Willing

by Lucy Monroe

  “Dad?” Josie could barely get the one word out.

  “Apparently, he didn’t make it, Miss McCall. I’m sorry.”

  Josie sagged, and Nitro grabbed her, pulling her against him. Her father had survived an explosion to die in a car accident, an accident he wouldn’t have been in if he’d stayed with her instead of disappearing. And she’d let him walk away, not even suspecting his intention to bolt.

  Bile rose in her throat, and she gagged it back down, her muscles painfully tight with tension.

  “What happened?” Daniel asked.

  Chapter 6

  “There was an explosion at Mr. McCall’s training camp. The subsequent fire destroyed the entire compound.”

  Nitro’s hold on her tightened, and he spoke again. “No one else was hurt in the fire?”

  “The school was on hiatus between sessions. McCall was supposedly staying there alone, but that was something we hoped Miss McCall could verify for us.”

  Josie finally found her voice. “But you said an accident.”

  “Yes. We believe the explosion was accidental. Mr. McCall was known to have explosive materials on hand at all times. It was part of his teaching curriculum. The subsequent fire burned uncontrolled until an anonymous female trucker called it in on her CB radio.”

  They’d assumed she was a trucker. That made sense. She hadn’t identified herself and had called it in on the citizens band radio, which anywhere but Tillamook County, Oregon, would be operated almost exclusively by truckers.

  “And you believe Dad died in the fire?”

  “If you can verify he was at the compound last night, unfortunately I’d have to say yes, Miss McCall. No one could have survived in the fire that followed the explosion. Was your father staying at the compound last night?”

  “Yes,” she replied automatically.

  He nodded, his expression not changing. “I’m sorry.”

  Nitro put his hand out to the patrolman. “Thank you for coming by. I’ll take it from here.”

  The patrolman shook the offered hand. “You’ll be staying with her, Mr…?”

  “Yes.” Typically, Nitro didn’t tell the officer his name. He and her dad really did have a lot in common.

  “A shock like this can have unexpected side effects.”

  “She won’t be alone.”

  “I have a roommate,” Josie offered.

  Taking in Daniel’s proprietary hold on her, the officer nodded. “Can you be reached here if we have any further news or questions for you?”

  “Yes.” She gave the officer her number, which he wrote down on a small pad he kept in his breast pocket.

  “Again, I’m sorry about your father, ma’am.”

  She bit back the urge to tell him the truth. “Thank you.”

  Nitro waited until the patrol car had pulled away from the curb before turning to her. “If your dad’s enemies think he’s dead, they won’t be looking for him.”

  “You’re right, but they’re going to figure it out soon enough when they don’t run across any bone fragments in the ashes. And it feels funny letting them think he’s dead when he’s really MIA.”

  “It would feel a lot less comfortable if it became a reality. The longer we can keep Tyler’s circumstances from whoever is trying to kill him, the better. We don’t know how muddled his thinking or strong his survival instincts are at the moment.”

  “I don’t know. I think Dad could be out of his mind and in a fever and still act on the need to survive. It’s been the driving force of his life for years.”

  “You read the early diaries.”

  “Yes.” Her eyes burned with the same overwhelming sadness she’d felt in reading her dad’s sporadic journal entries. “He witnessed so much brutality.”

  “And he was determined neither you nor your mother would be at risk like the women and children he’d seen hurt in Vietnam.”

  “Mom refused the combat training. They fought about it. He didn’t want her to get pregnant. They fought about that, too.”

  “He wanted you, Josette.”

  “I know. He just didn’t want to bring a child into a world capable of the brutal cruelty he had witnessed.”

  “He changed his mind about being a father.”

  “But he did everything in his power to raise me not to be vulnerable. He protected me the only way he thought he could.”

  “By training you to be a soldier.”

  “Yes. Mom wouldn’t let him really train me while she was alive.”

  “He hated that.”

  “It made him feel helpless, like he’d felt in Vietnam.”

  “Yes.”

  “They had a strong marriage.”

  “Your dad may be paranoid, but he’s not stupid.”

  “No. And he loved my mom.”

  “He loves you, too.”

  “I always knew that, but my life makes a lot more sense now.” Her dad hadn’t trained her to be a soldier because he’d somehow seen her as less feminine than other girls, or because he’d secretly wanted a son instead. He’d done it because he loved her more than his own comfort.

  “You wanted me to read the journals. Thank you.”

  “So did your dad. He told you to read them, remember. You were his priority, even more than finding out who tried to kill him.”

  She’d always known her dad loved her, but after reading the diaries, she realized she’d pretty much been the center of his world since the day her mom had died. She’d shared that spot with her mom before then.

  “You were right about there not being a clue to who destroyed the compound.” She bit her lip in thought, but the same reality she’d faced in her bedroom stared her in the face now. “Unless I’m missing something, I can’t see any reason in those journals for someone to try to kill him.”

  “And burn down the school.”

  “Maybe that was incidental.”

  “I don’t think so. Your dad could have been neutralized with a sniper bullet a lot easier and with less chance of discovery than setting the explosives and fire. Whoever did it wanted the compound destroyed as well.”

  “Then I guess the next place to start looking is the computerized files.”

  “After.

  “After what?”

  “After you let me take you to heaven and then lay you gently back down on earth.”

  The words made her shiver from the tip of her head to her toes. They were incredibly beautiful as well as sensual. “You sure don’t sound like a soldier right now.”

  “I was a Sioux before I was a soldier.”

  “You’re Sioux?”

  “Yes.”

  She reached out and touched his jaw with her fingertip. “You look like a warrior chief to me.”

  “I am not a chief.”

  “That’s good because I’m not exactly an Indian princess.”

  “You are going to be my woman. That’s all that matters.”

  “Will I?”

  “What?”

  “Be your woman?” She’d never considered the possibility he might feel possessive about her while he was trying to rid himself of his obsession for her.

  “Do you want to go from me to another man?” he demanded sounding really irritated by the possibility.

  What a ridiculous idea. “No, but I didn’t know if you saw making love as a one-off deal.”

  “An obsession is not satisfied in one encounter.”

  “How many will satisfy you?” And once he was satisfied, would it be over? Would he walk away from her and go back to his solitary soldier ways?

  “I do not know. Do you need a number?”

  “No.” She’d rather not know D-day. It would only give her something concrete to dread, and she didn’t want anything marring the time she had with him. No matter how short or long it might be. “I don’t need a number.”

  “How soon can you be ready to go?”

  “Where are we going?”

  He named a historic hotel downtown known for its romantic a
mbiance.

  “Why are we going there?”

  “I do not want there to be any distractions when we come together for the first time.”

  “You want to go to a hotel to make love for the first time?”

  “Yes.”

  “But Claire—”

  “You don’t need the distraction of wondering if your roommate can hear the noises you make when I touch you.”

  She forgot what she was going to tell him about Claire for a second. “You think I’m going to make noise?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  She shivered deep inside again. “Enough noise that I’m going to be worried about Claire hearing in the other room?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good noise or bad noise?” The first time was supposed to hurt.

  He reached out and brushed his fingers across her lips, making them tingle. “Good.”

  That sounded promising. She licked her lips, tasting his subtle presence on them.

  “So, how soon can you be ready to go?” he asked again.

  Then she remembered what she was going to tell him about Claire. “We don’t have to go anywhere.”

  “Are you having second thoughts?”

  “No. The thing is, Claire works nights at a nursing home twice a week. This is one of them. She probably won’t even come home between classes and going to work.”

  He shrugged as if that information made no difference. “A woman’s first time should be special.”

  She felt her expression going all gooey, and she couldn’t do a thing to hide it. “That’s really sweet, Nitro.”

  “Daniel. I am not just another mercenary to you. After tonight, I will be your man.” He sounded really serious about this, and she finally caught on to the fact that what she called him was of major importance to him.

  “I can be ready to go in twenty minutes…Daniel.”

  He smiled his approval at her, and she got all warm and happy inside. “After we make love, I will tell you my true name.”

  “Your true name?”

  “The one I was given by the Sioux.”

  “Then will you expect me to call you that?” she asked, thinking maybe this whole name thing could be taken a little too far.

  “My name to you is Daniel.”

  “But you want me to know your true name.” She was trying to understand and not getting very far.

  “After we have shared our bodies, yes.”

  “Do all the women you’ve made love to know your true name?”

  “Only two other living people know it, and neither of them are women.”

  Well, that was something. Maybe being an obsession was more important than a casual bed partner.

  Later, Josie’s heart fluttered in her chest as Daniel unlocked the door to their hotel room. Facing armed guerillas was not as intimidating as the unknown beyond that door.

  She’d known soldiering her whole life, but the man/ woman thing, seems it was all a complete mystery to her. Other women had started heavy petting when she’d been busy learning how to build and dismantle car bombs. The only orgasms she’d known had been of the self-made variety, and while they made pretty good battle tension relievers, they weren’t anything to get excited about.

  Not like the way she felt when Daniel kissed her.

  Which was why she was here, ready to make love for the first time to a man who until that very morning, she’d been convinced didn’t even like her.

  He’d acted as though he liked her in the park. He’d played with her, and she had a feeling their tussling had been as new an experience for him as it had been for her, but the desire they felt was not.

  He knew so much more about this than she did.

  “My dad wouldn’t have taken you on as a partner if you weren’t a pretty good teacher, would he?”

  Daniel turned his head to look at her, his hand on the doorknob. “What?”

  “Your method of teaching isn’t tossing someone into a river and seeing if they learn to swim before they drown, is it?” Her voice was high-pitched, and her breathing had turned ragged at the edges.

  He winked, shocking her to her toenails. “Don’t worry, Josette. I won’t let you drown.”

  She swallowed and tried to believe him. He pushed the heavy, ornate wooden door open and indicated she should go in first, but her legs refused to cooperate.

  His dark eyes narrowed. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, but I can’t seem to get my feet to move.”

  “You’re nervous.”

  What had been his first clue? The way she equated making love for the first time with death by drowning, or the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look she knew was in her eyes? “I shouldn’t be. I’m not a child.”

  “But you are innocent.”

  “Only physically.” She’d heard and seen things women married for forty years would never experience.

  He shook his head, his mouth twitching at the corners. “Your heart and your mind are very innocent still, no matter what you think you know.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes.”

  That sparked another set of worries that kept her feet firmly glued to the floor outside their room. “Won’t you be bored making love to me, seeing as how I don’t know anything?”

  “Josette, I could spend the entire night just looking at you and not get bored.” His tone wasn’t reassuring so much as bewildered.

  Which was actually pretty comforting. Later, she would probably feel flattered and special, but right now, she just felt relief. At least something about this was new for him, too. “I take it you’ve never been that way with a woman?”

  “No.” And if the frown on his face meant anything, he didn’t like it.

  “It’s a first for both of us.” She couldn’t help the satisfaction that laced her voice.

  He let out an impatient breath. “It’s not going to be anything if we don’t get out of the hall.”

  She sighed and looked into the room. It was a suite. She could see the bedroom through the sumptuously decorated sitting room. It was like a room out of time, the colors and décor something from a bygone era.

  “It’s a pretty room,” she said without moving.

  “Not as pretty as the woman I’m bringing into it.” Before she knew it, the decision was being taken from her as he swept her up in his arms and carried her inside.

  “This isn’t our wedding night,” she said breathlessly.

  “I know that.”

  “But you just carried me over the threshold.”

  “It was the expedient thing to do.”

  Perhaps, but she liked the sensations zinging through her body as a result of being held securely in his strong arms. She looped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the warmth of his chest. He smelled so different than she did, but it was a good different. Masculine.

  Maybe she wasn’t as lacking in the feminine department as she thought she was. At least she now realized she smelled like a woman, not a man. She should have caught on to that sooner, as much time as she spent around male soldiers, but she couldn’t ever remember actually smelling one before.

  He carried her through the sitting room to the bedroom beyond, and her breath caught in her throat.

  Did he want to make love right now, just like that?

  Of course he did. She was his obsession. It wasn’t the romance of the century or anything schmaltzy like that.

  Then another scent, one very different from Daniel, invaded her senses. Roses.

  She lifted her head from his chest and looked around them.

  The room was filled with flowers—red roses, white roses, yellow roses and even lavender roses. They were everywhere. Swags of dried orange blossoms hung off the ornate head and footboard of the antique bed, too, but the thing that caught her attention and kept it was a white silk gown spread over the burgundy velvet bedspread.

  “Daniel?”

  He looked down at her, the hardened mercenary she knew him to be not quite hiding
the man who cared enough to make this night special. “It’s your first time. I want you to remember it for all the right reasons.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she couldn’t get a sound out past the big lump in her throat.

  He let her down and stepped back, seemingly unconcerned by her display of emotion.

  “I’m going to take a walk. I’ll be back in a while. The bathroom is through there.” He pointed to a door on the opposite side of the room. “Take your time getting ready. I’m not going to rush you tonight, in any way.”

  She was still shivering from the promise in that last comment when the outer door closed.

  When Daniel came back to the room a half an hour later, the door to the bedroom was still shut.

  How much longer would she be?

  He’d promised not to rush her, but he wanted her with a hunger that left him feeling hollow and achy inside. Calling his need for her an obsession had been pure fact. If she had turned him down, he would have been on a collision course with spontaneous combustion.

  The closed door mocked his promise of patience. He wanted to pound on it and demand to know how long it took to put on a nightgown, but he had just enough self-control left to keep him seated on the oversized Victorian sofa.

  This was too important to mess up with impatience, even if it was born of desperation.

  She’d waited twenty-six years to share her body with a man. After their talk in the park, he understood that better, but still found it difficult to believe a woman as sexy and beautiful as she was could have remained innocent so long.

  If Daniel had been one of the soldiers going through Tyler McCall’s training camp, Josie would have gotten educated about men and their desires a lot earlier. He would never have allowed the older man’s threats-slash-promises to deter him from pursuing a woman he wanted as much as he wanted Josie.

  The handle turned on the door to the bedroom, and he surged up from the sofa. The door swung inward, and she came out, the sheer white silk gown clinging lovingly to her small curves.

  His breath caught, and he had to clear his throat to talk. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you for the gown. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever worn.”

  The exclusive boutique owner he had called earlier had followed his directions to a T. The nightgown was designed along the lines of a medieval dress. Its bell-shaped long sleeves floated gently around Josie’s slender arms, and the skirt whispered against the smooth skin of her legs. The high waist tucked in just below her breasts, accentuating them.