A Mate Worse Than Death

by J. L. Ray

  Tony nodded and added, “Engstrom was found on the Mall.”

  “No glass?”

  “I suppose that there could be some. I mean it’s full of tourists every day. But still, most portable drinks are plastic or aluminum or magecast paper, not glass, and for this exact reason, to keep the Mall area relatively free of ways to hurt tourists. So I have to assume.”

  Cal grinned, “Assume what?”

  “That those are dump sites instead of the sites of the murders.”

  Cal nodded his approval of her logic, but added, “Gonna be hard to prove.” “Maybe not. If there really isn’t any of the same kind of glass in those areas, then they have to be dump sites. And if they are dump sites, it begs the question. Where did the murders happen?”

  At that moment, Cal’s f-light spoke to him. “Call from Lieutenant Azeem.” Cal got it out and pulled up the Lieutenant’s face, a sign of his agitation that he had added visuals to the more normal sound-only interactions.

  “I need you and Tony up here now.”

  “On our way, sir. Just down in the autopsy room.” Cal pocketed his light and tightened his hold on the large, stuffed Monster. “Thanks again, Doc.”

  Caligari nodded, “Good luck, detectives!”

  When they got upstairs, they found the Lieutenant waiting for them in his office. He motioned them in and shut the door.

  “I have authorization for us to travel and deputies in Wilson County waiting for us to go to the cabin.”

  “Great,” Cal started to turn around.

  “Hold it,” Azeem growled. “We have an issue. The McKneelys checked in with me five minutes ago. Serena hasn’t budged from the offices of Monster-Mate, not since we spoke to her earlier.” Cal frowned, “Several hours ago?”

  “Yeah. I asked Mephistopheles to check the schedule. Even covering for Heraphina, she was scheduled to end her shift early tonight because of the renovations. So the question is, why is she still there?”

  “They’re sure it is Serena who’s there? Not a spell?” Tony asked.

  Azeem nodded, “The boys assured me that their noses smell true. It is her.”

  “Hey, gotta trust the noses of the Three Blind Mice, right?” Cal rumbled.

  “It’s not the mice I don’t trust, big guy. Serena sure had all of us fooled. Even Phil, I guess,” Tony shrugged. “She’s got to be pretty good to be able to make Phil think she’s such a total ditz when she seems to be the ‘Mastermind’ behind all of this.”

  Cal pouted, not a good look for an ogre, but Tony, who immediately realized the problem, reassured him. “Hey, partner, Phil’s like, a billion years old and he’s been working with her for months. If she can fool him that long, it’s no wonder she had us all thinking that she isn’t exactly the brightest light on the Christmas tree.”

  Cal, duly mollified, asked, “Lieutenant, whaddya want to do about the situation?”

  Azeem sighed, his lion-sized lungs pushing out a lot of air that fluttered the papers on his desk. “I want to be in two places at once.” He paused for a moment. “Anderson and Perrault are on a search and rescue operation down in Norfolk--I got that call about two hours ago. And De Groot and Falk have been working the other cases coming in. Those don’t look like homicides, but we haven’t got the official ruling yet. I can’t pull them off those just in case they’re on the same kind of timeline with two cases instead of one.”

  “You gonna use the demon again?” Cal asked casually and then shifted the stuffed monster under his arm. “Cause maybe we should send him in to talk to Serena.” Tony looked horrified. “You want to send in a civilian? Cal, that’s a horrible idea. I mean, we think he’s the ultimate target in the first place!” Her voice got louder and louder.

  Azeem flicked his tail and huffed, and the room got quiet. He looked from one partner to the other. “I think we should send Mephistopheles in to talk to Serena. At this point, we have two scenes we need to get to, two suspects who may have been working together but seem to be operating separately now, and at least one of them has a vampire in her control, unless they have destroyed it already. In this situation, we can’t send in one officer to either situation.” As he made his points, he continued to look from one partner to the other. He realized that Cal wasn’t the issue. Apparently, he already approved the idea to include Mephistopheles, which Azeem found quite interesting. Perhaps Cal hoped Phil would get killed. That Tony did not want him to be included, however, was even more interesting. His whiskers twitched.

  “Sir,” Tony began, “we can bring uniforms to make up the difference--”

  Azeem cut her off. “Oh, have no doubt that we will at Monster-Mate’s offices, but at the cabin up in Wilson County, we’ll have local sheriff’s deputies, and they are unknowns.”

  “Then two of us go there and one to Monster-Mate. I’ll go to Monster-Mate.”

  Cal turned to give her a look, “You’re sending me to the witch again, without you?”

  “Cal!” Tony shook her head at him, “You did just fine with the sister and her, uhm, date.” They both smirked. “I think you’re ready for this.”

  Cal shook his head. “Man, I never thought my partner would ditch me for a demon. An old one, too, even if he doesn’t look that old.” He gave her puppy dog eyes, which actually worked pretty well for most ogres. They retained a bit of a doggy look even after childhood.

  “Stop it with the eyes, now. That’s not going to work,” Tony told him.

  “Enough!”

  They both looked at Azeem, whose tail was lashing behind his desk.

  “Cal and I will go to the cabin and deal with Heraphina. Tony will take Mephistopheles to Monster-Mate and see Serena.” He looked at Tony, “I want the two of you to treat it as if you were on a date yourselves so that she doesn’t percieve your entrance as a threat and run. Then, see if you can bring her in. We don’t know which Being has control of the vampire, so you must be prepared to subdue one.”

  “How do we do that, sir?” Tony asked him. “Vamps are so freaking outside the realm of Fairie that I don’t think anyone even brings it up as an option in the Super Take-Down class.”

  “This is the reason I want Mephistopheles with you, other than the fact that he has every right to be at Monster-Mate offices without having it look suspicious. He may know how to subdue a vampire.”

  “Garlic? Holy Water? Wooden Stake?” she asked.

  “You can talk about it on the way over. I have already briefed him on the plans. However, I suggest using the NASH gun. That’s what we’ll have.”

  Cal humphed, then turned it in to a cough when Azeem growled, just a little.

  “Yes sir,” Tony told him with little to no enthusiasm.

  “Let’s move,” and Azeem was up and over the desk and out the door, with Cal trotting behind him.

  “Cal!” Tony yelled at him as she followed the two out of Azeem’s office.

  “What?”

  “Bed Monster!”

  “What?”

  She pointed at his arm, where the big stuffed toy was still tucked. “Got a feeling Herafina isn’t going to take you too seriously with the big, green toy under your arm!”

  Cal looked at the toy. “Nice save! Thanks, partner.”

  She nodded and added, “Hey Cal, watch your back, okay?”

  “You watch yours!” He looked at Phil, who was still sitting at her desk. Then he tossed the toy at Phil, who caught it by reflex. “Both of you.”

  “Detective Kelly!” the bellow echoed through the door.

  Cal grimaced. “Gotta go!”

  Tony walked over to the desk where Phil sat with the ugly stuffed animal in his hand, looking bemused.

  “How odd.”

  “What?”

  “I got the sense that Cal actually just gave me his blessing.”

  “No, he threw an ugly toy at you, mostly. Don’t read more into it than that.”

  Phil smiled and stood, looking around to see where he could put the big toy.

  “P
ut it in Cal’s chair.”

  Phil flashed her a grin, “You put it there. I got my scratch already today.”

  “She’ll let you put the toy there. It probably smells like Cal.”

  “Ah, so it does.” Phil walked over and very gingerly dropped the toy into the seat. The chair seemed to purr a little. “She likes it.”

  “Apparently so will little Newman.” Phil gave her a puzzled look, and Tony blushed a little. “Berthell and Cal named the baby Newman.”

  “A fine name,” he told her gravely.

  She raised a brow. “I guess Dad took it better than I expected.” She stood for a moment, then sighed. “So, Azeem talked to you about bringing in Serena?” Phil got a sly look on his face. “I believe it is called being under covers?” “Smartass.” Phil gave her a wide-eyed look. “I have little experience helping law enforcement, my dear detective. Usually, my clients are attempting the opposite. Is that not the term?”

  “Smartass squared.” She sighed again and added air quotes, “We are not going ‘under covers’. We are going in with a ‘cover story’. We don’t want her to realize that we have discovered her involvement with the two homicides until we can get her here and question her. It’s best if we get a confession in a magic-free room.”

  “Our cover story is...?”

  “Again with the smartassery. Our cover story is a date--you’re taking me back to the office after a date.”

  “Ah, for a little office role play, perhaps? Or you could tell her you just love my big...desk?”

  “You want me to punch you, don’t you?”

  He grinned and she got a visual of the desk and--time to get her mind back on the job.

  “I know you can handle your side of the story. I just hope I can make this look believable,” she turned to grab her jacket, but suddenly Phil pulled her around and slid his arms around her waist. His mouth came down on hers, hard and hot. For a few seconds she lost track of anything except the feel of his lips and the scent of his skin against hers as his tongue thrust into her mouth. She slid her arms up his back and into his hair as his hand hands slid to her ass and pressed her against him, letting her know how much he had gotten into this role. The kiss ended far too quickly. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. His lips were swollen and glistened, and she had the urge to nip his lower lip. He must have seen some of that in her face because the smug grin that quirked the ends of those luscious lips caused her to give in to her urge.

  “Ouch!” he dropped his arms from her waist and reach up to his lower lip. “You bit me!”

  “Don’t be a big baby. That wasn’t a bite.”

  “It most certainly was.”

  “Crybaby.” She turned back to grab her coat and felt a sting on her backside. “What the hell was that? Did you just pinch me?”

  He grinned at her and winked.

  “You know I carry a gun, right?”

  “So do I.” He looked down at his waist for a moment and then at her, still grinning.

  She rolled her eyes. “Three thousands years. You’d think you’d have better lines.” She shook her head. “C’mon.”

  “I was just making sure that you had some memories to draw from when we get to the office. Stanislavsky was one of my clients. Method acting, you know.”

  She kept walking.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Even pushing beyond the speed limit, which had increased considerably with the new Magi-drives, the trip toward Waynesville took long enough to make both Cal and Azeem antsy. When they got to their exit, Cal, who was driving, barely slowed down. Normally, they would have stayed on the Interstate or state highways, but they knew that if Heraphina had decided to monitor the roads, she was less likely to extend her spell to the more touristy, slower avenues along the Blue Ridge Mountains. It took a lot of energy for one witch to sustain a spell that would cover such a wide range, and Scarafina really hadn’t seemed to have a clue why her sister might have wanted access to the family cabin, so it looked like Heraphina could draw only on her own power, not that of her sister witches.

  “So, you really think the vampire might be with Serena?” Cal asked the Lieutenant.

  “I could not say. However, I feel that it is more likely that Heraphina is the one who created it and that Serena told her to do so.”

  “Yeah, mastermind ain’t exactly what I’d have called that little nymph until a few hours ago, but if she’s up to her pretty, pink bustier in this like we think, then she’s gotta be the one calling the shots for Adonis. Heraphina doesn’t seem to have enough self-control to manage that, right?”

  “Indeed.”

  They rode in silence a little longer. At the mile marker that indicated their turn off, Cal pulled off the road for the exit ramp to Local Road 66. Azeem had put a charm to disguise the car in the glove compartment so that when they had to get back on roads that Heraphina might have spelled, they could pass through unnoticed. The spell wouldn’t last for long, so they had waited until they needed it to invoke it. Azeem reached into the glove compartment and pulled out one of Glinda’s little egg-shaped charms. He cracked the glittery silver egg on the dashboard and a flash of grey smoke and sparkles flew up to the ceiling and then settled over the interior.

  “That should do it,” Azeem told Cal. “Let’s go.”

  Cal nodded and they circled down the exit ramp to the road leading to Heraphina’s cabin.

  Tony worried that if they took Phil’s limo to the offices of Monster-Mate, that one or both of the dwarfs would blow the bust, given their current rivalry over the fair Serena of the pink business suit and scary-good acting skills. She and Phil drove over to his office in her personal car, an old blue Beetle with brand new Magi-drive. The car lived at the station because she so rarely got to drive it. She spent more time with Cal, who couldn’t fit inside the Beetle without magic, so usually they took his truck or SCIB vehicles. She parked close to the building, and the two of them sat for a moment in the dark, waiting for back-up to arrive and check in.

  “Look, I know the Lieutenant pushed you to do this. You don’t have to go in there. I can go and pretend I’m looking for you. The uniform cops can follow me in for back-up instead of you.”

  “She will see you before you go in the building. Businesses such as dating services need excellent surveillance cameras.” He grimaced, “They do attract the occasional garden variety crazy. That’s why your back-up officers are parking a block away and wearing a charm to come in closer, so they can trick the camera.” Phil turned in the seat to face Tony. His left hand rested on her seat and with his right hand, he tucked a loose curl up behind her ear. “Azeem asked me to come. He did not push me. I feel some responsibility for all of this. It is why I assume the Geas will kill me if we do not solve it properly. I would expect to be held responsible for the actions of my employees when they are killing my clients. I want to help.”

  “I don’t think you should go.”

  “I can handle myself, detective dear. I have had more than a few thousand years to learn how to take care of myself.” He added, “Your concern for my well-being is encouraging, I must say.”

  She folded her arms. “My concern is for the case. I think this is a bad idea.” His lop-sided smile appeared, stopping her own breath, “I love a bad idea. It is where I acquired most of my favorite possessions.”

  She narrowed her eyes, “No more Death Cab tunes for you.” Then she sighed. “Okay--look, a couple of basic rules. When we go in, I’m in charge. I say hide, you hide. I say run, you run. I say duck, you duck. No questions. Got it?”

  He nodded gravely. “Indeed. You say hide, I hide. You say run, I run. You say strip, I--”

  She rolled her eyes. Then she made his day by adding, “Though, come to think of it, strip.”

  His eyes lit up until she added, “You have got to change wardrobe. If you wore a suit like that on a first date with me, it’d be the last.”

  “I transmuted this for the visit to Lock Up. This is a Vivienne Westwood, yo
u know,” he told her gravely.

  “Shut the front door,” she said and threw a hand up to her mouth. “How much did you pay for it?”

  He folded his arms and didn’t answer.

  “Well, hallelujah. I found a way to shut you up. You know, ever since Fairie, I’ve been a lot less impressed your clothes. If I could transmute my outfits, I might spiff up a bit more myself.”

  “You would still have to find out what to purchase,” he reminded her. “I research for hours sometimes.”

  “How totally mansome of you. Just shift to jeans and a t-shirt, okay? This is supposed to look like a date.”

  “Then it’ll have to be Diesel jeans and perhaps--”

  She cut him off, “Really don’t care. Whatever you think works best.” As she finished the sentence, his clothes rippled, changing from the suit to the expensive pair of jeans and a ripped t-shirt he’d worn that afternoon. “You were wearing that earlier,” she told him.

  “And I thought you didn’t pay attention to clothes.”

  “That’ll work,” she told him, trying not to sound too impressed. He dressed down well, if it could be called dressing down when the outfit still cost what an off the rack men’s suit might cost.

  “You brought the magical cuffs?”

  “Those are for Serena. You know that right?” “A demon can dream...”

  She shook her head, “From bad idea to cosmically suicidal idea. Look, buddy, you have got to take this more seriously. Serena is obviously a lot more cunning than we realized. If you told me the day I met her that I’d call her a ‘Mastermind’, I would have laughed my ass off.”

  “Dear Tony, you take this seriously enough for the both of us. And perhaps enough for the both of us and then some.”

  She growled a little, “You realize that ancient demon or not, you could die in there?”

  “Kiss me again, and I will die happy,” he pulled her face over with his right hand and leaned in, watching her eyes and waiting for a protest. When none came, he pressed his lips to hers very gently. He rubbed his lips against hers, the edges of his mustache tickling her skin. She opened her mouth to his tongue, sighing as she slid her hands up his torso, feeling the muscle that hid under his designer t-shirt. His mouth grew slightly more demanding, his hand on the back of her head pressing her in. But when she felt something hard against her thigh and looked down, she realized that it was the car’s stick shift, not Phil, and pulled back apologetically.