You Complicate Me

by Isabel Jordan

  Right on cue, Ruthie rolled around the corner, looking fairly pleased with herself, with Brad behind her, pushing her wheelchair. Brad looked more embarrassed than Grace had ever seen him, which, childishly, brightened her mood considerably.

  “Grace,” Ruthie said as Brad parked her chair at the head of the table, “isn’t it against the law to have an entryway in a public place that’s so filled with crap you can’t fit a wheelchair through?”

  “I’m not helping you sue Cracker Barrel,” Grace said with an eye roll.

  Ruthie scowled at her. “Well, what good are you, then?”

  “Ask Nick,” Gage said mildly. “He knows what good Grace is.”

  Grace resisted the childish urge to flip him off, instead saying, “Who’s a grumpy bastard?”

  “Of course I’m a grumpy bastard. I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

  “Technically, neither did I,” Grace muttered.

  “I didn’t sleep either,” Ruthie announced. “I heard Wild Kingdom noises all night.”

  Grace, who’d just taken a big drink, promptly spewed a mouthful of orange juice in Gage’s direction.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” he grumbled, grabbing a stack of napkins to mop up the mess.

  “Sorry,” she choked out.

  Not one to ever pick up on a social cue, Brad asked, “What do you mean by Wild Kingdom noises?”

  Grace did a mental face-palm, but outwardly schooled her features into a mask of indifference, so as not to draw any more attention to herself, or to Nick, who looked altogether too pleased with himself.

  “I mean Wild Kingdom noises,” Ruthie repeated. “You know, like wild animals humping. Like a television special about horny monkeys.”

  Nick’s smirk grew, and Grace leveled a scowl on him to let him know she was rethinking her earlier decision not to stab him with her fork.

  “At least someone got lucky last night, because God knows I didn’t,” Michael groused quietly, which drew a sharp gasp from Sadie. Grace glanced over at Nick, who didn’t seem to have heard Michael’s comment. But Gage sure had, she noticed with no small amount of alarm.

  An angry vein popped up in his forehead as Gage leaned forward in his seat, and in a low voice that Grace had never before heard him use, said, “Start showing her some god damned respect, asshole, or I’ll drag you outside by the hair and beat the ever-lovin’ fuck out of you.”

  Grace’s breath caught. “Gage,” she whispered.

  Michael blinked at Gage like he’d never seen him before, but regained his composure quickly. Kind of.

  His chair shrieked as Michael shoved away from the table. “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, man, but I’m over it.” With that, he stood up and tossed a few bills on the table to cover the cost of the breakfast he’d barely touched. “I’m going back to the hotel.”

  When Sadie started to stand up, he waved her off. “Stay. I need some time alone anyway.”

  Then he was gone.

  A full minute of tense silence passed. Nick reached over and give Sadie’s hand a squeeze. “You okay?” he asked her.

  She nodded, but still looked pale and shaky when she shifted her gaze to Gage. “That wasn’t necessary,” she said in a voice so quiet Grace had to strain to hear her. “The pancakes…saying that to him. You probably shouldn’t have done it. But…thank you.”

  In the silence that followed, as Sadie and Gage locked eyes and seemed to get stuck that way, Brad cleared his throat and said, “Well, this has all been very awkward.” Then he punctuated his statement with a nervous hyena giggle that made Grace cringe.

  Ruthie sniffed. “No more awkward than you sitting here trying to win back a woman who was up all night making Wild Kingdom noises with an Irishman who probably goes through her purse while she’s sleeping.”

  “Sometimes I don’t even wait until she’s asleep,” Nick fired back without missing a beat. “Fill ‘em up with sperm, then rob ‘em blind while they search for their panties,” he added in a dead-on Irish accent that would’ve done Colin Farrell proud. “It’s the Irish way.”

  Grace practically had a snark-induced orgasm at that point. A snarkgasm. Had there ever been a more eloquently executed example of snark? It was perfect.

  Grace had been falling in love with Nick for a while. But it was in that moment she realized she wasn’t falling anymore. She’d already fallen. Anyone who could snark like Nick just had was a keeper.

  Gage and Sadie stifled chuckles, while Ruthie harrumphed into her coffee cup, and Brad looked like he might have a stroke at any moment. Tossing his napkin to the table much like Michael had, Brad stood up and left, after announcing he needed some air.

  “I hear the air is nice in Canada,” Gage called after him. “You should go there to get some.”

  Grace couldn’t agree more.

  Ruthie, completely unfazed by Brad’s departure, threw her hands up and said, “Where’s the damn apple butter?”

  Sadie handed Ruthie the apple butter while Grace silently thanked God that her parents had decided to skip breakfast. Having her dad hear about her sexcapades the previous night (and this morning) rated very low on her list of must-do’s, somewhere between getting food poisoning again, and jabbing a fork in her eye.

  “Is it too early to go somewhere and get drunk?” Nick asked, not really sounding like he was kidding.

  “They really should serve vodka at family restaurants,” Grace said. “When does anyone need a drink more than when they’re with family?”

  Gage nodded and added, “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

  Sadie smiled wanly at them. “I’m so sorry for ruining breakfast, everyone.”

  Nick opened his mouth to reply, but Gage beat him to the punch, saying, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I’ll talk with Michael. We’ll get everything worked out.”

  Yeah, Grace thought, Gage, who was halfway in love with the bride-to-be, should have a chat with the groom-to-be. Good plan. “How about I talk to Michael after breakfast, so that Nick and Sadie can spend some time together?” So that maybe, God willing, one of us can get to the bottom of whatever the fuck is going on with these two kids and this rushed, ill-advised wedding clusterfuck.

  “You know,” Ruthie said as she smeared apple butter all over a biscuit, “Mavis Tarley in my book club says it’s perfectly acceptable these days for girls to become lesbians. Not just ugly girls, either. Pretty ones like you can do it, too, Sadie. Just something to think about before you decide to marry into this family.”

  Everyone took a few moments of silence to digest that little nugget of crazy.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  An hour and two pancakes—okay, four pancakes—later, Grace found Michael sulking all by himself in a lounge chair by the resort pool. She didn’t bother with a greeting when she approached. She just smacked him on the back of his head with an open palm.

  He yelped and shifted away from her. “What the fuck, Grace?”

  She sat down, shaking her head. “I could ask you the same thing. And quit frowning at me like that. You know you deserved it. You were acting like a total douchenozzle at breakfast.”

  Michael shoved both hands through his already messy hair and groaned. “I know, I know. I knew it then, too, I just couldn’t seem to stop it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  Maybe it’s because you’re a child getting ready to marry another child??? But instead of asking that aloud, Grace settled for, “Could it be nerves?”

  He shrugged and picked at a loose string on a hole at the knee of his beaten-to-hell jeans. “I honestly don’t know. Things between me and Sadie have been…different since we got here.”

  Grace took a slow, deep breath, knowing she was dangerously close to venturing into interference territory. If she was going to go there with Michael, she’d have to tread lightly. Really lightly. Like, sparrow-with-anorexia lightly.

  “What do you mean different?” she asked carefully.

  Michael blew o
ut an exasperated breath. “Different, okay? We’re usually completely in sync with one another, you know? We eat all the same foods, like all the same places, enjoy doing all the same things. We used to tell each other everything. And now, it’s…I don’t know. I’m finding out Sadie hasn’t always told me the truth about her past, and she’s letting Mom make all these wedding decisions for her.” He paused, shaking his head again. “It’s like…”

  “You don’t really know each other,” Grace finished quietly.

  “Yes,” he answered, sounding relieved that she understood.

  “You need to talk to her,” Grace said. “Getting married is a huge deal, Michael. I’m sure you’re both just…” Jumping the gun on this thing? Far too young and naïve to even think about marriage? Acting like the stupid hormonal teenagers you are? “…nervous and feeling the pressure, you know?”

  He nodded. “I know you’re right. But there’s also this whole thing with Gage. I mean, after he helped her when she was sick, it’s like there’s…I don’t know, this bond between them, or something. And then she started pulling away physically…I dunno. The whole thing is just starting to get really weird.”

  Danger, Will Robinson! You’re about to interfere!

  “Michael,” she began gently, “do you still want to get married?”

  Again with the shrug and eye-contact avoidance. “I love Sadie.”

  “Of course you do. She’s awesome. But loving someone doesn’t mean you have to marry them right away. Do you still want to marry her now?”

  His eyes shifted to hers. “She wants a family. I love her, Grace. I want to give her everything she wants. I want her to be happy.”

  And that’s exactly what Grace had been afraid of all along. Michael didn’t care about getting married. He cared about Sadie and what it would take to make her happy. “You need to talk to her, Michael,” Grace insisted. “Now. Get this all straightened out to determine if getting married tomorrow is still what you both want.”

  His eyes narrowed on her. “And if we decide it is? You’ll stand by me and be my best man? Not lecture me or try to stop the wedding?”

  She really didn’t want to promise that. Grace was now more convinced than ever that getting married wasn’t right for these two kids at the moment. Not that they couldn’t eventually get their shit together and get it done, but by tomorrow? It just didn’t seem prudent. Or likely. But with her promise to Nick hanging over her head like the sword of Damocles, she nodded and said with a conviction she didn’t really feel, “Of course I’ll stand by you. No lectures. I want you to be happy, Michael.”

  Even if what makes you happy now can emotionally devastate and ruin you a day, a month, or a year from now.

  When Nick found Sadie, she was holding her wedding dress in front of her, staring into a full-length mirror in the reception hall as if answers to every question in the universe could be found in her own reflection. Nick didn’t have much experience with such things, but if he had to guess, he’d say her expression was not that of an ecstatic woman about to be married the next day.

  Sadie looked more like a woman about to go in for a pap smear.

  “Hey, kid,” he said, causing her to jump.

  “Oh my God, Nick, you scared me.”

  She smiled at him, but Nick noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He sighed. He’d really been hoping he wouldn’t have to have this conversation with his sister. But at this point, he didn’t seem to have any other option. And since beating around the bush was also out of the question given their current time constraints, he asked, as gently as possible, “Having second thoughts?”

  Her eyes widened for a split second before she burst out in a nervous, high-pitched laugh. “No way! Are you crazy? I have the dress, everything’s been booked, Michael and I have been working three jobs to pay for everything, and everyone’s here. The wedding is happening tomorrow.”

  Nick rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, feeling all kinds of awkward. “I’m not really asking if you’re having second thoughts about the wedding, Sadie. I’m asking if you’re having second thoughts about the marriage.”

  She blinked at him, then said, “I love Michael.”

  He nodded. “Of course you do. You wouldn’t have said yes when he asked you to marry him if you didn’t.”

  “Oh, he didn’t ask me. I asked him.”

  “Well, sure you…wait, what?”

  Sadie laughed again. “Don’t look so shocked, Nick. It’s 2018. A woman can ask a man to marry her, you know.”

  He was quiet for a moment while he processed what Sadie said. Of course a woman could ask a man to marry her, he thought. Nick wasn’t a sexist. But this was Sadie. The girl who started writing stories about princesses and the princes who proposed to them when she was eight. The girl who kept a scrapbook full of wedding dress images under her pillow when she was fourteen. For Sadie to buck tradition and ask Michael to marry her? It was…weird. Absolutely nothing short of weird.

  “And you didn’t think…” Nick trailed off. Jesus, maybe I should’ve let Grace handle this. “…you were a little young to be making that kind of commitment? What was the hurry?” Then a horrible thought occurred to him. “Wait, you’re not pregnant, are you?”

  A blush tinged her cheeks, and she let out a disgusted snort. “No, Nick, I’m not pregnant. The birds-and-the-bees chat you had with me when I was nine stuck with me, okay?”

  It had stuck with him, too. Shit. Was there anything worse than having to explain where babies came from to your little sister? He could still remember the intense relief he’d felt when she wrinkled up her little nose and said, “Ew, I’m never going to do that.”

  Ah, the good old days.

  Sadie draped the wedding dress lovingly over the back of a velvet-covered chaise and tucked her arm through his. “Look, Nick, you’re the one who taught me that when there’s something I want, I should go after it hard, right?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Well, I love Michael, and I can’t really explain it, but it didn’t take me long to realize I’m meant to be part of this family. I knew it as soon as I met his parents and Ruthie. And I figured, why wait, you know? So I made it happen. Just like you told me to do.”

  He frowned. “Babe, I remember that conversation, and I’m pretty sure I was talking about you getting picked for the swim team when you were twelve. I don’t remember saying anything about getting married.”

  This time her laugh sounded genuine. “I know that. But the advice was still good.” Her expression turned serious as she added, “I need this, Nick. Can you understand that?”

  He understood better than anyone probably ever could. He’d done his best to take care of her when their family—which was really only a step above living on the streets to begin with—totally fell to shit. But for an impressionable little girl like Sadie, having a punk like him for a big brother could never compare to having a real family, like the one Grace and Michael had.

  The kind of family Sadie was so obviously desperate to have.

  What he’d told Grace had been right all along. He couldn’t take this chance away from her. Sure, Michael had acted like a grade-A asshole this morning. But overall, it was pretty obvious the kid adored his sister. Michael was young and stupid, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Sadie could do worse.

  Nick sighed. “Alright, I’m only going to ask you one more thing, then I’ll let it go and support whatever you decide, okay?”

  When Sadie nodded, he asked, “Are you sure Michael’s the one?”

  Given how he’d seen her looking at Gage over the past couple of days, Nick thought the question was fair. He half expected Sadie to shoot back an indignant of course. But instead, she smiled wryly and asked, “Is anyone ever really sure? It’s all a gamble, right? I mean, what does the one look like, anyway?”

  Nick started speaking without really thinking. “The one is the first person you think about when you wake up, and the last before you go to bed. You feel like a part of
you is missing when you’re not with her, like you can’t quite catch your breath until she’s there at your side. You hear a funny joke and the first thing you want to do is call her, because you know she’ll think it’s funny, too. She’s the one who holds your heart in her hands, and the idea doesn’t even scare you because you trust her with it and know there’s no one else on earth you’d ever want to give it to, anyway. She makes you want to be better. At everything. She’s…the balance. Sunlight to darkness.”

  A few weeks ago, Nick wouldn’t have had an answer to Sadie’s question. So, now that the words had stopped flowing, he imagined he looked just as surprised at having said them as Sadie looked hearing them.

  He was even more surprised that he’d meant every word.

  Sadie’s eyes filled with tears. “Wow,” she whispered, voice thick with emotion. “Sounds like there’s maybe someone you should be talking to more than me right now, Nicky.”

  I’m not looking for a relationship.

  Yeah, but what would you do if you found one?

  “Holy shit,” he muttered as realization hauled off and slapped him across the face. “I love her.”

  Sadie grinned at him. “Ya think?”

  He shoved both hands through his hair. “I can’t tell her that. I’ve only known her for a week! She’ll freak the fuck out!”

  Sadie shrugged. “Maybe. But what if she doesn’t? And who says love has a timetable, anyway? It’s way too complicated for that.”

  Ugh. Complicated. Would that word ever not make him nauseous?

  Chapter Thirty

  After her talk with Michael, Grace decided to take the quickest route from the pool to her room, which unfortunately took her straight through the heart of the casino. Her eyes immediately teared up as she was smacked in the face with a wall of stale cigarette smoke.

  Waving a hand in front of her in an attempt to clear the air, she squinted and tried to get her bearings. Between the smoke, the dim overhead lighting, and the rows of machines that flashed and alarmed obnoxiously, Grace was having a hard time even determining where the exit into the hotel was.