Sensory Alterations

by Meyari McFarland

  "Better?" Kalila asked as she sat beside Tinesha.

  Riyad was nowhere to be seen, no surprise. He was usually first in line for dinner so that he could go out with his friends and occasional lovers. Tinesha wasn't sure why Kalila was there. She should have eaten quite a while ago. Normally, Kalila was among the first to show up for meals though now that Tinesha thought about it over the last week or so Kalila had adjusted her schedule so that they arrived for meals at much the same time.

  Kalila's little smile made Tinesha grin at her, grateful for the company and distraction from her circling thoughts.

  Well, not entirely. Her thoughts switched from worries about the station's structural integrity and how to (and whether) to report the argument she'd overhead to circling around Kalila, how good she smelled and the way her smiles made Tinesha's stomach flutter.

  "Mm-hmm," Tinesha said. "Green peppers make the good list. Nice smells there. Showers are good too. I love the sound and smell of water a lot more than I thought I did."

  "What do you miss the most?" Kalila asked, laughing quietly as she ate her dinner. She set her wagashi, this one shaped like a miniature pink rice ball wrapped in a green leaf, on Tinesha's tray.

  "Earth. Not the planet, the actual soil, the way it smells rich and dark when it's wet," Tinesha said. She raised one eyebrow at Kalila. "You don't like wagashi?"

  "Not really," Kalila admitted. Her cheeks went red at Tinesha's startled stare. "They are rather plain, you see. I prefer something sweeter."

  "Yeah, but they're still a little bit sweet," Tinesha said as she ate Kalila's wagashi and then her own. "Better than nothing, at least as far as I'm concerned."

  They ate in silence, Tinesha slowly leaning closer to Kalila so that she could catch that scent of flowers and green growing things again. It wasn't very subtle so Tinesha wasn't surprised when Kalila blushed brightly towards the end of their meal. Instead of pushing Tinesha away, Kalila smiled shyly at Tinesha while gesturing towards the door. Her scent of flowers mixed with the taste of green peppers and potatoes to give Tinesha the sudden feeling of being home.

  "Would…" Kalila asked, her voice breaking on the first word so she cleared her throat to continue. "Would you like to visit the hydro-ponics with me? They are open to visitors after hours, you know."

  Tinesha's heart leaped into her throat. The sheer thought of getting to see plants, touch them, to be around green growing things had her pulse pounding in her ears. It was an offer that Tinesha would never refuse but to get to visit with Kalila made it all the better and all the more impossible to speak. Words wouldn't come so Tinesha nodded urgently. Kalila laughed softly and gathered up her tray. Her inviting smile had Tinesha on her feet to follow her.

  "Let's go," Kalila said.

  The hydroponics bays were considerably larger than Tinesha had expected. She'd thought that they would be much like the hydroponics on the ship, nothing more than a small room crammed with plants grown so densely packed that they looked like solid walls instead of something appealing. Instead, the station's hydroponic bays were huge, easily larger than the size of a gymnasium back home.

  Unlike the rest of the station, the hydroponics bays' ceiling arched high overhead, three times the height of the hallways outside. Tinesha stared upwards acutely aware of a sense of space that she'd been lacking everywhere except while outside.

  A shiver went up her spine. It felt like a great cave that had been fitted with lights overhead, like a warehouse converted to greenhouse. Air vents ran overhead, large and silvery in the dim light. Water lines ran alongside them, nozzles at regular intervals as if rain sometimes fell from them to water the plants below.

  As soon as they walked through the door Tinesha stopped and moaned. All the smells she'd missed filled her nose. There was the scent of flowers in bloom, pollen thick in the air. A shift of her head gave Tinesha the smell of water on green leaves; that smell that came from plants that had been sprinkled with rain and now were growing as quickly as they could towards the light. She could almost convince herself that there was moss growing under the hydroponics benches; that she might find three inch long slugs creeping up the plant stalks somewhere close by, just like home.

  She smiled up at the ceiling. The lights had been dimmed to recreate evening for the plants. It was very much like walking into a garden at dusk. Beside her, Kalila smiled, her expression completely content as she watched Tinesha pulling in deep lungfuls of air. After a moment, Kalila slowly walked into the hydroponics bay, gesturing for Tinesha to follow her. The floor under their feet was metal grills though the area under the benches looked normal. Tinesha realized after a moment that they had to be walking on the drains.

  "This is beautiful," Tinesha whispered as her head swam with all the scents flooding into her nose. "So nice."

  "There are dwarf apple trees in blossom," Kalila commented.

  "Oh, no, really?" Tinesha asked, happier than she'd been since she arrived on the station. "For real?"

  Kalila laughed, one hand held in front of her mouth as if she was embarrassed to be laughing so loudly. "Yes. It's the first time they have bloomed. We're all quite delighted. Hopefully in a few years we will have fresh apples to eat."

  "Can I see?" Tinesha asked.

  She bounced on her toes despite the way it made the grill under their feet creak and clang. Kalila laughed harder, nodding her approval before turning away towards the far end of the hydroponics bay. Tinesha was grateful for the guide. The benches were set out in rows but they weren't in ranks. They interlocked and ran into each other, forming a living maze that was pure joy to explore.

  Kalila led the way through the ranks of plants in their hydroponic tanks. Tinesha followed, trying to look at everything at once including at Kalila's strong shoulders. The sheer relief of being around this much greenery had her grinning so hard that her face hurt with it.

  Her footsteps slowed as the scent of blooming flowers hit her nose again. Kalila stopped as well, just as they reached a long bench full of purple bearded irises in bloom. Tinesha reached out to caress the delicate flowers, inhaling the heady fragrance. It was nearly intoxicating after so long without natural smells.

  "Irises?" Tinesha asked.

  "The roots are edible," Kalila explained, her eyes smiling even though the rest of her face was calm and contemplative. "Iris is actually a very useful plant. It was grown as a staple food in the Middle East for generations. We use the leaves for the wall coverings, the blooms for scents. Iris is wonderfully productive, very hardy. Plus they are pretty and smell good when they bloom."

  Tinesha laughed, laughing harder when Kalila huffed at her.

  "It is an important consider-ation," Kalila insisted. "The esthetics is part of what will make living on the station bearable. Once it is completed, of course. I look forward to the day when we have plants in all parts of the station instead of only here."

  "I know, I know," Tinesha chuckled. "I'm just… happy. I'm happy, Kalila. This is wonderful."

  To Tinesha's surprise, Kalila reached out and caught her hand. Her fingers were cool with surprising calluses for someone so delicate. When she squeezed Tinesha's fingers the grip was just the right side of painful. Tinesha stared down at Kalila, reassessing many of her assumptions about Kalila. Her heart fluttered in her chest as Tinesha wrapped her fingers around Kalila's hand.

  "You're strong," Tinesha com-mented.

  "Of course," Kalila said, her smile going proud. "I have helped build this station. That takes strength and endurance."

  "Yeah," Tinesha agreed because all she could see was the rich golden brown of Kalila's eyes, brought out beautifully by the deep purple hijab she wore.

  They swayed closer to each other for a moment before Kalila pulled back again, her cheeks staining with a deep blush. She kept her grip on Tinesha's hand as she walked away from the irises. Their thick sweet pollen faded from Tinesha's nose and tongue only to be replaced by the smell of peas and cucumbers, the strangely dusty smell of wheat near
ing full maturity. Every few steps they cycled through the seasons. Every hydroponic tank was its own season, each of them wonderful with its own scents and colors and textures.

  "Those are potatoes," Tinesha exclaimed as they passed ranks of barrels with the familiar green tops poking out.

  "We grow many varieties of potatoes," Kalila agreed. "The soil is not soil. It is compost, but it still is similar to what you missed, yes?"

  Tinesha tugged Kalila into a hug, too full of joy to care that it was incredibly forward and possibly not welcome given how demure Kalila tended to be. To her surprise Kalila sighed and leaned into the hug as if it was desperately welcome. This close, the smell of flowers was far less powerful. What remained was the musky smell that Tinesha realized had to be Kalila's personal scent, the smell of her hair, her skin, her very flesh.

  "Thank you," Tinesha whisp-ered against Kalila's hijab. "Thank you so much."

  Kalila laughed, the sound pained for a moment as her grip tightened to the point that Tinesha's ribs creaked. "You are always welcome, Tinesha. Always."

  She pushed free of Tinesha's arms, brushing her hands down her sides to straighten her top. The thigh length tunic wasn't rumpled though there were a couple of small smudges around the hem as if the plants Kalila worked with had stained it. When Kalila met Tinesha's eyes again her cheeks were warm with a blush but there wasn't any em-barrassment in her expression.

  "Apple trees?" Kalila asked, fluttering one hand in the direction they'd been heading.

  "Yes please," Tinesha answered, her own cheeks bright red with the embarrassment Kalila didn't seem to feel.

  Beyond the potatoes were climbing vines that Tinesha didn't recognize, strung halfway up to the lights overhead. They smelled like beer and pollen hanging in the evening air. Underneath the climbing vines were great shocks of yellow and green striped grass. When Tinesha ran her hand over the blades they cut into her palm like knives. There wasn't any blood but even in the dim light Tinesha could see that the topmost layer of skin had been cut.

  "Oh, do be careful with those," Kalila said, dismayed. "They produce large quantities of oxygen and clean the air of contaminates but the grass is rather harsh."

  "So I see," Tinesha said.

  Her ability to speak fled once more when they passed the edge of the bank of climbing vines and their bladed grass companions. Before her was an apple orchard in full bloom. The dwarf trees stood barely higher than Tinesha was tall but they had apparently been in place long enough for their branches to spread wide over the large heavy pots set into the floor. It truly was like walking into an orchard, complete with grass between the pots and branches slowly waving overhead.

  "They smell so good," Tinesha whispered as she shut her eyes to breath in the delicate fragrance of the apple blossoms. "It's like being on Earth."

  "It is," Kalila agreed. She strolled ahead of Tinesha, hands clasped behind her back. "We all like this area of the gardens. Many of us make a point of spending time here every day."

  The apple trees extended to the end of the hydroponic bay. Tinesha followed Kalila to the far wall, blinking as she realized that this was the other end of the section she'd been working on today. On the other side of the yards-thick disguised metal and plastic wall was vacuum. It didn't feel like they were that close to the outside.

  "There are nut trees and some very young olive trees that we have started," Kalila said. "The olive trees will not bear fruit until long after we are gone but in a hundred years or so they will feed many on the station. When the next section comes online we are discussing tropical fruits and trees. Many of us think that mangos and coconuts would be a pleasant addition to our diet here. At the very least there will be oranges and grapefruit, alligator pears and pine-apple."

  "The next section…" Tinesha said as something frightening tickled at the back of her head. She looked up at the branches waving over their heads and frowned. "Kalila, is there always a breeze in this area?"

  "Yes," Kalila said with one raised eyebrow at Tinesha. "It was not always there. Before they changed the venting for the addition of the new section there was no breeze at all. It is rather localized, sadly. I believe that my supervisor will be asking for the venting to be adjusted to encourage more air flow through the hydroponic bays."

  Tinesha tried to see the vents overhead but the apple tree branches defeated her. She strode out of the orchard and into the central aisle between the apple trees and a neighboring set of hydroponic tanks filled with carrots, onions and beets. Once there she could see the ceiling so high overhead despite the evening's dim lights. Actually, the dimness of the lights made it easier to see the ceiling and the vents hanging from it.

  The vents stood out, their great shining tubes suspended from the ceiling on steel cables. Tinesha counted the air outlets, trying to match the vents to the breeze making the trees sway.

  There was one vent close to the start of the orchard but those trees didn't seem to be swaying as much as the ones closest to the far wall where she and Kalila stood. In fact, that was the last vent over the orchard. The next closest vent was off to their left over the other trees. None of those branches waved. Fear turned the lingering sweetness of dinner's wagashi sour on her tongue.

  "Kalila, we have to leave," Tinesha said. She grabbed Kalila's hand, fear making her squeeze entirely too hard. Kalila gripped back just as hard but her expression was puzzled, not concerned.

  "Why?" Kalila asked.

  "That's not the air system making the breeze," Tinesha replied as a shiver of fear made her skin prickle with sweat.

  It took a moment for Kalila to understand what Tinesha's fear was. The instant she understood, Kalila gasped and ran for the door at the far end of the hydroponics bay. She kept her grip on Tinesha's hand so they ran through the jungle of plants together. When Tinesha stumbled on one of the water pipes Kalila supported her and kept her running. Tinesha pulled out her comm while Kalila ran to the intercom panel built into the far wall.

  "Riyad," Kalila gasped, "I believe there is an air leak in the hydroponics bay."

  "Vince!" Tinesha snapped at the same time, hoping that he still had his comm turned on. "I got a situation in Hydroponics!"

  "What?" Vince and Riyad said at the same time, Vince with confusion and Riyad with horror.

  Within ten minutes there were three teams working to find the leak and fix it. Boss Morishita stalked in, her black hair pulled into such a tight bun on the back of her head that it made Tinesha's head hurt. She waved for Tinesha and Kalila to come over, nodding at the team working inside to keep at it.

  "How'd you find it?" Morishita asked. From stiffness of her posture and the way her hands clenched, someone was going to be charged with criminal endangerment very soon.

  "I missed the smells of home," Tinesha explained. She winced at the arched eyebrow Morishita gave her. "Smell seems to be what I key in on. Anyway, Kalila suggested going to look at the hydroponics bays because that would give me some of the smells I miss."

  "It seemed to work," Kalila interrupted. "I would suggest that we make it known that it is acceptable to visit as long as the plants are not damaged, ma'am."

  "And?" Morishita asked, nodding her agreement with Kalila's suggestion.

  "We got to the apple trees," Tinesha said, "and it was glorious but the trees were moving in a breeze."

  "We had thought that it was the new venting arrangement causing the breeze," Kalila said with enough shame that Tinesha rubbed her back gently. "My supervisor, all of us, actually, were aware of the breeze but it started when the vents were altered so we assumed that that was the cause. It is very mild, very gentle, so none of us saw it as a threat."

  "Except I… I saw Team Eleven not doing the full redundant checks of their seals today," Tinesha said, stomach flipping at tattling on Jacob. "I told my supervisor about it. While I was showering, he and the leader of Team Eleven had an argument about it. Apparently Team Eleven slacked off before and got caught. I was going to ask my supervisor abou
t it tomorrow but…"

  She shrugged. There didn't seem to be much more to say about that. Morishita sighed, rubbing her forehead for a moment. When she looked up her expression was fierce enough that Tinesha swallowed against the sudden dryness of her mouth. Behind her, she could hear the techs murmuring about their findings so far. Apparently someone had noticed an odd decrease in air pressure in the area but the air wasn't bleeding to space. It was bleeding into the complicated layers of insulation inside the walls that protected them from the cold and radiation outside.

  "Go home," Morishita said. "I will expect both of you to submit written reports on what you observed and when you observed it. Get them into the system as soon as possible."

  "Yes, ma'am," Tinesha said, Kalila echoing her.

  Tinesha's rooms seemed exceptionally bleak after the glorious scents of the hydroponics bay. Granted, she'd only been there two weeks. She hadn't even finished unpacking everything that she'd brought. There hadn't been time at first and then Tinesha's home-sickness had made it seem pointless. If she couldn't adjust then why bother unpacking? Soon she would be going back home, her tail between her legs because she couldn't cope with being in space.

  After three attempts to write the report that Morishita wanted, Tinesha gave up. She looked around the blank cream walls and dense brown carpet with distaste. When she packed to come to the station, Tinesha hadn't brought much from home. The weight requirements made bringing things difficult.

  Still, Tinesha pulled out her old Washington Huskies jersey, carefully pinning that to the wall over the couch. The little Hmong banner her mother had bought her for her birthday a couple of years ago made a bright accent by the door. It wasn't much but it made Tinesha feel better as she went back to work on the report. An hour later, Tinesha uploaded it to the system. Come what may, she was done.