Arissa's Destiny (Redemption Trilogy)

by Amanda Daul

  Nothing made sense to her and she mentally swore at herself for wasting time even thinking about such petty thoughts. She had a war to win. There was no room or time to be making up her mind about how a man was making her feel.

  “Trax,” she muttered, hardly audible, just before he reached the door. She felt a sudden déjà vu from the night before when she had called out to Cayl for the last time.

  He responded immediately to her near-silent command, as if he had been expecting, waiting for her call.

  Arissa let her shoulders drop as she lifted her chin higher, letting her eyes settle on Trax’s. Though his expression lacked any real emotion, she still felt that tiny flame of uncertainty fluttering in her stomach.

  “You know the soldiers better than I do.”

  Instantly, he read her tone and knew she was actually asking for his assistance in gathering her first team to be sent out of their camp. Knowing she was too proud to ever come straight out and ask for his aid, he didn’t question her request and returned to her slowly, trying to hide the satisfied grin that lurked on his lips.

  “Don’t get all smug about it. If I could do it myself, I wouldn’t need you.” As hard as she tried to fight it, Arissa finally let out a quick smile that immediately followed her words.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.” Without even meeting her gaze, Arissa felt another flutter in her stomach. Behind the flame of doubt that was always burning there, reminding her not to trust him, was a tiny flicker of something she had not felt in a very long time. Something she cursed herself for feeling immediately after her mental lecture to herself about focusing on what was important. Most of all, she was angry that it was Trax who caused it and that it actually made her happy that it was.

  For the first time in what could possibly be her whole life...she felt a tiny glimmer of happiness.

  Chapter Ten

  “You didn’t say anything about you leaving, too. What did you have in mind?” Trax asked, inquisitively of her new information. They had spent the better part of the morning compiling a list of their most skilled, trusted soldiers and sent one of the guards on standby out to notify them all. They were to meet in front of the hall in less than twenty minutes.

  Arissa knew better than to inform Trax of her plans until it was time to leave. Since their unspoken truce agreement earlier, she felt slightly better being around him, though she still felt her walls being thrown up every time he looked at or spoke to her. However, it was progress. She could only hope that the war wouldn’t last long and they could soon part ways for good.

  Kneeling on the floor of her quarters again, she was quickly rummaging through boxes of supplies, tossing useful items into a pack. Trax stood behind her, still flummoxed by her sudden announcement of departure.

  “I’ve wasted too much time as it is. For the last month, all I’ve done is sit here and watch over the training, hiding. Maybe even hoping that some miracle would happen and information about the General would just fall into my lap. I knew better than that,” Arissa muttered, almost shamefully. “I promised Landon and Cayl I would stay put until my shoulder was completely healed, but I can’t wait any longer. I can still throw a blade and ride a horse, that’s all I need.”

  “You’re not going alone,” he ordered as she rose to her full height again, only a few inches shorter than he was.

  Arissa hiked the bag over the opposite shoulder that had been injured, letting out a breath of air before turning to face Trax. “The group is going to make their way towards Vailwood to join the rest of the military again. I’m taking one of the maps you drew up to start checking off other places where he could be.”

  She spoke quickly, and dropped her gaze to the floor as she moved to sweep past him when he caught her arm, making her pause. At first she jolted, feeling the situation was ridiculously too similar to that of Cayl’s the night before, but then she realized exactly how different his grip was. She had honestly been startled by Cayl’s unexpected and forceful behaviour, seeing a fire in him that had never been there before. That morning when she awoke, she had noticed a dark stain on her right forearm where he had gripped her so harshly. She remembered hearing a sharp gasp, and then had covered it with her hand immediately, as if hoping it would go away. Cries of frustration wanted to burst from her throat now that she would have that reminder of their horrid departing for weeks now.

  Trax’s hand was firm, but softer, almost comforting against her arm. His touch was hot and from the instant she felt the clear spark from his skin, she pulled her arm away, her widened eyes flashing up to meet his. The flicker of comfort she had just felt was nearly as terrifying as Cayl’s harsh action the night before.

  Quickly apologizing, his expression twisted in confusion, but after she moved out of his sight, he hurriedly repeated, “You’re not going alone, Arissa. It’s too dangerous.”

  “I have to, Trax. There’s nobody else capable enough to come with me. I’m not going to be raiding any settlements, just trying to find where he could be hiding out. I need you to stay here. The soldiers will be waiting for you any minute. Tell them about the plan, make sure they understand exactly what to do.” She spoke all the while she was gathering her last items, fastening her cloak around her throat and pulled her hair loose from her collar. Hesitation and reluctance was written all over Trax’s face, wanting to object and convince her otherwise. She didn’t allow him time to speak. Looking him square in the eye, she paused with one hand on the door to leave. “He’s out there somewhere, Trax. I just have to find him.”

  Outside her quarters, she could see a dozen or so men gathered in front of the mess halls, far enough away to just be out of earshot. She paid no heed to them, knowing Trax would be able to inform them better than she could anyway. Arissa quickly ducked into the stable before anyone could stop to speak with her. She felt utterly determined and she didn’t want anyone to interrupt her.

  It took slightly longer than usual to prepare Raze for the journey. Lifting her heavy saddle onto his high back was excruciating, feeling as if a hot blade had been ripped through her shoulder where the bullet had torn her flesh apart. She had to take a moment to lean against his solid shoulder, breathing evenly to keep the pain and nausea away. When she had first been injured, Landon’s wife, Yasmine, had helped her with healing brews and remedies to speed the healing. Arissa knew very little about her, other than the fact that she was a skilled healer and she would occasionally come to the camp with Landon, though he only rarely came anymore. Since Arissa had been off medicine, both naturally made by Yasmine and the chemically-produced salves that had been salvaged, stolen or traded. That type of medicine was rare and extremely valuable since all of the factories that had made it were destroyed years ago. It was too valuable to use, save for life or death emergencies.

  By the time she was finished fastening all of the buckles and straps on Raze and attaching her saddle bag securely, her left shoulder and arm were on fire. She had not used it much since being in the camp. Somehow, Raze always just happened to be ready for her when she needed him and whenever there were weapons to care for or hunting to do, Arissa was always called away for something at the same time she was about to do it. By the way time she returned, it was already done and at first she hadn’t thought much of it, the timing was simply off. However, now she wondered if someone hadn’t been keeping a step ahead of her on purpose.

  She was only stalled by one guard at the gate, inquiring of her return. When she was unable to give him a specific answer, he asked what was to be done about the prisoner that was still being kept in the jailhouse.

  Honestly, Arissa had completely forgotten about the attempted bomber. She informed the guard to hold him and keep him alive. She still needed to find out what exactly his motive was, but with so many other things happening, it was one thing that could wait. The immediate danger had been disposed of and perhaps letting him sit in sanctuary alone would make him more compliant.

  It was after noon when Arissa and Raze fina
lly broke out of the hidden region that concealed the camp. She paused a moment when they were standing in the forest again, the one that she had spent so long living in, traveling in. Their entire territory was nearly all forest, with the exceptions of the cities and occasional meadow or valley, not to mention deserted battlegrounds.

  Now she had to kick up her senses an extra notch and remain completely alert. Anybody could be travelling these paths, which is exactly why she chose to lead Raze off the well beaten trail, staying just out of sight behind the thickest tree line.

  Walking silently, Arissa thought about where she could actually go. Leaving the camp had been so sudden, she hadn’t even thought about a plan or strategy. All she knew was that she needed to stay hidden from anybody. As far as the civilians knew, she was just as much a missing person as the General was. For the month she had been involved with Trax’s camp, she hadn’t heard anything about what was happening in the cities. She knew that the entire time she had been looking for Cayl, she had been the most wanted person of their era, with everybody convinced that she had been the murderer who killed their Governor, truly the only governmental man who had actually cared about the well-being of the people and that was exactly the reason he had been killed.

  Arissa and Cayl had both been seconds away from death at the public execution that Trax had kindly interrupted. In that instant, it seemed the entire world had exploded around them and the ground hadn’t stopped shaking since. In the mass confusion of the crowds, the General had disappeared and he hadn’t been seen since. It was a good thing that Arissa was just as good at hiding. When she didn’t want to be found, she may as well be invisible. That was the skill she was relying on to find the man responsible for ruining her life.

  Thinking of the Governor brought a frown to her already gloomy face. He had been a friend, someone she worked with. They both hated what they were forced to do, but they had made the best of it together and even helped a large number of people escape what would have been death.

  She did not murder the Governor, but she knew who did.

  The Lieutenant Governor.

  A man she had only heard about, never met. Just before being arrested in her own home before the execution, Arissa had gone back to the Governor’s mansion, to the study where he had been killed. A cold shiver ripped through her spine, despite the sweltering heat of the sun, when she remembered vividly the man who had confronted her. The man who had murdered the Governor, hired by the Lieutenant. Somehow, he had been waiting for her at the scene of the crime, blatantly telling her that she was his new target.

  Arissa had hunted and tracked down enough criminals to know the look of a person with a purpose. From the instant she saw into his dark, heartless eyes, she knew that he would stop at nothing until she was dead by his hand. She had escaped, but barely.

  She hadn’t told anyone and there was no proof, but Arissa knew it was the same man who had pulled the trigger at her own execution, resulting in the injury that she still bore. There had been no sign of him since, either. Another man on her kill list, but she had a feeling that if she could find the one of the three, she could find the rest shortly after.

  Nobody else knew about the hit man and Arissa didn’t plan on telling anyone. Having somebody hunting her was nothing new, and she knew that if she had announced it to Landon or Cayl, they would have freaked out and demanded that she leave the camp for her own safety. Even Trax, through their differences, would have insisted on her protection before retribution. She couldn’t have that. Her thirst for revenge was the only reason she was able to continue doing what she did. Wanting to change their land back to what it was, to make it a better place for her child to grow up. She had to stay focused.

  The pain in her arm and shoulder was increasing drastically. She must have torn the weak tissue around the wound again, but continued to bite back the waves of nausea as her stomach roiled. She was barely able to lift her arm to push back the branches they rode through, resulting in several new scratches across her face.

  They travelled all afternoon at a slow, even pace. Headed nowhere in particular, Arissa just wanted to lose herself within the forest and start working her way through from there. She dug up every redundant memory of trailing criminals that she could recall, thinking about each and every hiding place she knew. Most were tucked into the back of her mind, but several she made a tiny note on the map she had brought, when she stopped Raze for a drink at a stream.

  Nothing exciting happened all day. She never saw another person, not even another animal. She felt completely alone in the forest and it was an eerie feeling that she didn’t care for. Being in the camp so much must have desensitized her.

  Dusk was beginning to fall by the time Arissa had found a small shelter between several large trees, the intertwining branches forming a protective barrier. The temperature had dropped, but it was still warm enough that she didn’t need a fire. She would only have to put it out within an hour anyway, when the sun was fully set.

  All day she had managed to clear her mind of everything, focusing on nothing, not even the General. She hoped that the empty rumination would help clear her mind and make it easier to prepare for whatever was coming. Never letting herself ponder too much on the future, she tried to stay focused on getting through the present.

  It was likely her imagination, but it seemed that even Raze was distant with her. Her stallion always stood at her side whenever they were in the forest, but now he stood beside a tree, his back to her and his head hung sleepily.

  Despite feeling nothing but tension in her stomach, Arissa dug out a few packets of dried food from her bag that she had packed from the camp storage. She couldn’t even tell what it was as she chewed, everything seeming tasteless.

  There was nothing for her to do, nothing to think about or ponder. The moment she had left the camp she had left behind the emotions that had plagued her for the last several days. She no longer felt the guilt for leaving and banishing Cayl from her life, the longing and heartache for the daughter that she didn’t even know and there certainly was not another confusing, frustrating thought about Trax. Since his sudden turn of sincerity, she hadn’t been able to decide if she was just being paranoid about her mistrust in him. Lately he had been making it so damn hard to stick to her original strategy of keeping him out of as much as possible, and then never have to see him again after she defeated the General.

  None of that was bothering her now. She felt free and clear of it, able to revert back to the person she had been for so long, the person who didn’t let anything step between her and her goal. As the words crossed her mind and her eyes shifted around the dark forest that had somehow become more her home than anywhere else, she could feel her heart becoming cold with vicious thoughts. Thoughts that pleased her, Arissa realized, as a coy grin slowly slid across her face. She studied the dying light between the trees for a few moments longer, before her dark eyes flashed up at the same time she felt a pang of alarm in her chest. Her eyes fluttered to see Raze beside her, still quiet and peacefully asleep.

  A cold blade was suddenly at her throat, a choppy, breathless voice drifting in her ear. “You’re slipping, sweetheart. You should have seen me coming a long time ago.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Arissa may have let herself fall too deep in concentration, but there was no situation that she couldn’t get herself out of.

  Within the next moments, she was the one holding the dagger to the throat of the hooded man on the ground in front of her. He was coughing still, struggling for air to breathe after she had rammed her elbow into his stomach, then proceeded to flip him onto his back in one swift movement.

  Straddling him, keeping him pinned to the ground, Arissa kept her knee dug into his ribs. One hand had his wrist pinned to the ground, the other holding the blade tightly against his throat. She was unable to identify the man, his face was shadowed and hidden by the hood of the tight, black vest and jacket that he wore. The skin tight sleeves extended to his wrists t
he smooth, slippery fabric of the clothing taut over the defined muscles of his arms and chest. It was a strange material that was unknown to her.

  Arissa was prepared to use the knife at any moment, preferably after he told her who the hell he was. The fact that someone had been able to sneak up on her like that startled her more than being a tiny flick of a wrist away from death. It had to be someone skilled and elusive enough to track her and as far as she knew, she was the best damn hunter in the territory.

  It wasn’t until the man started laughing, deep rolling chuckles, that Arissa’s expression fell and she felt seriously worried. Her hand trembled slightly, pressing the sharp edge deeper against his throat, a thin, red line appearing from the pressure. He wasn’t even trying to fight back.

  Through his dying laughs, he freed his left arm that had been pinned under her knee, still gasping and swallowing harshly for even breaths. In a quick, fluid motion, he threw his arm up, sweeping the hood off his head, revealing his amused, grinning face.

  Arissa gasped, her expression horrified as she shot to her feet, backing away several steps as quickly as possible. Her jaw had dropped, matching her wide, unblinking eyes.

  “Wha...how...”Arissa stuttered, at a complete loss for words as she stared down at the figure on the ground that was still twisting in pain. She couldn’t believe it. Somehow her brain wasn’t accepting what she was seeing, even when he slowly pulled himself to his feet.