Gathering our plates up to load in the dishwasher I know he’s right. But I do know it’s more of a cover. Yeah he might be worried about hurting someone if they get attached, but more than anything he’s worried about getting hurt again. I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever allow someone in again. We all deserve to be happy; we just got to find the right person to be happy with. Mallory might just be that person, if she can keep sane and patient while Seth figures his shit out. Not like she doesn’t have her own shit to figure out as well, but she has changed a lot since the time I first met her. She’s ready to settle down. Pretty fucking sure she’s ready to settle down with the one man who won’t be easy to settle.
I’m actually in our room folding laundry when Jesika comes home from her girl time with Mallory. I guess I am a fucking Suzy Homemaker as Seth called me. But hell, I’ve been doing this shit even before I had Emma as my reason to learn the all the ins and outs. Seth and I did have to fend for ourselves a lot as kids since our mom worked so much. Helping around the house and doing shit is just second nature for me. Jesika takes her sweet ass time shutting the door which makes me think something is wrong.
“Jes, is everything okay?” I yell as I fold the last two towels. I hear her soft steps make their way to our bedroom doorway.
“Ummm. I’m not really sure, Derek. I got sick when we were out. Right after eating actually.” Screw the towels. I drop them and walk over to where she is and feel her forehead.
“Are you okay, baby? What kind of sick? Do you have a bug? A cold? The flu? What’s wrong?” She chuckles at the doctor side of me coming out in full force.
“Actually I’m not sick. Well, yes I did throw up, but it’s not a sickness. Umm well, actually it is a sickness. One they usually call morning sickness.” She tries to keep from making eye contact with me which I feel is strange and totally not Jesika.
“Okay. Well what’s that mean then? I mean you threw up, but you aren’t sick—” then it hits me. The meaning of what she had just told me. Morning sickness usually only happens when you’re preg—grabbing her face in my hands I force eye contact. “Baby, does that mean you’re pregnant? Like we are going to have a baby?” She nods her while my hands still grasp it.
“That’s so great! I mean it’s crazy since you weren’t supposed to be able to have any more kids and I was totally fine with it, but the fact that we are having one is amazing. I get to be a dad again. A dad to our baby. The one growing inside you that we made.” I can’t help but place my hand on her belly. She’s biting her lip trying to contain her smile. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. She must have feared that I wouldn’t be happy about this. How in the world could I not be? Even though Emma is mine in every important way possible besides blood, I still craved having one of my own.
This woman standing here in front of me has given me everything. She’s given me hope, love, understanding, truth, and life. She fully brought me back to life. As I did her. We saved each other. And now we are finally getting our happy ending. I can’t help the emotion that’s building up in me. She wipes away the single tear that treads down my face.
“I love you, Derek and I need you right now.”
I waste no time closing the distance between us and claiming her hot sweet mouth with mine. She wastes no time persuading my mouth open with her tongue. Her very eager tongue. Thank god the kids are already asleep because I’m not sure I’d even be able to stop myself if they weren’t. With both hands I grab underneath her ass where her legs meet urging her to hop up and wrap her smooth tan legs around me. Not breaking the contact between our mouths I turn around and walk us to our bed pushing off all the folded laundry as I lay her down and proceed to lay on top of her.
I take my time with her sweet body making sure I pour out all the love that’s flowing through mine with every kiss, touch, taste and thrust. I want to ingrain it in her soul that she is mine and I love her beyond words. Because when there are no words left to tell someone just how much you love them, the only thing left is to show them. That’s exactly what I do and she willingly returns the favor. Afterwards we lay on our sides with her back nestled against my chest.
My left arm is tucked under her head while my right is draped over hers with our fingers entwined together across her heart. We lay content like this for minutes before she breaks the silence with an admission that rocks me all the way down to my core.
“I’m scared Derek.” My grip tightens around her. If she’s scared there is a damn good reason. We never really discussed why she wasn’t supposed to get pregnant after Jaxon. She had only told me she had severe complications with his pregnancy.
“There were reasons I wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant. I’m pretty sure they had fixed me to keep it from happening. I’m not sure of all the reasons or what all the complications involved were. I know that I had crazy high blood pressure which in turn resulted in preeclampsia, but on top of that I ended up hemorrhaging when I went into labor which thankfully I was already admitted to the hospital.” Shit, now she has me scared. I’m having second thoughts about this whole baby thing if it means Jesika’s life is at stake. I don’t see how that could be an even trade at all. And I’m definitely not a gambling man, and this is just a risk I’m not willing to take if that’s the case. But I know this isn’t just my choice. Well, in all actuality it’s all Jesika’s choice since it’s her that’s carrying the baby.
“Anyways, I won’t really know anything until I see a doctor. Find out how I even got pregnant in the first place. Shit, I don’t even know how far along I am.” I nuzzle my head down in the crook of her neck making sure my whole body is as close to hers as it can be.
“Whatever happens Jesika, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I might end up getting on your damn nerves with how involved I’m going to be. We are a team. There is no I in team, but I do support whatever decision you end up making in regards to any of this. I will always have your back no matter what.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jesika
Derek has made this the most enjoyable pregnancy possible so far. He has been so caring and protective about me and my growing bump. Not missing a single doctor’s visit, Derek is so involved with every aspect. Knowing my previous pregnancy history, I made an appointment with the same O.B. clinic hoping the same doctor still worked there. I thought maybe she’d have answers as to why in the hell I got knocked up in the first place when I was supposed to have been fixed. So, at our first doctor’s visit we were told that tubal ligations aren’t one hundred percent effective and it can possibly reverse itself over time. Also, she made sure to lay out all of the possible risks and complications to me that day.
“Jesika do you remember what the condition was you had during your first pregnancy?” she asked with narrowed eyes.
“Umm. I don’t recall the name. I remember it dealt with the placenta not wanting to detach, which caused me to hemorrhage and the only known treatment was to have a hysterectomy that I refused…but agreed to a tubal instead.”
She had seemed somewhat surprised by my answer as she replied, “Yes. The condition you had and will most likely have again is called Placenta Accreta. Placenta Accreta is when your placenta attaches too deep to your uterine wall. A good indicator of this condition is bleeding during the last trimester which in return can produce a premature delivery. Even if everything turns out well during the delivery or cesarean which is what you will have seeing that’s what you had with your first child, the risk doesn’t end there. The main concern is the hemorrhaging that could take place when manually removing the placenta from the uterine wall. If severe, it could be life threatening. I just want you to be fully aware of all the possibilities while you still have time to change your mind about proceeding any further with this pregnancy.”
Sitting there that day, I could not believe she suggested what it sounded like she did. “Are you seriously throwing out the idea of an abortion to me Dr. Summer’s?” I couldn’t hold back the heat in my voice
that day. I was pretty livid that she’d even consider that or think I’d consider that as a logical possibility. She had leaned forward in her chair looking at me sympathetically while she placed her hand over my hands that I had weaved together in my lap. She tried to comfort me which in return had caused me to calm down.
“Jesika, I know how scary last time was for you and even with all of us trained staff members here. I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. The dangers of it could be grave. It’s not just you at risk, but your baby as well.”
That was four months ago and so far so good. Well besides my huge belly. I can’t fit into anything. It’s even worse when you can barely pull your scrub top down over your basketball looking belly. Derek loves it. Or so he says. He is always coming up behind me and rubbing it while whispering sweet things in my ear. He always makes sure to give me nightly back and foot rubs as well. Well, on the nights he’s not stuck at the station. I’m truly spoiled beyond belief. Ever since finding out I was already three months pregnant four months ago, he’s been begging me to quit my job. I know he’s extremely worried about the fact that this pregnancy can take a turn for the worse without any indication until the actual problem occurs. I had made a compromise with him two months ago that I would quit my job when my third trimester started. Since that is when it can start getting complicated, I figured it would be safe to wait until then. My belly was getting too big to fit in my dental assisting chair anyways.
Staying home all the time was pretty boring. The only bright side was my house was spotless. I did make sure to take plenty of naps though. They tell you to take advantage of all the time you have before your newborn is born because you won’t be getting a break afterwards. The kids keep me pretty active with the basketball games going on this winter. It was so convenient having them at the same school and in the same grade. I was glad that I convinced Jake to let me hold Jaxon back one year in Kindergarten. He was just so close to that age where he’d be the youngest five year old in class, and I knew he just wasn’t ready for all day school.
Now when I have games to go to, it’s just one. Jaxon plays and Emma cheers. It’s perfect. I love it even more when Derek is off of his crazy shifts and he’s able to go with me. But Mallory is usually more than eager to fill in for him when he isn’t able to. Sometimes she even convinces Seth to tag along. They are absolutely the cutest couple. If they’d just be a friggin couple already. Everyone knows that they have feelings for each other. Hell, they’re probably both in love. Mallory will never admit it to him, because if she admits it, he’ll for sure push her away. And Seth won’t ever admit it, because he’s just Seth. And he might never be able to put his heart and everything that comes along with it on the line again.
Its crazy how hot pregnant sex can be. I mean my hormones are in over drive and I wonder if I’m going to break Derek by how much I want him. All the new creative positions are fun as well. You have to learn each other’s body in a whole new way. Figure out how you can fit together just right while maneuvering around a swollen belly. Never a dull moment is all I can say. Derek definitely knows how to keep it fresh in the bedroom and for me to always feel like the sexiest damn woman alive. I don’t know how he does it. Must be some kind of voodoo because I don’t think all the tricks Derek possesses are man-made.
I bundle up and make sure the kids do as well as we make our way to the high school gym which is only two blocks from our house. Derek had called me telling me he’d just meet us up there because he had a few more things to do at the station. He also mentioned taking us for pizza afterwards which sounded amazing because let’s face it, I’m not much into cooking lately. Maybe it’s more of the fact that I’m not all about standing on my feet for too long. I’m also trying to avoid bed rest. Not working is already boring enough. I’d literally lose my mind if I was confined to my bed. Pulling into the quickly filling parking lot, I spot Derek’s truck near the back so I park next to him. Without a shadow of a doubt I could spot my amazingly sexy fiancé’ out anywhere. I’m an expert Where’s Derek finder. The kids shuffle past me as we make our way through the doors running right past Derek without a second glance.
“Man, glad to see they missed me.” He pulls me in for a kiss.
“Hmmm. Well, I sure missed you. And your kisses.” I let him lead the way to the bleacher.
As we are sitting there cheering my little man on just like Emma is, Derek fills me in on some news he found out today.
“So, Seth called me earlier while I was at work.” Whooptie do. I’m sure there’s nothing out of the ordinary about that. “Well, a guy that we had been on that Black Falcon tour called him up. This is the guy that Victoria stayed around with instead of leaving when we did. He was in the band Weathered Plains.” Okay the name of that tramp sure got my attention. Not really sure of what to say so I just look at him waiting for him to continue. “Apparently she overdosed last night.”
I gasp. Yeah I hate the bitch, but I wouldn’t wish death on her. “Is she okay?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, he turns his gaze back to the court. “No, she died.” I’m really not sure how I should feel about this. I mean, on one hand I’m actually happy that I don’t have to worry about her popping back into our life trying to start shit, but on the other I do wonder how it might affect Emma. It’s not like she knew her, but still. It was her mom, and now she’s dead. She’ll never have the chance to get to know her one day.
He breaks my thoughts, “I’m actually kind of relieved as horrible as that sounds.” Whew. I’m not the only one. I love that we can always be so in tuned with each other.
********************
A few weeks have passed since we heard about Victoria’s death. Derek and I agreed on not telling Emma. Not that we were trying to keep the news from her, but for the simple fact that she had never met her anyways and right now, at her age, it was safer to wait until she was older. We decided that when the day comes that she’s curious and starts asking about her, that we won’t keep the truth from her.
The past month has really flown by quickly and I’m quite surprised to now be in my eighth month. We had agreed not to find out the sex at our last two appointments. The idea of it being a surprise kind of excited us both seeing that we already had one of each. The last leg of my pregnancy flies by, which is surprising because with Jaxon it seemed to inch by instead, and I find myself getting a little more restless. Uncomfortable. Antsy. Worn out. Like I can’t get enough sleep. I was almost dreading having to take the kids to their practices today. That’s why I decided to text Mallory and ask if she was willing to do it for me.
Me: Hey Mallory. Do you have plans today?
Mallory: Umm besides hanging out in my bed naked all day with Seth?? No.
Me: Thanks for that visual hun.
Mallory: I know you’ve pictured his perfect ass naked before. Don’t even lie.
She’s right. I think it’s a given to visual any lead singers bare ass. Plus, they love the idea of all the ladies undressing them with their eyes as they are melting their panties away with every word sung out of their sultry lips. Not knowing what else to say since she confessed her plans to me, I just don’t reply back right away.
Mallory: What’s up Jes? Are you feelin ok?
Me: Well, I’m just super drained feeling & the kids have their freakin practices & Derek’s at work until 4.
Mallory: Seth said we’ll take em. What time?
Me: I’ll be there in an hour. Their practices start at 2. I totally love you Mallory. In a no homo kinda way!
I go ahead and call Derek letting him know that they’re taking the kids for me so I can chill and rest. Of course he freaks because he hates for me to be alone. But I reassure him that it’s perfectly fine, I’m only taking a nap while they are gone for a measly two hours. I also reassured him that he’d be the first person I called if any pain or sickness began. He is on my speed dial.
Chapter Thirty
Derek
I hate
having to work when Jesika is nearing the end of her pregnancy. Hate the fact that I’m stuck here while she’s eight months pregnant and has the risk of crazy complications. She is very lucky to have made it this far. Hell, I’m lucky too. I’d be stupid to say I wish she wasn’t going to have our baby. I just hate what this could be doing to her. What this could end up doing to us. It’s been hella stressful, but the end result will be worth it. Holding our baby boy…or girl for the first time will be worth all the stress. The look on Jesika’s face when she holds our child for the first time will be worth it. I can picture it perfectly now. The doctor telling us congratulations and placing him or her in Jes’ arms. Her smile will be infectious and the emotions will just radiate off of her. She’d look at me and tell me how much she loves me and say how amazing our baby is and I’d agree.
Since it’s kind of slow around the station, I take time to sit down and text Jesika. She told me how Seth was going with Mallory to take Emma and Jaxon to their routine practices. That’s normally what I’d be doing but since I got stuck working, the new love birds are filling in for me. FYI, don’t go calling them two lovebirds to their face because they will deny it like no other. I’ve known Seth my whole life, and I know when he cares for someone, and he cares for Mallory. They both have serious relationship/commitment issues, hence the reason they aren’t in a committed relationship. I have a feeling with Seth, he’s keeping that title open because he’s really hoping to be called back on tour. We had a good response with our band for the short time we got to play; so he has high hopes. There’s no way in hell he’d choose settling down over being on the road. There’s no way he’d give up that dream. No way.
Me: Hey baby… how are you feeling?
Jesika: Hey babe. I’m good. Just being lazy and resting. How’s work going? I miss you!
Me: Work is slow and blows! I’d give anything to be home being lazy with you. When are the kids’ practices supposed to be over? What time do you expect them back?
Exposed: An Anthology Page 21
