“I forgot my headphones.”, Maddie casually walks to her room, totally unaware. Readjusting himself, Rob scrambles after her. “Oh, I think they’re in the kitchen, actually.”
Marcy’s wide eyes are a mix of shock and glee. She doesn’t say a word, but comes right over and punches me in the arm. It hurts, but I still laugh, “Shut up.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take her to the movies.”
“Oh, you don’t have to. We have good news.”
“They are gonna let her go?!”
“Yep!”
Marce and I are beaming like kids ourselves when Maddie comes back in, “What is it?”
“Your Dad has something to tell you.”
Red-faced, Rob peeks around from the hallway, “Actually, you should tell her Aim. You made it happen.”
“Oh no, you should.”
Marcy throws up her hands, “Oh good grief! Maddie, you are going to Kindergarten next week!”
Maddison’s stoic little face curls into a smile for a moment. Then she promptly climbs into her Bird’s Nest Palace. “Okay.”
Rob smiles and shrugs at us, we both laugh and I’m not totally sure, but I think I hear a little giggle from inside the blanket fortress too.
Rob
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW!
My mouth falls open.
I had almost gotten used to arriving home to the surprise of my life. Amy was coming up with something amazing and wonderful on a regular basis for me to open the front door to after work.
But what I walk in on today tops them all.
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW!
My little lady has tiny gloves strapped on her hands and is throwing combinations into an equally tiny punching bag. Both are, you guessed it, pink.
Aim notices I’m there but doesn’t stop calling out combos for her to throw.
“Two, two, three!”
Maddison fires off a pair of double left hooks and a right uppercut.
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW!
“Remember your feet! One, two, three!”
Maddie hops and bounces a bit before landing a jab, hook, uppercut.
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW!
I can’t keep my mouth shut for another second, “That’s perfect!”
Maddison doesn’t turn around, keeping her tiny eyes focused on the bag, waiting for her next combo.
“I kuw.” I recognize the slur, Amy has also found a tiny mouth guard.
Aim gets up, “You can pick your combinations for a bit, princess, just remember to pause between them.”
“Ugkay”
“Great, and where do they start?”
“Muh fuet.”
“That’s right!”
They tiny yells fade as I walk with Aim down the hall – when I’m quite sure we are far enough away from the living room I press her against the hallway wall and plant my gratitude on her lips. I’m pretty sure she was starting to assume no ‘thank you’ could come from me without also tasting her.
I make myself come up for air and for an explanation, “How’d you do it?”
“What do you mean? I just showed her like you showed me.”
I had always assumed there was no way to teach Maddie martial arts without touching her. But seeing the confusion on Aim’s face makes me realize that striking doesn’t have to require any touch from another person at all.
I feel like a royal dumb ass. Once again, I lean in to plant my gratitude on her, but she ducks under my arm.
“Sorry, I have to go.”
“You don’t wanna stay for dinner?”
She was already headed back down the hall, “Sorry, I can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Aim.”
“Bye, princess! See you tomorrow!”
“Buh”
“Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW! “Agh!” POW!
Before I can think of something else to say, she has scooped up her purse and gone. I stand staring at the closed door until a less muffled voice comes from directly behind me.
“Can you take these off?” I turn to see Maddie holding out her gloved hands.
Doing my best impression of a statue, I study the gloves, trying to analyze the best way to ensure I don’t touch her getting them off. The other thoughts in my mind – the ones screaming at the top of their lungs – make it hard to think.
Finally, she takes the initiative and uses her teeth to pull open the Velcro at each of her wrists before holding her hands back out. I’m grateful for the solved puzzle and simply grab onto the ends of the mitts and pull. When they pop off, she sits on the floor and starts to unwrap her hands.
I swallow and try not to sound shaken up, “I’m gonna jump in the shower before dinner, okay?”
“Okay”, she doesn’t seem to notice my inner turmoil, putting in her earbuds and planting in front of the TV.
“Okay.”
When I walk past the spot in the long hallway where I had last kissed Aim, my chest tightens up and it gets harder to take deep breaths. The edge of my bed seems like an eternity a way, but I manage to get there before my legs go into total noodle mode.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
What did I think was gonna happen? I told myself years ago that no woman was going to be willing to sign up for my crazy life. No one wanted to pick up all this baggage. Okay, she is an amazing babysitter, but that doesn’t mean she wants this mess twenty-four/seven.
That doesn’t mean she wants me.
The hot water steams up the glass walls of the shower, and while normally I’m an in-and-out kind of guy, right now this is where I need to be for a while. I sit on the large stone bench that I normally ignore or use for a shampoo stand, and lean my head against the marble wall.
Amy
I don’t fall apart until I make it home.
Walking out of there was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Being with him is all I’ve dreamed about since I was thirteen and now that I have it, I know I can’t enjoy it.
I know it’s not real.
His affection always came after I did something good for Maddie. While I understand why it moved him the way it did, it really had nothing to do with me. If he liked me he would have kissed me long ago. He may be grateful, he may be happy about what I do, but that would never last, because he’s not really attracted to me.
And if I let myself live in this fantasy it will only hurt worse in the long run. I can’t do that to myself. I don’t know if I could take it.
I pass the remains of my broken mirror. While I cleaned up the broken glass on the floor, I never bothered to take the frame off the wall. I decide in this moment I won’t ever take it down. It will serve as a reminder, just in case I ever try to convince myself his feelings are real.
After a shower, a good hearty cry, and more Chinese food then was really necessary, I curl up on the couch with my laptop. I’m not really paying attention, just scrolling through a few days’ worth of ignored emails.
But then I stop. One of the ones I missed from yesterday stands out. It doesn’t begin with the words, “Unfortunately”. When I open it, it makes me sit up so fast the computer almost falls off my lap.
“Dear Miss Sikes,
After thoroughly reviewing your application it has been decided that your skills and experience would be an excellent fit for our curator position. Please contact our office at your convenience to arrange an interview to discuss salary requirements.”
The thrill that rises in me sizzles out like a doused campfire. I remember applying for this job, a full-time day job. A job that would require me to leave Maddison.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I email back my availability for the next week. Maddison starts school on Monday, she’s going to be okay.
And her Dad will too.
Rob
Apologizing to Aim wasn’t going to be easy. But I told myself I wasn’t going to leave for work until I was sure she understood that…
well… that she understood that I understood why she didn’t’ want to be with me. And that I should have never assumed she would.
We both stand outside in the driveway and wave to Maddison as we watch her find a seat on the school bus. Both of us are nervous, for her and for ourselves. As the yellow monster roars and pulls away, I feel her hand on my arm.
“She’s gonna be okay. They actually had some great ideas for accommodating her during the IEP meeting last week. And her teacher is a sweetheart. I promise she’ll be all right.”
“Thanks, Aim.”
“Have a good day.” She turns and heads for the house a little too quickly, she’s uncomfortable being alone with me. And why shouldn’t she be? She was probably expecting another unwanted kiss.
“Aim, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Oh, sure.”
“Inside?”
“Oh… sure.”
To ease her mind, I don’t follow too closely, and stay standing in the living room to make my speech.
“I owe you an apology. I never bothered to check to see if you felt the same way about me as I do about you, and that was wrong. Please know that I totally understand why you don’t, and I don’t take it personally.”
“You do?”
“Maddison is the best thing that ever happened to me, but it’s a lot for most people.”
“Wait, what? You think I don’t… You think it’s because of Maddison?”
Totally thrown off, it’s my turn to stammer.
“Well, yeah I… I shouldn’t expect, I thought…”
“That really hurts, Rob.”
Shit. What’s happening? “I didn’t mean to…what do you mean?”
“The reason I can’t be with you has nothing to do with Maddie. Well, it does, but not the way you think. You have to know what I mean.”
“I don’t.”
“Oh, Rob! You don’t want to be with me, not really. You’re excited I’m good with Maddie, but I know I’m not your type, the thrill is going to wear off at some point and then you’ll remember that I’m… I’m not your type.”
“What is my type?”
She starts to clam up and wring her hands. “You know.”
“I thought I did, but apparently not.” I know exactly where she’s going with this, and it’s about to make me explode. If I could punch her insecurity in the face it would never get back up.
She makes a gesture to her frame, “Oh I’m just not- “
“You really have no idea how gorgeous you are, do you?
“Oh, well…”
“No. Stop. You don’t have to be with me, Aim, but you have to stop this. I’ve watched you try to hide your sexy body. Watched you avert your eyes and try your damnedest for no one to notice you. But I fucking notice you, Aim. I always have.”
“But, you, you never-”
“Because I’m an idiot, okay? I didn’t want to take Marcy’s best friend, but I should have. I should have busted into her bedroom and picked you up in the middle of painting your nails or whatever the fuck you guys used to do, and taken you to mine and showed you how gorgeous you are.”
“Rob…”
“Unless your next words are ‘I’m the hottest woman alive.’ I don’t want to hear it, okay? It’s fine if I’m not the man you want to be with, but it won’t, it shouldn’t be because you think I don’t find you attractive. Do you understand?”
“Y- yes.”
“I’m gonna kiss you right now. If you want it to be the last time, I will live with that. But I have to, just this once more.” Before she could protest, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me. I look into her eyes and don’t break the gaze as I kiss her. And then I let her go – and I know I’m letting her go forever, if that’s what she wants, “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
There’s total silence as I leave the house, but that’s fine. It’s better than the sound of her doubting how perfect she is.
Amy
What just happened?
I sink onto the couch and try to collect myself. My palms are soaking and my knees haven’t stopped shaking since he kissed me. It wasn’t our first kiss, but it was the first one I believed in. The first one from a man I knew wanted me. Really wanted me. All of me.
And I decide right then I can’t live for another hour unless he has me. All of me.
I open the front door as Rob is about to hop into his Dodge Charger.
“Wait!”
He steps back and closes the door, then he makes his way up the walkway. I mistake the firm and quick way he’s moving for anger again, and it makes me move backwards.
He storms in and throws the door closed behind him with a loud BANG that makes me jump. In fact, I almost shriek, because he’s moving toward me at full speed. It isn’t until he grabs me and sinks his mouth into my neck that I understand he’s not angry – he’s just decided to take what I was trying to give.
Massive hands slide over my hips and around to my ass cheeks. They only stay there for a moment before moving down between my thighs. In one quick and strong movement, he has me lifted, pinned between him and the wall with my legs wrapped around his waist.
I hang on to the steel muscles of his wide shoulders. The feeling of his mouth against my neck is making electricity shoot straight to my breasts and between my thighs.
When he pulls his lips away I’m disappointed until he uses them to whisper in my ear, “I won my first fight for you. When I saw you out there, I knew I couldn’t lose.”
“I know you did. I’ve always known it, even when I didn’t.”
I weave my fingers through is thick bread and use it to pull him around to my mouth. He tastes like aftershave and mint and musk. All the things commercials tell you men should taste like. I barely notice when he starts walking down the hall, I don’t know how he could tell where he was going, but before I know it I’m falling backwards onto his bed still fully wrapped in his arms.
Rob
I moan and kiss her mouth again as I cup and hold her tits. They’re so heavy and soft, both my big hands easily bury into her flesh.
When she takes off her top I turned to marble, all I can do is absorb the sight of her ivory skin and heaving breasts inside her black bra.
“Goddamn, you’re perfect.” I run my hand over her stomach and chest as more flattery spews out of me. “Look at you. So beautiful.”
She looks down when I start tracing my fingers along the tracks of her stretch marks. Then I feel the muscles beneath them tense as she starts stammering, “Oh, um, those are…”
“Sexy as fuck.” I finish the thought for her. I know that wasn’t where she was going, but it should’ve been.
It makes her kiss me, and as she does I slip my hands around to undo her bra. When I was finished today she was never going to wonder if she was good enough again, she was going to know what she did to me.
Her nipples are the same rose color as her lips, and the cool air makes them go from puffy and soft, to tight and hard under my eyes. I grasp her there and she leans back fully onto the bed as I sink into exploring them. Shifting back and forth from one to the other, transitioning between massaging the warm flesh of her, and touching her gently. Softly kissing her taught nipples. All I do is caress her for a long time until I have to give into the need to pull one of her areolas into my mouth hard.
Her body convulses in response, and her grip around my shoulders tightens. I draw on her nipple deeply, over and over, until the throbs of my cock are almost painful. I can’t remember ever being this hard in my life.
I release my hold to maneuver her skirt and panties down past her feet. I need to taste her. Now.
Amy
When he returns his mouth to my body, it’s against the inside of my thigh. As he moves his lips upward, toward my most intimate spot, I almost start to panic from the sensations, but I can’t keep myself from spreading my legs wider as he works his way up. The moment his mouth connects with my womanhood I gasp.
“Rob!�
� He knows it’s a cry of pleasure and it drives him deeper into my flesh.
It feels like he’s trying to drink every drop of me. The moans I let out when he hits the little bud at the top lets him know to remain there. He wraps his lips around my clit and sucks gently. My intense reaction drives him further, he grabs my knees, presses them back and worships that spot.
It feels like he’s there for hours, dancing his tongue over that perfect place. All I can do is pant and writhe, my hands holding the back of his head in desperation. The pressure building under his caresses is almost scaring me. I didn’t know my body could do this.
When I come from a man’s touch for first time in my life, I cry out like someone stabbed me. Thankfully it doesn’t faze him, instead of pulling away, he dips his head lower to take in all the wetness that’s pouring from my body – almost as if he doesn’t want a single bit wasted.
Part of me would be content to let him stay between my legs that way all day, but there is so much more I need. I tug against his shoulders and try to sit up, making him kiss his way back to my neck, but not before he removes the rest of his clothes.
Now I can reach his manhood and I can’t resist the urge to take it into my hand. It’s… large. Very large. I can hardly wrap my fingers all the way around his head, so instead I run them up and down the incredible length of it. Then massage the drop of moisture sitting at the tip around the huge tip.
His breathing against my neck is distressed and he whispers my name before he kisses my mouth again. The taste of myself on his lips makes me dizzy.
I don’t want to be a virgin for one more second. Taking charge, I push his massive shoulders so he’s lying flat on his back. Now I mimic his dedications from before and kiss his muscular neck and chest.
He runs his fingers through my hair and across my back. When I grazed my teeth across his taught nipple, the hand in my hair squeezes into a fist for just a moment. The resulting tug makes me ache between my legs. I move my caresses lower over his rippling abs until they meet the weapon that lays against his stomach. When my lips finally touch it, he lets out a sound that’s a mix between a moan and a growl. I make out with his shaft passionately from tip to base, amazed at the pulsing throbs I’m creating under my mouth.
Seal's Professor Page 21
