To See You Smile: A Heartwood Novella

by Brea Viragh

  Maverick offered a smile. And for the first time, Sawyer noted, it wasn’t the bland drawn-from-a-hat smile his brother was usually so keen on giving. This one had a warmth that was lacking before. “Now it begs the question…what are you going to do?”

  “About what?”

  “You can be so stupid sometimes. About your wife.”

  “We’ve already established that I don’t have one.”

  “If you let her get away,” Maverick stated, “I tell you right now, I’ll rip up this check.”

  “Oh, come on—”

  “Finding love is something not everyone gets to experience. You have an opportunity to be happy with the one person who completes you. No, I don’t want to hear it.” Maverick held up a hand to stop whatever flow of words Sawyer was about to fire off. “I don’t know what was said in your argument, because I know you, and I know you must have said some horrible things, but you need to fix this. Now. Before I leave and don’t have an opportunity to pay you back for the bruise on my chin. How am I going to explain this to my partners at the firm?”

  Sawyer grimaced. “I botched my opportunity. Lorelei is not the type of woman to forgive past a certain point. I’ve pretty much used up my chances.”

  “You’re afraid of her.” It was less a question than a statement.

  He should have brought the conversation to a halt right there. Before they could go any deeper. He wasn’t good at digging below the surface, especially not with Maverick.

  Sawyer hated, hated, the fact that it was in his nature to offer up a childish, taunting retort. Something to get whatever person he conversed with off his back in a matter of minutes. No, seconds. He was not a child. His hands fisted, but instead of falling back on old faithful—the millions of one-liners he kept stashed in his brain—he went with the truth.

  “I came off harsh. I said some nasty things to her, things I didn’t mean. In the heat of the moment…they just came out and I couldn’t take them back.”

  “Sounds about right.”

  “I’m a wind chime maker. With approximately three honest relationships under my belt,” he said. “Navigating unfamiliar waters has never been my thing.”

  “You had enough balls to approach me for an investment.” Maverick took the last sip of espresso and stared at Sawyer over the rim of the tiny doll-sized cup.

  “It’s different. You’re my brother. The worst thing you could tell me is no, then we’d get back to our lives. The way we’ve always been.”

  Maverick gave his head a shake. “The way we’ve always been isn’t good enough anymore. Not for me. We’re family. We need to get past the things that pushed us apart when we were younger. Maybe this business partnership will help us make a fresh start.” He smiled, then grew sober again. “But that isn’t all. I don’t care what you have to say or do. Apologize. Eat crow. Whatever it takes to get Lorelei back. You make things right with her. Dammit, Sawyer. You belong together.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “I don’t understand why you’re holed up in your room instead of going out somewhere.”

  Lorelei sighed, adjusting her seat and turning her head to stare at her mother, a slim woman with a crazy head of hair to match her daughter’s. “I told you already,” she said. “I have a bazillion papers to grade before the week is up and this is my only chance to do it. School holiday still means work, Mom. It’s not a real day off.”

  “I understand, but sixth grade math can wait. It’s a beautiful day out there. You should be out enjoying it instead of sitting here like an old lady.”

  Lorelei fiddled with the curls near her ears. Old lady. Yup, that’s what she felt like. Her bones crumbling to dust along with her emotions. “Beautiful day or not, this work isn’t going to do itself. I need to sit here until I finish or else it won’t get done. End of story.”

  Her mother sighed like the world was coming to an end. The tapping of her foot against the carpet was icing on the cake. “What happened to you?” she asked. “You’re still young.”

  “I’m still young enough to look in my twenties, but personality-wise I should be drinking Metamucil. You tell me the same thing every day. You have two other children to bother. Go find them. I’m sure they could both use a dose of motherly advice.” Annoying motherly advice.

  “I say it because you need to hear it,” Mrs. Zasso continued. “Besides, you still live with me. You’re fair game.

  “Thanks. I’ll get along fine.”

  “Maybe you need a certain young man to spice up your life.”

  “Pass.”

  “One with dark hair and a beard. Broad shoulders. A bit of a swagger.”

  There was no room in her life for men. Not anymore. “Again, I’ll pass.”

  “That may be difficult, seeing as how he’s standing on the porch.”

  “He’s…what?”

  The pen dropped from her fingers and Lorelei rushed to the window, pushing her mother out of the way. There stood Sawyer, with a bunch of flowers in his hands, some with their roots still intact and showing. Her heart melted.

  In response to the reaction, she jerked the curtains closed and turned around. She was sure her mom could see the heart threatening to rip from her chest to send blood and emotions oozing all over the floor.

  “Don’t care,” she managed to answer calmly. “I have papers to grade.”

  Mrs. Zasso wasn’t having any of it. She swooped back to the window and jerked the curtains open until the metal grommets screeched. “Girl, the man came here bearing flowers! The last time I got flowers was back in ’72 from a fellow at a renaissance fair who asked me to stick my nose in his bloomers.”

  Lorelei rolled her eyes. “Christ, Momma.”

  “Go out there and at least give him hell.”

  “I’ve already given him hell.”

  “Then give him more!”

  “Well… How is my hair?”

  The hallway mirror gave her a good view of the rat’s nest sitting on top of her head. Eyes wide, Lorelei licked the tips of her fingers and ran them along her bangs. Trying to push the strands into the merest semblance of order. Ugh, there was no fixing a disaster. She could spend a thousand dollars and a day at the spa and still come home looking like she’d gotten caught in a windstorm.

  How was she supposed to give Sawyer the hell he deserved when she wasn’t physically prepared? Mentally, well, sure. She might have spent a few dozen hours going over what she’d like to say to him, her stomach full of fire and her chest aching. At the dinner table. During class. During her evening showers.

  It didn’t help when Allison battered her with a barrage of questions.

  Where’s Sawyer?

  Why don’t you go over to see him anymore?

  He promised we could go out to dinner soon. Do you think Friday would be a good day?

  No, sweetie, Friday wouldn’t be a good day never sounded more appropriate. But there was no easy way to tell a child that everything had been a lie.

  Mrs. Zasso’s hands were on her shoulders in an instant, propelling Lorelei forward. “Go! You look fabulous. Stop your fussing before he gets tired of waiting.”

  Hands fisted at her sides, Lorelei took a few deep breaths. “Will you get Allison off the school bus if this takes a while? I don’t want to rush it.”

  “Of course.”

  She squared her shoulders and purposely slowed her breathing. Her heart still beat at warp speed, however. Hopefully Sawyer would be too busy groveling to notice. He’d better have come here for something other than a simple apology. That was letting him off the hook too easy.

  She could use a good grovel. Not like she hadn’t been pondering the idea for some time. Dreaming about it at night, when her eyes closed and sleep finally took her. The copious ways to make Sawyer pay for hurting her. Then she woke up feeling guilty. Guilty!

  But here he was, and despite her wildest imaginings, she hadn’t thought it possible. The man callously broke her heart. She figured there was no way he would sho
w up again. He’d dumped her. A week ago, Sawyer had dumped her exactly the way she’d expected him to. Now here he was on her doorstep, probably ready to spout some nonsense about forever and saying and doing and making her feel things. Good things. Things she hadn’t wanted to feel.

  His fist was still in the upright position for knocking when she jerked the door open.

  His eyes grew wide at the sight of her. “My most beauteous lotus blossom—”

  She held up a hand. “Let me stop you right there.”

  “I-I can do better if…if you give me a minute.” Sawyer stumbled over his words in a way that would have been adorable if she’d been in a forgiving mood. “Oh sweet, glorious, glistening pearl of the morning, I’ve come to humbly beg for your forgiveness.”

  “No.”

  “I just want to—”

  “No.” Lorelei crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. Her best I’m-a-mom-and-you-don’t-even-wanna glare. “Do you think I want to hear any of it? After what you said to me the other day? You made it clear that things were over, and so now they are.” Her smile was like an ocean trench. Deep and icy and dangerous. A little half smirk and an insolent lift of the chin thrown in for good measure. “We made a deal, remember? You got exactly what you wanted from me. Thanks again for the wind chime.”

  His gaze followed her pointing finger to the porch ceiling and the mahogany-and-copper piece hanging from a hook next to a basket of feathery ferns. Its melody was silent in the still air.

  “Good, I’m glad your mother likes it. But I didn’t come here to discuss a fucking wind chime with you. I think we both know it. I’m so sorry.” He thrust his hand forward, fingers clenched tightly around the stems of the wild daisies. “These are for you.”

  “Did you pick them out of our garden?” Lorelei asked as she reluctantly took them from him. Her damn heart was trying to intimidate her into softness. Into acceptance.

  “What? No!”

  Her finger made a rapid descent to the hastily covered bare spot in her mother’s front garden bed. “Don’t even try it. I’m not blind.”

  He heaved a sigh. “Fine. I wanted to bring you flowers but I ran out of time. I ran out of space in my brain to remember to stop by the flower shop. So I had to improvise.” The words came out rapid-fire.

  He was cute when he was trying to apologize, Lorelei thought. Sweat beaded along his hairline even though the day was calm and cool. His fingers clenched and released at his sides, throat working as he swallowed convulsively.

  Good. He needed to sweat a little. Or sweat a lot. She wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily.

  “I can’t get my work done,” he said when she remained silent for too long. “Do you know how annoying it is? I sit down and my ideas drift away like smoke. I’m listless, even with a to-do list that grows by the day. And it’s crazy…I go into my kitchen for a bowl of cereal and everything is moved around. Everything!”

  “Sawyer, what do you really want?”

  He stopped mid-tirade, and the embarrassment flashing across his face was hard to disguise. “Sorry, I got a little off track. I…ooh, boy.” Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he fought to continue. “I want…you…to stay with me.”

  Lorelei blinked. Blinked again. “Come again?”

  “Stay with me.” His hands dropped to his pockets while the tip of his shoe worried a pebble on the porch. “I mean, I want you to come home with me. Right now. Today”

  “Come home with you…”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s not my home,” she said, pointing over his shoulder in the general direction of his house and workshop. “In case you forgot, we are not married. We are not a family. You made it abundantly clear the other night when you told me to get out of your life. Accused me of purposely keeping my past a secret from you and asked me which one of you, you or your brother, was the better lover! Do you have any idea how horrifyingly embarrassed that made me feel?”

  “Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Having successfully destroyed his attempts at apology, Sawyer fumbled along as best he could and tried to recover. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Hurt me?” Lorelei forced a laugh. “Sweetie, I’m just fine. I don’t need a man in my life to make me happy.”

  “I know, and it’s one of the things I love about you. You’re a strong, independent woman. A hell of a mother. And a fine cook when we can actually agree on something.”

  “Ah. You want me to come home with you because you’re sick of microwaveable pasta.”

  “It’s not just the pasta, Lorelei. Do you remember a couple of years ago? The first night of our honeymoon in Ocracoke?”

  “What? Wait…” She held up a hand, but she knew where he was going with this. The splintered pieces of her heart shrieked for her to make him pay, but she ignored them. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

  “I told you we could have gone anywhere. Done anything. We could have stayed in the Taj Mahal for all I cared because I would have given you the world on a string.” His voice grew softer. “Do you remember what you said?”

  “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  “You said that anywhere was perfect as long as we were together. You said you didn’t need fancy clothes or diamond rings or trips to Europe. As long as we were together. It took me a long time to figure out that you were right. You’re the brains of this operation. The heart and soul. I understand now.”

  “What do you understand?” She had to know. Surprised that his story had hurt. What had she expected, really? Did she think she was invulnerable? Able to completely resist him and the overwhelming urge she had to run into his arms? She cleared her throat to make sure her next words were emotionless. “Since you seem to have solved the mystery.”

  “I understand that I don’t need my brother’s money to make a difference. I don’t need to expand to be happy. I just need one thing. You.”

  “Me!”

  “You, you infuriating woman. I need you in my life. I need your encouragement when I feel like giving up. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side, and feel your warmth when I fall asleep at night.”

  “You figured all this out in a week? What took you so long?”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry about running out on you like that. There were a few pieces of business I had to take care of before I felt I could show up here. Namely, this.” Sawyer dropped to one knee, pulling a small black box from his pocket.

  “I thought you were gone for good,” Lorelei said, trying desperately to keep her face an expressionless mask. “Chasing after your brother and his money.”

  “Turns out I should have been working on my approach rather than the chase,” he muttered. “Maverick and I met on Sunday.”

  “And?”

  “He wants to be a partner. Wrote me a check and everything. I can whip it out and show you, if you want.”

  She used her chin to gesture. “What’s in the box?”

  “Peanut butter and jelly.”

  “Bug off, Sawyer.”

  “It’s a ring. What do you think? There aren’t very many things that can fit in a box this size. I wanted to give you the biggest and the best, then I sat down and thought about it. Figured you would prefer this to anything else. Appreciate the gesture for what it’s meant to be.” He lifted the lid and the afternoon light perfectly caught the corner of the diamond.

  Lorelei shielded her eyes from the sudden glare. “What is that?”

  “It was my grandmother’s engagement ring. She was a fan of dainty. Fine. I thought a simple band would fit your personality.”

  “You’re calling me simple?”

  “Not at all. You shine. You’re a spitfire. Why would I want to detract from you with a fancy diamond? I also thought the sentimental value would appeal to you. You’re a woman who appreciates family. This is from mine. I want you to have it.”

  “As long as I take you, too? That’s the deal?” She frowned over him for a second, mentally poking his proposal for dangers
. Snares and snags to lure her back into trouble.

  He cleared his throat. “Yes.”

  She enjoyed making him squirm. Watching the way he fidgeted. This was another facet to his personality, the slightest shadow of nerves pushing through his usual confidence. How interesting. It wasn’t that she thought him incapable of depth. If anything, she’d seen the potential in him from the start. Then their argument came, to remind Lorelei that potential was one thing, but changing someone wasn’t possible. She’d been one of those women once, the kind who saw a man for what he could be instead of what he was, and in the end it ruined her marriage.

  She didn’t want to make the same mistake with Sawyer. Which was why she hadn’t expected him to apologize. Or come back. Ever. Yet here he was, and he was waiting for her answer.

  “What do you expect me to do with my daughter?” she asked instead.

  “I’ve already thought about the squirt.” When her eyes went cartoon-wide, Sawyer hurried to continue. “I have a space cleared in the upstairs bedroom. I spent the last two days clearing boxes and making room. Making space. For her. For you.”

  “You’re the type to want space rather than a wife and kid.”

  “You said the same thing to me before I proposed all those years ago.”

  She stifled a skeptical laugh. “Oh, did I?”

  “You did. You told me I didn’t have room in my heart for anyone but myself. Remember? Sorry, my knee is getting sore.” He rose and dusted off his pants, still holding the ring box. “Maybe you were right. Okay, yeah, you were right. And once upon a time…sure, I would have had trouble making space.” He shot her a glittering look. “Then I met you. You said yes. It’s been a roller coaster ride with our fair share of ups and downs. And I want them all, Lorelei. Don’t you understand? I want them all.”

  There was still a good bit of distance between them, and it was getting harder for her to maintain it, especially when she would rather leap on him and cover him with kisses. She still needed to know: “What happened next?”

  “You were so beautiful at the wedding. Glowing and perfect and beautiful. The preacher told me to kiss the bride, and when I leaned forward, you whispered to me.”