Change (Kitsune)

by Melissa Stevens

  I felt a little lost, Can I really be me again just by doing what he said, by thinking about and wanting to be me again?

  I sat for just a moment, wondering how this could possibly work, Has Brandon ever lied to you? Would he ever do anything to hurt you? I trusted Brandon and if he said I could do this, then I could, I just had to do what he told me to do.

  I took several deep breaths as I tried to relax some of the tension in my body, closed my eyes and concentrated on clearing all the outside thoughts from my mind. I pictured my body just as I had seen it this morning in the mirror. I started at the floor and worked my way up. I could see my feet standing on the tan carpet of my bedroom floor, the teal nail polish I had applied to my toe nails earlier in the week. I worked my way up, picturing the round bones on the outsides of my ankles and the muscles in my calves, and there was the small scar just below my left knee from a fall off my bike as a child. I could see my thick, muscular thighs, the rounded shape of my rear sloping up to my smaller, but not quite slender waist, and up farther past the generous curves of my breasts to my face.

  I concentrated on my round face, the large green eyes that dominate my face. I pictured in my mind my full lips and auburn hair, curling gently as it had settled around my shoulders while I brushed it out before pulling it up. I thought of how badly I wanted to be back in that body. When the tingling sensation all over my skin started again it surprised me, and I almost lost the mental picture of myself, but I managed to ignore it and I continued to will myself back into my body, to concentrate on how badly I wanted to be me again. The tingling intensified until it was almost stinging, and I felt my muscles begin to stretch and my bones start to shift and grind against each other.

  After what seemed to be several minutes the uncomfortable sensations started to fade, they slowed to a stop, no more bones shifting, or muscles popping, even the tingling faded until I felt normal once again.

  I opened my eyes and anxiously looked down at myself, half afraid of what I would see. I was sitting naked, but human in the back seat of the car. I scrambled to quickly put on the too large clothes that Brandon had left for me, worn, soft, sweat pants and matching top, but no shoes. If he had any they probably wouldn't have fit anyway. I leaned across the car and knocked on the window to let him know I was decent. He looked relieved when he turned and popped the door.

  "Climb up into the front, let me grab something and then we'll talk," He closed the door again before heading for the back of the ar.

  As I climbed between the front seats and settled into the passenger’s seat I heard the trunk open and close again before Brandon came back around and got into the driver’s seat beside me. He handed me a couple of protein bars "Eat up."

  I looked at the bars he had put into my hands and scrunched up my face in distaste.

  “Those things are nasty.” I said. He didn’t say anything but took one back and opened the packaging, I could suddenly smell the bar inside and I realized I was starving. Before I knew it I had them both gone. When I realized that I had just eaten both bars in under a minute I was embarrassed at having inhaled the food, and with little memory what kind of manners I might have shown in doing so. It must have shown on my face, because Brandon chuckled.

  "Don't worry about it, Nick, I know how hungry shifting can make you, especially when you're healing at the same time, that's why I went back and grabbed them. They aren't going to be enough, but they're all I have. They'll take the edge off, and hopefully hold you until we can get you something better to eat."

  "So, what's going on? What do you mean you know hungry shifting can make you? I've figured out what you mean by shifting, but how? How is it possible? And how can I be healing so fast? I noticed when I got dressed that wound from the snake bite is healing, it's not possible! Am I hallucinating from the venom?"

  "Been saving all your questions up, huh?" He asked me, laughing softly again, his smile showing the deep dimples in his cheeks. "No, you aren't hallucinating. You really did change shapes. The process of shifting most likely pushed the venom from your body and at the same time healed the worst of the damage that it had done."

  "You've lost your mind and I'm hallucinating, or better yet, it's all just a nightmare and I'll wake up and it will be Friday morning."

  "Do your dreams ever hurt like the snake bite did? Mine don't. You're not hallucinating or having a nightmare, Nickie."

  "But it can't be true - I must be going crazy…"

  "Nope, not crazy, just Kitsune," He told me, interrupting my ranting.

  "Kitsune?" I repeated. I'd never heard the word before.

  "Yep, Kitsune, we're a species of shape shifters."

  "There's an entire species of people who turn into dogs?"

  "Actually, we're not dogs, we're wolves. But that's not exactly what the Kitsune are. There are several different animal forms that different Kitsune can shift into, though, generally it's limited to only one animal form per person. You're a wolf, I'm a wolf, and there's an entire pack of wolves in Gila Valley."

  "An entire pack of wolves around here? Now you're the one who's dreaming. I've never seen a real wolf before, at least until I was one, and I’ve lived here all my life."

  "Not real wolves, Nickie, Kitsune wolves, there's a difference. Though, you should know, the accepted phrase is natural wolves, not real, because we're just as real as they are."

  "Okay, not real wolves, natural wolves. How can there be an entire pack in the valley and nobody knows about it?"

  "Actually, there are a lot of people who know about it, the pack members, but very, very few outside the pack. Our secret is well kept."

  "How did I become…Kitsune? Is that what you call it? I've never been bitten by a wolf, and I'm sure it's not something I would forget."

  Brandon rolled his eyes, "There's only one way to be Kitsune, you're born one. Kitsune can only be born, there is no other way to become one of us. The biting thing is pure myth, Hollywood and fantasy novels."

  "News flash, Brandon, so are werewolves." I couldn’t help but point out.

  "Point." He conceded, "You're going to find that some movies and fantasy novels aren't as make-believe as you thought. I know it's hard to believe but I'm not lying to you. I wouldn't do that to you and you know it." He said calmly, and I shifted in my seat, feeling guilty that I had suspected him of doing just that.

  "You're sure? I mean about the whole wolf thing." I asked, looking out the passenger window to avoid looking at him.

  "Absolutely certain. Look, do you mind if we head back into town while we talk? While you were shifting back to human I called the Anikitos, our pack leader, and he's expecting us. I'd prefer not to be late and risk angering him."

  "Do I have to?" I asked, apprehensive at the thought of meeting the leader of the local wolf pack. I tried to think of everything I had ever read about werewolf packs and their leaders and nothing I was coming up with was reassuring.

  "Don't worry, you'll be fine. Plus he'll have a lot answers for you that I don't. I may have been raised as one of us, but I'm still pretty young, and honestly, not all that high in the pack. There's a lot that I just don't know."

  "Okay, but you have to promise not to leave me alone. I don't want you to just drop me off at some stranger’s house and leave me. I'm uncomfortable enough with everything that's happening to me as it is, without being told what to believe by some stranger."

  "I'll promise you that I won't leave you alone with the Anikitos unless you want me to, all right? You may decide after meeting him that you don't want me around."

  "I can't see why I would do that, but if you say so I'll take your word for it. You've done nothing but help me this afternoon and I thank you for it." I said. Brandon started the car and pulled out on to the highway that headed back toward town.

  Chapter 2

  My confusion only grew as Brandon pulled up in front of Bill Hayes' house. Bill had been my father's best friend for as long as I could remember. Why on earth were we here when Bran
don said he was taking me to see the pack leader?

  When Brandon opened his door to get out, I asked, "Why are we at Bill's house?"

  "You know the Anikitos?"

  "I don't know who this Ani-key-toes you keep talking about is, but I do know that this is Bill Hayes' house. Bill is Dad's best friend. I've known Bill my whole life."

  "Do you trust him?" Brandon wanted to know.

  "Well, yeah, of course I do."

  "Good. Then this'll be easier for you. You already know he's not going hurt you, and you know you're in good hands if you, or he, want me to leave."

  "You keep acting like one of us is going to throw you out or something. Why would we do that? You're my friend, you're telling me that you and he are the same thing I supposedly am, so why would we throw you out?"

  "It's a Kindred thing, and he's the Anikitos, the boss. If he says jump I ask how high and then I do it. End of story. I know you don't get it now, but later you'll understand. Maybe not right away, but eventually, you'll get it. I just want you to be prepared, in case it happens."

  "Okay, if you say so, I'll take your word for it. Let's just get this over with," I said, opening my door and climbing out of the car, the heat of the day rushing in to smack me in the face after the cool temperatures from the air conditioning in the car. I was starting to feel the ravening hunger I had felt earlier return. "When we're through here can we find something to eat? I'm starving."

  "I don't see why not, but let's see how things go here before we make any solid plans."

  He had already made his way up the short walkway and was standing at the door by the time I managed to tiptoe around the car on my bare feet.

  I'm so glad that Bill keeps this place so shady, it's saving me from burning my feet now. Brandon rang the doorbell while I was still padding carefully up the sandstone walkway. By the time I got to the door, it been opened and Karen, Bill's wife, was standing in the open doorway.

  "Alekto, I offer my apologies for showing up without warning, but the Anikitos ordered me to bring Nickie to him as soon as possible," Brandon said to Karen in a formal and subservient tone. It baffled me as I'd never seen Brandon behave in such a manner. I looked back and forth between the two of them and I noticed that Brandon was carefully avoiding looking Karen in the face. What's going on here?

  "Not a problem, Brandon. Bill told me you would be coming. I'm glad to see you both, come on in, Bill's in his office. Nickie," She said, turning to face me for the first time, "You know where it is. Please let Bill know I'll be there in just a moment. Is there anything I can get for you on my way?"

  My stomach chose that moment to let us all know just how hungry I was, and it growled loudly. I felt the blood rush to my face as I blushed bright red.

  "Did you have anything to eat after shifting?" She asked kindly.

  "I had a couple of protein bars." I said, trying to pretend that had been enough to satisfy me.

  "Oh, dear! Is that all?" She seemed surprised.

  "Sorry, Ma'am, it's all I had in the car, and the Anikitos told me to bring her straight here." Brandon put in apologetically.

  "Ah, no worries then," She smiled, "I'll just put something together for you, and then I'll bring it in with me. You two go on in and see Bill though, he's waiting for you."

  I led Brandon down the hall toward Bill's office. I'd been here many times before with my Dad and I'd thought I knew Bill well, but apparently not as well as I had thought. I wonder if Dad knows about Bill being some kind of werewolf leader? I didn't know Karen quite as well, but we'd always gotten along well. The door to Bill's office was standing open, and I stuck my head in first, looking to make sure he was actually in there before I just walked in. He looked up from the papers he had been studying on his desktop and I could see a smile jump to his face, as though he had been unsure who was coming in the door.

  "Nickie!" he said as he stood up, pushing the wheeled chair backward with his movement. He skirted his desk and approached me. "I'm so glad to see you, and that you're safe and sound too.

  "Why don't you come on over here and have a seat? Then you can tell me exactly what happened today," He invited as he guided me with an arm around my shoulders toward the sofa and chairs arranged into a conversation area at the opposite end of the long, narrow room from his desk.

  "I thought Brandon already told you what happened?" I asked him, confused. I took a seat in my favorite of the large black leather chairs. Curling my bare feet under me as I settled into the comfortably familiar overstuffed seat. I could remember many hours spent in this same chair over the years, listening to Bill and Dad talk.

  "He did, but I'd like to hear it from you, if you don't mind." He told me as he sat down on the matching leather sofa across from me. Only Brandon was still standing, he looked uncomfortable and like he was waiting to be told what to do next.

  "If that's what you want, I don't mind. Oh!" I said, suddenly remembering, "Karen said she'd join us in a few minutes, and to let you know."

  "That's fine…" Bill said, and he, almost absently, pointed at Brandon and then to the other chair in the seating area, silently ordering him to have a seat, but his eyes never left me.

  I was quiet for a moment as I tried to decide what to say. "Where do you want me to start?" I asked, does he want just the shift or what led up to it, or everything that happened to me in the last few months since we've seen each other?

  "Wherever you want to. Where were you, what were you doing? Tell me as much as you feel comfortable with."

  "Ok…" I said, deciding to start with this morning, "Well, Brandon and I left early this morning…" I told Bill what happened, getting caught up in the memory of it. "The next thing I knew I was looking up at Brandon and he just looked so surprised. He said something like he thought it would never happen, and at the time I had no idea what he meant. It was several more minutes before I realized I wasn't human anymore."

  "You were, and still are the same person you've always been, Dear, you just weren't in human form," Bill said firmly, "Remember that. You are always you, no matter what shape your body takes. You were still able to think weren't you?" I nodded. "Then you're still you. End of story."

  I nodded, accepting his reassurance, and continued my story, "He picked up my back pack and told me to follow him back to the car. I have to admit it took me a few minutes but once I got the hang of it, the trip was a lot easier on four legs instead of two. Anyway, we got back to the car, and Brandon got these out of the trunk," I said pulling at the loose black sweats I was wearing, "He told me how to shift back. After I got dressed, he gave me a couple of protein bars, he told me I'm not crazy and I'm something called Kitsune, and that you and he are too, and then he brought me here." I turned to look at Brandon, "Why did you have these in the trunk anyway?" I asked.

  "I always carry an extra set of clothes." He said, shrugging.

  "Oh," I only have clothes in my car for specific reasons, so I didn't know what to say to him.

  "Can you tell me exactly how you managed to shift back to human form?" Bill asked, once again taking control of the conversation.

  "I just listened to Brandon and did what he told me to do. I pictured my human body and concentrated on how badly I wanted to be back in it, and it worked. When I opened my eyes I was normal again."

  Bill turned to Brandon, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and asked, "And you didn't help her?"

  "No, Sir, that's not something I have the Talent for. I just told her how to do it. I was hoping that she could manage it on her own. If anyone has the force of will to manage their first deliberate shift without help, it would be Nickie," He said, I found his confidence in me startling, but at the same time comforting and reassuring.

  "And what would you have done if she hadn't been able shift back on her own?" Bill questioned.

  "Wait a second," I interrupted, feeling myself start to panic again, "Are you saying I could have been trapped as a wolf? That I could have been unable to shift back?"

  "
Kind of, but not really, or more accurately not for long." Bill said gently, "I'll get to that in a minute, but I want this answered first. Just give us a second." He turned back to Brandon and his voice hardened. "Well?"

  "I'd have brought her here to you. I called you while she was trying to shift, I didn't know if she would manage it or not at that point. If she hadn't managed, I would have told her what I could and kept her as calm as I could while I brought her to you. I know that our Harmonia has the talent to call and restrict animal forms, and once I got Nickie to you, you would have been able to see to it that Nickie got the help she needed to shift back to human form."

  "Very well," Bill said, seeming to find the answer acceptable. He turned back to me and his tone softened again, as if he had gone from speaking to an employee to a beloved family member, "As Brandon just said, we have someone who would have been able to help you to return to human form. Being stuck, as you put it, would only have been a temporary inconvenience." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to relax away some of the tension that had seized my body when I thought I could have been trapped as a wolf. "Now, how are you feeling? Physically, at least, I'm sure your mind is spinning at all the new information."

  "Honestly? I'm starving."

  "That's to be expected. After all, you've shifted, not once but twice, and healed the snakebite too I’m sure, in a very short amount of time. Changing shapes takes a lot of energy, even shifting once will make you hungry, and two energy bars aren’t nearly enough to replace what you’ve burned. I'm willing to bet if I know my wife," Bill smiled fondly as he thought of Karen, "That's what's taking Karen so long. She's taking the time to fix you something to eat."

  "She did say she was going to put something together before she joined us." I recalled.

  "Very well," He said, he turned to Brandon and again his voice cooled as he spoke to him, "You're free to go." It sounded like a dismissal and I looked at Brandon, expecting him to protest being treated like a subordinate.

  Brandon looked at me and asked, "Are you all right here without me or do you want me to stay?" I saw Bill's eyebrows rise at this, as though Brandon's not immediately leaving surprised him.