Six Guns Straight From Hell - Tales Of Horror And Dark Fantasy From The Weird Weird West

by Jennifer Campbell-Hicks

  He raised his left hand and his men moved into a two abreast formation. “Move out.”

  “You can’t do this to us!”

  Like most western towns, the buildings were placed too close together and everything was made out of wood. The flames quickly roared through the town.

  Amos did not look back as they rode away.

  John Howard is retired. He recently moved to northern California to hang out with his grand kids and fish in the ocean.

  He’s had a lifelong fascination with the Buffalo Soldiers.

  Bleeding the Bank Dry

  by

  David Boop

  “Let me get this straight,” asked the vampire Lord Daniel, “you want me to turn your brother into a vampire so you can rob a bank?”

  It wasn't that he hadn't heard weird requests in the 413 years he'd spent on this immortal coil, but this had to be the worst scheme ever concocted. He raised an appraising eyebrow at the three dusty ranch hands assembled before him; two young men and a boy on the verge of that distinction.

  They were haggard and nervous. He hadn't expected them to be this anxious after they'd gone to such extremes to track him down. Through his series of contacts, he heard they'd asked every voodoo witch, grave digger, and priest in the southwest part of the United States. It was only a matter of time before word of their search reached the only actual vampire in the area. Daniel wasn't concerned, as they'd made too much noise to be hunters. No, these three boy-men were none-too-bright. Goodness, the youngest was still a virgin.

  They were dressed in dungarees and chaps, their shirts layered with the Arizona dirt they crossed to reach his haunt in the old Anasazi dwelling. He could smell the rapids of blood pumping through them and it was only his damnable curiosity that kept him from ripping their throats open to feast.

  They nodded affirmatively to his initial question. “Yes, sir… er, Lord Daniel,” the oldest one said. Not that Daniel was the lord of much these days. He'd taken to ruling the recently-christened Colorado State from an abandoned cave dwelling, trusting his familiars to alert him when the occasional straggler traveling west would be close enough for their master to invite to sup. Vampires didn't need to feed as much as legends said, but they did need human blood.

  “But not just any bank, sir.”

  The middle one fidgeted the whole time his brother talked. He looked nothing like his sibs. While they were fair-haired and skin, his hair was brown, complexion weather-worn and temperament moody. He didn't even try to hide his displeasure at being there. Maybe this was because he was the one chosen for Daniel to convert. It wasn't that he was just at the angry age when fights came easier then patience. There was a seething under the skin, like a demon looking for compensation for being born. The dark pink scars that marred what would have been a handsome face were testament to that. The Vampire knew about demons.

  Daniel took him in with a hungry glance the young man noticed. Instead of cowering, the young man struck back verbally, “What kinda name is Lord Daniel? I thought all yous vampires had funny soundin' names.”

  The oldest tried to stop his brother's rant, “Paul! You just shush your mouth. That is no way to talk to his lordship.”

  “Ha! Lordship? Hell, how do we even know he's a vampire? He could just be some crazy kook who gots a bad bit of desert fever.”

  Daniel smiled. Regardless of their plan, he was going to enjoy hearing the screams of this one as his life fluids drained away. If Paul was any stupider, the vampire would consider it a mercy killing.

  “First off… Paul, was it? We don't choose the name we are born with or die in. Daniyyel was my name in life as it is in un-death. If you'd prefer to call me Mephistopheles, go right ahead, however, I'll be less inclined to do the favor you request if you don't show me respect befitting my station.”

  “Your what?” inquired the smallest one.

  “Mattie! Not you, too?”

  The youngest shook his mop of chestnut hair to correct his eldest sibling. “No, Luke. I wasn't meaning no disrespect. I just don't know what he means.”

  The vampire leaned forward in his chair and answered the teenager, “It means, lad, my place in society. The vampire sits above humans, thus should be afforded the proper amount of reverence.”

  But Paul wasn't done, “If you are so great, why you hidin' here in the middle of nowhere?”

  “Because those in power always have a target painted on their backs, boy. You'll know that if I grant your request.”

  “So, will you do it?” asked Luke.

  The vampire sat back on the chair, twirling his hand to imply he wanted to cycle backwards. “Let's start at the beginning. You need to rob a bank, why?”

  “Cause we're going to lose our land!” spurted Matthew.

  “Pa died last winter and Mama's been having a hard time of it. They're giving her one month to come up with the mortgage or they'll take the ranch right from under us, Lord Daniel.” Luke's chiseled looks would make him a dangerously handsome vampire, but the last thing Daniel needed was competition. No, he'd have to drain him dry, as well.

  “Pa worked too hard to build up that ranch, and we've done alright, but not enough for the huge payoff they're askin' fer,” offered Paul.

  “If we can pay off the revenuers, then we can make it until the cattle sale up in Denver come first of the next year. Please help us, mister.” Matthew's big eyes glistened as he pleaded, reminding Daniel of a kitten begging for milk. There was so much sincerity in the boy's plea, it would have touched Daniel's heart, if he had a working one. Seeing those eyes close for the last time would almost be a pity.

  “And how does turning this one,” he motioned towards Paul, “help you, again?”

  Luke actually beamed with some pride, probably since it was his idea. “They're going to build a new bank in Drowned Horse. It's like nothing you ever seen!”

  “I don't know,” mused Daniel, “I've seen a lot.”

  “Yeah, well, this is supposed to be made so that's no one can break in. They're digging a huge hole in the dirt. Then they're going drop a big metal box in the pit; blast proof, they say. There's stairs going down and a big safe door with a lock ain't no one gonna know all the numbers to it. The bank manager has the first number, the owner the second and the sheriff the third. “

  The vampire raised a single pointed eyebrow. “And how do you know this?”

  Two brothers turned to the third. Paul, a lopsided grin prominently displayed, gloated, “I've been courtin' Deborah Sue Zemanski. Her father's the one gonna build it. She showed me the blueprints. Sheriff is being real careful. Wants the folks to know that this bank is the safest in the West. They're gonna load it with gold and stuff. Has two armed guards on it all day while the vault's open.”

  “I still don't see the undead angle.”

  Paul turned red with anger. “What? Does bein' dead make you slow, too? Vampires can do things, un-human things. You can turn to smoke and such. Matty done read all about them in some book.”

  It was only the mention of the book that kept the dark lord from ripping Paul's head off. “What book?”

  Matthew reached into a satchel he had slung around his shoulders. The book smelled new, but was worn around the corners from repeated reading. The youngest moved into arms' reach of Daniel. He bowed as he accepted the book.

  A single word graced the tome's spine:

  Dracula.

  Daniel thumbed through the pages. He caught passages here and there; the drinking of blood, the turning of men into undead servants, and the transformation of vampires into bats, wolves or smoke. The writer had some of his facts right, but mostly he drew from legends so far away from the truth it was ridiculous. The vampire's laugh bounced off the walls of the cave, making it seem much louder than it was.

  “This?” Daniel slapped the book. “This work of fiction is what inspired you to seek me out? You based your whole plan on this?”

  Paul got redder. Matthew huddled behind his older siblings. Luke had
the courage to step forward and, with hat in hands, asked what the dark lord thought was so funny.

  “Vampires can't change shape, can't fly or turn to smoke. It's simple physics. Where would my clothes go? I certainly can't change them into smoke. Even if I went into the vault without clothing, how would I get the money back out?”

  The three brothers' faces turned white, as if Daniel had already drained their blood. Luke was the first to recover. “So, then what special powers do vampires have?”

  “You mean besides the ability to see in the dark and live forever? Well, as a race, we're stronger and faster than humans because we're not hampered by pain. As long as we have blood, we can exist underground or underwater for long periods of time without air. Without blood, we succumb to a dormant state and will eventually become one with the dirt we sleep in.”

  The brothers contemplated this turn of events. “Wait!” said Paul, “I don't remember seeing a metal floor, now that I think about it. They're gonna pour concrete for the floor.”

  Daniel was puzzled. “Concrete?”

  Matthew, answered, “Yes, sir. It's this stone you make with water.”

  “I know what concrete is. The Romans used a variation of it long before some sheriff decided to make a vault from it.”

  “But a vampire could probably bust through it,” said Paul, “You said yous was super strong.”

  Daniel acted insulted, “Cement is nothing, boy. Vampires break out of stone crypts occasionally. This should pose no problem.” He was exaggerating, of course. Depending on how thick the layer was, it could make the task arduous. The longer a vampire was without air and blood, the weaker he became. Guessing where Paul was going, Daniel asked, “So, then, your idea would be to bury yourself before they pour this concrete and bust through once the money has been placed in there?”

  Paul nodded, and Luke asked, “You sure you want to do that, Pauly? Lot could go wrong.”

  “I'm sure. This is the only way.”

  “He'll need to be buried in a box, so he has room to move around.” Daniel could feel a touch of excitement. Not that he derived any pleasure from robbery, but the idea of breaking into a supposedly unbreakable bank did give his ego a boost. “Do you have an idea how long it'll take to finish the project?”

  “Three weeks,” answered Luke, “They're going to put the floor in end of the week.”

  “Three weeks is a long time for a vampire to be without blood.” Daniel looked around. Around his cave were crates and boxes of stuff he'd collected over his long after-life. He went to an ornate chest and pulled out a bottle. It was red quartz and glisten like a ruby in the torchlight. “Here, take this.” He handed it to Matthew. “Fill it with your blood right before you bury your brother. It has special properties that will keep that blood fresh up to a month. If he drinks it right before breaking through, he'll get a boost of strength.”

  Luke reached for the bottle, “I'll fill it.”

  “No,” corrected Daniel, “Virgin blood is stronger.”

  Matthew blushed, but Luke kept the bottle.

  Daniel, knowing he was going to feast, wasn't going to ask for a reward, but Paul's attitude had made it necessary. “And to my fee, I want ten percent of your take.”

  “What does some moth-eaten vampire want with money?”

  Daniel smiled, “Why, a weekend in New Orleans, of course.”

  Without preamble, Daniel launched himself across the room and sunk his elongated fangs into Paul's jugular, relishing the fear that rushed through the young man's vein. Reflexively, Paul screamed and fought to get himself free, but Daniel wrapped one arm around him like a lover. The siblings yelled Paul's name and rushed forward, but Daniel held up a cautioning hand and they stopped.

  The nectar was sweet and ended all too soon. Once the heart beat slowed to an occasional thump, Daniel released Paul and made a small slit in his own arm. He pressed the fleshy spigot to the man's mouth and commanded him to drink. Like a suckling pig, Paul drank until Daniel was confident the disease had been transferred.

  Paul dropped to the floor and twitched. The others ran to him and watched with a mix of horror and fascination as their sib's scars vanished and the roughness of his skin smoothed. He was virginal again, handsome, reborn anew. It was too bad, Daniel thought, that he'd be nothing but trouble for him and the world.

  “Take him and keep him covered. Sunlight will burn him. Make sure he drinks before he goes into the ground and make sure that vessel is filled with some of young Matthew's blood. I'll expect my payment in one month. If not, I'll find and slaughter your whole family, starting with the youngling and leaving mom for last.”

  They nodded and dragged the prone form of their brother out of Daniel's domain. He licked his lips. He looked forward to finishing his meal when the boys returned. He couldn't leave anyone alive who knew what and where he was.

  The dark lord sent a familiar to Drowned Horse to check on the boy's progress the night after they left. The report had not been good. Paul had woken hungry and they fed him pig's blood. He threw up most of it, but managed to keep his head about him long enough to slip past his kin. The new vampire's first stop was his intended, Deborah Sue, where he effortlessly entered her room and seduced away her chaste. Vampires were very convincing, if anything. They were interrupted before Paul could feast on more than just her virtues and he fled into the night.

  It took Daniel's familiar awhile to track the undead boy, but finally reasoned that he must be at the town's only bar when a patron passed through the front wall and landed in the street. Familiars weren't all that smart. By then, Matthew and Luke had caught up with him. They got him out the back door and gave Paul some blood from the bottle. It immediately calmed him down and he left with them.

  Paul might take to being a vampire too well. Daniel considered ending the charade and slaughtering the lot. Maybe even the whole town, if anyone got wind of Paul's new look and abilities. The recently sullied Miss Zemanski was definitely on the list, as who knew what he told her or she reasoned during their intercourse. But the aged vampire held himself back. He wanted, no, he needed to see this play out. Daniel had been too long without a challenge, something to tax his mastery over men and beast. Paul was certainly a beast and would be slain like one.

  The remainder of the time passed uneventfully. Daniel only feasted once, a native that was out on a spirit quest; a journey that would now take the Indian brave to the next realm. The vampire thought about his trio of would-be thieves. He wondered how the plan had gone. When they returned, Daniel would kill Paul immediately, so that the new vampire couldn't protect his siblings. He expected a double-cross and would be disappointed if they didn't. When he was done with his family feast, Daniel knew of a bear cave nearby. He'd drop their bodies there and send a familiar to alert authorities of the tragedy. He'd used variations on this plan for centuries,

  The sun was just setting and the Dark Lord sensed the approach of one man. By the scent, it was surely Luke. He entered the cave, not timidly as he had the first time, but in a panic.

  “Lord Daniel, sir! We have a problem!”

  They rode at a break neck pace through the night. They'd never make Drowned Horse, which was in the Arizona Territory, by morning. During their day ride, Daniel draped himself in a blanket, careful to make sure no light would touch his extremities. There were fewer places to stop to change horses in Arizona, but the benefit was there were less people to see them. The vampire was taking a severe chance, but from what Luke had described, he had no choice. It was midnight before they reached the edge of town where Matthew joined them. “Thanks for coming, sir.”

  Daniel dismissed the gratitude. “How did he get himself stuck?”

  Luke started, “When Paul didn't come out on the night he was supposed to, the next day we managed to get into the vault saying we was putting some of mom's heirlooms in a safe place.”

  Matthew broke in, “While Luke kept the bank manager busy, I paced off the steps to where Pauly was buried and
found a huge stack of gold piled right on top. I made like I tripped and could see his fingers wiggling in between some gold bars.”

  “Okay, so why doesn't he dig himself a bit farther and come up in a different place?”

  “He used up his energy busting through the concrete, we think. We watched them pour it and it was very thick.”

  Daniel had been afraid of this. “Well, I still don't see why I have to rescue him.”

  Luke was stern, “Cause if they find him there and figure out what he is, they're going to wonder how he got that way. They'll trace him back to us, and maybe back to you. Ain't it better they don't find him down there?”

  The man had a point.

  The trio moved quietly into town. The place had grown over the last ten years. Even when the gambling dens closed down, Drowned Horse had managed to survive as a rest stop between Flagstaff and Phoenix.

  The two-story building faced the sheriff's office, so they approached the bank from the back. Daniel could see a window on the second story. He jumped up and grabbed the window sill, forced the pane up and dropped back to the ground. He carried the other two, one at a time, up and through the window. It was only when he reached the vault door that he had to pause.

  It was big. A vampire could never tear this thing off its hinges; so instead, Daniel examined the dial and the huge wheel that would be turned when the combination was entered. While Daniel didn't know anything about modern locks, he knew a few things about older ones.

  He pulled off the dial and exposed the workings beneath. He ripped out parts until he could fit his hand in. He felt around until he grasped something he guessed was the fulcrum and yanked on it. A loud clank reverberated in the alcove. He drew out his hand and turned the wheel. It spun effortlessly and the brothers pulled open the door. The room was dark, which was no problem for Daniel, but Matthew had to grab a lamp from one of the desks and light it. The Dark Lord was impressed. He'd not seen so much gold since his time in Persia. There was currency here, too. Bundles of bills and rolls of coins lined the walls. Yes, he could have a good time in Louisiana with this.