Autumn's Awakening

by Irene Brand

  She barely acknowledged his greeting.

  “Where’s the sick cow?” she asked in an icy voice.

  He motioned toward the barn. During the next half hour, he watched as Trina quickly and efficiently applied the necessary treatment to the sick animal. She spoke only when she needed his help in some way. When she finished, she wrote out a statement for the call and medication and walked back to the car.

  Silently, she got in the auto and drove several yards down the driveway. She stopped, stepped out of the car and walked back to where Nathan stood wondering what ailed Trina. Why was she so angry?

  With brown eyes snapping, Trina said, “Autumn Weaver is the best friend I have, and I don’t appreciate the way you treated her. As far as I’m concerned, your cow could have died, but she insisted that I make this call. Don’t ask me to come again. Autumn is a better hand with livestock than I am, and if you want the best treatment for you cattle, you’d better have her.”

  Nathan felt like a little boy who’d been called on the carpet, and he flushed. “I guess I can call any vet I want to.”

  “That’s right, as long as it isn’t me. You hurt Autumn’s feelings this morning, and I won’t be a part of it.”

  Nathan stood, mouth agape as she hurried away, jumped in the auto and drove rapidly toward the highway. He sat on the edge of the porch, his head in his hands. Should he apologize to Autumn? He remembered that as a girl Autumn was sensitive—her feelings easily hurt. Why did he always make the wrong decisions with Autumn?

  Business at the clinic was brisk for the next two days, and every afternoon, Autumn went on calls that took her far away from Greensboro, even to neighboring counties, and she didn’t get home until late. She couldn’t understand Nathan’s treatment of her. When she’d taken a picnic to him, he’d kissed her and gave all the impressions of loving her. They’d had an enjoyable time at the auction. Why had he suddenly gotten angry at her? She had to find out.

  Thursday evening, after not hearing from Nathan again for six days, she drove past Nathan’s farm about seven o’clock. Figuring that Nathan would have been driven in from the fields by several afternoon showers, Autumn slowed as she approached his driveway, reluctant to drive in. What if he rejected her again?

  She was at the crossroads—which way would she go? Momentarily she considered flipping a coin. Heads, I stop to see Nathan; tails, I let him make the next move. She prayed instead. God, help me know what to do. I don’t mind paying for my past sins against Nathan, but haven’t I suffered enough?

  She lifted her foot from the brake pedal and turned into Nathan’s driveway. His pickup was parked beside the barn, so he must be at home. She’d try the house first. As she stepped up on the back porch, she sniffed tempting aromas from the gas grill beside the door. She peered through the screen door into the kitchen where Nathan stood at the sink chopping vegetables. Had he heard her drive in and was ignoring her?

  Knocking, she said, “Hi. Got any extra food for a hungry woman? The meat on the grill sure smells good.”

  His hands hovered momentarily over the food he was preparing before he turned. Without smiling, he said, “Come in, Autumn. I can throw an extra hamburger on the grill. Or do you want more than one?”

  “I was really joking. I didn’t mean to interrupt your supper. I’ll wait on the porch until you’ve finished.”

  He reached in the refrigerator and brought out a hamburger patty, stepped out on the porch and placed it on the grill. “You might as well try some of this hamburger. It’s from one of my own beeves. I picked it up from the meat packer this afternoon.”

  He held the door open for her, and she stepped inside.

  “Okay, if it’s not too much trouble. I haven’t eaten since morning. This has been a busy day. In fact, the whole week has been hectic. I don’t know how Ray handles all this work by himself, but I’ll find out in a few weeks. Trina has to take Dolly back to her mother before Ray comes home, so I told her she didn’t need to come back.”

  “I understand she’s getting married soon,” Nathan said as he set out several bottles of salad dressing, put two bowls of salad on the table and lifted a bubbling pot of corn chowder from the oven.

  “In December. Her fiancé is a vet student and they’ll set up a practice together when he finishes his studies.”

  Nathan brought the grilled hamburgers from the porch, placed a plate for Autumn, sat down opposite her, bowed his head and said a short blessing. They didn’t talk much while they ate, for now that she was with Nathan, Autumn didn’t know how to approach him. Nathan had hardly looked at her, and she thought her presence made him nervous. When they finished, Nathan brought cups and poured coffee for them. He set a sack of cookies on the table.

  Grinning, he said, “My bakery products come from the deli. I don’t mind cooking, but I don’t like to bake, even if I had the time.” He pushed back from the table, propped one leg on his knee and seemed to relax as he drank the coffee. Autumn was far from relaxed. What should she say?

  “What are you going to do when Ray gets back? He’s been looking for an assistant.”

  “So Miss Olive keeps telling me,” Autumn said, with a wry grin. “I’ve been considering it, but my decision depends on a lot of things.”

  He looked at her questioningly, but said nothing. His cool attitude wasn’t helping her. Although Nathan had been polite enough, she felt like an unwanted guest, and that the sooner she left, the happier he’d be.

  “Do you think a person can bury the past and start over again?” she asked.

  “Sure. I have. I’ve overcome the stigma of being fired from Indian Creek Farm and have finally been accepted in the community as a progressive farmer.”

  If Nathan had intended to hurt her with his comment, he’d succeeded. How could she forget the past when he’d just dumped the whole episode in her lap again?

  “If you’ll excuse me, Autumn, I still have some work to take care of before dark.”

  “Is there anything I can help with?”

  “No, thanks.”

  She was discouraged by his impassive face and lack of response. If she could only tell what he was thinking. It was obvious that he wanted her to leave.

  “Can’t you give me a little more of your time? I didn’t stop here tonight for a free meal. I want to know why you suddenly preferred Trina’s work to mine.”

  He didn’t hesitate a minute before he flung his answer at her. “A case of the past repeating itself, I suppose. I heard about the dinner party at Indian Creek Farm a few nights ago. I didn’t know you and Dr. Lowe were seeing each other.”

  “Mother invited me to come for dinner, without telling me that Dr. Lowe was going to be there. We sat at the same table and ate, but I hardly consider that ‘seeing each other.”’

  He left the table, leaned against the sink and faced her with eyes that were unfriendly or unconcerned? She couldn’t tell.

  “Perhaps I’m in the wrong. But when Jeff Smith stopped by and mentioned that you and Dr. Lowe had come to the farm for dinner, all I could think about was the other time you’d been so friendly to me and started me dreaming about you. And the first thing I knew you were going to marry the doctor.”

  “I never planned to marry Dr. Lowe. How many times do I have to tell you that? It seems to me that you still haven’t forgiven me for what happened eight years ago.”

  “I told you when you came back to Greensboro that I’d forgiven you a long time ago.”

  “But have you forgotten? I’ve heard people say, ‘I forgive, but I can’t forget.’ Can’t you forget your suspicions of what happened between Dr. Lowe and me? Let’s forget the past and start over.”

  He wouldn’t meet her eyes, and he turned his back and started scrubbing on the bowl that had held the chowder.

  “I told you I’d overcome the past and started over.”

  “You’re not making this easy for me, Nathan. When I say bury the past, I mean I want us to be friends.”

  “I consider
you a friend, Autumn.”

  Here they were sparring again, but this time it wasn’t amusing!

  Sighing, Autumn said, “I can’t seem to give up easily. I wonder why I didn’t get any of the Weaver pride Mother talks about, but I’ll continue to grovel and say it plainly. I’m not content to be just a friend, Nathan. Time has changed many things, but not that, and I’ll always believe, whether you admit it or not, that you once felt the same way about me. When I said that my remaining in Greensboro depends on many things, I meant us, Nathan. Us! If you’ll open your heart to me, I’ll stay as Ray’s assistant. Otherwise, I’ll set up my practice elsewhere. The call is up to you. Where do we go from here?”

  Nathan gripped the edge of the sink and stared out the window where his prized Angus cattle grazed in the lush meadow. Why did he have trouble believing that she really meant what she said? Did he have an inferiority complex that kept him from accepting the fact that Autumn Weaver really wanted him?

  He heard her chair push away from the table, and he turned toward her.

  “I guess you’ve given me my answer, Nathan. I won’t bother you again.”

  She paused with her hand on the door latch when he spoke. “If I make a success of this farm, I have to devote my full time to it. I work more than fifteen hours a day, and I’m operating on a limited budget. I have neither the time nor the money to pursue a relationship with anyone. I don’t want to be the cause of your refusal to take a position in Ray’s clinic because it seems the right place for you. We’ve gotten along all right this summer meeting on an impersonal basis. Why can’t we continue that way?”

  More than anything, he wanted her to stay, for to lose her again would be unbearable.

  “No. I don’t consider it impersonal, and I won’t have my heart trampled on again. I’ve tried to make restitution for what I did to you eight years ago, but you won’t meet me halfway. When I leave Greensboro this time, my conscience will be clear, for I’ve done all I can do. I pray I can start a new life and find happiness elsewhere.”

  He came to her side and turned her to face him. “Do you think you’re the only one with a trampled heart? To me, you were like a goddess on a pedestal, and I didn’t think I was worthy to wipe your shoes. I agreed with your father about that. I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. But you toppled off that pedestal when you wouldn’t defend me to your father. The day I drove away from Indian Creek Farm, I made up my mind I’d never trust anyone else with my heart.”

  “Because of a decision you made then, you still won’t trust me? Even now, you think I’m playacting, that I only want you to prove I can have what I want? You didn’t believe I could care about you before, and you still don’t.”

  He went to the fireplace and took a picture off the mantel. “You wanted to know why I bought the frame at the auction. I wanted it for this photograph.”

  She was suddenly weak-kneed when she saw her own face staring back from the frame. Nathan explained how he’d come into possession of her picture. “I’ve had it hidden away for years, but after the past few weeks, I thought it was time to put it on display. Now, I wonder.”

  Autumn’s heartbeat thumped in her side knowing that he’d treasured her photograph all of these years, but she was too emotionally drained now to consider the impact of it.

  She walked to the porch, and he followed her. At the bottom of the steps, she stopped and looked up at him.

  “I came here with several goals in mind. I wanted to bury the past and I’m grateful I’ve accomplished that. I wanted to ask your forgiveness. You say you’ve forgiven me, and I’ll accept that. My aspirations for the future are gone, and I’ll accept that, too. I’ll leave as soon as Ray returns. In the meantime, if we have another conversation, you’ll initiate it.”

  “Autumn, wait…” Nathan said, but she ran to the pickup and drove away without speaking again.

  Nathan dropped into the old rocking chair, where his uncle had spent so much time viewing his farm. Sight of the acres that usually thrilled him brought no peace of mind to Nathan now. He hardly noticed the tranquil setting where Beauty grazed along a little stream that flowed into Indian Creek.

  Had he lost his mind? Autumn had offered herself to him again, and he’d turned her down just as he’d done before. Wasn’t it a sign of insanity for a man to reject the woman he’d dreamed about for years—the only woman he’d ever wanted? At one time he’d believed she was only flirting with him, but he didn’t believe that now. At eighteen, she’d been spoiled and willful—and desirable, too, he had to admit. She wanted him in spite of her parents’ displeasure, and it was plain enough that she was still of the same persuasion. She said she didn’t have any Weaver pride, but he knew she did have, and he realized it must have been difficult for her to approach him tonight.

  She had enough Weaver pride that he doubted he could win her now even if he wanted to. Did he want Autumn? God, You know I do, so why am I hesitating? Why did You bring us back together after all of this time? I’ve got only a few weeks to know if she’s the woman for me.

  His farm chores forgotten, Nathan sat on the porch until long after midnight wondering what he could do to keep Autumn in the neighborhood long enough for them to discover if they shared enough love to last for a lifetime.

  Still smarting from Nathan’s treatment, Autumn tried to hide her dismay from Trina and the others. The next day was Dolly’s seventh birthday and Trina planned a celebration for her. They invited Miss Olive to accompany them to a restaurant in the shopping mall that specialized in Chinese food, Dolly’s favorite meal. Believing that a good appearance might make up for her lack of gaiety, Autumn stopped by the beauty shop for a haircut and shampoo, giving the beautician strict orders that her hair must stay shoulder-length. If she was through with Nathan, why did she let him dictate her hairstyle? She dressed in a white silk blouse and dark navy skirt. They’d just ordered when Autumn’s portable phone rang. An excited voice sounded in her ear.

  “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as possible.” To Trina, she said, “One of the Simpson racehorses may have a broken leg. If you’ll leave long enough to drive me to the clinic, you can come back and enjoy the meal.” She hugged Dolly and handed her a wrapped package. “Sorry, I can’t stay and celebrate. Enjoy your gift.”

  Trina dropped her off at the clinic and Autumn hurried to Ray’s truck. She didn’t take time to change her clothes, but headed out of town on a graveled road that brought her to the Simpson farm in fifteen minutes. Sandy came running around the side of the barn, with Tony and Debbie at her heels.

  “Oh, Autumn, can you help us? Ralph is away for overnight, and I don’t know what to do.” She tried to calm Tony and Debbie when they started crying.

  “Please, Sandy, calm yourself. I’ll do what I can. What happened?” She pulled a pair of Ray’s coveralls over her skirt.

  Sandy motioned to her son. “Tony was riding the colt around the paddock when a covey of quail flew out of the bushes. That scared the horse, and he struck his right foreleg on the fence when he reared and threw Tony to the ground. I think the leg is broken.” Tears streamed down her full-moon face.

  “Where is the colt?”

  “In the paddock behind the barn,” Tony said.

  The colt was still on his feet, but the panic-stricken Thoroughbred wouldn’t let Autumn get near him. The injured leg flopped around when the animal moved. Observing at a distance, Autumn thought it was possible the break was a minor one, but if the horse continued walking on the leg, he could suffer irreparable damage. Autumn couldn’t bear to think of such a beautiful animal having to be put down.

  “Do you have a hired hand or someone else who can help me?” she asked.

  Sandy shook her head. “Our farm worker has gone for the day, and he lives on the other side of Greensboro.”

  “I can help,” Tony said.

  Autumn refused Tony’s offer. She needed adult assistance and the nearest help was at Woodbeck Farm. Momentarily, forgetting their estrangement when th
ey’d parted before, and without even wondering if he’d refuse, Autumn got her phone from the truck and dialed Nathan’s number. The phone rang seven times, and she was almost ready to hang up when he answered.

  “Oh, Nathan, I’m so glad you’re home. I’m at the Simpson farm, and their Thoroughbred colt has a broken leg. Ralph is gone, and I need some help to restrain the animal.”

  “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  By the time Autumn had put on coveralls, gotten medications, a twitch and a set of hobbles from the truck, she heard a vehicle racing up the driveway. Nathan pulled his truck to a stop beside hers and took the hobbles from her hands.

  “The horse is in the paddock,” she said, and hurried in that direction with Nathan at her side. She explained what had happened. “Sandy is beside herself.”

  “I don’t blame her. Ralph paid over ten thousand dollars for that colt. I’ve helped Ralph work him a few times, so he may not be afraid of me. I’ll give it a try.”

  Sandy and the two kids were trying to coax the colt to come to them.

  “Sandy,” Nathan said, “the best way you can help is to get out of the paddock and take Debbie and Tony with you. Autumn and I will do all that needs to be done. Go to the house and try to locate Ralph. He needs to know about this.”

  Reluctantly, Sandy moved away, and Debbie went with her, but Tony lingered outside the fence, his freckled face lined with worry.

  “Let me watch, Mr. Holland. I won’t be a bother.”

  Nathan nodded as he slowly approached the frightened animal, carrying the twitch, a valuable device for restraining animals. The Thoroughbred shied away from him, but he soon succeeded in placing his hand on its neck and patted it a few times before he slipped the chain loop of the twitch over the horse’s upper lip and twisted until it was tight. He nodded to Autumn, who approached the colt slowly and knelt to run capable hands over the animal’s leg. When she touched the sore spot, the animal snorted, and Nathan quickly tightened the twitch.