Through the Lens

by Laura Sutton

  “Thank you,” Claire said to an empty bathroom.

  Claire left the bathroom and saw her bag on the chair by the door. She pulled out her sketchbook and pencils. She always kept her supplies with her. The man’s face would not leave her mind. The sketches and darkness that consumed her flew on the pages before her. Pages filled the memories assaulting her, finally quiet, as she laid down on the pillow and fell asleep.

  Aidan knew he should not have stormed out of the bathroom, but he could not stand seeing her injured. Nor could he take seeing her vulnerable or the look that was in her eyes as if she expected him to hurt her with each touch. He laid in his bed remembering Claire's body lying beside him. He got up from the bed. He knew there was no way he was sleeping tonight. He fired up his laptop. He hated that he could not call Topher like he normally did. He grabbed his phone dialing the second number. “I need a background check and a complete dossier. Claire Henderson. Yes, the photographer. No, don't fax it, email it and then wipe it from the servers.” Aidan commanded, hanging up without a good-bye. He sat there for a couple of minutes before a chime from his email appeared to him. He downloaded the file then deleted the email, purging it from the system. He looked through the papers, she had a clear record. No car or apartment under her name. “Odd,” Aidan said as he looked through the papers. Picking up his phone he dialed the number again, “This is it. Where is the younger information? This starts at age eighteen.” Aidan looked through the file again just to make sure he had not glanced over it. He froze as the word, sealed, was spoken by his head of security. “Can we unseal it?”

  “No, sir. It was sealed by a federal judge in a confidential federal case.”

  “Mob?”

  “Doesn't look it, sir. More like the serial killer case may be from the length of the trial and the witnesses involved. The whole case is sealed, so it is only a guess after seeing the size of the case file.”

  “Know anyone who could give us information.”

  “No, sir. Most are dead or in Witness Protection.”

  “So, her name could be an alias. Perfect.”

  “No, sir. She is not a part of the case, but her records were sealed as a result of the case.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I would take care, sir. She may be dangerous. Should I come there? You shouldn't be alone with her.”

  “No, Max. I can take care of myself.” Aidan hung up as he processed the information. Her records were sealed. His own family records were sealed. What was so dark in her past that warranted the sealed records?

  Hours had passed and Aidan had fallen asleep in his office chair, his laptop burned brightly as it ran through programs that Aidan had been working on. Screaming, awoke him, grabbing the pistol out of his desk drawer he ran down the hall. Bursting into the guest room he saw that Claire was still asleep, hurting herself in a night terror, screaming. He put the gun down on the table as he grabbed her arms quickly. “Claire, CLAIRE.” He shouted holding down her arms to stop her from scratching or providing more injury to herself. He moved her so she was on her side and smacked her butt as hard as he could. She jolted and finally stopped screaming. Breathing hard she turned to look at him. “It was just a bad dream.” He said almost panting. She breathed hard, her breasts rising and falling in his white t-shirt. “If I let go, are you going to hurt yourself?”

  She shook her head. As he let her hands go, he saw her lip quivering. “Come here.” He sat down and she moved into his arms as she started to cry. The dream had been so real. The man choking her, pressing himself into her, the hurtful yet true things about her father. The memories assaulted her as she pressed herself into more of a ball, bringing her knees in tight to her chest, trying to make herself as small as she could.

  “Tell me about it.”

  “No.” Claire choked out in between tears.

  “It will help, trust me.”

  “You haven't signed a non-disclosure agreement,” Claire retorted. She was angry, but not at him she was angry at herself for allowing the memory. To think it was safe to sleep after the attack she had earlier. She needed Alyssa. Alyssa always knew what to do.

  Aidan was shocked when she mentioned the non-disclosure agreement. She did not trust him after he trusted her with his family's secret. But did he really trust her? He did make her sign. Of course, he never had someone throw a signed contract in his face before.

  Aidan unwrapped his arms from around her. The moment he was gone she rolled into a tighter ball. She had done it; she had pushed him away as well. The first guy that she had any feelings for since that fateful night. Soon the tears turned into hard sobs, unable to push the emotions back down. Yet again she was being abandoned. Just another ass walking out of her life, leaving her. The footsteps in the room alerted her but she didn't care. Aidan grabbed her and pulled her to him as he sat on the bed. “You're right.” He pressed a paper into her hands. Claire opened her eyes to see the non-disclosure agreement signed by Aidan.

  “You signed this.” She was shocked.

  “I made you sign one, so it is only right that I sign one for you. I would never tell anyone anything that we said in the privacy of our rooms or our conversations,” Aidan stated strongly.

  “You wouldn't hold or touch me if you knew,” Claire said bitterly.

  “Trust me, Claire. It's the only way to move forward,” Aidan said leaning back against the headboard. He knew that he could not react to anything she said if she did trust him enough to talk. He blanked his face and sat there.

  “You said your records were sealed.” Claire wiped the tears from her face, though she knew it was only a matter of time before the dam of tears broke and talking would not be possible.

  “Yes.”

  “So are mine.”

  “I know.”

  “You know?” Claire moved to look at him better.

  “Yes. I was worried about what happened earlier. There was a background check done on you as the photographer.”

  “Why does that not surprise me,” She said with disdain in her voice.

  “I am under a credible threat, Claire. Everyone I meet is vetted by my security team.”

  “My father. He was a bad... evil man. Hundreds of people hated him. Then when I went to college. I met a guy.” Claire bit her lip as a couple tears dropped from her eyes as she looked at the bedspread she was sitting on. Aidan picked up her chin.

  Claire took a deep breath, “He wasn't who he said he was. He was the younger brother of one of the girls my father was involved with. He took me out to this bar downtown. The neighborhood was rough, but I thought I was safe with him.” Claire noticed that Aidan's face remained blank, but his fists were grasped tightly. She knew once she told the truth that there would be no way of turning back, that this would be the last time that she saw Aidan. The last time that she felt alive. Taking another breath, “He got me drunk that night. We danced and had a great time. I started to feel sick and went out the back door. Soon he was there, he threw me on the ground....” Claire stopped. The memories were playing over and over behind her closed eyes. Aidan rubbed his thumb over Claire's fist as she looked up. “He raped me and then almost beat me to death until I blacked out from pain. When I woke, I was in the hospital.”

  “He took you?”

  “No. He left me to die. 'You deserve to die in the gutter just like your father left my sister,'” Claire mocked the guy's voice. “When I hadn't texted Alyssa within two hours, she got worried and called her father. It was him and his partner that found me.” Claire played with her fingers. “I was in the hospital almost six months, taking my classes online as best as I could. It was when I stopped painting.” Tears flooded her eyes as Aidan brushed them away. “He had crushed both of my hands, broke my legs, all my ribs were broken, and my jaw was wired shut. I wanted to die, but Alyssa was my fighter. She forced me to live and once out of the hospital we were closer than ever.

  “What happened to the guy?”

  “Dead.”

  A
idan was taken back as there was no emotion in that one word at all. Could she have killed him? Taken revenge for something that no revenge could fix? Aidan asked himself.

  The look on Aidan's face made Claire give a small smile.

  “I didn't kill him. Suicide by cop. They were more than happy to oblige him... many of the cops knew me and Alyssa. We used to hide under their desks and play pranks on them. I think many of them saw us as a family to them.” Claire said thinking back. Were they truly a bigger family? Claire hadn't thought about that before, ever.

  “Sheriff Davies was the closest thing that I had to a father in many ways. I was barely ten years old the night that my father was arrested. The Sheriff brought me to his home after cleaning me up. He thought that playing with Alyssa may help. Alyssa was a light in a world that was only darkness. I followed her around that night as she chatted endlessly. We spent the night in a tent that we made under the kitchen table. She didn't care that I didn't talk, she talked enough for both of us. Over the years we became closer than sisters. Her parents adopted me after my father's trial.” Claire stopped she was not going any farther down the road of her past. “When college came, we knew we wanted to room together and if you've read my background you know that I don't have anything in my name. Everything is always kept in her name or purchased through her father to keep me safe.”

  “So, what brought on the memories?” Aidan asked sitting up from the headboard leaning towards Claire.

  “You touched my neck. I did not think that it would affect me and when my eyes were closed... I was back in that alley. Unable to breathe or think.”

  “So, no touching your neck.”

  Claire looked up suddenly. He wasn't leaving. He did not think that I was too broken to be with. Too broken and nasty to touch? Her mind swirled with a million questions as he looked at her.

  “Claire tell me what you're thinking. I can see the shock in your eyes. I swear I am not going to hurt you. I could never hurt someone like that. No means no,” Aidan said as he looked at her.

  “You don't think I'm broken?”

  “We are all broken to some degree.”

  “I mean... I'm not, well I'm not-”

  “Spit it out, Claire.”

  “Nasty, gross, disgusting, untouchable,” she almost shouted.

  “Why would you ever think that?” Anger was clearly in his voice. “Claire something bad happened to you, yes. It has left a mark as most bad things do in our lives. But that one event does not make you who you are. You are beautiful, smart, funny, sarcastic, a pain in the ass,” Claire was about to refute but Aidan's look stopped her, “yes, a pain in the ass, you have not left my thoughts since our kiss in my apartment. You have a love for art and see things like no one else does. How else could you know the artist signs in braille?”

  Claire bit her lip and looked down.

  “What?”

  “Non-disclosure is signed so this is definitely between us. If you repeat this, I'll let Alyssa beat you senseless.” Aidan arched his eyebrow at the threat from the tiny mouse that sat before him, clearly amused at the thought of Alyssa trying to beat him. “I know about the signature because I painted it. By the way, that blue one may not stay in your office. Topher told me that's where you put it.”

  “Oh, and why is that Ms. Henderson?” He asked his voice going a little icy.

  “Because those are the colors I saw when you kissed me. It's too personal for an office setting. What if someone sees it?”

  Aidan's laugh echoed off the walls, clearly amused. “You saw those colors when we kissed, and you don't want anyone else to see the painting.”

  “Actually, I told Alyssa to destroy the painting. I thought that she had but Topher told me, while he was tipsy at the bar, that you bought all of the paintings.”

  “I did buy them all... at least all that she allowed me to see. Something about the artist having a gallery opening soon and she needed to keep some for opening night. I did offer a lot of money.”

  “I don't deal with the money. Alyssa does everything, well she did...”

  “So, she is your assistant and Topher is mine.”

  “No, she's a best friend that protects me. She likes dealing with business and art. She is an art professor after all. I prefer to draw, design, and let my emotions flow on paper when I'm feeling it. I don’t worry about business or people.” Claire smiled as she remembered the sketchbooks that she had filled the past two months since their kiss.

  “That smile is contagious. What are you thinking?”

  “Nothing.” She smiled wider.

  Aidan leaned up and kissed her. “You love to distract me don't you Ms. Henderson.”

  “Distract you from what Mr. Hawkins-Ashby?”

  “Discussing your triggers. I would like for us to try again if you agree.”

  “Really?” Claire asked. Her stomach already tightening at the thought of his fingers, his penis, buried deep inside of her. Dampness returned to her vagina just at the meager thought of him.

  “Say yes.”

  “No touching my throat.”

  “No closing your eyes.” He said as he moved closer. He did not touch her as he kneeled in front of her on the bed. “Say yes.”

  “Yes,” Claire said a bit breathlessly.

  “Pick a safe word. You can say it at any time, and I will stop touching you instantly.”

  “Safe word? Like Sketch or Purple?”

  “Pick One.”

  “Purple.” Claire smiled.

  “Use your word and I will stop immediately, no running. Alright?”

  “Yes, Aidan.”

  “Good.” Aidan closed the gap as he kissed her lips. “Eyes open, Claire.” She opened her eyes as he kissed her again, he tugged up his t-shirt that she was wearing, dropping it off of the bed. Again, she was kneeling in front of him, naked. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, lowering her gently to the bed.

  He lied beside her, still kissing her, as his fingers caressed her body all the way to her center. He ran his fingers softly between her legs. Claire moaned, arching her back, closing her eyes. The moment her eyes were close, Aidan's touch was gone. “Eyes open or I stop.”

  “Yes. Sir.” Claire said with a smile, widening her eyes.

  Soon Aidan's hands were back caressing down the front of her again, starting over. He sat up as the pool of moisture had built up from his touch. He smiled as he sat up, tossing his shirt off.

  It was the first time that Claire had seen him without a shirt. She sat up and ran her hands over the defined abs. He leaned down and kissed her as he unbuttoned his pants. Claire was feeling brave as she looked up to him. Biting the inside of her lip, she ran her hand down feeling the button undone and pulled the zipper down. Soon his pants were on the floor, his boxer briefs were snug with his erection, he smiled allowing Claire to take charge. She ran her fingers over his arousal and pulled his brief down, letting his erection spring from its hold. She gasped as she saw the size. Biting her lip, she ran her fingers gently down his shaft. He reached down and pulled her to her feet. “Eyes open.” He said quietly as he put her back on the bed. He started kissing all the way down, paying special attention to each breast as he moved down, kissing her flat stomach and dipping his tongue into her navel. “Aidan please,” Claire begged as she wiggled on the bed.

  He smiled at her, “spread your legs.” She spread them instantly as he kissed her core, flicking his tongue out in between her folds.

  “Oh.” Claire breathed in surprise. Aidan threw both of her legs over his shoulders, her back off the bed a little as he kissed, licked, and teased every inch of her center. “So wet, so ready,” he whispered as he lowered her. He kissed her as he put his two fingers inside of her quickly, moving in a slow circular rhythm. “Aidan... please.”

  “Please what?”

  “I need you.”

  “You have me.”

  “No,” she hesitated, not completely understanding her feelings but she knew she had to s
ay it. “I need you inside of me.”

  Claire felt like she would rupture inside. “Let go. Come for me Baby Bear,” he whispered into her ear as her orgasm ruptured around his fingers.

  Aidan pulled out his fingers as he ripped open the condom foil with his teeth and rolled it onto his member.

  “Are you sure?” Aidan asked as he moved in between her legs positioning himself above her. The tip of himself teasing the already sensitive part of her core.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Aidan slowly slid the tip of himself inside her. He kept a close look on her face. He did not want to hurt her any more than she already was.

  “Jesus Claire. You're tight.” Seeing no darkness in her eyes, Aidan pushed himself deep into her, knowing it would hurt a little. She gasped as he leaned down and captured her lips with his staying still so she could get used to his size inside of her. “It will stop hurting in a second.”

  “Doesn't hurt. Need you,” Claire said as she pushed her hips up towards him.

  Suddenly, he pulls out and pushes back in slowly. She started to close her eyes.

  “Eyes open.”

  “I'm fine, Aidan.” She leaned up and he captured her lips once more flipping them over, so she was on top. “If your eyes are going to be shut then you on top,” he said huskily. Claire looked down a little unsure. Soon she had found a rhythm as she rode him.

  “Aidan.” She practically begged as her legs tightened around him, her head back and eyes closed. Aidan moved his hands up to rub her as she rode him.

  Soon he flipped her over as he quickened the pace and soon the sounds of moaning and the slapping of their bodies together brought another orgasm from Claire as Aidan pushed himself a little farther and found his own release.