by J. N. Pack
Meggie wraps her arms around my waist leaning into me, “This is going to be the best year of our lives.”
I smile even though anxiety is tearing at my stomach. I park my car in the student parking lot and carry my last bag up to the dorm room. Meggie plops down across from me, “Soo… Where the hell did you run off to?”
A smile pulls across my face, “Backpacking.”
She squeals and quickly moves right beside me, “Details girl, I need details.”
Remembering all the wonderful things I explored during the past six months I smile, “You know how we always said we wanted to see the ancient ruins in Greece?”
Her jaw drops, “You did not? I’m so fuckin’ jealous right now!”
I laugh “Meteora, Temples of Olympian Zeus, Ancient Agora of Athens…”
She’s over the moon excited and nearly tackles me from the bed, “You’re such a bitch! I need pictures like right now!”
I pull my phone from my back pocket finding my pictures from Greece. She quietly looks through them smiling, “What else? I mean, where else did you go?”
She continues swiping through the pictures as I talk, “Ireland and France. I tried to spend two months in each place seeing as much as I possibly could in each place. Ireland was so beautiful.”
Her head pops up, “I’m really hating on you right now.”
I laugh knowing full well she’s lying.
There is a knock on the door and both of us swing our heads in the direction of the door. There’s a girl standing there with medium length blonde hair with red underneath. She’s short and has a huge smile on her face. Meggie climbs from the bed and runs to her jumping up and wrapping her legs around her. The girl nearly topples to the floor giggling. Meggie climbs to her feet and yells, “Oh my God, Piper this is LaLa, LaLa this is Piper.”
The girl gives a small wave, “Nice to meet you.” She glances at Meggie, “She going tonight?”
Meggie looks at me, “She sure is.”
I instantly start shaking my head no. “No, no no! I’m so fuckin’ tired from the ride here, plus I’m still jet lagging. I need sleep. Next time.”
Meggie shakes her head, “Don’t make me call Jillian, she’ll have Jaxon here in like ten minutes. You do know he’s just on the other side of campus?”
I smirk, “Yes I know! She’s threatened me with it enough. I don’t need a reminder, but seriously Meggie, I’m so fuckin’ tired. I need to catch up before classes start and then I’ll never get the sleep I desperately need.”
She pokes out her bottom lip and LaLa laughs, “She does that shit to you too?”
I smile, “Since we were five and she figured out she got her way when she did it.”
She smiles, “So yes then?”
I shake my head, “Nope. I’m sleeping and you’re going to party your cute little ass off. Next time, I promise!”
She slouches and pokes her bottom lip out, “Fine, but next time no excuse. You’re fuckin’ going or I’m calling Jaxon and he’ll drag your ass out of here.” A thought crosses her mind, and she smiles, “You know he’s on the team with Tanner?”
I laugh, “Yes I do! I also know what you are going to say before you say it. Jaxon is going to make sure I don’t miss not one of his games now that I’m here, so no need to threaten me. I will be at all of the home games. Only way he would let me miss one is if I was dying.”
She laughs, “I knew he’d come in handy being here this year. Lucky for you, he won’t be at the parties. Shelby’s not into the party life. They usually go to one of the bars in town, but they don’t do the whole get wasted and make regrets thing.”
I smirk, “That would be my Mom’s doing. By now she expects Jaxon to be married and have his wife pregnant. I’m surprised he’s made it this long. He is in his last year of college, so she is probably starting to win the war.”
LaLa’s jaw drops, “That hot as sin guy is your brother.”
Unable to help myself I laugh, “The one and only.”
Meggie laughs, “She’s also Tanner’s ex-fiancé. She left him at the altar.”
LaLa’s jaw almost dislocates when it drops this time. “Are you insane?”
I shrug as Meggie continues, “No worries, they’re still best friends. We all are.”
“I picked the right friends for sure.” LaLa giggles.
I find myself laughing with them. I can feel the anxiety easing, but I know it’s not permanent. At some point I will run into Tanner and it’ll return full force. We’ve been texting ever since the end of my trip in Ireland, but it was strained. I don’t deserve his friendship, I really don’t and once the truth comes out, I may very well not have it.
“It was nice to meet you Piper. I got to go get ready for tonight. Laters!”
I give her a small wave smiling as she leaves the room.
Meggie falls back on the bed beside me. Her head falls to the side looking at me, “You sure you don’t want to come keep me out of trouble tonight?”
“Ha! You mean so you can get me into trouble with you?”
She smirks, “You know me so well.”
A couple hours later I wave as she walks out the door behind LaLa, only leaving after making me promise for the tenth time that the next time she goes out I’m one hundred percent going with her.
Then use the rest of the night to unpack and put away all my things. I fall asleep to the quiet thump of music coming from down the hall. I sleep right through Meggie stumbling in sometime after three a.m.
Chapter 2
His face came to me in my dream that night, like it often does. Only this time he’s looking at me like I did something so horrible and he can no longer stand to look at me. I woke up in a cold sweat. After showering I spent most of the day doing exactly what I told Meggie I needed to do. Catching up on sleep. I was really tired and the past six months are finally catching up with me.
Now it’s eight thirty in the morning and if I don’t drag my ass out of this bed, I’m going to for sure be late for my first class. I pull my thick hair up in a messy bun and put on a pair of ripped low-rise jeans. I put on a tank top and a zipper hoodie that stops just below the top of my rib cage. I quickly grab my backpack and dart out the door while listening to Meggie complain about who sets their classes up so early in the morning. In my rush to class I find a coffee vender and quickly get a cup. I’m rushing through the halls and I make it through the doors just as the bell rings. I squeeze past people to the first empty seat on the back row.
I pull my hoodie up on my head and slip my shades into my backpack. I notice some snickering and glance back only to find a group of girls huddled together to the left of me, staring directly at me. I roll my eyes turning my attention back to the front of the classroom. Every where has them. I don’t know why I thought here would be any different. I dealt with my share of petty betty’s in high school. I choose not to deal with them now. So, I do what I do best and ignore them. I can feel my stomach grumbling before the end of class and the discomfort has me glancing around trying to find something else to occupy my time. My eyes land on a set of familiar eyes and I drop my head. Carlos. Tanner’s best man in the wedding. He didn’t look angry or anything, but I’m really not ready to face anyone who was a guest there that day. I study the syllabus closely like it holds the secrets to all of my dreams. When the professor dismisses us, I quickly make my way to the door determined to not be late for my next class.
I’m like the second person in the room and the first I’m pretty positive is sleeping with their head on the desk. Every few minutes I hear his breathing getting louder. Pretty sure he’s snoring. I walk down to the second row and take a seat right by the walkway. I take out a notebook and an ink pen. I’m tapping the pen on the desk as it starts to fill up. When the professor introduces himself at the front of the classroom, I allow myself to focus my attention on him. He’s an older man with white hair and a long white beard. He’s in khaki shorts and a Led Zeppelin tee shirt. I like this guy. He pas
ses out the syllabus for the class and immediately goes into his lecture. By the end of class, I’m starving. When he dismisses us, I check the messages on my phone and thank God, Meggie told me to meet her in the mess hall.
I grab a plate and take the seat at the table with her. The food doesn’t look that great, but honestly, I’d eat prison food and like it right this minute. She’s got a very unhealthy-looking salad in front of her, nibbling on it. I listen to her gab about her first class this morning and about how I need to get rid of the classes I have before ten a.m. I snort out a laugh and keep eating. I got early classes so that I am able to do my assignments after class and I can explore on the weekends. I roll my eyes at myself. Meggie is never going to allow that to happen. She’s going to try and have me at a different party every weekend. If I have to get wasted and burn brain cells, she’s going to for sure go fuckin’ hiking with me. I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ve always loved getting out and exploring. My dream was to see all of the ancient ruins in Greece and Ireland and France and I’ve made it through over half of everything I wanted to explore, but there is so much more. Even here. I’ve looked up all kinds of stuff to explore and I plan on seeing it all before I graduate. Some people call me a nerd and I’m okay with that.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out and open the text message.
Tan: Did you make it? Didn’t see you with Meggie last night. Figured she’d have dragged you out against your will of course.
I smirk because he knows us so well.
Piper: I’m here and she tried.
I take a couple bites of my food when she glances over at me, “Who’s that?”
“Tanner. He was checking to see if I made it.” I show her my phone. She laughs, “He knows us too fuckin’ well.”
Tanner: Awesome! We need to hangout soon. I miss you like crazy.
I smile at his text.
Piper: Party this weekend? Meggie made me promise.
Tanner: LMAO I wouldn’t miss it. She’s going to have you so fuckin’ wasted I may have to remind you of your own name.
I snort. He’s not lying. She is going to try her best to get me snockered.
Meggie looks at me and points to my phone, “Seriously though, what’s up with you and Tanner?”
I tilt my head and smile a half-hearted smile, “He’s always been one of my best friends.”
She shoves another bite of salad in her mouth and looks over the table at me, “Don’t give me that BS. I know you guys are best friends, but…”
I lower my head and myself in the chair, “I fucked it up. I don’t regret it because I still don’t know what I want, but I fucked up our friendship.”
She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand that slightly shook, “It’s not fucked up.”
I slide my hand back and drop both of my hands in my lap, “If you knew what I’ve done, you’d hate me too.”
She laughs bitterly, “Bullshit! You could kill someone, and I’d still love you. Tanner is the same way when it comes to you.”
I stand and pull my bag over my shoulder. I look down at her one last time before leaving for my next class, “He should hate me, I find it hard not to.”
She watches me with concern all over her face as I dump my almost full plate into the trash and head for my last class.
After my last class I walk around town exploring all the little no name shops. I was born into money, but I’d rather shop in small boutiques than buying all the best brands. Don’t get me wrong I have a closet full of that junk at home from my parents and my shopaholic sister, but I’ve never bought it for myself. I’m just not into that. I walk around for hours and hours. After not eating more than a bite or two in the mess hall, my stomach is doing a lot of grumbling. I stop in one of the bars on the corner and order a burger and fries. I order Meggie one as well even though I know she’s only going to pick it apart. I enjoy my food in a quiet corner in the bar while watching some football game on the TV. I’m not a fan of football, but I do watch it. My ex and my brother were both big in football, so I mean it comes along with that.
I make my way back to campus and up to my dorm where I find Meggie and LaLa trying on different outfits. Meggie is grinning from ear to ear as she tosses a bag at me. After looking inside, I gasp. “What the actual fuck is this?” I hand her the plate of food and take the garment out of the bag.
She is grinning from ear to ear, “It’s a Halloween costume silly.”
After holding it up, being a smartass, “Where’s the rest of it?”
She smirks, “Hahaha that’s it. It’s cute.”
I toss it at her and smile, “You’ll look great in it.”
She laughs, “It’s not mine!”
An evil grin crosses her face as she says, “I’m going to be Rogue from X men.”
LaLa smiles, “I’m going to be Wonder Woman.”
I’m about to fall over laughing when it hits me, “no fuckin’ way Meggie. You know better.”
She pokes out her bottom lip, “Come on, be a champ. It’s only one fuckin’ night.”
I roll my eyes looking down at the costume, “I don’t know about that. Plus, this shit is barely there. I’ll freeze to death.”
She starts jumping up and down with excitement, “You’ll be fine! We’re going to look so fuckin’ hot.”
I shake my head and drop down on my bed. She’s is too much sometimes, but God knows I love her. She stands and slumps down on the bed beside me with that concerned look back on her face. “You shouldn’t hate yourself Pip. No matter what you’ve done, you’ve always been good. Too good. Nothing you’ve done can take away from that.”
Not wanting to talk about it anymore I just shrug her off. “Love you Meggie.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around my waist, “I love you too.” She climbs from the bed and walks over to where LaLa is still checking out some of the different outfits they brought. I grab the newest book by Sheridan Anne on my kindle and get lost in it. I mean I can seriously read anything she writes.
“What the fuck?” I find myself saying out loud. Both Meggie and LaLa look in my direction and I can feel my cheeks heating in embarrassment. “Sorry.”
Meggie laughs and turns back to what they were doing. They only call my attention to look when they put on a new outfit. Thankfully they don’t ask me to try anything on. I hate telling Meggie no, but that would be a hell no. I get lost in my book again and don’t look up again until Meggie drops down on my bed beside me.
“You still do that?” she asks.
I glance up with my glasses sliding down my nose. I’ve wore glasses since I was twelve. They used to embarrass me, but now I only have to wear them when I’m reading. So, pretty much only in class and in here when I’m trying to read.
“What? Reading? It’s pretty cool. It’s this thing where you open a book and say the words that are written on the pages. You should try it sometimes. I mean your parents did pay for some pretty awesome books when you started here. You can start there.” I ask knowing very well that’s not what she is talking about.
She giggles and rolls her eyes, “No, I mean getting so caught up in it that you forget where you are.”
I lift the corner of my mouth in a smile, “And you still eat like a bird.” I glance at her plate where she’s only eaten two fries and a piece of lettuce.
She looks at the plate and groans about it being too much. I laugh knowing exactly what she was going to say. She is seriously so tiny. She’s healthy don’t get me wrong. She’s not one of those girls that pukes up everything she eats. She just gets full fast, but she eats more often than I do so maybe that’s it. She ends up falling asleep in my bed babbling about who knows what. Not long after I fall asleep too.
Chapter 3
Wednesday night was one of the worst nights I had in a while. I dreamed of him. That wasn’t the bad part. The horrible part was the look in his eyes every time he looked at me. He was filled with hate and anger. I woke up Thursday morning g
asping for air. I woke up several times throughout the night, but every time I fell asleep, it was him I saw. I was having trouble shaking the trembles this morning and found myself nauseated. After emptying my stomach in the bathroom, I have to make a mad dash for my French class. After a mad dash down the halls, I’m finally standing in front of the door and I have to take several breaths to ease the churning in my gut. Once I open the door it’s too late to turn around and climb back in my bed. After a moment, I finally push the door open and step inside where every eye in the room turns my direction. I freeze in my tracks. The instructor turns her attention on me and my heart stutters in my chest. “Tu es en retard.” She announces. Unable to speak I glance around the class again. When a pair of worried eyes meet mine across the room, I quickly glance back to the instructor who proceeds to shout at me in French, “Ne restez pas là. Prends ta place. Soyez à l’heure la prochaine fois Madame Burrows.”
I drop my chin and quickly reply in French, “Pardon. Je serai à l’heure pour l’instant. J’espère que vous, sauf mes excuses.” I rush to the closest seat I can find and pull my notebook from my bag as she says, “Très bien alors.” And then continues on with her instructions. I can feel eyes burning into the side of my face and my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I can’t bring myself to look knowing its him texting me. He shouldn’t be concerned with me. I am the last person he should be concerned over. I keep my head down in my notebook the entire class and afterwards the instructor stops me before I can make my escape, “Miss Burrows.” I turn my attention away from the door to her and I make my way to her desk. “I’m so sorry, I was a little under the weather when I woke this morning.”
She smiles brightly waving it off. “No, no I shouldn’t have been so tough on you. I just wanted to tell you that I’m impressed with your French. How long have you been studying French?”
I smile even though I feel like hurling. “Two years in high school, but I spent two months in France backpacking before I came here.”
