"Hayden," He says with a smile, "Sounds really nice. Thank you," the younger man says, "I'm Trevor," He sticks his hand out for me to shake it, and I take it.
"Hi," I say with a wide, shy smile.
"Alright, lover boy," the older man on the inside says while laughing, "I would like just some sweet tea."
I write it down, and take the other orders as well. The day went by pretty fast, until nine at night. Trevor left me a twenty dollar tip, to which I am much obliged. Janie helps me close, and we walk like cavemen back to the house.
Over the next few weeks, the weather cools down. Every day the Trevor guy comes in quite a few times. He makes a point to sit where I'm waiting. It's Friday, and the twenty he leaves me has a number on it, and 'text me' written in bold letters. I decide to put it in my phone, and get on with my night.
I decide to text him that night at seven.
Me: Wow, Mr. Trevor. You're so original.
Trevor: I knew you'd get my message.
Me: Well, I spent the twenty. So, be expecting some weird and unusual text messages.
Trevor: Well, crap. I guess I didn't think that one through.
Me: Why did you give me your number?
Trevor: I like to talk to you, that's why. You sure are pretty.
Me: Well, I thank you.
Trevor: You're quite welcome. Do you think I could take you out sometime?
Me: Well, I'm not sure you're from around here... but there's nothing to do in this town.
Trevor: We could always just hang out at the diner.
Me: Starting small. I like that.
Trevor: Me too. I'll see you when we meet again?
Me: Sure. =]
The next day, it's like clockwork. He comes in at one, and has a sweet tea and a slice of cherry pie with whipped cream. Miss Jacobs left around eleven this morning, and so I decide to sit with him. Is this too soon? Am I doing the right thing? He's nice, and he flirts appropriately. He's absolutely adorable. He's about six inches taller than me, and he's stalky. Muscular.
"So, where do you stay?" He asks.
I sit with my legs extended across the orange seat with my back to the wall in front of him, "Around," I smile. I don't want to tell him just yet that I'm an orphan.
"There aren't very many places around, you know," He eats his pie, and gives a little giggle.
"I know," I shrug, "It's a little embarrassing.
"You live in the group home down the road?" He asks plainly. That's a little creepy.
"How'd-," I start, squinting my eyes a little.
"Janie told me," He says laughing. I shoot Janie a dirty look, and she shrugs her shoulders. She's not very good at keeping her mouth shut. She’s close to the table because she’s also nosey and wants to hear our conversation.
"I can't keep anything from you, huh?" I ask, partially embarrassed.
"Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal," He assures me. I just smile up at him.
What am I thinking? Don't say what you're thinking, don't do it, "Want to come over some time?" Fuck.
"Sure. I would love to," He smiles as he sets his fork on his whipped-cream plastered plate, "I get off at four."
"Today?" I ask stupidly.
"No, next year," he says. Am I just a target for smart ass comments?
"Fine. I get off at three. It's the creepy vine-ridden house at the end of the street," I say. Stop. You don't know this kid. He could be a bad person. But, so was Ward. I won't know until I try, right?
"I figured," He smile widely.
"Okay," I say coolly. He gets up, and lays a fifty down, "Oh no, I can't accept this, it's too much," I say trying to hand it back. All he does is lift his eyebrows, and walks out the front door. What the hell?
I just sit there like an idiot, with a fifty dollar bill in the air. I look at it like it's something foreign before shrugging and sticking it in my apron. The rest of the shift was pretty boring. I was mentally preparing myself for this strange encounter that will happen in about an hour.
I walk home hastily, he's not out in the road working with the others. He can't stand me up on the first 'not-even' date, right? I run up the stairs and shower, shave, blow dry, and straighten. I'm running an iron through my hair when Ward comes to the doorway. My heartbeat quickens.
"Someone is here for you," He says. Holy shit. He answered the door. He's probably putting two and two together. Fuck. His words are monotone. He can't look me in the eye.
"Okay, thanks," I say and put the finishing touches on my hair.
I start to walk out the door, and Ward is still standing in the doorway. "Be careful," He says without looking at me and walks away. Okay? That was weird.
I run down the stairs almost tripping going down so fast. He's in the foyer. He actually looks more put together. And so country. He has a black t-shirt on with light wash jeans. His shirt is tucked in, with a large belt buckle separating the two, with some cowboy boots on. Yes. Definitely country.
"Hi," I say shyly. I've decided to wear my blue sundress, with some boots. The dress flows to my knees and has cap sleeves. Very safe for the first "date."
"Hi," He looks me up and down. "You are just too cute," He says.
"Thanks, you too," I say. I try to correct myself, "Well, in a manly way."
He just laughs. I show him to the kitchen area. Janie is standing out the back door smoking. I give him a bottle of water, and one for me. He takes the top off and sets it in front of him.
"So, who all lives here?" He asks.
"Well, you've met Janie, and I. Jessica and Hannah are two of the other girls. Ms. Gar is the head of the place, and I'm assuming you've met Ward?" I ask, curiously.
"Yeah, he didn't look too happy when I asked about you, though," He takes a drink of his water.
"Why is that?" I push.
"His jaw tightened a little bit. Where I'm from, that single action could get your ass whooped," He has a look of shock on his face, "Butt, I meant butt."
I just laugh and say, "Where are you from?"
"North Georgia area," He takes another sip and plays with the cap. He lifts it up and drops it back down on the counter.
"Oh, okay," I say and shift in the barstool. I cross my legs, and he glances down at them. I smile. I let it happen.
"You're very beautiful," He says, looking down at his water.
"Thank you," I say mimicking his body language. He's turning red.
He gets up and stands. His face meets mine. He's not as tall as- don't compare him to Ward, Hayden. Don't even think about it. His breath smells like tobacco. His eyes are wide and brown. His dimples show when he smiles. He inches closer and looks at my lips, then into my eyes. He repeats this a few more times, and then he finally presses his lips onto me. What am I doing? I barely know him. But I like it. He's slow, passionate, and gentle. He takes the back of my neck and pulls me closer.
A slamming door breaks the kiss. The back screen door slams so hard, it makes me jump. Ward walks from the back door, and into the foyer. I don't care, I look at Trevor, and start where we left off. Are we moving too fast? Am I just on rebound? I don't know, and I don't care.
He stops, and hold my face, "Whoa." I don't say anything but smile.
We decide to go into the sitting room and chat for a bit. We sat on the fluffy couch in front of the window. The curtains are tied back today, and the room is especially bright with the autumn sun pouring in. I feel ears listening to me. It’s like I can’t escape these curious, and nosey people. I tell him a little about myself and why I’m here. He looks a little heart broken. He explains to me that he’s an emancipated minor working in construction after his parents also passed away. He’s been on his own since he was fifteen. He explains he’s never really had a girlfriend before, which is kind of hard to believe.
“You are too sweet and too cute to have never had a girlfriend.”
“Well, you know. Being an orphan surely puts a damper on your love life.”
I let out a little gig
gle, “I don’t think so.”
“No, you’re right,” He laughs, “Just my excuse. I’ve always been a little shy, I guess.” I think I believe the first explanation over this one.
As the sun dips under the horizon, the room darkens. “Well, I guess I should get going. I have to work early tomorrow.”
A little saddened he was leaving after just a short time, I hide my disappointment with a smile and say, “Yeah, I have a test tomorrow. But I’ll see you tomorrow evening? I’m working until close again.”
“Of course,” he says as we get up and migrate towards the front door, “It was a real treat to get to talk to you. I really like talking to you Hayden.” His words comfort my soul.
I look down in a sudden embarrassment, and say, “Thank you, I really enjoyed our time together.” Without warning, he grabs my waist and kisses me goodnight.
SIXTEEN
Trevor comes into the diner every day that I work. He has been very casual, and cool about everything. He's moving at a slow pace, and I appreciate it. He has kept his distance reasonably and inches closer when the time is perfect. I like it a lot. I think he can sense my recent heartbreak. I think he can feel it when we kiss; which is almost every day. Today, the air is crisp, and the muggy Florida weather has changed into a beautiful day. November is my favorite month. It's a time for a change. I need change. Change is good, right?
He asked me yesterday to take me to his place. I was a bit on edge about it, but I agreed to it. I haven't learned much about him, so I would like some privacy to do that. Every time he's over, I feel like I'm being watched, and I feel supersonic ears everywhere. He says he has his own place, about three miles away. I know he's eighteen. I know he has a good job. I know he is a hard worker.
Janie helps me get ready. "Casual, or sexy?" I ask.
"Mix the two, let me look," She walks to the closet, and pulls out a few things. "I like this shirt, with these shorts." She's holding up a sweater that hangs off my shoulder. It's the same one I wore when I listened to Ward's song.
"No, I like those shorts, though," I say while rummaging through my clothes. I look to her stuff. She's smaller than me, but I think I could pull it off. "What about this?" I ask as I pull out a pink tube top with a bow around the waist.
"Can your boobs fit?" She laughs.
"I'm sure I can try, bitch," I say as I slap her shoulder. I shut the door, and try it all on. She looks at me, turning her head left and right.
"I love it. Your boobs look amazing. He's going to love it too," She almost squeals. I actually do. I feel so giddy and awesome inside. I can't help it. We dance around the rooms like idiots and prepare to tame my hair.
He pulls up in a coup-like red car with two doors. "I was half expecting a truck," I say stepping down the stairs in my white flip flops. I made sure all of my nails were nice and groomed.
"Are you stereotyping me?" He asks while pointing to his large camouflage jacket.
I put my fingers pinched together in front of me, mouthing 'little bit.' He laughs and walks closer to me.
"You know it's chilly out tonight, right?" He asks getting closer.
"I have a jacket," I hold my lightweight white sweater up.
"Okay," He says as I take the last step. He comes in front of me, almost face to face, and puts his large hands on my waist and hips. I put my arms around his neck, and kiss him. He moves his hands lower and squeezes my butt. I giggle while kissing him, as does he. He grabs my hand, and we walk to his car.
"Can you drive a stick?" He asks me,
"No," I admit.
"Wanna learn?" He asks. I want to learn so badly.
"Okay," I say, I'm feeling wild. We switch sides, and I adjust the seat when I'm in. It smells like an old car.
"Okay, first put your foot all the way down on the clutch; to the floor, good. And press the break. Okay. Release the emergency break here. Okay. Put it in first gear. Yeah, that one. Take your foot off of the break and onto the gas. Slowly let go of the clutch, when you feel the engine drop, press on the gas harder, almost equal to the clutch." The car jolts forward, then levels out, "Okay. Watch your steering. On the dashboard there, when the RPM's reach, let's say two, put the clutch in again, put it in second gear, and repeat the process." I'm pretty slow, but I'm doing it. I'm pretty proud of myself. When we're on the paved road, I slow and repeat the process again. "Are you sure you've never done this before?" He asks.
"No, I swear," I say with a laugh.
"Turn left, watch the cones," He says as I almost hit one. I'm getting cocky. The dirt road turns into a blacktop, and I switch the gears. "Good God girl, this is hot. A girl who can drive stick, hell yeah.”
He shows me where to go. It's honestly not very far. It's a very small blue house with a window unit sticking out of the front window. There's nothing behind it except thick woods. The two houses on either side are the same color. There's a small driveway and the lawns are made up of mostly weeds. I get out after putting everything in place and throw him his keys. He doesn't bother to roll up the windows, so I don't either.
Inside is small. It's an efficiency. The kitchen is exactly to the right. It has two counters, a sink, and a small fridge. A room is beside the kitchen, which I'm assuming is the bathroom. A small closet with no door beside that. In front of us is a small card-playing table, with a plastic chair at its side. To the right of that is a fat-back television standing on an old microwave holder. His bed is to the left of us. It's a small twin bed with an old window above it on the side, and at the head of it. His bed sheets are of rebel flags, and camouflage.
I'm looking around when I feel his hands on my waist. I turn around and meet his face. Our noses touch. He smiles, and his dimples deepen. His Adam's apple rises and falls with each laugh. I kiss him first. Am I moving too fast? Am I coming off easy? Will he stay with me if I give into him tonight? I'll have to try and see. I don't want to get too involved if he's going to just use me. I push these thoughts away and concentrate on his lips. His tongue slithers in and out of my mouth. Something about him feels familiar. I don't know what it is, but I like it. I want him to touch me. I move my body in ways that note my feelings. His hands move from my hips to the bow under my bust.
I'm willing and ready. He hesitates and moves from my bow to my face. I slowly try and peel his jacket off, and he shrugs his large arms out. I run my fingers along his muscles. He presses my back closer to him, and kisses my neck, along my exposed shoulder blades, and at the base of my collarbone. I lay my head back with my hands on his biceps. My breathing gets heavier, and I let a small whimper escape. I can feel his lips curl into a smile. He turns and sits on the bed with me still in his arms. I stand and stare at him. I reach around behind me, and unzip the tube top, letting it fall to the floor. Without hesitation, he grabs my hips and lays his face in my chest. He moves his hands up, and cups my breasts in my bra; while he kisses my cleavage. He stops and pulls his white t-shirt over his head, and starts kissing my lips.
"Just to let you know," He says between kisses, "This wasn't my intention."
"Mine either," I whisper.
After an hour, we lay beside each other as we both gasp for air.
"Now what?" he laughs.
"I don't know," I admit in a laugh. He moves the hair off of my neck and pulls the comforter over me.
He pulls out a pack of cigarettes behind him, "You mind if I smoke?"
"Only if you give me one, too," I scrunch my nose at him.
"That's my girl," He says as he takes two out. He has a fancy lighter.
We watch television for a few hours. He gave me one of his ARMY shirts to wear. It's extremely baggy on me, but I don't care. We sit up against the wall and watch his small screen in front of us.
The sun is going down, and it gets a little nippy. I don't want to admit it, but I'm getting bored and cold. I inch down in the bed and pull the covers over my shoulders. He copies me. I scoot closer to him on my back, and he sets his arm over my stomach and grabs my other sid
e with a squeeze.
We decide to go for round two.
I really wish I could know what I was thinking right now. I’m in bed with a complete stranger. Am I really just that easy? Or is my need for this feeling something else seeded deep inside me? I need help. I need someone I can talk to. I need my mother. Are my parents looking down on me? Are they disappointed? Are they trying to warn me somehow? If they are, I haven’t gotten the message. It’s not like I was looking for one or anything. At this exact moment is when I decide to actually pay attention to things that could be warnings. A strange man flirting with me at my job isn’t really that suspicious, but it is a little strange how fast things are moving.
SEVENTEEN
I open the door to the foyer when Trevor and I said goodbye, with a kiss. I turn around and see Ward coming down the stairs. He looks at me in Trevor's ARMY shirt, and my shorts. I'm holding Janie's shirt in my hand; as I close the door. He looks down, shakes his head, and chuckles a little. What the fuck was that? I'm tempted to say something. He has no right to judge me like that! He was the one that screwed up, not me. So, why do I have a flood of guilt flushing through my body? He turns the corner and goes into the kitchen.
The shower felt so refreshing. I've decided to chat with some friends from my old town, and find out that two of my best friends are pregnant. I look at the time and see 7:45PM. It’s not late, but I’m tired. I put Janie's computer back in her drawer, and stretch before I climb back in bed. I set my alarm for six in the morning, and try to sleep. Janie is working until nine tonight, so she's not here. It's just Ward and me, and I'm not scared. Not even a little bit. I text Trevor and say goodnight. He replies with 'goodnight sweetheart.' I read it in my head as if he was saying it. I hear his strong southern voice roar through my thoughts.
I wake to my phone vibrating in my hand. It's Janie.
Janie: ill be home late. going to town to drop off a bill for Gar. =]
Me: k. be safe.
Janie: you too. dont wait up. i might be L8
Hot & Cold: Toxic Love Page 14
