Give Me Strength

by Kate McCarthy

  I moaned into his mouth, my body throbbing when they eventually slipped underneath the lace, teasing me playfully where I ached for him.

  When those fingers inched inside of me, he groaned into my neck, letting out a shuddering breath as I moaned his name.

  A loud rap at the door registered through the fog, and Travis cursed loudly.

  “Umm, sorry, guys,” Casey called through the door, “but Travis, it’s the phone, mate. It’s one of your work assignments.”

  Travis leaned his forehead against mine, his hands retreating reluctantly. “Quinn,” he breathed against my lips. “Dammit. I can never get enough of you.”

  I watched my fingers trail down the side of his face while he watched me.

  I love you.

  Travis couldn’t drag his eyes from mine. Could he see the love there?

  I closed them. “Hurry back.”

  “Don’t leave.”

  I opened them. “I won’t leave.”

  He nodded once, relief softening his features and relaxing his shoulders. David had been released three days ago, but while Travis was worried about my safety, I was worried about his.

  “Good. I don’t want you going anywhere at all without me or Casey. No one else, okay?”

  “Travis. I can’t do that forever.”

  I had a job, bills to pay, a dog to walk. I couldn’t have a permanent bodyguard.

  “It’s just for now. Trust me. He’s caught up in the kind of shit that will see him going back in for a very long time.”

  “What shit?”

  He pushed up off me but not before I caught the pained expression on his face. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay?” He picked up his jeans off the floor and pulled them on. A dark grey henley was dragged over his head, and he yanked it down, tucking his wallet and phone into the back pocket of his jeans. He paused. “Okay?”

  I frowned and sat up. “Okay.”

  Travis leaned in and kissed me. “I want you naked so that when I get back so I can slide into bed and into you.”

  “Travis!” I called out when he reached the door and opened it. He looked over his shoulder. “Be safe.”

  He nodded and left.

  With Casey promising not to bite, I slid on a pair of sleep shorts and joined him on the couch with a wine to watch the rest of the movie.

  My head was tilted back, my eyes half closed when the credits started to roll. Casey turned a sleepy head towards me. “You ‘kay?”

  “Mmm,” I mumbled. “That movie was shit.”

  A smile spread slowly across his face and he chuckled softly. “Wanna watch another one?”

  Casey looked tired but reluctant to go to bed. Missing Travis, I felt that way myself, so I agreed. Stumbling towards the kitchen, I opened the fridge, feeling generous in letting him choose the next movie.

  “Tea, coffee, beer?” I called out. With no answer I spun around and found him returning from his room in just a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. I averted my eyes back to the fridge.

  “Beer me, Quinn.” The words were close enough to my ear that I shrieked a little and jerked back. My elbow struck his bare chest and I leaped forward.

  “Oh God, sorry.”

  Casey didn’t even budge. “My fault.”

  He took a step back, and I rummaged in the shelf and grabbed a Corona.

  “Here,” I mumbled, holding it out behind me. He took it from my grasp and I grabbed the wine bottle.

  He sat his beer on the kitchen bench and took the bottle from my hands too. “Let me pour it for you.”

  I yawned sleepily, scratching at my head as Casey poured me a glass and slipped the bottle back in the fridge.

  We both wandered back to the couch and sagged into the soft leather. My mind on Travis, I glanced at Casey, his beer in one hand, remote in the other. “This job Travis got called out to. He’s not in any danger, is he?”

  Casey took a pull of his beer and exhaled loudly. “Nah. Just another sorry custody dispute. We get called in when it gets out of hand. You know you’d think it’s good—both parents loving the kid so much they can’t agree who gets to spend more time with them—but that’s hardly ever what it’s about.”

  “What is it about?” I asked softly.

  “Winning. But for there to be a winner, there’s got to be a loser, right? And we all know who that turns out to be.” He pressed play on the movie as if to finish the conversation.

  “Is that what happened with you? Travis says he does what he does because of you.”

  Casey chuckled but it wasn’t a happy sound. “Travis and I have been friends since we started uni, so I know how you feel around the Valentines, Quinn. They’ll all be quick to tell you they’re not the perfect family, and they aren’t. But they’re not perfect in the way that it counts.”

  “What way is that?”

  “Love of course.” He shook his head. “They grew up with it. People like you and me, Quinn, we grew up with fear. Learning to love is work for us because we don’t understand or trust it. We don’t accept it so easily.” He paused. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you in Melbourne.”

  “Casey—”

  “But if there’s a next time, you get straight on your phone and ring Travis. If you can’t get Travis, you ring me. You can’t get me, you ring Jared, you can’t get—”

  “Casey.” I held up a hand. “I’ve had this chat with Travis already. And Mitch. And Jared,” I added. And even Evie’s brother, Coby, who I didn’t know all that well, not that he seemed bothered by that from the way he weighed in with his own chat.

  “I know, but now it’s my turn and this won’t take long.”

  I nodded and my stomach flipped over when his blue eyes got a little fierce. I gulped down the last of my wine and set the empty glass on the coffee table.

  “I know what Travis was like before you, and I know what he’s like since you, and I like the latter.” Casey’s voice was firm as his eyes held mine. “He smiles like he means it, even after a long shitty day like he’s dealing with today.” Casey tapped a finger to his temple. “Up here, there’s you at the back of all that, making his day not so shit because at the end of it, he gets you. You leave, he loses that and we lose him, and I don’t like that. I already feel guilty enough getting him involved in what he does, but it doesn’t come as easy for him to deal with because he hasn’t lived it. So you understand me when I say don’t ever think about leaving again.”

  I felt the wind go out of me, like his words were a verbal punch to the gut. The very idea it was me who had the ability to cancel out a shitty day for Travis made the argument for trying that much more compelling.

  I nodded towards the television. “We’re missing the movie.”

  His lips curled upwards and he saluted me with his beer.

  We both turned towards the television and watched The Fast and the Furious play out on the screen.

  “Paul Walker’s hot,” I blurted out. “He reminds me of Henry.”

  “So you think Henry’s hot?”

  “Well I’m not blind,” I mumbled under my breath.

  Casey smirked, his eyes telling me he heard my words.

  “Oh shush,” I muttered and slapped his shoulder.

  His eyes sobered. “I like having you here, Quinn.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I had a brother but I never had a sister.”

  Warmth flooded through me because when I was young, I would lay in my bed at night and pray to God to send me a brother—a big one, with lots of muscle that would strike fear in my stepfather’s eyes just by looking at him. The older I got, the more I began to realise that prayers weren’t going to get me anywhere. Drifting back to the present, my mind wrapped itself around Casey’s words and my heart stuttered. “Wait. You had a brother?”

  He nodded towards the television. “We’re missing the movie.”

  Screw the movie and talk to me, I wanted to say, but sharing was never easy and Casey looked
tired. Instead, I reached out and took his hand in mine. He glanced over at me and gave it a squeeze. I wasn’t reassured because at the end of a shitty day, who did Casey have?

  ***

  Sufficiently pruned from a long glorious shower, I hopped out with a blissful sigh and towelled myself off. The luxury of bathroom hogging didn’t exist at the duplex, and after living on my own for so long, it had been a shocking adjustment. Henry lived in the shower. He was a no-holds-barred-I-don’t-care-if-you’re-a-girl-I’m-gonna-knock-you-down-to-get-to-the-shower-first. Mac spent hours taking long, hot baths to relieve the daily stress that was her life. Here at the loft the bathroom was my oyster, and I took full advantage.

  I slipped on a robe and trailed steam on my exit. Casey was on the computer in the study nook by the dining table, and Travis was out dealing with the job that took his attention last night. He’d slipped in during the night, his weight depressing the bed and his warm hands sliding up my bare legs. When his mouth found its way between my thighs I woke slowly drowning in pleasure. His touch had been different to his usual relentless intensity. It had been slow and loving, and he held me close after, my face pressed against his neck until I fell asleep.

  “I won’t be long,” I yelled at Casey in my rush back to the bedroom.

  “Take your time,” he called back.

  That was good because I needed to get ready for Evie’s birthday party, and when I said I wouldn’t be long, I lied. In my defence I didn’t really know any woman who said they would only be a minute and actually followed through.

  An hour later I finally emerged from the bedroom in a long, backless dress in deep rose. My hair was pinned at the nape of my neck and glittery chandelier earrings adorned my ears.

  When Casey emerged after showering and ready to walk out the door in five simple minutes and looking like a GQ model, I thought it was a little unfair.

  “Don’t blame me,” Casey said, tucking in his wallet and picking up keys when I complained. “You women are the ones who insist on…” He turned around and trailed off.

  “Insist on what?” I asked, picking up my clutch, colour-coded folder, iPad, and bag of last minute party supplies.

  “Well I was gonna say insist on torturing yourselves with all those hair devices and whatever, but maybe it’s more a case of torturing us.”

  His eyes trailed down the excessive amount of skin on display where the back of my dress cut low. I was nervous about how daring it was, but I knew Travis would like it.

  My phone rang so I put down my folder, iPad, and bag and rummaged through my clutch for the phone. Clutches were really devil bags in disguise. Everything was so jam-packed inside it I couldn’t get to my phone.

  By the time I yanked it out, it stopped ringing. A second later, Casey’s phone rang. He handed it to me wordlessly. I looked at him and then at the phone.

  “You better answer it,” he warned.

  I grabbed it from his outstretched hand.

  “Hello?”

  “Quinn. Next time answer your damn phone,” Travis said irritably.

  “I beg your pardon?” I said, giving him time to think about what he just said and consider revising it.

  “Your phone. Answer it,” he repeated.

  It was tempting to hang up on him in the interests of throwing that rudeness back in his face. “You know when you speak to me like that it makes me not want to answer it in the future.”

  “Quinn—”

  “I’ve spent all day holed up in your godforsaken loft…” It wasn’t really godforsaken. I actually loved being there, and I had made a minor escape to go shopping with Casey for my dress, but he didn’t need to know that. “…trying to deal with the final preparations for Evie’s party from afar, and I haven’t heard from you once. The minute we make a move for the door and I have an armload full of crap is the moment you ring.”

  “Quinn—”

  “No, Travis. The past three weeks I’ve been doing everything you asked. Is this how it’s going to be? Because Casey’s taking me to this party and when it’s over, he can take me home.”

  Casey raised a brow.

  “Drop me off,” I added. “At home. My home.”

  Silence.

  I cleared my throat, wondering if Travis was still on the line.

  “I was worried about you,” Travis said softly.

  I flinched because the sweet words had more of an impact than his angry ones.

  “Every second your phone rings and you don’t answer, I imagine all sorts of scenarios. None of them good. I saw the evidence of what David is capable of, and with shit going on right now, I need to know I can get hold of you and that you’re safe. I’m sorry I can’t take you to the party. I’d rather be with you than stuck here.”

  “Where’s here?”

  “At the office. Just winding up a few small things and I’ll be done. I’ll duck home for a shower and meet you there, then you’re coming home with me,” he added firmly.

  “Okay,” I replied, surprised at the ease of my agreement.

  It’s because you’re happy, Quinn.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn’t happy, but I was almost happy. So much so I could taste it on the tip of my tongue.

  “So…you’re all dressed and ready to go, huh?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “What are you wearing?” His voice turned husky.

  “A long silk dress.”

  “Yeah?” he murmured. “What colour is it, sweetheart?”

  “It’s deep rose. And backless,” I added.

  “So I get to see every inch of your creamy skin all the way to your ass?” Travis exhaled loudly. “I’m imagining tracing every inch of it right now with my tongue.”

  I moaned. “Trav—”

  The phone was snatched from my hand by an annoyed looking Casey.

  “Travis,” he spoke into the phone impatiently. “We’re on our way out the door, unless you want me to take over with Quinn where you just left off?”

  I laughed and fiddled with the strap of my clutch as I heard him end the conversation.

  Soon after, we arrived at the Florence Bar, and Carol and I delved into final preparations with Casey glued to my side.

  “Wow, look at you, Quinn, you belong at the Oscars!” I turned from talking to Vince at the bar to see Mac bearing down in her usual fashion.

  Dressed in a shimmery floor length gold number, she said hello to Casey and Vince before sweeping her gaze around the private function area.

  “Vintage glamour. How did you manage this without me knowing?”

  I snorted. “I can be sneaky.” She raised a brow, obviously remembering the suitcase incident. “Sometimes,” I added. “But Evie almost caught Jared and I talking about it. Don’t ask, but Evie now thinks the upcoming Jettison Records party is fancy dress.”

  Mac shouted with laughter. “Oh this is too good!”

  She called Henry over and when he got close she told him, and then they were both standing there gasping for air.

  “You’re gonna help her pick her costume out, right, Mac?” Henry asked.

  Casey shook his head at both of them as Henry gave a brief wave to Vince and asked for a beer. “You three are like an episode of Gossip Girl.”

  Vince placed a wine for me and a beer for Henry on the bar while Mac gaped. “You watch Gossip Girl?”

  Casey narrowed his eyes on her.

  “I was stuck in the loft all day,” I offered. “Travis was out on a job. We…” Casey turned those eyes on me. “I had a Gossip Girl marathon.” Henry and Mac were watching me. “Then we...” I glanced at Casey “...then I dragged Casey shopping so I could get a dress and shoes. And earrings,” I added.

  “Wow.” Mac grinned. “Sounds like you had a busy day playing big sister, Casey.” Henry laughed as Casey handed me my wine. “Tim’ll be pissed he wasn’t there for that. I’d avoid him tonight if I were you. In fact, I see him heading this way right now. Can you see your life flashing before your eyes
?”

  “Thanks for that heads up, Mac,” Casey muttered while everyone laughed. He grabbed hold of my elbow and muscled me away from the group of people forming around us.

  I leaned in closer to be heard. “Am I ruining your badass reputation, Casey?”

  “I can handle it,” he said, eyes carefully scanning the crowd.

  I was quite certain Casey could handle just about anything. “How about I get you a drink?” I started back for the bar.

  He grabbed my forearm and hauled me back to his side. “No. Not while I’m looking after you without Travis here. Later.”

  I didn’t mind. I wasn’t exactly the expert at working a crowd. Relieved, I stood by Casey as people came over to chat to us. Mac and Carol worked the room for me, and Casey pointed out who was who as I sipped at my wine.

  “How the hell do you know all these people?”

  “He doesn’t. Jared gave us the guest list,” came the voice behind me.

  I jolted when a hand touched the small of my back. Lips brushed my ear. “You’re not gonna tip your wine over me again are you?”

  “You made it,” I murmured with pleasure, and holding tight to my glass, spun around to face Travis. My body flushed as I took in his navy dress pants and matching jacket. His collared shirt wasn’t buttoned at the neck, and my eyes rested where his blood pulsed visibly. “Not this time.”

  “Pity. I kinda liked how our night ended up the last time you did that.” He trailed his fingers lightly down the naked skin of my back to where it dipped a little dangerously low.

  “So…” I cleared my throat and aimed for safer conversation. “Jared gave you the guest list? I thought the party was a surprise.”

  “It is.”

  “So you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “About the…thing.”

  “What thing?”

  I pressed my lips together. “Oh. Nothing.”

  Travis raised a brow at me.

  “Really,” I insisted, averting my eyes and fiddling with the backing of my earring. “There’s no thing.”

  Casey nodded at Travis. “There’s definitely a thing. Jared rang Quinn at least five times today.”