Margo's Lullaby

by Groves, B.

  “But, you weren’t.”

  “It wasn’t so much my injury, it was seeing Jake dead like that,” Dean said.

  “I hope you don’t think by telling my story that I’m taking away—”

  Dean shook his head. “No—no. You deserve to be heard.”

  Relief washed over Gabby’s features.

  After a few minutes, Gabby continued on.

  “After that, I dealt with it. I was introduced to a good therapist. I was coming out my shell in school. Life was looking up. I met my ex-husband…”

  Dean was stunned by the revelation. Pam never told him that Gabby was married at one time.

  Gabby smiled at Dean’s surprise. “It didn’t last.” She shifted in her chair. “I’m sure you figured that out.”

  “He couldn’t handle it?”

  “He said he cheated on me because he was never sure if I was involved or not, and his mother thought it was a bad idea to marry me.” Gabby looked away. “She’d been reading these forums about the case and came to the conclusion that I was involved. There was no changing her mind.”

  “That’s harsh,” Dean commented.

  Gabby suddenly put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.

  She sobbed for a few minutes then looked up at him with fresh tears running down her face.

  “Of all the rumors that go around about myself and my family, that is the worst. I swear to you, I didn’t know. I met her the library because the night before she ran away—again!”

  Dean was about to offer Gabby more comfort. He knew by just talking to her she had nothing to do with her sister’s plans and based on the reports, it was a matter of fact.

  Gabby stood from the chair and walked over the coffee table, and before Dean could say anything she grabbed the diary and threw it on the dining table in front of him.

  “You asked why I’m back a few weeks ago?”

  “I—I did, but I was surprised—Gabby, people are going to believe what they want to believe. You shouldn’t worry about those rumors.”

  Gabby nodded still standing near the table. “I know, but you asked me why.”

  Gabby walked over and opened the diary to a certain page. Dean’s focus turned the highlighted areas.

  Once he adjusted he read a few lines and his gaze turned back to Gabby in stunned disbelief.

  “Jesus,” he muttered.

  Dear Diary,

  He told me he loved me, but he lied. I hate this. He won’t leave his girlfriend for me. I thought he was my sunshine, my moon and stars, my whole universe, but he isn’t. He says I’m not the one. He loves his girlfriend.

  I did everything he asked me too. I never told anyone our little secret. I made a promise I would never tell.

  Why did he have to lie to me? I’m going there tonight. I’m going to make him talk to me. He won’t even look at me, but he will tonight. I’m going to tell his girlfriend everything.

  -Margo

  Chapter 19

  Gabby watched the time on the old clock on the wall behind her in the library.

  She was getting angrier as each second ticked away. It was another day after a long night of her parents out searching for Margo. This was what—the fourth time now?

  They didn’t bother to call the police this time to file a missing person’s report. What was the point? Margo would show up again and not give any answers on her whereabouts. It would be the same line of “leave me alone” or “you don’t understand.” Or she would curse at them and leave the room.

  Her parents had to work today. Her mother apologetically asked Gabby to meet with Margo to make sure she was safe. Her parent’s worst fear was Margo running away for good and never coming home.

  “She could end up in all kinds of trouble, and we’d never know what happened to her,” Gabby’s mom would bemoan to her.

  Gabby wanted to fling her book across the room but held her temper in check.

  She turned her gaze diagonally and caught Dean Walker trying not to stare at her again.

  Both of them turned a deep red and turned back towards their books.

  Even with all Gabby was going through at home, she couldn’t help but smile when she and Dean were around each other.

  It made her think of how silly they were at this point. They didn’t have much longer till they graduated. One of them needed to break this little game they’ve been playing for years.

  Gabby turned up to see Jennifer Smith walk into the library and sit down.

  She wanted to talk to her, but Gabby knew at the same time she wanted to keep Dean’s attention.

  Gabby knew if she went over to Jennifer she’d still spot Margo come through the door.

  She rose from her chair and slowly made her way over to Jennifer, just lingering long enough for Dean to realize she was moving around.

  Knowing she caught his eye, she grinned all the way over to Jennifer and then planted a friendly smile on her face while she waited for Margo to make her entrance.

  “Hey,” Gabby whispered so she wouldn’t disturb anyone else.

  Jennifer’s face lit up when she looked up from her books to see who was saying hello to her.

  “Oh hi, Gabby.”

  Gabby sat down opposite of Jennifer and smiled. Jennifer was a victim of vicious bullying, and it was heartbreaking to watch.

  She had long and frizzy brown hair and was developing terrible acne scars, which she couldn’t afford to see a doctor about. She was overweight and tried to do a somersault. She failed miserably. Everyone laughed at her because her gym shirt went over her head exposing her bra. It was sad since she was dealing with a sick mother at home along with other classmates making her life miserable.

  She wrote the most beautiful poetry Gabby ever read. That’s why she recruited Jennifer to help her with the yearbook and write the captions.

  “I’m not disturbing you am I?” Gabby asked.

  “No, but—”Jennifer’s thick eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “I’m surprised to see you in here.”

  Gabby felt her anger boiling like water turned up on high heat at her sister again.

  Jennifer knew about Margo and her problems.

  “It’s Margo,” Gabby said.

  Jennifer’s face turned sympathetic. “Did she run away again?”

  “Yes, she did.”

  “I’m sorry, Gabby.”

  Gabby sighed and turned to glance at the clock. “I have to go wait for her, but I wanted to see how your mom was doing.”

  Jennifer lit up like Christmas lights and said, “She’s better, so if you still need help with the captions then I’m available.”

  Gabby quietly clapped in excitement. “Yes! Please… I need you.”

  Gabby smiled at Jennifer’s excitement. No one else in the school ever gave the poor girl the time of day, but Gabby. She hoped it would change for Jennifer once she went to college. Even though Jennifer said she was only attending community college, it was a start to a whole better life for her, Gabby knew that much.

  Gabby turned serious again. “I better get back in case Margo shows up.”

  Jennifer’s mouth turned down, and she shook her head. “Okay, I will see you after school on Thursday right?”

  Gabby rose from the desk and nodded. “Yep, and we’ll work on putting the captions under the artwork first.”

  “Okay. See ya,” Jennifer said.

  “Bye.”

  Little did Gabby know that would be the last conversation she would have with Jennifer Smith.

  Gabby brushed by Dean’s desk and sat down. She had less than a half hour for lunch left and thought it was time to stop this game with Dean.

  She wondered why he was in the library today. He never hung out here during breaks either.

  She couldn’t hide her amusement when he turned and glanced at her again.

  She thought about a silent invitation and moved a book over. Hopefully, he’d catch on to what she was doing.

  Gabby glanced at the clock again. Be
sides, she needed a friend right now. Margo wasn’t coming. Another day of skipping school too. The school warned that if Margo kept up this kind of behavior, then her parents would have to find an alternative for her.

  They did everything to accommodate her, and Margo continued to act like a petulant, spoiled brat.

  Gabby had gone from trying to help her sister to ignoring her most of the time now. She’d given up on getting her sister back on the right track.

  There were times she still felt the need to protect Margo. Gabby happened upon a few guys bullying her sister and Gabby stepped in to help.

  She couldn’t understand Margo’s reaction when Gabby stepped in. Instead of being appreciative Margo berated her in front of everyone and told her to mind her own business.

  Yes, perhaps she needed a friend right now as her emotions about Margo went into overload, or just a distraction for a little while.

  Gabby looked up to see a figure enter the library. She drew in a deep calming breath when she spotted her sister.

  She was all at once relieved that Margo looked fine, but pissed off that she worried their mom and dad all night again.

  Margo was dressed—Gabby sighed—as… well, Margo. Her hair was piled into a mess on top of her head. She wore a little black t-shirt too tight, and about to show her midriff. Her sweatpants were hanging low on her hips, and her jacket only covered one shoulder.

  Margo sat down in front of her sister. Gabby thought she caught a strange look in Margo’s expression.

  “Where have you been?” Gabby seethed.

  “Out,” Margo said. “I was busy. What do you want?”

  “Mom and Dad were out looking for you again,” Gabby said. “You could have called.”

  “Gabby, I called, and they ignored it,” Margo said.

  “Stop your stupid little games,” Gabby scolded.

  Margo huffed back in the chair. Her eyes were darting around as if she was waiting for someone to see her.

  “That’s right. Little miss perfect has to lecture me again,” Margo said.

  Gabby noticed Margo turned slightly when Jake White entered the library and joined Dean at the table diagonal to them.

  She turned back to Gabby, but a wild look entered her eyes.

  “Margo, why don’t you stop with the insults and tell me what is going on? Please. We can keep it between us.”

  Margo waved her hand in the air, and said, “Oh please. You would run back to them and tell them everything.”

  Gabby shook her head. “I won’t. I promise. I’m just trying to help you.”

  For a few bitter seconds, Gabby thought she had her sister by the throat. Margo softened her position, and Gabby thought she saw tears spring into her younger sister’s eyes.

  But, her defense mechanisms kicked in again, and she stiffened in her chair.

  “You would never understand. You live in this perfect little shell. You’re popular and when you speak people pay attention. Well, I don’t want to be like you. I never did.”

  Gabby rubbed her eyes in frustration. “Something has happened. I know it. Those guys didn’t say those things for no reason. It will stay between us. I promise you.”

  “I can’t Gabby,” Margo said. “I just… can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  Margo stood up from her chair. Her eyes were darting around again. Gabby thought she saw a few tears flow, but Margo wiped her face before Gabby could catch them.

  “I will say this… you’ll know one day. You better watch your ass.”

  Gabby was left floored by her sister’s last words. What did she mean by that?

  It wasn’t until less than five minutes later when her sister showed herself to be the Seven Hills shooter that Gabby understood her words.

  Dean looked up from the diary to meet Gabby’s gaze.

  “Do you know who this was?”

  “Do you mean do I know who they were? No, I don’t.”

  Dean shook his head and closed the page in the diary.

  “So, she was seeing some boy—”

  “A boy or someone older, we’re not sure,” Gabby corrected.

  “Okay, and when he tired of her, she stalked him, and to get her away from him, he had her gang-raped at a party? I’m not sure if it’s farfetched or true?”

  “I’ve been trying to decide that for years. The boyfriend… I believe it because she kept him a secret. She never spoke a word of him. Ever. My parents suspected she was dating someone who they would not approve of, but they were never sure.”

  “Did your parents ever search her room?” Dean asked out of pure curiosity.

  Gabby nodded. “Many times. They found a loose floorboard after they were allowed back in the house. We think she hid the diary there most of the time, but deliberately left it in the music box when she planned her suicide. I always thought she kept it in there anyway.”

  “That explains a lot,” Dean said.

  Gabby watched as Dean sat back on the dining room chair thinking for a moment.

  The whole time she was telling her story, she couldn’t help but notice how they were touching each other, and Dean was moving closer to her.

  Gabby tried to hide her blush from thinking about it. Then she chided herself for her own feelings. She would not do this to him. He’d already been through hell with his own injury.

  He told her how he was a recovering alcoholic and cocaine user.

  He was bitter not just because he’d never heard from Gabby or her family again—until this past month— but from his shoulder injury taking away from his budding baseball career.

  He reassured her several times that his own self-loathing was his own fault, and not hers.

  “I could have taken positive steps to another career right away, but I chose to feel sorry for myself instead of improvement. It wasn’t until five years ago that I realized that I can’t change the past and had to work towards a different life. I love coaching baseball now.”

  “Are you saying this to make me feel better?” Gabby asked suspiciously.

  Dean reached out for her hand again. “You are not your sister. You don’t have to remain in her shadow for all eternity. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. If this is who you’re looking for, then maybe I can help you. But, I have a question.”

  Dean raised his eyebrows in a challenge. “What were you planning on doing with this man once you found out who he was?”

  It wasn’t a new question for her, but coming from Dean her mind turned to mush.

  “I don’t know… Confrontation? A confession? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again—my sister is a murderer. I don’t want to take the spotlight away from that fact. All I want is for those that wronged her to be punished for pushing her to the brink.”

  Dean looked confused. “Gabby? Did the police investigate this? I haven’t finished the report yet.”

  “A few pages of her diary are on there,” Gabby answered. “Yes, they looked into it, but not thoroughly enough in my opinion.”

  “Did they question her friends?”

  “All of them, and all of them denied knowing anything about her being raped or the man she was supposedly seeing,” Gabby said. “I think the police were more focused on wanting to blame my dad for the guns.”

  “Did you ever ask any of them?”

  Gabby nodded. “Yes, I did. Her best friend Karen Perkins. She told me she knew nothing. Nothing about Margo’s plans. Nothing about this mystery man. Nothing at all. I believed her because she told me if she’d known, she would have approached me about it.”

  Dean sat back in thought. “You’d think that teenage girls would talk.” Dean raised his hands to put the word talk in quotation marks. “I see it all the time being a teacher.”

  “I agree. Pam and I never held back, but if you look at past school shooters like Columbine, then you realize that teenagers can keep secrets. Deep, dark secrets.”

  Dean rubbed his goatee, and Gabby turned away. “You’re right. I mean Jake
’s a great example.”

  Gabby glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost ten o’clock at night. She was wearing down from the day. While Dean had been reading Margo’s diary, she was being bombarded by text messages from her family and what few friends she had asked if she was okay.

  Her cell phone never stopped ringing either. All messages were from news stations asking her if she’d like to comment on Randy White’s attack today.

  She deleted the messages and answered the texts telling them she was in good hands and smiled looking over at Dean.

  She was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. The right side of her face wasn’t throbbing, but she’d need her next painkiller soon. Checking her complexion in the mirror, the bruise was now a dark purple, covering part of her eye and cheek.

  “I was thinking about something,” Dean spoke up, bringing Gabby back to the present.

  “What?”

  Gabby could tell Dean was weighing his words carefully.

  “Robert Larson said something interesting to me a few weeks back,” Dean started. “He said something about secrets, and meetings going on. He said it’s been taking place for a long time. Do you remember hearing anything about that?”

  Gabby dug deep into her memory. “I remember hearing certain students holding certain parties by invite only, but I thought that was only a rumor. I asked Karen about that, she didn’t know either.”

  “Were you invited to any of those?” Dean asked.

  “No. Were you?”

  “No. He also said that when Margo shot him—”

  Gabby groaned. She meant to speak to Robert Larson today but never got around to it.

  Dean reached for her hand again and said, “Hey. He is more than willing to talk to you.”

  Gabby half-smiled. “I hope so.”

  “I know so. Anyway, he said when Margo entered the school, the only reason she shot him was to get him the hell out of her way.”

  “Yeah, because she left me, went out to the bushes on the side entrance, picked up the guns, came back in, and Robert happened to be leaving his classroom to go on break. He asked her if she was okay, and she shot him,” Gabby said.