If I Say No (Say Something #2)

by Brandy Jellum

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  COVER

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT PAGE

  DEDICATION

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  MORE FROM BRANDY JELLUM & BOOKTROPE

  IF I SAY NO

  SAY SOMETHING SERIES

  BOOK 2

  BRANDY JELLUM

  Booktrope Editions

  Seattle WA 2014

  Copyright 2014 Brandy Jellum

  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

  Attribution — You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work).

  Noncommercial — You may not use this work for commercial purposes.

  No Derivative Works — You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work.

  Inquiries about additional permissions

  should be directed to: info@booktrope.com

  Cover Design by Shari Ryan

  Edited by Steven Luna

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to similarly named places or to persons living or deceased is unintentional.

  Print ISBN 978-1-62015-479-3

  EPUB ISBN 978-1-62015-489-2

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2014922073

  For my children, the silliest ones I know.

  All that I do, is for you.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  TO BOOKTROPE, AS ALWAYS, for taking a chance on me, and helping me achieve my dreams. I am thankful to be part of such an amazing company/family. I wouldn’t want to work with anyone else. Everyone has been understanding and supportive during a rough transition in my life as we all worked together to bring this book to life. I am truly blessed.

  To my amazing book manager, Samantha, for always been so enthusiastic and dedicated. I wouldn’t be able to achieve anything without you by my side and doing all that you do. You are absolutely amazing, hardworking, and one of the sweetest people I know.

  To my husband, you’ve been a champ. The long hours and work I have put into this book, wouldn’t be possible without you. Thanks for listening to my endless rants and talking plot issues out with me, even though you had no clue to what I was talking about. You still listened with care and love and that means more than anything to me.

  To Cindy, I’m sorry for making you so emotionally distraught, and making you sick while reading the rough draft forms of this book. But your input and thoughts have been extremely valuable. Just as our friendship has been. Though we don’t talk as often as I would like, you’ve been my biggest support, and I can never repay you.

  For all the amazing people who have been there for me this year, thank you. Life has thrown some horrible curveballs towards my family. If it weren’t for you, I never would’ve pull through. It’s a work in progress but each encouraging word, (whether I respond or not), is appreciated and much needed. So thank you again.

  To my street team, although I have all but disappeared on you for a while, you all still continue to support me and spread the word about the Say Something series. You ladies are simply amazing!!!

  And finally, my readers, the most loved ones of all. Many of you have been anticipating this release, and understanding as I work through it, ensuring I bring you the best book I can. I am so happy you all love Liza and Reid as much as you do, and though this book brings their story to an end. You’ll see them again throughout the series. (Don't worry!) I hope you love this book as much as I do. Thank you for all your love, support, and reaching out to me. I wouldn’t be where I am without.

  PROLOGUE

  8 years earlier

  BLACK SMOKE BILLOWS UP into the sky as I pull down the driveway that leads to my brother’s house. The flashes of red and blue I see in the distance force me to press the gas pedal to the floor. I race down the road and curse when my wheel plunges into a pothole and the front end of my car bangs against the ground. I don’t care though and keep speeding forward, careful to avoid as many large holes.

  When I finally pull out of the dense trees, a cloud of black engulfs me. My eyes sting even though my widows are closed. I can hardly see through the dark smoke pouring toward me, and I brake just before I smash into a fire truck. My car is barely in park before I am scrambling out the door. Shouts come from several directions, calling for more water on another side of the house. I walk toward the burning home. It’s completely engulfed in flames. Heat radiates against my skin. My chest tightens, my heart is pounding, and I can barely breathe. Not because of the smoke, but because I am afraid. Afraid the two people I care for most might be trapped inside.

  Fear, worry, and the prospect of asinine heroics overcome me and I sprint toward the house. “Lily!” I scream over the crackle and roar of the flames. “Lily, where are you?” The heat intensifies as I get closer. Red and orange and yellow flames fill the front door, eliminating my way in. I can see the fire hasn’t reached the left side of the house and head that direction. The smoke and heat feel like burning fire in my lungs, but I keep pressing forward. I have to get to her…I have to get to him.

  I reach the side of the house that hasn’t been affected by the flames and see a window big enough for me to squeeze through. I think it’s the dining room window, the opposite side of the house to where I want to be. I try to slide it open.

  “Damn it!” I pull my hands back. There’s no fire over here, but the frame is scorching hot. I have to get in…

  I bend my arm, pull it back, and send my elbow crashing through the glass. The broken shards shred my sleeve and cut through my skin. I ignore the pain and the blood trickling down my arm. I poke my head inside. It feels like I’m in a sauna turned up to five hundred degrees.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” A pair of hands pulls me back, and a man wearing a helmet and the biggest boots I’ve ever seen shoves me to the ground. “Do you have a death wish or something?”

  “I have to get in there!” I push myself off the ground and try to get past the large, older man blocking my way. “My sister in law… there’s a baby…”

  “Once we get the fire under control, I’ll send my men in to search, but until then you have to wait out here.” He looks at me and frowns. “What’s your name, son?”

  “Reid,” My mouth is dry and I swallow the lump in my throat. “Reid Harder.”

  My eyes flick to the house and my stomach churns. By then it could be too late…

  The man places a fi
rm hand on my shoulder and shakes his head.

  “Please don’t make me have to throw you in the back of a cop car. Let us do our job.”

  I’m not one to give up easily but I know a stupid thing when I see it. I nod my head and walk back toward my car. I sit on the hood, watching and waiting for what seems like a lifetime. It takes nearly two hours before the firemen can get the flames to subside. By then, the house is nothing but charred wood. A stiff breeze might take down what was left. If anyone was in there, there is no way they survived.

  Tears sting the corners of my eyes and I wipe them away. Get a grip man…they probably aren’t even in there. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn my head away from the chaos. I try not to think of Lily, the way her golden hair shines under the sunlight, her sweet laugh, and her big, beautiful, blue eyes. The hardest thing to avoid thinking of commandeers every thought in my head: Ollie. ...only seven months old. He’d just started to learn how to crawl. With his father’s dark hair and his mother’s cute dimples and big blue eyes, he was sure to be a heartbreaker when he got older. Thinking Ollie might not have a chance to grow, to learn and to make mistakes, to be the best man I could teach him to be— because let’s face it, my alcoholic, drug-abusing brother wasn’t going to do shit for the boy. It breaks my heart into a million pieces.

  Please, let them be okay…

  My eyes snap open when I hear a shout to the fire crew to head inside and search the rubble. I move closer to the house now, my heart pounding through my chest like rapid-fire bullets from a machine gun. I stop next to the man who kept me from entering the house earlier. He looks over at me, his lips in a straight line, and shakes his head slightly. I watch the flashlight beams bounce around. In the pale moonlight, I can see the man next to me has graying hair, making him older than I had originally thought. He holds a radio in his hand near his head, and I strain, trying to make out what he’s saying.

  “Damn it all to hell,” is all the man says before he storms away without looking back.

  Out the corner of my eye, I see a stretcher being pushed along the burned ground, and all the air escapes my lungs in one breath.

  I stand there, not moving, just watching as the men try to maneuver the stretcher through the burned down house. I close my eyes again when I see them lifting a body onto the stretcher in the distance. I will not watch the scene unfold in front of me. If I don’t watch it, it won’t be real.

  “I’m sorry, man.” The voice belongs to the only person I have interacted with since my arrival. “We found two bodies, one a woman possibly, and one a child.”

  What the hell happened here? I pick up a rock and chuck it across the yard toward my car. The sound of shattering glass echoes across the night sky. I pick up another rock and another and another, throwing them toward my car, screaming, cursing, again and again until I collapse to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Why Lily? Why Ollie? What the hell did they ever do to deserve such a tragic death?

  “I love you…”

  That’s the last thing I say before the world around me falls into a pit of despair.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Present Day

  I’VE BEEN STEELING MYSELF for this day for six months.

  The woman on the witness stand turns her head toward us and smiles. “That bitch deserves a whole lot more than she got, if you ask me.”

  Liza tenses next to me, and I rub my thumb across the top of her hand to remind her I’m right here with her. It’s been a long six months to get where we are. But no matter how long we have been preparing for it, I know that today—the one day out of this whole ordeal—is the day Liza worries about the most. Today is the day we face the psychopath who created her own twisted version of revenge. Today is the day we listen to the woman we now know to be Liza’s sister give her testimony about the events that led us here.

  The pathetic excuse for a defense attorney interrupts the court proceedings. “Your honor?” The judge, a round-faced woman with slightly graying hair, tilts her head down and glares over the top of the thin eyeglasses that rest low on her nose. “I would like to request a recess so I can talk with my client.”

  This is the fourth time today he’s requested a recess.

  “Request denied,” she says sharply. The judge turns her attention to the prosecutor and nods. “Please continue, Ms. Johnson.”

  “But Your Honor, my client is clearly under duress and—”

  “Oh shut up, you idiot!” Heidi, the psychopath, yells from the witness stand. “I am not under duress. I wasn’t ill when this all went down. I was perfectly sane when I committed the crime and I’m admitting my guilt now. So do us all a favor and shut the hell up so I can answer the damn questions.”

  Heidi’s outburst brings a smile to my face. I know it’s wrong to laugh at the scene before me, but she isn’t helping her case. I’m not sure she cares anyway. I know she plead “not guilty” just to drag us through more hell than she’s already put us through.

  The slender, browned-haired prosecutor looks over her shoulder and winks in our direction before walking closer to the stand. The wink tells me all I need to know. This one is in the bag. How can it not be? The evidence and testimonies from me, Liza, and her best friend, Elias, are overwhelming. And there are the police reports and the physical damage Heidi caused. Luckily, the woman to my left, Liza, came out relatively unscathed. She’s clutching my hand as if her life depends on it. There were no lasting physical marks on her anywhere. Her pain is completely psychological, and I know it’s far worse than what Elias and I endured. The crazy strawberry-blonde managed to bust both of Eli’s kneecaps with a baseball bat. He’s had a long road to recovery, but he’s finally walking without crutches.

  I, on the other hand, have a jagged six-inch scar running across my abdomen. Much to Liza’s disappointment, I absolutely love the scar. It’s almost an exact duplicate of Liza’s. Hers happened the night she came home and discovered the man she’d assumed to be her father had murdered her mother before turning on her. To Liza, our scars are painful reminders of everything we’ve been through. To me, they’re reminders of how far we’ve come, what we’ve overcome, and where we’re headed.

  “Ms. Summers…” the prosecutor says to Heidi. “Would you please tell the court about the events that led to your arrest?”

  Heidi laughs, and I cringe at the sound. “Do you want the long version or the short one?”

  “Whichever you please.”

  “Okay, then.” A sinister grin spreads across her face. “I devised a plan to subdue the victims and held them captive at the Lewis residence. When everyone came to, I cut one victim open with a knife, beat another with a baseball bat, and I had every intention to not let anyone leave there alive.” She crosses her arms across her chest. “There you have it—the short version.”

  Liza tightens her hold on my hand again. I look over to see she’s clutching Eli’s hand just as tightly. I clench my jaw and fight back the urge to wipe the shitty grin off his face. He may be Liza’s best friend, but I know he also happens to be in love with her. He basically announced it to the world.

  Eli glances over at me and catches my eye. His smile grows, and I swear he is silently laughing.

  Back off, I think to myself, she’s mine.

  It doesn’t matter how many times Liza tells me, or tells Eli for that matter, that while she loves Eli, she just isn’t in love with him. You would think with our wedding in less than two months that would be reassuring to my ego. But it’s not—especially when the woman I love spends a lot of time with a man who makes no effort to hide his true feelings. It’s definitely not comforting when he’s helping with wedding plans, when I can’t get out of the office to help her myself.

  My job is demanding and I don’t get a lot of free time. My uncle handed over the reins to his literary agency after his seventh divorce. I hope that was his last marriage. Thank God he divorced her, though. Things have been crazy while we’ve all adjusted to the changes being made at the office. The only br
ight spot is I get to see my lovely future wife every day.

  Since Eli confessed his love to Liza, she and I have talked about it a few times. She says I’m worried for no reason. Her heart belongs to me. She knows about Eli’s true feelings. She’s encouraged him to move on and hasn’t tried to do anything that would encourage him to keep up with his endless pursuit. But when you’re a man in love, you’ll stop at nothing to get what you want. I know I didn’t.

  Love is a force of nature.

  Whether you’re out there vigilantly searching for it or staying as far away as possible from the “L” word, it takes you by surprise. I know that’s how it happened for me. It’s like a shit-ton of bricks hitting you so hard you aren’t even sure what’s happening. I never expected to fall in love again. Once was more than enough for me. When you love someone so much, so fiercely, then have it torn from you, it’s a pain you’ve never felt before. A pain you never forget. So when it happened to me, I swore to never fall in love again. I was never going to willingly put myself in another position for heartache. Now, that didn’t mean I swore off women entirely. No, in fact, it had the opposite effect. I couldn’t get enough of women; there was a new one every night, but I kept them all at arm’s length. They knew the deal. One night was all they ever got.

  That was before love decided it had enough of my antics and slapped me in the face once more.

  The moment my eyes fell on Liza, I knew I was a goner. Still am. It’s like I’ve come back to life. Snapped out of whatever coma I was in. I think my heart knew it before I did. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe it. By the time she ended her little rant in my uncle’s office about hating working in the romance department, I had to have more. My body craved her closeness, her touch, the warmth of her breath whispering in my ear. I hummed with a new energy. Just one look at her and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing with love ever is. Behind her outspoken persona, behind her soft green eyes, I saw a shell of what use to be a lively soul.