Willing

by Lucy Monroe

  “I’d love your help, but I don’t want you missing classes on my account.” Josie sighed, remorse eating at her insides. “I feel guilty enough that you lost so much just by having the bad luck to be my roommate.”

  “Don’t say that,” Claire replied, her eyes and voice filled with distress. “None of this is your fault.”

  “If I’d kept a better eye on Dad, he could help us identify his attackers a lot more easily and might even have known they’d want the computer files, too. We could have been here waiting for the thieves.”

  Hotwire reached out and squeezed her hand. “Not even you could keep your dad from bolting if that was what he wanted to do. He’s too good a soldier, and if you’d been here, the perps wouldn’t have tried last night, and you wouldn’t be sure today that the bombing was linked to the school’s files.”

  “Thanks.” But she still felt badly.

  She couldn’t help it. Her dad was at risk, and she felt as though she’d let him down in some way.

  “After what happened last night, I’d prefer to bunk on your floor out here rather than hit a hotel.” Hotwire had already brought in his duffel bag.

  Daniel could have told Josie she’d lost the argument before it began, but he let her go through the spiel about how Hotwire would be more comfortable in a bed and there was no need for him to stay at the house.

  He gave Daniel a meaningful glance. “If Nitro can survive sleeping on the floor, so can I.”

  After the way Josie had acted earlier, Daniel figured that was exactly where he was going to end up sleeping. He didn’t know if she was regretting giving herself to him, but she sure as hell didn’t want Hotwire to know about it. As much as her denial of him irked Daniel, a woman had a right to choose who she took into her bed.

  If she didn’t want him there after last night, he didn’t figure any male posturing on his part was going to accomplish anything more than embarrassing her and increasing his own temper. He had no intention of risking either outcome, so he remained silent.

  “Daniel isn’t sleeping on the floor.” Josie bit her lip and then looked up at him. “At least I don’t think he is.”

  Stunned by her volte-face from earlier, he tried to figure out if she was saying what he thought she was saying before he responded.

  “Where’s he sleeping?” Hotwire asked, his Georgia drawl pronounced. “He’s not kicking you out of your bed, is he, Josie?”

  She swallowed and shook her head, her gaze not leaving Daniel. “No. He’s sleeping with me.”

  Looking vulnerable and uncertain, her eyes asked him if she’d spoken the truth.

  He reached out and cupped her nape, pulling her into him like he’d done earlier, but this time she relaxed against his side. She smiled up at him, her expression filled with relief, and he wondered if he would ever understand how the female mind worked.

  He caressed her neck with his thumb. “Hotwire’s not sharing our bed. It isn’t big enough.”

  “I wasn’t suggesting he should, but there’s no reason for him to stay here when it means sleeping on the floor.”

  “I’m a lot shorter than you,” Claire said from the hallway, looking at Hotwire. “I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can have my bed. It’s only a single, but it’s longer than the sofa.”

  “My mama would string me up by my toes if I booted a lady out of her bed for my own comfort.”

  “But—”

  “He’s slept in much worse places, Claire. Don’t worry about him.” He looked down at Josie. “And don’t try convincing him to leave. He’s about as stubborn as a Missouri mule.”

  “So have I,” Claire said earnestly. “I mean, slept in worse places. Really, sleeping out here would be no problem.”

  But just like Daniel had known he would, his friend refused to be budged, and after they did an external reconnaissance of the property and surrounding area, Hotwire got comfortable in a sleeping bag on the floor.

  Josie’s bedroom door opened, and a tattoo of anticipation started playing in her chest. She hadn’t been entirely certain he would come, even after what he’d said. She’d hurt him when she hadn’t openly acknowledged the closeness in their relationship, and she’d realized it too late to change anything.

  She wasn’t used to this kind of thing, and Daniel’s blatant possessiveness in front of their friend had thrown her thoughts and reactions into a confusing morass before she’d finally gotten herself straightened out sometime during dinner. She wanted to be his lover for as long as possible, and if that meant other people knowing about them, then she’d take out an ad in the Oregonian.

  He came into the room, shutting the door behind him, and leaned back against it, looking dark and dangerous. “Do you want Hotwire?”

  If he’d thought about it for an hour, he couldn’t have found a more shocking question to ask her. Stunned into silence, she opened her lips, but couldn’t make her mouth form an answer.

  Finally, she asked, “What?” wondering if she’d misheard him. Hoping she had.

  He stalked over to the bed, his expression giving no clue as to what was going on inside his head. “Do you want him?”

  “No. How can you of all people ask me that?”

  “You hugged him.”

  What was he talking about? “When?”

  “When he got here.”

  “He’s my friend. I was saying hi.”

  “You smiled like you were really glad to see him.”

  “I was.”

  Daniel’s glare could have melted metal.

  “Why is that a problem? You invited him here.”

  “I did not. He said he wanted to help, and I told him he could.”

  “What difference does it make?” This conversation was not how she’d anticipated spending their time alone together. “He’s our friend. He’s got skills neither of us has, and he wants to help. That’s a good thing.”

  “You weren’t glad to see me. When I told you I was going to help you, you argued with me, but as soon as you found out Hotwire wanted to take part in the mission, you got all happy.”

  And that really bothered Daniel, she realized belatedly. “You’ve been weird all day, ever since you told us Hotwire was coming. Are you jealous?”

  As unlikely as she found the prospect, she couldn’t think of another reason for Daniel’s attitude.

  “Do I have a reason to be?” he asked rather than denying it.

  “You must know you don’t.” She’d been a virgin, for crying out loud. He had to realize she wanted him in a way she’d never wanted another man.

  “All I know is you’re glad to have him around, but you tried to get me to go away.”

  “It’s different with him; it always has been.” She’d never felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room when Hotwire walked into it.

  Daniel, on the other hand, had the impact of a fully armed tank engaged in battle on every one of her senses.

  “Apparently.”

  “Daniel, until yesterday, I thought you didn’t like me,” she said with exasperation. “Hotwire’s been my friend since the first mission we had together.”

  “I didn’t dislike you dam—darn it. I wanted you, and I thought you didn’t want me. My disposition suffered because of it, but I liked you—more than I wanted to.”

  “I know that now.” Well, she’d known he wanted her, but she hadn’t realized he really liked her. It was a nice thing to know about a man she planned to take into her body as soon as this strange discussion was over. “But before, I thought you couldn’t stand the sight of me. You’ve got to see the difference between that and how it was with Hotwire. He didn’t…I mean, doesn’t threaten me.”

  Daniel swelled with outrage. “I’ve never threatened you.”

  “Not overtly, but the feelings I have for you threaten my peace of mind and my equilibrium. Thinking you didn’t like me made it almost unbearable to be around you. You should understand that. You basically felt the same way about me because you thought I didn
’t want you. Our mutual discomfort just showed itself in different ways.”

  As she said the words, she realized how true they were, and a lot of the insecurity she felt about Daniel and his reactions to her dissipated.

  However, he didn’t reply, or get into the bed, or do anything to relieve the tension arcing between them.

  She tossed around in her mind for something else to say, something that would decrease his insecurity like hers had just been. “Will it help if I promise to hug you every time I see you after an absence, too?”

  “I’m your lover. Hotwire is only your friend. I want more than a hug.”

  “I’ll kiss you, too, okay?”

  “It’s going to be distracting, but okay.”

  Were men always this illogical about relationships? “If you don’t want to be distracted, all you have to do is say so,” she replied, aggravated.

  “I didn’t say that.” Then he short-circuited her ability to respond by peeling off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants. “I like being distracted by you.”

  “I’m glad.” She was also glad they were done with a conversation she found nonsensical at best and totally incomprehensible at worst.

  He unzipped his pants, revealing a bulge that showed their talking hadn’t inhibited his sex drive at all. His almost black eyes spoke messages her inner woman could not misinterpret or ignore. “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay at the hotel longer.”

  Her thighs clenched, and she let her gaze slide from him to her once unadorned bedroom. “I don’t know. The ambiance in here is pretty nice.”

  He’d brought the flowers from the hotel back with them. At some point that day, he’d taken the time to put all of them but a bouquet he left on the dining room table in her bedroom. The roses had transformed her bare sleeping quarters into a secret garden. “Thank you for bringing the flowers.”

  He shrugged. “It seemed a shame to waste them.”

  “Yes.” But she would have been too self-conscious to ask to keep them. Sentimentality had little place in the life of a soldier, and old habits were hard to break.

  Daniel pushed his pants down his hips, along with his jockey shorts, and her thought process scrambled again. Smooth, dark skin over well-honed muscles made her breath catch in her throat, but even his magnificent physique was overshadowed by the sheer presence and male beauty of the hard flesh jutting out from his body.

  “You’re gorgeous.”

  “That’s my line.”

  Her eyes reluctantly traveled up his body to his face at the humor in his voice. Despite the smile lingering at the edges of his lips, his look seared her.

  She opened her mouth to speak, and nothing came out. She swallowed and tried again. “It’s not a line.”

  “No. It’s not.” He stood, proud and unembarrassed by his nakedness. “Invite me into your bed, Josette.”

  “I thought I did that earlier,” she said, her voice hoarse with the effect his nakedness was having on her.

  He didn’t reply, but stood there waiting in silence.

  Apparently he wanted something more than tacit agreement, or a statement of intent. “Is an invitation so important?”

  “Yes. This is your bed. Accepting my presence is not the same as welcoming it.”

  She wanted to know why the distinction was so important to him, but was not prepared to have another drawn-out discussion. She would ask him later.

  Flipping back the covers, she revealed the almost there, sheer pink panties and short stretchy tank top she’d put on for bed. She didn’t own sexy nightwear, other than the gown he had given her, but had started buying more feminine underwear some time ago…right about the time she met Daniel.

  His dark brown gaze showed no disappointment in her lack of a proper negligee.

  “Come to my bed, Daniel. I want you.”

  His nostrils flared, his jaw locking into granitelike firmness, and he came over her in a silent rush that left her tumbled back against the pillows.

  “Do you want to feed your obsession some more?” she asked breathlessly.

  He shook his head as though her words bothered him. “I want to make love with a very sexy woman, with my woman.”

  She cupped his face and drew his head down until their lips were almost touching. “Make love with me, Daniel. Make me feel like a sexy woman, like your woman.”

  He made her feel like living fire. Taking what little clothes she wore off of her with a lot more urgency than he had shed his, his mouth devoured what his hands had uncovered, sending flames licking through her feminine core. As she arched under his lips and exploring hands, desire to consume him with the same blazing inferno inside her pierced her being.

  She wanted him to feel everything she was experiencing, everything! The fundamental desire to be with a man created to be the other half of her. The agonizing emotion she had never expected to experience. The clawing need for completion that came from the sharing of spirit as well as flesh.

  She needed him to feel it all.

  Flipping out from under him, she pushed him onto his back, and he let her, his eyes black with need she would never again mistake for anger. She straddled him, shuddering when her labia kissed his erection. It was so profoundly intimate, she wanted to engrave the sensation on her mind for all of eternity.

  His big body went rigid, and she smiled, loving this evidence of her effect on him. Licking her lips in needy anticipation, she gave in to the uncontrollable desire to lift her pelvis slightly, only to come back down and kiss his hard sex again with her highly lubricated flesh.

  “Don’t do that,” he said harshly.

  “What? This…” And she moved her pelvis once more.

  He groaned and arched up to meet her hungry femininity. “Don’t lick your lips.”

  Didn’t he know that after saying that, she had no choice but to do it again?

  “Why not?” she asked before slowly running her tongue along first her upper and then lower lip.

  He watched her as if his gaze were welded to her mouth. “It makes me crazy.”

  She rocked so her swelling flesh caressed the entire length of his velvety hardness. “I like making you crazy.” Then she bent forward and kissed him all over his smooth, rock-hard chest, nipping him below one nipple with her teeth.

  “Josette.”

  “I have absolutely no desire to do this to Hotwire.”

  “Good,” he growled.

  “This either.” And she circled his nipple with her tongue until it was as hard as the rest of him and then sucked on it while he pulled in air like a man put on oxygen to survive.

  After several seconds of the sensual torment, he grabbed her head and tugged her face up to his. She kissed him with hot, open-mouthed intensity that he returned with aggressive passion. His hands moved down her spine and over her backside until one finger slipped into the intimate crevice at the apex of her thighs.

  She wriggled against the teasing finger, aching already for a more solid possession.

  Moaning, she rubbed her clitoris against his sex in an effort to assuage the growing ache in her lower body. It wasn’t enough, but heat pooled in her womb while her inner muscles clenched, telling her climax was imminent. She wasn’t ready for the intimacy and touching to end. She wanted to come with him fully imbedded inside her, their flesh joined as deeply as possible. Only, she couldn’t stop her body’s movement, and she moved closer and closer to losing all control.

  Whimpering, she tilted her pelvis and lifted her hips without thought until his hardness was poised at the entrance to where she most wanted him to be. Fingers like vises locked around her waist and stopped her from taking him fully inside.

  Chapter 11

  Her mouth broke from his, a protesting moan of anguish erupting from the very heart of her.

  “Not yet, sweetheart.”

  She looked down at him, her vision blurred by passion, but even so, she could see the harsh cast to his features so at odds with the tenderness in his voice.

 
“Why not?”

  He grabbed something from under the pillow, keeping her still with his other hand as she tried to move downward again. When she saw what he was holding, frustration for the need to delay roared through her.

  “I’m going on the pill,” she muttered from between gritted teeth.

  His slashing smile touched her like a caress. “Fine, but tonight, we don’t have any choice.”

  And no way did he want her getting pregnant. She scooted backward, making room for him to don the condom, but chilled by the reality of what it symbolized. The transitory nature of their relationship and Daniel’s absolute certainty he did not want a child with her.

  Of course safe sex wasn’t all about pregnancy, but she knew deep in her soul that Daniel would never have made love with her if he was putting her at risk. Since she’d never been with anyone else, he couldn’t be worried about what she might expose him to either. This was about keeping the intimacy between them physical and allowing no consequences to come from it.

  No result but a heart she already felt cracking under the knowledge he would walk out of her life the same way he had walked into it. Alone.

  Daniel held the dark blue foil packet up. “Do you want to put it on?”

  Without meaning to, she physically recoiled from the question, her thoughts too close to the surface to ignore.

  His brows drew together. “Josie, is something wrong?”

  Did she really want to ruin what time she did have with him, entertaining ultradepressing musings about how much it was going to hurt when their relationship ended? No, of course not. That would be stupid.

  And she wasn’t dumb.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said with what she hoped was reassuring brightness, and then she winked at him. “But I don’t think it will fit.”

  His eyes narrowed and then glittered in understanding, and that incredible smile flashed again. “I didn’t mean on you, little warrior.”

  She eyed his erection with blatant skepticism. “I didn’t either.”

  He stared at her and then burst out laughing. She grinned in response and then remembering how successful the ploy had been in the park, tickled him. She loved the joyous sound coming from him. It made her feel special, because she knew that he hardly ever gave in to it with other people.