Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5)

by Stallings, Staci

  “Yes.” This answer was far sturdier.

  “But it takes some effort, doesn’t it?”

  Caleb nodded.

  “Good. Now what if you turn this much away?” The pastor turned him so that in another few degrees and he would be all the way facing away. “Now can you see me?”

  “Not very easy.”

  “Right.” Finally taking his shoulders, the pastor turned Caleb so that he was facing the congregation. “How about now? Can you see me?”

  Looking out at them, Caleb didn’t even try to turn. “No.”

  “No. You can’t. You can’t see me. But have I moved?”

  The thoughts went like lightning across Caleb’s face. “No.”

  “Well, if you could see me before, why can you not see me now if I haven’t moved?”

  It took a second for the answer to come. “Because I did.”

  Silence echoed across the church as the lesson sank in to every heart.

  “Thank you, Caleb,” the pastor said and he went back to the podium as Caleb resumed his seat. “When we sin, it is not God that moves. We, through our choices, chose to turn away from God. When we see darkness, it is our own shadow we are really seeing. Our sin is the greatest evidence of our imperfections, our humanness, our brokenness. It is the evidence of our deepest need for God. And it is in our weakness and imperfections that we see the depth and beauty of God’s unconditional love for us. If we committed no sin, forgiveness and mercy would not be needed. If we were always completely lovable, there would be no need for unconditional love. It is our imperfections that create the need for a greater-than-selfish love. The love of God.

  “As wonderful as that is on a personal level, the real challenge comes on a social and interpersonal level because while it’s wonderful that God loves us no matter how unlovable we are, it becomes a real challenge to extend that kind of love to those around us. When we are called to love the unlovable, this lesson gets really hard really fast. When we are called to be the channel of God’s love to those around us who are hurting, who have sinned—sometimes against us, forgiveness becomes not a grace-filled word but a nearly impossible-to-grasp concept. I believe that when we begin to extend forgiveness to others who have hurt us, we begin to see in very real terms just how much God must love us, how it is only because He is love that He can give us mercy and grace when judgment and condemnation are what we deserve. And He loves us all the time. When we’re loveable, and when we’re not. When we’re at our best and when we can’t even get up from the floor. When we get it right and when we’ve gotten it so wrong, it feels like nothing will ever be right again. God is… right there loving us through it.”

  He held out his hand toward where he and Caleb had stood. “All we’ve got to do, is turn around.”

  Why life felt so very off-kilter here, Dani couldn’t articulate, but when the service was over, she found herself holding onto the edges of the pews as she followed the others out. Halfway from the back, she glanced to the side and knew her grandmother had seen her. She forced a smile to her lips, knowing how fake it probably looked.

  “Well, my goodness,” her grandmother said as she took another three steps across the aisle toward them. “You’re back so soon.”

  Dani swallowed the words that never really formed in her head. “Yeah, we started on Attabury yesterday.”

  Surprise lit across the old woman’s face. “Really? Well, I’ll be.” She nodded clearly at a loss for more words. Her gaze slipped down to Jaden and held. “Well, look at you. Pretty as a little hummingbird that comes to visit me every spring. That is a beautiful dress.”

  “Tell Grandma, ‘Thank you,’” Dani coached her daughter who had suddenly taken a liking to her leg.

  “Thank you,” the little voice said.

  “Why you’re most welcome, darlin’.” Her grandmother’s eyes came back up to Dani. “You know, if you all are in town for the day…”

  “Oh, we’re really busy with the house and everything,” Dani said, slicing the invitation into shreds before it got going, “and we’re going to have to get back early tonight. Jaden has school tomorrow, and I have work.”

  Her grandmother nodded knowingly and smiled. “Well, maybe next time.”

  It didn’t take long for the group to break up after services. The plan had the guys going back out to the house and Rachel coming out to Derek’s to work on the pieces in the shop. Thankfully the sun had broken through the dense pack of clouds, so it appeared the day would be on the warmer side than yesterday.

  As Dani realized they were leaving, she quickly searched for Jaden who had dislodged from her leg and was playing with the other kids. “Jaden, come on. It’s time to go.” Only when it was out did she realize how harsh it sounded. She swallowed the horror at her own impatience and ratcheted down the jangling of her nerves even while her chin lifted and she got her emotions under martial-law control. “We’re leaving.”

  The joy on her daughter’s face dissolved as she stood and walked away from the little knot of children to take her mother’s hand. Just then Jane stepped up and smiled down at the child. Reaching down, she swiped her hand over the crazy corkscrews of curls. They hadn’t had nearly enough time to get them tamed this morning.

  “You know, Jaden is welcome to come to our house today. I’ll only have Rachel’s two, but she gets along so well with them, I think she will be fine.”

  Dani hesitated and looked down at Jaden whose eyes shone with hope but quickly tamped down into acceptance of her mother’s decision. The thoughts spiraled through her mind. Wasn’t this taking advantage? Shouldn’t she be able to take care of her own child better than this? However, the others were watching and waiting. “I guess it will be okay. But we’ll have to run home and get you changed.”

  “I can bring her back up,” Eric said, “when I go over to Attabury.”

  Helpless and out-numbered, Dani forced a smile. “Okay.”

  Eric ended up at Attabury before the others. He knew Derek was coming and so was Caleb. Luke might come later, but Greg had other things going. When he got out of the SUV, he brought his camera. He wouldn’t be able to capture the whole process, but the truth was the old house fascinated him now. Going around the back as they had all taken to doing for no real reason he could account for, he let himself in with the new key and lock Caleb had installed sometime during the week.

  The place still smelled musty and dusty, but now it was only the footprint. The cabinets were gone, the table and chairs from the dining room gone as well. As he went, he took a few pictures, snapping things that caught his attention, some for their artistic value, some simply because they looked so different now. In the living room, he was surprised to see how big the space actually was. Before with the couches, chairs and furnishings, it had looked small and even somewhat cramped. The window was still boarded, and he wondered about that.

  “Eric?” Caleb called from the back door.

  “Yeah. In here.”

  It was only seconds before Caleb joined him. Putting his hands on his beltline, he surveyed the space. “Wow. It looks bigger in here.”

  Eric laughed even as he took another picture. “That’s what I was thinking.”

  “Oh, hey. I was going to tell you, Rachel loved the pictures from the wedding. I did too, of course, but she… they really blew her away, and my mom and Sara haven’t stopped talking about them since I sent copies to Texas.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “I guess Rach and Dani are going to work on the things we rescued?”

  “That’s the plan.” Eric took two more before stopping. “So when do the boards come off the windows? That’s going to make a big difference in here.”

  Caleb nodded. “We’ve got the new windows ordered. I don’t want to do anything until they get here. These are old and brittle, and believe me, I’ve seen what happens when windows break. They’ll ruin a whole house in a flat hurry.”

  “Wouldn’t want that at this point.”

  “N
o. We wouldn’t.”

  A second and Caleb glanced at him. “So how bad was yesterday?”

  “Oh. Uh. Not horrible. The camera thing was a little weird, but besides that…”

  “How’s Dani?”

  That one was harder to answer. “Okay, I think.” It was so hard to figure out how she was because every time he tried to talk to her, she shut down.

  Although Caleb nodded, he didn’t look at all convinced. “I was just wondering because she seemed so different than before.”

  “Dani’s kind of a likes-to-be-in-control person.”

  “The lawyer thing.”

  “Yeah, like that. Except…” Oh, lands, he shouldn’t have said that. He hoped and prayed Caleb would let it slide.

  “Except?”

  Taking a long breath, Eric finally shook his head. “I don’t know, man. I mean in college she was this dynamo. I could barely keep up with her. At least she was most of the time, but then…”

  “Then?”

  Eric tried to figure out how to say it so that didn’t sound absolutely horrible. “It’s like she’s two different people sometimes. There’s the take-charge-and-run-over-you Dani and then there’s the so-scared-she-just-huddles-into-herself Dani, and I really never know which one I’m going to get.”

  Lifting his chin, Caleb’s eyes drifted into understanding. “Oh, you have one of those.”

  That surprised and alarmed Eric. “One of those?”

  A second and Caleb laughed softly. He let out a breath and tipped his head. “She sounds a lot like another one I know. About this high, pretty reddish brown hair?”

  “Rachel.”

  Caleb nodded. “That woman could turn on a dime, and I never knew where I stood.”

  For the longest time Eric had thought that if he had known this about Dani, he might never have asked her to marry him. That Caleb knew and did anyway intrigued him. “So Rachel does that too?”

  “Oh, yeah. ‘Bout drove me nuts when we were going together. Still does sometimes now, but I understand it a little better now than I did at first.”

  “Really? What do you mean you ‘understand it’?” In all honesty Eric really wanted to know. It felt like his life’s decisions hung on it.

  “Well, Rachel had a tough time growing up and then after high school, lot of tragedies and stuff that happened. She kind of learned she couldn’t really trust anybody else, and that included me.”

  “Sounds like Dani.”

  This nod was shorter. “It wasn’t easy, but I had to learn to be the guy she needed me to be rather than the guy who needed something from her.”

  Puzzlement went through Eric. “Explain that.”

  “Well, the way I learned it was you found somebody you wanted to spend time with and the relationship kind of just happened. Then Rachel came along, and I got a crash course in what the pastor was talking about this morning. Unconditional love and all of that. How you have to love no matter if they are loveable or not, that that’s what God calls us to do—especially for those we’re in a relationship with.” He stopped and took a breath. “I always thought marriage was about however long it lasted. I mean, my parents stayed together, but I mostly thought that was because they’d gotten lucky. So when things didn’t work with someone, at the first sign of trouble, I bailed.”

  “But you didn’t with Rachel.”

  “No.” The syllable was short and seemed to be a full-stop.

  “What was different about her?”

  The difficulty of the answer drifted across Caleb’s face. “Well, for one thing, she made it real easy not to love her. About the time things started in a good direction, she’d push away and leave me hanging. I hated that, thought it was her problem, and well, I didn’t exactly take it real well if you want to know the truth.”

  “But you stuck it out?”

  “I did.” Caleb nodded slowly. “Because I finally figured out that loving her was about me, not about her. It couldn’t be based on what she did or didn’t do. It had to be based on the fact that I loved her no matter what she did.”

  “And that worked?”

  Caleb laughed. “Well, now that depends on your definition of ‘worked’ because let me tell you, she gave me a run for my money. It wasn’t easy at all, but eventually she started trusting that my love wasn’t a temporary, as-long-as-it-works kind of thing. It was for real.” He shook his head. “I think that’s the hardest part.”

  Once again, Eric was confused. “What is?”

  “Learning to love like that. Learning to be that guy, the one who isn’t just trying to love her but really does. It’s like the pastor said this morning, it’s a major challenge to love someone unconditionally, to give them grace when what you want to do is yell at them and say they are ruining your life.”

  As crazy as it sounded, Eric knew that feeling very well. “That grace thing is…”

  “Not easy?”

  “Yeah.”

  When Caleb nodded, it was with understanding woven in it. “I’m no preacher, but I’m learning that it’s grace that really changes things, not from the outside in but from the inside out. Grace and mercy are like God’s love softened to something real, something that gets inside of you and it… it changes how you see life, how you see other people, how you see yourself. Until grace found me, I was a selfish mess. Oh, I looked good doing it, but where relationships with women were concerned, look out. Now…” He laughed. “Well, I’m not there yet, but I’m a long way from how I used to be.”

  Eric thought that through. “And that wasn’t about Rachel? Because she was the right one?”

  “No. Mostly it was about me and getting me right. She was just good motivation.” Caleb’s cell phone on his pocket rang. He looked down at it and let out a breath. “Hang on.”

  Just like that Eric melted back into his own little soul-world, wondering about what Caleb had said. She was just good motivation. That grated across Eric’s nerves. When he looked at the situation, it was plain to see that most of their issues went back to her, to Dani—how she was and how she wasn’t. If she would just…

  Caleb clicked off the cell phone. “Derek’s on his way.”

  With a nod, Eric stuffed the thoughts. “Oh, good.”

  “Do you really know what you’re doing with these things?” Dani asked as she stood off to the side. No way was she going to touch the things and mess something up, that would be the death of her.

  “Yeah. I hope so anyway.” Rachel inspected the little writing desk. It was the smallest of the three pieces. Made of wood, it stood on four legs and had a flip-down writing area with shelves and drawers in the back of it. “They don’t make them like this anymore.”

  Dani watched without moving, her arms folded in front of her. She should have told them she’d go out to the house, or home. Yes. Home would have been better.

  Straightening, Rachel went to pick the thing up, but it didn’t move. “Can you help me with this? I just need to get it over there under the work light.”

  It took a soft breath to get herself to move, and another to find the bravery to move the thing. “Where?”

  “Over there,” Rachel said with a nod in that direction.

  When they got to the spot, they put it down, and Rachel dusted off her hands. “I’m thinking when we get ready to do that armoire, we’d better get the guys to come help.”

  “No kidding.” Dani’s arms were already back around her as she watched Rachel move about the workshop. “I thought this was Derek and Jaycee’s place.”

  “Oh. It is. Now. It used to be my parents’ place before though.” Rachel selected several pieces of cloth and some wood striping liquid. “They bought it after my mom moved to town.” Bending down, she took one more look at the thing and went to work.

  Dani fought to get the rearrangement of the pieces right in her brain. “So this is your first show with Caleb then?”

  “Pretty much. The one about what they did on my house will probably end up being the pilot for it.”
She laughed as she sat on the dusty, cold concrete floor. “Who would’ve seen that coming? Never thought I’d be thankful for a hurricane, but part of me can’t say I’m sad about it.”

  A second and Dani sat carefully on a cleaner place on the floor. She folded her hands under her chin and leaned her elbows on her knees. “So they really fixed your house up then?”

  “Yeah, they really did.”

  “They do a good job.” For the first time in many months, Dani began to relax. It was nice to just talk.

  “Yes, they do.” A moment and Rachel reached for the cloth in the little bucket of water. She began washing away the dust. “So what’s the deal with Attabury anyway? I mean, I could think of a thousand houses I would have bought before that one.”

  Dani nodded and only because the space felt safe did she not get defensive. “It’s a long story.”

  “Well, we’re going to be here a while.” Rachel swiped the rag in the air toward the other two pieces. “But if you’d rather not talk about it…”

  “No. It’s okay, I guess.” Dani took a breath and let it out slowly. “You know about my grandma.”

  “Ms. P,” Rachel said, using the name everyone in these parts called her.

  “Yes.” The nod was slow and sad. “Well, her mama used to work out at Attabury.”

  That piqued Rachel’s interest. “Really?”

  Dani’s gaze wouldn’t stay steady. “She was the servant. She cooked and cleaned for old Mrs. Attabury for years. Before that, her folks were out there too.”

  “Her folks?” Rachel asked slowly.

  “Her dad mostly, I think because her mama had six kids to take care of.” Sitting up, Dani shrugged. “Most of what I know is kind of family legend past down to us. It was never really outright said, but the way I learned it, our people got their freedom in that house. And they didn’t have it there too.”

  The cleaning slowed. “They were slaves?”

  Dani didn’t especially like that word. “That’s the story I got.”