by J. N. Pack
“You know she really likes you. Why? I don’t fuckin’ know.” Meggie.
Tanner points at her, “Go home Meggie. Carlos is going to walk you home. Stay the fuck away from Marie.”
She flips him off and starts stalking down the sidewalk with LaLa and Carlos following close behind.
Tanner drops to the porch beside me. I glance at him and smirk. He rolls his eyes, “Don’t be a dick!”
I laugh, “Me? Noooo, never!”
He stares off into space, “You know I need to be clear about something.” He never looks at me. “Piper’s not at fault for what happened between us. She’s not the monster you’re making her out to be. She may be taking the fault, but she’s no monster.” He glances at me and then back at the street, “You keep pushing her and she will break, and nobody wants a broken Piper.” He picks his beer up and takes a swig before continuing, “When Piper and I were born our parents were best friends. Hell, they still are. We were pushed on each other. By now they had planned for Piper to be barefoot and pregnant. She’d have never been able to experience anything.”
I look at him but can’t find any words to say so I just stare. “We were… We are best friends. I can see what you’re doing to her, eating at her. She’ll never open her mouth. She’ll never defend herself to you. She’s not the type of person who will fight back. She’ll take everything until it kills her on the inside.” He takes another drink and stands, “Word of advice…”
I look up at him waiting to hear what he has to say, “If you love her… hell if you like her at all, love her better. Stop tearing at her, because when she breaks, she’ll be lost to us all.”
He tosses his bottle in the bushes and starts walking in the direction his girl and friends had gone. I can hear him talking to someone down the street and a few minutes later Mannex comes around the corner. He smirks when he sees me sitting on the steps. He walks over and drops down on the steps beside me.
“You got something you need to say too?”
He laughs, “You’re a fuckin’ idiot!”
I roll my eyes, “Not the first time I heard that, but what the fuck did I do this time?”
Mannex stands, “Keep pushing and you’re going to push her further than you wanted.”
I glare at him, “What the fuck does that mean?”
Mannex shakes his head, “It means you’re an idiot.” He shakes his head and starts to walk away, but stops, “Oh, by the way, your girl has severe anxiety. Worse than Mom’s. She had an anxiety attack on the way back to the dorms. She’s on some kind of meds for it.” He turns and walks away.
My gut clenches. Anxiety. My girl has anxiety. Was she my girl? At one point that’s all I had wanted. The one night we had together was one of the best nights of my life. Talking to her was everything to me. Then I found out she was getting married. I backed away even though it was the last thing I wanted. Then she texted me that day and asked me to meet her at the altar. What the hell am I doing? Besides assuring that she fuckin’ hates me when all of this is over. I toss my bottle in the bushes and head back to the dorms. I smell like a brewery, I’m sore and I’ve got to get my head together.
Piper
The next morning Meggie and I both sit bolt upright in the bed when someone starts pounding on the door.
“Open this door right now Piper. I told you I was coming last night, and you stayed out all hours of the night. Open this door right now!” and it’s followed by more pounding.
“Shit.” I groan.
Meggie grabs her blanket and pillow and starts to the door, “Going to Tanners, text me when she’s gone.”
I wave her off as she opens the door and lets my mom in. My mom takes one look at her and shakes her head as Meggie stalks down the hall and across campus to Tanners room.
Mom rushes in and to the side of the bed. She shoves some papers in my face, “What is this Piper?”
I’m still waking up and my brain’s not completely functioning yet, “Papers Mom. Looks like papers.” Before I know it, she grabs them from the bed and starts swatting me with them.
“I’m not joking. This is not a joke. What is this Piper?” she yells at me.
I sit up in the bed wiping sleep from my eyes and then putting my glasses on and looking at the papers.
“Tell me this isn’t for what it says?” she asks with pain in her eyes.
I read over all of the words that I knew were on there and finally nod.
She drops to the edge of the bed, “Where? Why? What happened?”
A tear forms in the corner of my eye and I swipe it away, “Mom I can’t talk about this right now. I can’t tell you what you want to hear. Just know it happened and I’m dealing with it, but I can’t talk about it.” Another tear falls and she reaches out putting her hand on my knee and giving it a squeeze, before getting closer and wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tightly. She holds me for a few minutes. She leans back, “I’m sorry Piper.”
I shake my head, “It’s fine Mom. I’m sorry you found out like this.”
She waves me off, “No Piper I’m sorry about how I treated you after you left Tanner. I could’ve been there for you if I hadn’t been too busy being angry.” Another thought occurs to her and she turns to me, “You went through that alone?”
I glance away knowing this is going to break her heart even more. I nod.
Tears fill her eyes, and she throws her arms around me again. “I’m so sorry my sweet child.” I try to hold it together, but I needed this from my mom. The tears fall and its almost impossible for me to get them under control. We sit like that for a while. Finally, she says, “I need to go so I can see your brother before I leave. Are you okay? I mean do you need anything?”
I shake my head no and whisper, “I’m fine, but Jaxon’s not in the dorms. He spent last night with Shelby’s family. Her dad took him hunting this morning.”
Her hand goes to her heart, “Dear sweet baby Jesus. You kids are going to kill me. Please tell him to call me and let me know he made it out alive.”
I smirk at her dramatics. At the door she hugs me and kisses my forehead, “I love you baby girl.”
“I love you too Mom.” She leaves and I lock the door behind her.
I climb back in bed and text Meggie.
Piper: She’s gone. It’s safe,
A few minutes later she texts back.
Meggie: I’m staying over here for a while, you good?
Piper: I’m fine, just going back to sleep.
Meggie: Call if you need me.
I don’t bother responding because knowing her she’s already back asleep. I plug my phone on the charger and cuddle under the blanket. I check the time seeing that it’s only eight in the morning. I groan and drop my phone back on the nightstand. I toss and turn for an hour before I’m able to fall back asleep.
***
My insides are twisted and I’m lying on a hospital bed. I look down at the gown and I’m covered in blood from my stomach down. A shiver wracks my body and I try to cry out for help, but no sound comes. A doctor comes in and he’s standing at the end of the bed flipping through papers. He never once looks at me. When the doctor leaves. Caelan comes. He’s standing at the end of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest. I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks and I try to cry out for someone to help me again, but there’s still no sound. The images switch up and I’m in the water again reaching for Caelan. “Easy bitch!” I’m thrashing my arms back and forth trying to get to him. “Lousy fuck.” I’m getting closer and closer and I finally reach him, but he holds me under the water laughing as I choke on the water.
Chapter 11
When Monday rolls around, I’m not ready. I’m so far from ready I consider skipping. I’m starting to understand Meggie’s need for sleep. I’m up early so on the way to class I search out the first coffee vender I can find. Quickly shoving a pill in my mouth and washing it down with coffee. Instead of keeping the bottle in my jacket pocket this time I open my b
ackpack and shove them inside of it. My stomach grumbles at me, not at all happy to have coffee instead of breakfast. I’m sure I’ll pay for it later. I’m almost to class, a couple more steps and I’d have made it.
“Buffalo butt, you look like you’re in a hurry.” And the giggles start.
I glance over my shoulder and find Kenzie and her friends laughing at my expense. I’ve never been big, so I take their words with a grain of salt and start to turn away when they start again, “Tanner said he was glad she left him at the altar, said he didn’t want to be tied down with someone who has to down pills to function.”
I stumble back a step and my vision blurs. What the fuck? I thought I had been discreet with my meds. Nobody knows about the meds, but me… and now Mannex and Caelan. Why would someone tell these girls anything about me? It’s not like I come here looking to hurt anyone. My secrets were out, and someone was twisting them for their pleasure. I can’t let anyone find out about France. This had to be Caelan. Tanner doesn’t even know I’m on the anxiety meds. My own family doesn’t even know. This was Caelan!
I stumble through the rest of the day and when it’s finally over I rush back to the dorms and hide in our room the rest of the day. I finished my assignments that were due on that day and started on the assignments for the rest of the week.
When Meggie comes in that afternoon, she’s watching me closely. She eases down to her bed, “You okay Pip?”
I glance up at her and nod my head, “I’m fine. Why?”
“Because I haven’t seen you all day. You didn’t answer my texts from the morning or this afternoon.” Maggie.
I pull my glasses off and put them in my lap and pick up my phone showing her I had it turned off. “I needed quiet. So, I turned my phone off. Sorry.”
She gives me a weak smile, “You’d talk to me if you needed me, wouldn’t you?”
I blow my hair out of my face and force a smile, “Always!”
She climbs in the bed beside me and wraps her arms around me, “Wanna go with me and Tan to get pizza?”
I shake my head, “Naw, you guys have fun. I’m just going to work on my assignments. I don’t want to get behind.”
She looks like she wants to argue about it, but decides against it, “Fine! But you and me and sushi is happening this week!” She’s looking at me expectantly, so I smile and nod. Everything that is expected of me.
The rest of the week goes by slow and I avoid everyone and everything. I don’t want another confrontation with Caelan. I don’t want those girls talking about me. I don’t want to be called easy or… or… or a lousy fuck. Now Kenzie and her girls are making it seem like I’m a druggy and hell at this point are they wrong? I have to take one of those stupid pills at least three times a day, just so I don’t have a panic attack. I’ve tried the exercises, but it just seems to be getting worse. I’d cry, but I honestly just don’t have the energy for that. I’m not sleeping because I’m woke up throughout the night every night with nightmares. Once they come and I’m awake, I’m too afraid to close my eyes, because I know what is going to happen. Every night in my sleep Caelan either drowns me himself or watches me sink. A piece of me dies every time I fall asleep. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to the night we met in that bar. Sometimes I wish I’d have just walked away or never even gone to the bar to begin with. I was just some girl in a bar, and he was a stranger with a pretty smile. Now I’m the Broken Bride with a shattered heart.
Caelan
I’ve looked for her all week, only getting glimpses here or there. Or one second, she’s there and the next she’s gone. I’ve showed up in the mess hall every day and sat with my brother and Tanner hoping she’d show, so I could at least see her, but she never showed. Meggie looked angry and more than that she looked worried. That in turn worried me. I wanted to ask, but what could I say. I’d already called her a lousy fuck; I’d already called her easy. What could I say that wouldn’t make me look like an even bigger ass?
Tanner keeps looking over at Meggie who keeps looking at her phone like she’s expecting someone to message her at any minute. His eyes cut to mine which draw her’s to me. Oh yeah, she’s pissed. The look she gave me said she could slit my throat and bathe in my blood right now. Did I blame her? Nope! I am an ass. I was angry and I tried to hurt her like I was hurt. Mannex has been pretty far up my ass the last couple of days asking me what I was going to do? I honestly think my little brother likes her. I can’t blame him, she had me twisted after meeting her the first night. For the first time in my life, I have a regret and it’s not meeting a girl in a bar. It’s not snatching her as soon as she bolted from the church and dragging her to the front with me.
I lower my head playing with the food on my plate. Kenzie choses that exact moment to walk by and rub her hand across my shoulder and neck. Everyone at the table quiets and turns to look over at me. Meggie starts to stand, and Tanner grips her hand and drags her away from the cafeteria. Mannex just gets up and walks away tossing nearly his whole plate of food in the trash. Kenzie leans over in front of me giving me a solid view of her cleavage, “Hey babe. Miss me?”
My stomach knots and I glance around the cafeteria. “Look Kenzie, I don’t want you. I don’t want anything to do with you really. Can you just back off?”
Her shoulders straighten and she leans back crossing her arms over her chest, “This because of that pill junkie?”
My stomach tightens even more, “What the fuck are you talking about Kenzie?”
She rolls her eyes, “Don’t act like you don’t know. I saw you take the pills from her in the court the other day. She the reason you don’t want to fuck with me anymore?”
I push to my feet in anger and growl an inch from her face, “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Kenzie. Best thing for you to do is back all the way the fuck off.”
Her lip flattens and she leans forward with her arms crossed over her chest, “Or what big boy?”
Anger starts to bubble and a heat I haven’t felt in a long time starts to circle in my stomach, “You don’t want to know the answer to that Kenz. You really don’t. Back off of Piper Burrows!” I turn and walk away before I do something I would regret, like choking the life out of Kenzie right there in front of everyone in the mess hall. Girl has a fuckin’ death wish.
When I walk out into the hall, I overhear Tanner and Meggie talking. Meggie is upset. “Tanner, something’s wrong with her. I’ve tried to talk to her. She says she doesn’t want to get behind, but I looked through some of her papers while she was sleeping, which she doesn’t do often might I add, and she’s like three weeks ahead.”
Tanner. “Meggie you know you can’t make her talk. She has to be ready.”
I can hear the tears in Meggie’s voice, “But… but… but she’s not eating. The only thing I see her ingest is coffee and water. She’s lost weight too. She smiles, but the smile never reaches her eyes.”
“How long Meggie?” Tanner asks.
“This week has been worse, but ever since we got here. She would forget to eat. She’s always tired and now she has dark rings around her eyes. Sometimes she seems confused or just lost. I think somethings wrong.” Meggie.
I step around the corner and they both know I heard as their heads swing my direction. I start towards them to demand answers and stop myself knowing that I’ve probably made the problems she’s having worse. Meggie’s eyes had widened, and Tanner was just watching as I turned and walked away. Today’s Thursday and I know she has Math this afternoon. I make my way towards the math building and wait in the shadows. I need to see her for myself. At three forty-five a small girl with a hoodie on rushes towards the building. She drops something and when she turns my heart stops in my chest. She looks over exhausted and has some really dark rings surrounding her eyes. I want to go to her, but I know that’s the last thing she needs right now. I watch as she gathers everything she’s dropped, and she looks around confused. She then turns back towards the math building and rushes t
o get to her class.
Everything inside me is telling me to snatch her out of that class and make her eat something and take some sleep meds and get a full eight-hour sleep, but who am I to do that?
“I’ve never seen her like that.” I turn at Tanner’s voice.
I lower my head and give my head a shake, “You know her better than I do.”
Tanner smiles and shakes his head, “Do I?”
I glance at him, “You have to talk to her Tanner. She needs help.”
Tanner smirks and lowers his head shaking it. “Well help her then.” As he walks by me.
He meets Carlos across the court, and they disappear into the English building.
The rest of the day and the week I worry about her. I sit with everyone in the mess hall every day and she never shows. Meggie eyes me like I’m a piranha. Tanner looks at me expectantly and my brother does his best to keep Kenzie away from me and the table. He even talked the twins from the team into sitting with her in the mess hall one day to keep them away.
Saturday morning when I wake up, I have the urge to find her to beg her to talk to me, but I don’t. Tanner said she wouldn’t talk if you pushed her and I don’t want to push her. I’ve caused enough damage. I’ll go to the party Carlos is throwing and I’ll get drunk and laid, maybe. Then I’ll forget this shit. All of this shit.
Chapter 12
Caelan
Only I didn’t forget and I’m pretty sure I told Meggie I loved her, and I told Tanner I loved him and I’m pretty positive I told both of them I loved Piper. I was beyond drunk. I was, Mannex at the beach driving down Ocean Boulevard naked, drunk. The last thing I remember before waking this morning was Mannex throwing me across his shoulder and me yacking down the back of his shirt. Fun times. I woke up in a room I didn’t recognize this morning, half dressed. I looked around for any signs of female parts or clothing. There was none thank God. I find my clothes hanging over the back of a chair and lucky for me they’re clean. After pulling them on, I move for the door ready to get the hell out of here before some chick pops up wanting seconds, but once I’m in the hallway I freeze hearing voices down the hall.
