Cascades (Wine of the Gods Book 24)

by Pam Uphoff

  Q? Well, probably not the Oldham Q . . . unless whoever made these things really hated her.

  "Must be some potion to make a person fat and stupid. Don't drink any more. Try something else." She surveyed the shelves. "Looks good. Now you gotta remember t'warn people about these potions. About how sometimes they do bad things. They can take a risk if they want. But no tricking people."

  She spotted an ugly hex bottle, and pull it out of the box. Dug around, but it looked like the last one. Apart from all the ones everyone grabbed to sell all over the place. And the jug's gone missing. She thumped the ugly little jar down on the table. "And don't sell any more of these."

  She stepped out on the porch and frowned across the road. There was a woman wrapped around Uncle Jek's water well, pumping the handle and drinking straight out of the spigot. Water was splashing everywhere, mostly all over the woman. She was soaked.

  Ericka walked over, her mother following.

  "Who the heck are you?"

  The stranger stopped pumping, but kept leaning on the pipe.

  Her mum elbowed her aside. "Huh. Just in from t'desert. Looks like ya nearly died."

  The woman nodded. She looked exhausted.

  Ericka eyed her, shrugged. "I'm brewing some tea. C'mon in." She stuck out a hand to help the woman up.

  The woman took it, and stood. She wavered for a moment, then stood firmly.

  Ericka headed back to the house. "I expect you could use some food, too."

  "Maybe she needs a potion?" Her mum grinned, and pulled out the Q bottle.

  Erica snatched it. "No. Not that one. And I doubt she can pay for it anyway."

  The woman spoke for the first time. "I have money. I need to buy a horse."

  "We've only got t'one, and he's not for sale."

  "And hair dye. I need to dye my hair."

  Ericka eyed the woman's filthy wet mess. Pale blonde.

  What's she running from? A husband or the law?

  "Oh sure, we got lots of hair stuff. C'mon in honey." Her mother jiggled her fat inside and the woman followed. And stopped dead. Ericka snickered. Bit of a shock, isn't it?

  The front room of the house was stacked with cheap trinkets. And now there were bottles everywhere. The woman picked up a bottle at random. "Lady Basti? What does it do?"

  "Well, you see, that's the problem. Nobody knows. You just drink and take your chances. It's not really a good idea. But Duchess Fanci . . . looks like there's one dose left. It'll give you black hair, if you're interested." Ericka set it on the table and headed for the kitchen.

  The kettle was steaming. She grabbed the teapot. Tossed in some leaves. Sliced the last of the bread, and a bit of cheese. Poured in the steaming water and took it all out to the front.

  Her mother had the woman sitting at the rickety table.

  "My grandkids made me these." Susto pulled three cups from amongst the piled shelves, poured. "They make lots o'things, sometimes I even manage t'sell them."

  The woman picked up a crude clay cup. Sipped the hot strong tea. Picked up the Duchess Fanci bottle.

  Ericka caught a faint wail, and hustled out to the back porch. The baby was just waking up. Hungry, and phew! definitely needed to be changed. And a bath. But in mid summer, the little trickle of water out back was nice and warm.

  By the time she got back with a clean, well fed baby, the pale woman was gone.

  "Ha! Held her up for three royals, for one bottle." Her mother's smug look was fading as she searched her tight clothes. "Would have sworn I stuck it right in this pocket. Must of dropped it."

  Ericka shook her head. "You didn't drop anything. She tricked you. You better try some of these potions, see if one of them will smarten you up." She scooped up the cups to wash them . . .

  Looked from the milky dregs in the strange woman's cup to the hex jar sitting on the table. And started grinning. "She put t' hex in her tea?"

  "Huh, she must of done it when I stepped into t'kitchen for a minute She stole that too!"

  "Well, maybe she deserves what's going to happen to her. You didn't try any, did you, Aunt Susto?"

  "Nah, I seen wot that stuff does t'girls. Their hair falls out and they turn into men. It's disgusting."

  Out Take Two:

  God of Thieves

  "Hey, Aunt Susto!" Kevi jumped down from Speed's high back. "I got some junk from my uncle. Want to take a look?" It was somewhere in between drizzle and rain, and chilly here. corridor travel was odd that way.

  He pulled the saddle and bridle off Speed, and suggested that she get out of the rain in the barn. She snorted at him and started cropping the long grass of Aunt Susto's front 'lawn'. He left the tack on the porch and pulled the bag of goodies out of his saddle bags and walked in.

  He'd figured out quickly that he'd probably be walking away with nothing but a couple of good meals whenever he dealt with this particular fence. But as a way to get rid of the pretty much valueless leftovers of a marvelously clever theft, she couldn't be beat.

  And robbing the Organtes' huge, guarded, armored vaults had been a blast.

  And Xen hadn't cared what else he stole, so long as they got the gold back.

  The Laughlier Mining people had given him some fishy looks, but then they'd given him a sizable reward for his part in returning their gold. And the Army was trying to figure out who owned the rest, and whether they were still alive. At least they'd taken it off his hands. He wouldn't have known what to do with four heavy sagging wagon loads of stamped and numbered gold bars. He and Speed had trotted happily away, with the soldiers blissfully ignorant of how much other stuff he had in his magic saddlebags.

  Sandy had bought all the amethysts. Then Jani had taken everything that was either artistic, or had stones she could use in her own creations. Aunt Susto got the twelve carat gold ugly things with common stones like the hideous cat's eye necklace he pulled out first.

  A couple of pretty goblets that were just gold plate over brass, candlesticks, same. Some neat glass thingies that Jani had said were interesting, but she'd as soon make herself. Aunt Susto quoted him prices and he nodded, and then while she tended to her customers—a couple of scrawny girls looking for acne cures and big breasts—he grabbed his tack and headed over to the house across the . . . well, it wasn't really a road, more of a rough track. The four houses were known hereabouts as the quarter farms collectively, and westerly, easterly, northerly and southerly individually.

  Elma of easterly farm was delighted to see him, and told him to put his saddle on the back porch and come have some pie. "The rain's getting worse."

  "You just can't beat a hideout like this," he muttered to himself, hunting in the saddle bag for the cork to his wine bottle. Most of it was gone, it had probably soaked his clean clothes. Ah well, it wasn't like he dressed up like a noble.

  He helped Jek with the pruning, and spent a couple of nights teaching the boys—the four great nephews that helped Jek—their letters. "Too bad there isn't a school out here. You gotta be able to read a little just to get around."

  Lizard nodded. "I got lost in Karista. Luckily I found Mortimer. He can read, and knows his way around." He sighed wistfully. "Captain Easterly of the King's Own. He is so cool."

  Kevi froze. He'd been thinking the cousin must be a private, coming from these backwoods farms. But . . . Captain Easterly? Xen's Boss? "Yeah. I think I've seen him. Great big guy, mousey hair and blue eyes like all of you. Looks dumb, but is really smart?"

  Lizard looked gratified. "Is he famous?"

  "Umm, not quite, but he is well known." Kevi gulped. Maybe this isn't the safest hideout in the World, after all. Well, very very safe from everyone except Captain Easterly.

  The fourth day, he rode Speed back down the track, an unseasonably cold wind in their faces. "You know what? We should spend the winter somewhere warm. Let's check out Baytown."

  She nodded, and radiated smugness. Smug? Oh, crap. Did Beastly get into . . . "You got into the wine, didn't you? Well, fat chance a foal wi
ll slow you down much."

  Out Take Three:

  Grantown Hex

  Easterly had been surprised by all the changes in Grantown. The best being that he didn't recognize a single prostitute. His girl cousins probably hadn't grown up enough to stop taking the easy money that held them down, but perhaps they gotten old enough they couldn't, any more.

  Whatever worked . . . There was a row of big houses silhouetted on the ridge. People couldn't afford big houses in the city, anymore, and those looked like they were on at least five acres each. A nice big one still under construction was facing the road from ten feet up and forty feet back from the road. A young woman with a baby was looking at the front of it, and turned to look at him, waved. "Mortimer, come look at my house!"

  Who did she remind him of . . . "Ericka?" Oops! Big fox paw, as Xen said, when he wanted Deena to thump him. This woman was much too young . . .

  She giggled. "I guess you missed all t'fun. We got some magic potions, and . . ." She fluffed her thick curly golden mane.

  "Magic potions?" His stomach sank. "Umm, some of them might be bad, you shouldn't fool with things you don't understand."

  "Oh poo. Tyrone's hair grew back, and I think Haro's enjoying t'attention his, umm mix up caused."

  Easterly choked. "Do you remember last summer, t'Army did a sweep through here? Did you give any of them anything?"

  She sniffed. "Tyrone did. You know what he's like. If it's anything of ours, he takes it. And he got all buddy-buddy with t'officer. I suppose his hair fell out and came in all funny too?"

  "Yeah." Easterly said weakly. Gee, I can finally kill Tyrone. He noticed the wall he was leaning on. Stone. All one piece. "Oldham Engineering?"

  "Yep. They did their part for free, because of all t'business I brought them."

  "You brought them?"

  "Oh, I guess you didn't know." She smirked. "I bought this half of t'Hassoon farm, and then I sold all those lots up there. I'm rich."

  "Congratulations." he croaked. Looked at the baby. "And congratulations. You married?" To a businessman with no sense of self preservation?

  "Of course not." She sniffed. "Why don't you go on to t'farms. And brace yourself for a shock."

  How much worse can it get? Easterly forced a smile. "See you later." He mounted Blue Belle and rode the last five miles.

  His mother looked great, just a touch of purple in her grey hair, energetic and cooking like always. Dad looked healthy, too.

  He recognized everyone else by dint of ignoring their hair color and dredging up childhood memories. Except the buxom blonde beauty who jiggled by, until his Mom hustled in with another piece of pie. "Aren't you staying, Haro?"

  Easterly managed to not choke on his own pie and eyed his cousin. "I have a friend who can fix that."

  Haro snickered. "Do you have any idea how much I make in tips alone dancing in t'Big Bad Wolf Club?"

  Easterly cleared his throat, swallowed, checked his breathing. Shrugged. "If you ever get tired of it."

  Kathi – with just as much bosom – jiggled in, an infant in her arms. She looked taller, with luscious black hair.

  "So, you all shared that jug around and changed?"

  "Certainly not!" This girl was really young, pale blonde . . .

  "Melodi?"

  "Who else? We tested each one, so Ericka knew what she was selling."

  "Tested them on yourselves?" His eyes slid toward his parents. Wait a minute. "What do you mean, each one? How many did you have?"

  "Hundreds." Haro giggled. "Ericka shared them with us, we got to keep t'money so long as we did t'selling. I took tons of them to Havwee and Farofo. T'fun clubs, you know?"

  Easterly whimpered. "And I suppose I don't want to know what happened to Beastly either."

  Dad sat up beaming. "Lizard, Mouse, Crow and Skunk have been taking him all over. He's won all sorts of prizes in pulling contests and they're charging a ten royal stud fee. I'm so proud of them."

  Easterly nodded numbly. Smart horse genes everywhere.

  "Well. What an interesting year you've all had," was about all he could manage. And when I get Ericka alone, she's going to tell me exactly what she gave Mom and Dad. They look all right, so probably no harm done. Discreet inquiries elsewhere to find and fix problems. What worse could happen?

  The door slammed shut behind Tyrone. Calico hair, glowing like a god. The power genes.

  "So, that mess in t'jug. What was it? How many people got that?"

  "Oh, Aunt Susto just dumped t'little bottles in there before she washed them and sold them." Melodi shrugged.

  The other cousins swapped shrugs around the room. "Ericka made these ugly little bottles and called them hex jars. Sold them for a Royal apiece." Haro said. "Couple hundred or so, I suppose."

  Easterly whimpered.

  ***

  "So, what can we do?"

  Garit was having a great deal of trouble keeping a straight face. Xen had given up trying. He was face down on the table with his shoulders shaking.

  Nil and Dydit were doing fairly good jobs of looking serious.

  "Do we need to do anything?" Garit asked. "Certainly if someone wants the spells reversed, but is there a need to hunt for them? You could leave notices at every town guard station about what to do if a hex is reported—send for Magic Central. Xen, are you the only one there who can reverse this sort of thing?"

  Xen nodded. "In Magic Central. I'm the only one with the right sort of training. Nil, of course. Either of my parents, Q, Lady Gisele that I know of. Probably Ras, Havi and Cor. Don't call on Cor unless you're desperate."

  "Xen!" Easterly looked beaten. "My cousin Tyrone is glowing like a god and he's t'worse scumbag possible."

  "How many people has he killed?"

  "None that I know of. He's a sleaze, not a killer. And he's got no discipline, and he's never worked at anything in his life."

  "Then he won't ever get enough drill to be powerful magically." Xen shrugged. "Go take a look at Cor, when he's been on Comet Fall for a couple of days, if you want to see sleaze."

  "Arg!"

  Garit cleared his throat. "I take his own baldness and caliconess to be prima facie evidence of his ignorance of the dangerous contents of the jug, and instruct you to not take action against him. That was not a deliberate assault on a member of the Royal Family."

  Easterly sighed. "Thank you. I think."

  "Hmm. How to write a notice to all police about hexes and spell potions—without it sounding like a bad joke?" Xen started smiling. "Now there's a challenge."

  Easterly smiled. "That can be your next job, Xen."

  NOTICE TO ALL TOWN GUARDS

  A LARGE NUMBER OF SO-CALLED HEXES AND MAGIC POTIONS HAVE BEEN SOLD RECENTLY. PLEASE REFER COMPLAINTS TO CAPTAIN EASTERLY, INTEL, KARISTA.

  "That is pretty uninformative." Easterly said.

  "It won't make us look like a laughing stock. Trust me, people just don't believe in magic, no matter how many corridors they travel." Xen eyed his note. "Do you want to put something like 'we can remove or modify the spells' in there? They'll think we've cracked."

  "No. As you say, most people don't believe." Easterly picked up the paper in with the tips of his fingers and walked out with it at arm's length. "I'm going to talk to t'boss."

  About the Author

  I was born and raised in California, and have lived more than half my life, now, in Texas.

  Wonderful place. I caught almost the first bachelor I met here, and we’re coming up on our thirty-seventh anniversary.

  My degree's in Geology. After working for an oil company for almost ten years as a geophysicist, I “retired” to raise children. As they grew, I added oil painting, sculpting and throwing clay, breeding horses, volunteering in libraries and for the Boy Scouts, and treasurer for a friend’s political campaign. Sometime in those busy years, I turned a love of science fiction into a part time job reading slush (Mom? Someone is paying you to read??!!)

  I've always written, published a few sh
ort stories. But now that the kids have flown the nest, I'm calling writing a full time job.

  Empire is my twelfth novel. I've also issued three collections of novellas and short stories, and published separately three other short stories.

  I'm planning to bring out at least four more books this year. Two of them are manuscripts that I've pulled out the batch making the rounds of publishers, so they should go up quickly. I've got two new books in the Wine of the Gods Universe under way. And then a third "Zoey Ivers" book in the Doors series. So I may manage to squeak in a fifth book before the end of the year.

  I need to find the time to get more books out in print, out to Kobo, Sony, B&N . . . I need to find the time to invent a time machine . . .

  Email pamuphoff@gmail.com to join the mailing list for notifications of new releases

  Other Books by Pam Uphoff

  Wine of the Gods Series:

  Outcasts and Gods

  Exiles and Gods (Three Novellas)

  The Black Goats

  Explorers

  Spy Wars

  Comet Fall

  A Taste of Wine (Seven Tales)

  Dark Lady

  Growing Up Magic (Four Novellas)

  Young Warriors

  God of Assassins

  Empire of the One

  Warriors of the One

  Dancer

  Earth gate

  Mages at Large

  Art Theft

  Triplets

  Sea Wolves

  Bad Karma

  Dark Side of the Moon

  The Lawyers of Mars

  Fancy Free

  Writing as Zoey Ivers

  YA Cyberpunk Adventures:

  The Barton Street Gym

  Chicago

  Atlantis (2016)

  Fantasy: