by J. N. Pack
She giggles as we sneak down the hall and I nearly fall back on my ass when I just miss smacking face first into LaLa. I grip her hand and drag her down the hall behind us.
LaLa loudly says, “What the fuck are we doing?”
“Shhh…” I whisper.
Meggie giggles, “I feel like we’re in high school again. Sneaking out past your mom.”
I roll my eyes. Once we get out the front door, we take off like our asses are on fire. We don’t stop running until we’re a block from our dorms. We almost collapse short of breath.
“Bitch!” LaLa says breathless, “I can’t run in these shoes.”
Meggie is trying to catch her breath and giggling at the same time. “Oh, but you did. Be glad too… If Mrs. B caught you at the dorms, she’s worse than the feds.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m laughing right along with her. She knows my mom almost as well as I do.
Jaxon: Wish me luck sis!
Piper: Good luck! You don’t need it, but still!
Jaxon: Thanks!
Piper: Just a warning… Mom’s on her way to campus and may stop by to see you.
Jaxon: Haha she can try. Going to Shelby’s parents tonight after the game. Her Dad is taking me hunting tomorrow. I’m kind of scared. If you don’t see me again you know what happened.
Piper: Have fun with that! Lol
I turn my attention back to the direction we’re walking and when we’re in front of the stadium I suck in a breath. This place is huge. I mean the stadium at our high school was big, but not like this. This is amazing. At the gate they scan our ID’s and we get in free because we’re students. We climb about halfway up and take our seats. Until the Alligator mascot runs out and the crowd goes bananas. Including the crazy chicks that followed me to the game. We climb in our seats so we can see above the crowd.
The team charges out with Jaxon leading in the number forty-four uniform. I yell right along with the others as each player runs out. A few more players come out and then comes Tanner followed by Caelan who doesn’t have his helmet on and has his head dropped like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I watch him. I catch Meggie watching me. I glance at her and she smiles leaning into me. I give her a smile even though it’s the last thing I felt like doing right now. His number is sixty-nine and I kind of smirked at that. Tanner’s is number fifteen. He uses the same number he used in high school. I glance over at Meggie who is sporting a number fifteen jersey and I find myself smiling. She has sparkles in her eyes as she cheers for Tanner and I know without a doubt that my best friends love each other.
I turn my attention back to the field and Caelan pulls his helmet over his head. He’s not looking at me, but he’s looking out into the crowd like he’s looking for someone. Then his eyes land on Kenzie and I force myself to turn away. I can’t see his reaction to her. The next time I look at the field I search out my brother, who is awesome by the way. He goes out on that field and he leaves everything he’s got on the field. He’ll be famous one day for football.
The announcer declares the beginning of the game and I have no idea what’s happening on the field. I find myself jumping up and down when one of the guys gain yards or when the team scores a touchdown.
We won thirty-seven to thirteen. I was hyped up. Everyone’s chanting and jumping around as we make our way towards the gate. Meggie squeals running to the four-foot fence that separates the crowd from the team and Tanner meets her there grinning as he leans across the fence kissing him. I smile because what else am I to do. They are happy and I am happy for them. LaLa and I are standing back waiting when I hear another squeal and see Kenzie waving at Caelan, who smirks at her. His eyes land on me and the smirk fades. I lower my head and when I finally look up again, he’s gone. Jaxon notices me while he’s going to the back and waves before going to the locker room.
Kenzie’s friend shoulder checks me while walking past. My spine straightens and I ignore Kenzie and her other friend as they walk by giggling at me. My hands tremble and I can feel the anxiety start twirling in my gut. I just wish they’d leave me alone. Another girl walks by, “Fat ass!” Her friend giggles, “Cael said she’s a lousy fuck too.” And starts giggling. I can feel my cheeks start to redden and suddenly going back to the dorms and facing my mom doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea.
LaLa leans into me, “Don’t listen to them. They laugh because they’re jealous and know they’ll never compare to you, so they try to make you feel worthless.”
I smirk looking off towards where the team left the field, “They don’t have to try too hard.”
She glances at me and then back at Meggie. “Look I know you don’t consider me your friend. Not like them, but can I tell you something?”
I glance at Meggie and Tanner talking over the fence, “Sure.”
“I don’t know what happened or what you went through, but what I do know is, you’re not worthless. Those two people would move heaven and earth for you. Nobody that has people who love them that much could possibly be worthless.” She says smiling.
I smile even though I don’t feel it.
Meggie smiles turning to us and rushing back, “We’re going to the after party at a house off campus. Tan is texting me the address. He’s going to meet us there.”
“I dunno…” I start, but I’m cut off by Meggie grabbing one arm and LaLa grabbing the other and dragging me behind them.
When we get to the parking lot a text comes through on all three of our phones from Tanner sending the address. Meggie giggles. LaLa laughs, “Well now! I guess he was making sure we got the address.”
I find myself grinning with them. We start the direction of the partying and maps on my phone says it’ll take us twenty minutes to get there. We talked animatedly about the game the whole way there. Once we’re standing on the sidewalk outside the house, we all become somewhat nervous. If it wasn’t for the music pumping inside and the people hanging around the lawn the place would look abandoned. Like the grass hasn’t been cut in a year and the person who owned it never cleans it. It desperately needed a cleaning.
Meggie nervously says, “Tanner said do not take drinks from anyone!” and starts pulling us towards the house. Well shit!
Chapter 9
We walk in and the tension eases as we start recognizing people from school. We make our way to the kitchen and are searching the vast array of alcohol spread out on the counter. There are about a dozen different hard liquors, beer, and fruity drinks. The counters also have mixers spread out across the counter. I notice a powdery white substance that was dusted across one part of the counter and I’m going to assume that was cocaine. Meggie finds some cups that haven’t been open yet and hands one to each of us.
“What are we drinking tonight girls?” glance between the two of us.
I widen my eyes, “If I’m going to be here, I’m going to need something strong.” I grab a bottle of Jaeger and an unopened can of Red Bull from the counter with a couple plastic shot glasses. I pour our cups half full of red bull and fill the shot glass with jaeger and pass them around.
Meggie starts grinning, “Jaeger Bombs, FUCK YEAH!”
LaLa looks confused so I demonstrate, “Drop the shot glass into the cup and then chug what’s in the cup, like this.” I drop the shot of Jaeger into the cup and turn it up draining everything from the cup into my mouth and swallowing.
Her eyes widen and she starts laughing, “Damn girl! Here I was thinking you were a saint.”
I pour myself another so I can do it with them.
Meggie is bent at the hip laughing, “Nawww she is far from a saint. She used to get me and Tanner both in so much trouble. She used to party like a Rockstar.”
I laugh and cheers them both and we drop the shot glasses and throw the drinks back. LaLa nods, “Fuck yeah, that was good.”
Then I mix each of us an amaretto sour to sip on. Impressed LaLa applauses me.
“My girl should have been a bartender, she’s better than most of
the ones at the local bars here and back home.” Meggie.
I laugh bitterly, “Yeah I’ll remember that when my mom cuts me off.”
Meggie laughs, “Mr. Skip would never let that happen. You are the apple of his eye.”
I roll my eyes even though she’s right. I have always been Daddy’s little girl. We leave the kitchen and stop to talk to a couple of people we know from our classes. About an hour after we got here, we’re feeling pretty good, Tanner and the other football players arrive. All three of us are dancing and Tanner and a couple of the other football players stop just inside the door to watch. Meggie squeals when she sees Tanner and runs to him. He grins as she jumps up wrapping her legs around him and leaning into his kiss. I watch as a couple other players walked in, but when my eyes collided with Caelan’s I turn away. LaLa and I disappear to the kitchen and I mix a couple Hurricane’s for me and her. The anxiety has my stomach clenching and I down the whole glass and fix another. LaLa is looking at me wide eyed, “You sure that’s a good idea. I saw the alcohol you put in this thing. You’re going to be snockered.”
I laugh because she said snockered. For some reason that word was hilarious to me. “I’m good I promise. I used to drink these all the time. I’m fine.”
She looks at me sideways, “I dunno, but we are about to find out. You start humping the couch and I’m dragging your ass out of here.”
She grabs my arm and drags me away from the kitchen before I start mixing more. When we are in the living room, I find Meggie and Tanner. They are looking off to the side of the living room and whispering with serious looks on their face. I glance at what they’re looking at and I wish I hadn’t. There’s a brunette straddling his lap leaning forward kissing him. My stomach drops to the floor. I fight the feelings circling in my gut and Meggie and Tanner both come to me.
“We can leave right now.” Tanner.
“Yeah, we can get out of here. There are parties all over campus tonight.” Meggie says encouragingly.
I shake my head never taking my eyes off of them. The worse thing that could happen right now is for drunk upset Piper to show up and guess what. That bitch just walked in. I spot Mannex across the room and Tanner follows my sight. “Oh shit.”
Tanner is shaking his head as I head back to the kitchen and fix two more hurricanes quickly finishing the one in my hand. I carry two back into the living room area and walk over to Mannex handing him a cup. He grins, “Thanks!”
He looks a little confused, “What’s up?”
I grin and giggle, “You looked thirsty.”
He looks over my shoulder at Tanner and Meggie who are laughing, Tanner smirks and shrugs his shoulders. Mannex turns his attention back to me. We sit on a small couch flirting and talking for I know thirty minutes before I drag him to the dance floor and make him dance with me. I have to give him credit, he’s good too. I’m sweating and dancing around him with my head thrown back having the time of my life. He’s having fun too. I glance in Caelan’s direction and his eyes are cold. He’s watching every move I fuckin’ make. Our eyes collide and I don’t lower my head as I dance with his brother. Caelan leans forward whispering in the ear of the girl on his lap. She nods and giggles. Then she gets up from his lap and disappears into the kitchen. Mannex leans forward whispering in my ear, “He angry enough yet?”
I smirk and nod my head.
He whispers, “Good because you’re killing me. I got to get another drink.”
I lean my head back and whisper, “Thank you.” In his ear.
He leaves the dance floor just as the song ends and I turn away from Caelan. Meggie and LaLa join me dancing. When Really from Da Hood by Plies drops so do we. All the guys standing in the vicinity are watching and enjoying the show. I find Caelan once more and he looks uncomfortable. He’s now standing and looks like he’s fixing to walk in this direction when I accidentally bump into someone and an ice-cold drink is running down the side of my shirt. My nipples instantly perk and I turn to find Caelan’s bimbo grinning. What the fuck? She leans forward whispering, “Next time you want to look at my man, just remember I’m coming with hands not a drink.”
A crowd had gathered, and I’m stunned. I find myself laughing and the girl steps back. I grab the bottom of my brother’s jersey and start pulling it over my head, when I hear Caelan laugh cynically at the edge of the circle that had surrounded us. I freeze so that I can keep my eyes on him while he says what he says. “Go ahead. Show everyone how easy you are.”
My heart drops and Tanner steps towards him, “Cael…” Meggie pulls him back waiting for me to react. A tear forms in my eyes and I’m doing everything I can to keep it from falling. I pull the jersey over my head and straighten the black tank top I had beneath it, tossing the jersey at him. I turn grabbing a bottle of tequila off of a table and heading towards the kitchen. I thought I was alone, but then he speaks, “I fuckin’ showed up…” I turn glaring at him. “Only to find that I was about to ruin one of the best guys I knows life. Only I was stopped…” I look away now. “Because his bride bolted from the church. I knew then the type of person you were. If you could do that to Tan, you’re the biggest bitch I’ve ever met.”
I suck in a breath at his words. Everyone is still quiet. I’m sure they’re still listening. So now everyone knows that part of the story. If that’s truly how he feels who am I to try and change his mind. Besides he’s not wrong. What I did was beyond fucked up. I refuse to try and make him think better of me. Hell, I didn’t think I was that great of a person. Now I know I’m not. I glance up at him seeing nothing, but resentment and anger. I drop my chin and sit the bottle I was holding on the counter. I nod as I walk past him and through the crowd who was watching my every move. I hear screaming and glance back just as Meggie grips the hair of the girl who spilt the drink on me. Once I’m outside I start down the driveway and then I’m walking down the street. I hear someone behind me and glance back as Mannex rushes to catch up, “Hey. Wait up!”
I slow down and wipe the tears from my eyes, so he doesn’t see how hurt I truly am. “What’s up Mannex?”
He smiles as he walks beside me with his hands in his pockets, “I’m walking you back to the dorms. Things get crazy around here after parties… during parties. Hell, anytime really.”
I smile even though it never reaches my eyes. We walk in silence for a few minutes, then he finally says, “My brothers a dick, but you must have meant something if you’ve got him in knots like this.”
I shake my head. “Naw, I was just a girl at a bar who…” I shake my head to keep myself from saying the words that come to my mind, “Just a girl in a bar.”
Mannex shakes his head, “I don’t believe that at all. Hell, I’ve only been around you for a minute and I’d fight my own brother over you.”
I’m rubbing my arms up and down and he asks, “You cold?” and pulls his team hoodie off handing it to me. I pull it over my head even though I’m not cold. I’m starting to itch, and I can feel my breathing becoming labored. By the time we make it to the dorms I’m staggering and gasping, and he notices something is wrong and has me sit down on the stairwell. I reach towards the dorm and whisper, “I need my meds.” I pull my key from around my neck hand it to him. “They’re in my nightstand drawer.” He takes off up the stairs and while he’s gone, I try the breathing exercises my doctor told me to do, to calm myself down. I’m rubbing at my throat, but my ring keeps scratching it and leaving little scratches. A minute later he shows up with the pills and opens the bottle handing me one and a bottle of water he had to have grabbed from the fridge. With shaking hands, I take the pill and drink some of the water. I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes continuing to do the breathing exercises.
He’s looking at me concerned. “You okay? I can call somebody. Do you need someone?”
I open my eyes and try to smile at him, but it never reaches my eyes or my heart. “I’m good… I’m calming down now… Just give me another minute.”
He nods, “
What was that?”
I look up at him, “I have anxiety. I’ve had it for months now.”
He nods, “My mom. She suffers from anxiety. It was never this bad though. You sure you don’t need anything or me to call anyone?”
I smile, “No I’m good. Just help me get to the room and I’ll be fine.”
Without another word he lifts me and carries me the rest of the way up the stairs. He doesn’t stop until he is easing me down into my bed.
I smile up at him, “Thank you.”
He smiles, “I can stay until one of them gets back if you want.”
I shake my head, “I’m good I promise. Go back to the party and have fun.”
He smiles and reaches over squeezing my hand before he leaves.
Chapter 10
Caelan
I watch her leave and it tears at me. She didn’t fight me; she didn’t say anything. She just nodded and walked out. Don’t think I didn’t see the tears because I did, but she didn’t fight. Now I find myself holding Marie back while Tanner and Carlos try and control Meggie. I swear she ripped part of Marie’s hair out. If I wasn’t so pissed, I’d have laughed, but I can’t shake the shit with Piper. Tanner keeps shooting daggers at me. That tells me he’s going to try and get the truth out of me again. She’s going to have to bite the bullet with that one though. She’s the one who fucked up, she needs to face the music. I finally get Marie to the front door and pull her out the door behind me.
“That bitch snatched my hair out.” She squeals.
I shrug, “Well you did dump a drink on her best friend.”
She swings to smack me, and I catch her hand, “Go home Marie.”
“You’re a piece of shit Cael!” Marie.
I shrug, “Yeah well, it is what it is.”
She turns and stalks down the sidewalk leaving. I slide down to the top step and turn the beer bottle up I grabbed on my way out. I sit it on the steps with my head in my hands using my palms to try and rub out the headache forming on my temples.
