxx.

  Also by Jaimie Admans:

  Afterlife Academy

  Even being dead isn’t enough to get you out of maths class.

  Dying wasn't on sixteen-year-old Riley Richardson's to-do list. And now, not only is she dead, but she's stuck in a perpetual high school nightmare. Worse still, she's stuck there with the geekiest, most annoying boy in the history of the world, ever.

  In a school where the geeks are popular and just about everything is wrong, Riley has become an outcast. She begins a desperate quest to get back home, but her once-perfect life starts to unravel into something not nearly as great as she thought it was. And maybe death isn’t really that bad after all...

  Welcome to Afterlife Academy, where horns are the norm, the microwave is more intelligent than the teachers, and the pumpkins have a taste for blood.

  - - -

  Afterlife Academy is a Young Adult paranormal romantic comedy, suitable for approximately ages 14 and up.

  Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk

  Not Pretty Enough

  “New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Lloyd Layton will know I exist. He once said three whole words to me, so this is obviously progress. If I don’t get a proper conversation out of him soon, then I’ll take my top off and streak through the cafeteria, because nobody could fail to notice these boobs.

  2. I will not get expelled for streaking through the cafeteria.”

  Those are the words that begin her mission.

  Chessie is fourteen, not pretty enough, and very much in love. Lloyd Layton is hot, popular, and unaware of Chessie’s existence.

  Her goal is clear: to get Lloyd to love her as much as she loves him, and she has exactly one year to do it.

  As Chessie’s obsession with Lloyd reaches boiling point and she starts to spin a web of lies that spiral out of control, Lloyd turns out to be not quite the prince she thought he was. Can Chessie avoid the gathering storm before things go too far?

  -- -- -- -- --

  Not Pretty Enough is a contemporary young adult comedy suitable for ages thirteen and over.

  Book two in the series will be released early 2014.

  Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk

  Kismetology

  Finding the perfect man isn't easy. Especially when it's for your mother...

  Mothers. Can't live with them, can't live without them, can't live three doors down the road without them interfering in every aspect of your life.

  Mackenzie Atkinson's mother has meddled in her love life once too often and something has to be done. Mackenzie decides to turn the tables and find love for her lonely mother.

  Her lonely and very fussy mother.

  Surely finding an older gentleman looking for love won't be that hard, right?

  Wrong.

  If you've ever thought that boys grow up, here's the problem: They don't. Ever.

  And Mackenzie is about to learn that the hard way.

  Faced with a useless boyfriend, dressed up dogs, men who wear welly boots on dates, men who shouldn't be allowed out in public, and men who make reptiles seem like attractive company - will she ever find the perfect man for her neurotic mother?

  Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk

  Creepy Christmas

  Strange things are occurring in the neighbourhood. A mysterious snowfall, one Santa too many, and eyes of coal that watch you wherever you go.

  Ten-year-old Kaity is busy trying to get rid of her mum's creepy new boyfriend and reunite her divorced parents, but her curiosity gets the better of her when she meets the new mall Santa and his enchanting daughter Blizzard. Can Kaity help them save Christmas from being destroyed by Anti-Claus - a pretend Santa who is a permanent member of the naughty list?

  It's Christmas in the village of Chelferry, but this year the snowmen can move, the fairy won't stay on top of the Christmas tree, and if you listen closely to the musical Christmas cards, you can hear the faint sound of screaming over the Jingle Bells...

  - - -

  Creepy Christmas is a 50,000 word (approx 200 pages) novel suitable for ages 8 and upwards.

  A fun, festive, family read! And it’s free!

  Find it now on: Amazon.com || Amazon.co.uk

  About the author:

  Jaimie is a 28-year-old English-sounding Welsh girl with an awkward-to-spell name. She lives in South Wales and enjoys writing, gardening, drinking tea and watching horror movies. She hates spiders and cheese & onion crisps.

  She has been writing for years but has never before plucked up the courage to tell people.

  She is the author of chick-lit romantic comedy Kismetology and YA romantic comedies Afterlife Academy and Not Pretty Enough. North Pole Reform School is her fifth novel and she hopes you enjoyed it. There are plenty more on the way!

  Website: http://www.jaimieadmans.com

  Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/be_the_spark

  Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jaimieadmansbooks

  Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/jaimieadmans

  Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/notprettyenough

  Please drop by and say hello!

  If you’ve enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review on Amazon – thank you!

  To be notified of new releases and promotions, please sign up for the Books Newsletter!

  Thank you for reading!