Crush

by West, Heather

  When the bellhop dropped us and our stuff off, Danny tipped him generously, and he headed out. When the door was closed, I threw my arms around Danny and squealed.

  “This is the nicest place I’ve ever been!”

  Danny laughed at my enthusiasm, but hugged me back. “Well, get used to it. It’s nothing but the best for my girl.”

  My girl, I thought. I didn’t think I’d ever heard anything as good as that.

  Unfortunately, we didn’t get a lot of time to spend together in that awesomely lavish room, because Danny had practice with the team. I figured it was strategy and stuff like that since no one would risk a major injury right before the game, but I was sure they’d also do warm ups and things like that. Test runs or whatever.

  It meant that I wouldn’t really get to hang out with him; he needed to focus on the game and practice. But there was a pool there and Danny encouraged me to buy a bathing suit so that I could swim while I waited for him.

  I would have thought that was a dumb idea given that this was Boston and the season was well into the point where it was shifting from warm to cold, but then he explained that it was a covered area, the pool heated and the area enclosed by glass, allowing sun to filter in regardless of the season.

  Now that sounded awesome.

  So when Danny told me to check the hotel convenience store, I did. They didn’t have a lot of selections as far as bathing suits were concerned, but I was surprised to find they had something. I took full advantage of the only one in my size and bought it. By that afternoon I was lounging by the pool in a bikini, bathing in the fading sunlight.

  I’d brought my phone with me, just in case Danny called, and when I heard it ring on the table beside me, I figured that’s who was calling.

  When I answered, however, I saw that it was my dad. I almost didn’t pick up, but I didn’t want to be rude and… and I didn’t want to feel guilty.

  “Hey, dad,” I greeted as cheerfully as possible when I answered.

  “Hey kiddo, how’s the big city?”

  So much for not feeling guilty. “It’s great. You know, same old, same old. Back at it. I got a gig the other night and it went… well.” I didn’t mention that I hadn’t spent much time singing or that I’d been interrupted by Danny.

  That didn’t seem like a good thing to share.

  “That’s great honey! Did they ask you back? Where was it? Someplace I would know?” I could hear the eagerness in dad’s questions and with a pang, I realized that he was not just invested in my future, but he was invested in talking to someone. I realized then just how lonely he really was.

  Biting my lip, I said, “I don’t think you’d know it. It wasn’t a very well-known place or anything, buy it was nice. I haven’t been asked back yet, but I think I will be.” That was probably a lie. Maybe Mr. Corsica would call me again, but given that I’d ducked out like that, well, it was hard to say. Damon had covered for me, but that was no guarantee. Still, I didn’t want to explain to dad how badly I’d messed up or why.

  “I’m so proud of you,” dad said, and I felt ten times worse. “I just know you’re going to make it big soon. Just keep trying.”

  His words made me feel like wincing. “Thanks, Dad. That means a lot coming from you. But, um, listen, I’ve really got to go. I… uh, I’m headed to work in a few and I can’t be late you know.”

  The lie tasted terrible in my mouth, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want him to know where I was and I didn’t want to lie to him about the Black Swan and I didn’t want to tell him that I was doing the dirty with Danny. All of which I felt was inevitable if I stayed on the phone with him for much longer.

  And, honestly, it was making me feel terrible that I’d found happiness while my dad was still grieving. I just couldn’t handle it.

  “Oh, okay, honey,” dad said in response. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Too much was going on and I just couldn’t be honest with my dad. “I love you.”

  I promised myself I would call him once I got back to New York and spend an hour just talking with him. “I love you, too, dad. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  We hung up then and suddenly, I didn’t feel like sunbathing.

  ***

  Danny got in a little later in the evening. It was dark already and he looked fairly tired, but as soon as his eyes found me, his face broke out into a wide grin. He was thrilled to find me there, as though half worried I might not be there once he got back.

  “Hey,” he said, putting his duffle bag down.

  I smiled back. “Hey, yourself. How was practice?” I decided I wouldn’t tell him about dad’s call. Not right now anyway. He needed to focus for the game tomorrow and I needed to figure out what we were going to do. We couldn’t lie to dad forever, could we?

  I went over to him and gave him a hug and kiss, finding him to be still sweaty. I pulled back and said, “You smell like you’ve been at the gym.”

  Danny laughed at me and picked me up bridal style, still grinning. “That’s because I have been,” he told me. “And now that I’m back, I think it’s time for a shower.”

  I didn’t protest as he carried me to the bathroom or when he put me down so that I was sitting on the edge of the sink. He kissed me deeply and the worries of the day melted until nothing was left but the feel of Danny pressing against me. We pulled back so that we could undress but always found each other again, touching and caressing and kissing.

  We showered together and didn’t even bother joking about saving water and being shower buddies. We knew why we were showering together.

  Danny grabbed the bottle of liquid body wash and poured a large amount into his hands. Adding just a little bit of water, he began to lather it up into his hands. I stood there and watched him, appreciating his naked form, bulging with those muscles that were so important for his NFL career and his engorged member, growing in size as his eyes traveled over my own naked body.

  When his hands reached for me, I let him. They made trails over my body, gently soaping up my naked form, cleaning me and caressing me at the same time.

  The water was hot and soothing, causing steam to billow and fill up the entire room. All the while, Danny’s hands touched me. He started at my shoulders, smoothing the soap over them and went down farther along my arms. I lifted them up so that he could do the other side, too, and when his hands traveled downward again, he slipped along my ribcage and my hips, until my skin was slick with soap. My breasts came next, but unlike in the past, his touch was gentle now. He caressed them and just barely squeezed them, though it was clear by the continued hardening of his member that he enjoyed the feel of them just the same.

  My nipples grew hard and my breath caught at his touch, but I didn’t ask for anything harder or demand anything more. I just let him touch and wash me until he had to grab more soap.

  He was gentle when his hands made their way between my thighs and made a point to wash my most intimate of areas without pressing his soapy fingers inside my wet center. That would come later.

  When he was finally finished washing my body, worshipping my body, it was my turn. I did my due diligence, washing his thick ropey muscles and massaging his shoulders. And when I reached his member, my hands slid lightly over his long, thick shaft, using soap to massage the area, letting my palms slip and slide over his length. And I washed his balls, too, and his thighs. I washed everything and by the time we had both rinsed off, it was clear that our bodies needed so much more than caresses and teasing touches.

  When he finally slid inside of my body, I felt complete. I knew this was right. He entered from behind and I pressed my hands against the tiled walls and begged him softly to continue. He did and I indulged in how far my lips had to stretch for him, enjoying the water cascading over our heated bodies, and let him lose himself inside of me.

  By the time we crawled into bed we were exhausted and happy. His arms wrapped around me and I fell asleep like that, wondering how I
’d ever done without.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Today was important for a couple of different reasons. The main one for the team was that this would determine where we stood in the standings. It was why the whole team was buzzing with nervous energy, many hopping from foot to foot with excitement and impatience. The second reason was all me; Ashley was in the stands.

  She’d come with me from New York City, agreeing that if I got permission from my doctor to play, she’d travel and stay with me. Ashley had been good on her word after I’d made good on mine. Getting the doctor to okay it, especially over the phone had been a little tricky, but I’d managed to convince him. Mostly, it was how I’d played in the previous game that made him believe that I was definitely at least feeling better.

  I’d had to make a deal with him that if I felt any dizziness or tiredness or any discordant feelings, I had to call him immediately and agree to stop playing. I was pretty sure that wouldn’t happen, so I’d said yes. It was the only way to get him to fax over the clearance to coach.

  Coach, of course, had not been thrilled to learn I shouldn’t have been playing the last game. He was so pissed that it was almost enough to bench me for this one. But the game was too important. I stayed.

  As we lined up for the play, angled against the New England Patriots, I imagined Ashley in the stands. The knowledge that she was here in the stadium with me, watching as we played, made my heart pump faster, electricity striking through my system until I felt like I was a dead man come alive again.

  I would do my best in this game for her, Ashley, my love.

  When the play started I dug my feet into the cold, hard earth and lunged, my body at such a steep angle that I felt like I was flying parallel to the field. It almost happened in slow motion until I slammed headlong into the guy, collapsing around his midsection, and taking him to the ground.

  Plays felt like seconds that were spread out over minutes or even hours of time, having slowed down so that the mind could process every bit of information until it understood what was going on. Then it punched into overdrive. That’s what it felt like when we finally landed on the ground, me on top of the other guy who looked a little dazed.

  I jumped off of him quickly, waiting nearby to make sure he got up. He did and didn’t look too thrilled with me, but I shrugged it off. It hardly mattered whether or not we were all friends.

  We lined up again, and I searched the stadium seats for Ashley. She wasn’t easy to spot just because the field was so large and there were so many seats, but I’d gotten her a good ticket, pretty close to the field. Knowing which section she was seated in, my eyes scanned the crowd until I saw a pretty young woman jumping up and down excitedly. She was wearing my colors and had golden blonde hair that shone in the dull sunlight.

  Ashley.

  Grinning, pride surged through me as I remembered that she was here to see me. When the next play started, I lunged and I took the guy down even harder than the last time.

  We were making good time and distance. We were ahead by only a couple of points, though, but I knew that we’d hold the lead until we made our way to victory. The game would be ours and so would the lineup spot. I felt confident, though I knew so much of that came from knowing Ashley was watching me.

  Our team played like men possessed, myself included. There was no stopping us. That small lead we’d had over the New England Patriots grew bigger and bigger until it was almost a joke. We were unstoppable, insurmountable. In that moment, it didn’t matter who we played or where we played. We could not be beat.

  I glanced over to Ashley before the start of the next play, a big, goofy grin plastered across my face, and I knew this was the moment. Here was where we would win. I felt so confident that there was nothing that could stop be, that when my eyes went to Ashley, the only thing I was anticipating was her beautiful face. And I found it, but when my eyes took in the seats around her, I noticed another familiar face.

  Dad.

  I didn’t have enough time to think about how many ways this could go wrong, because the play was starting. I had to focus. I barreled into the guy and got up as quickly as possible. The ball had been dropped, but one of ours interceded. It was our ball. I tried not to think about dad as I ran, trying to give our guy the room to run, but I couldn’t help it.

  What was he doing here? I had of course expected Ashley to be here; I’d invited her. But dad? It was a long flight from Wisconsin and one he probably didn’t need to be spending his money on. If I’d known he was coming, I’d have probably done a few things differently. Namely, reconsidered where Ashley was sitting—or maybe put them deliberately together—and given her a heads up. But we were in the middle of a game now and there was no time to warn her, no chance.

  The ball was thrown as Thomson went down. It came sailing through the air towards me. It wasn’t usually my job to play quarterback or fullback, but here I was. When the ball came to me, my hands were open and it sailed safely into my hands.

  In that moment, I saw the other team coming for me. I saw what I had to do so I pushed the nervousness of my father being there out of my head. I focused on the game; it was all I could think about.

  When I pumped my legs, feeling as though I was running through quicksand, moving in slow motion, all I felt was the slow seeping adrenaline that told me this was it. This moment was mine.

  I cross the end zone and it’s instantaneous; the stadium erupts. For a moment, I’m deaf and the feeling is surreal as I take in the swarms of people around me. All of them looking down, all of them cheering. Amidst them is Ashley and all I want to do is hold her now.

  Most of the fans stay in the stands, but some pour onto the field. Families and close friends of the players. Our fans. I spot Ashley coming straight for me and that feeling of nervousness returns with a sudden vengeance. Dad was right behind her. She couldn’t see him, wouldn’t know he was there, but I thought he spotted her, because he wore a bewildered look on his face.

  I tried to get to Ashley first, not sure what I was going to do or how to quell her excitement before she did something to give us away, but she was already throwing herself at me before I could think of anything. Her arms wrapped around me and instinctually mine went back around her. She whooped and screamed in my ear, congratulations, I think, and when I finally pried her away from me to try and tell her that dad was here, I never got the chance.

  She kissed me.

  It was a deep kiss filled with the love and passion that I knew she held for me and for a moment, I was able to forget everything else. This moment, it was right. This moment, it was perfect.

  And then I opened my eyes again and I saw dad.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I kissed Danny with all my heart and soul and for a moment, he returned the gesture. But then he suddenly stiffened. It was as though something major had shifted in the span of mere moments, though I couldn’t imagine what that might be.

  For a second, I kept trying to bring him back to me, but finally I had to accept that I’d lost him somewhere else. Pulling back, I saw that his eyes were already open—and looking past me to somewhere behind me.

  “Ashley?”

  I froze. Every molecule in my body was suddenly like flies stuck in that sticky paper you put on the windows. There was no moving, no escape. And that was my dad who’d just called my name.

  For one whole day, I thought we could do the couple thing, be happy and normal. For one whole day, I was happier than I had ever thought I could be. For one whole day.

  And in a moment, that had shattered all with the gentle, confused call of my name.

  I wanted to run and hide, to disappear into the crowd, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Dad was here and I knew he must have just seen me… seen us… Oh, god, this was it. Everything was finally going to crumble down around me.

  I try to pull away from Danny, trying to jump apart so that maybe I can play this off as sisterly affection or a joke or just getting caught up in the moment, but Dann
y’s hands won’t let me go. They held me like iron to his side and panic began to well up within me.

  Clenching my eyes shut, I prepare for the worse as dad comes over to us. “Danny… Ashley… What’s going on?” he asked, and I could hear a tremor of worry in his voice.

  I thought that Danny would tell him it was all a misunderstanding and mentally prepare myself to back him up, but when his words came tumbling out, I was too shocked to think of anything at all to say.

  “Dad, me and Ashley are a couple. I’m in love with her and I don’t care if it’s wrong, because it feels right.”

  Chapter Twenty

  I would’ve been lying if I said I wasn’t terrified as those words left my lips. Was I out of my mind? This was our father I was admitting these things to! But some part of me always knew that it was going to have to come up eventually and we’d have to deal with the consequences.