Margo's Lullaby

by Groves, B.

  “You were sitting with Pam and Lisa—I think— and you looked…” Dean’s face softened. “So beautiful and so happy.”

  Dean gave an embarrassed laugh and said, “I spent the whole night hoping you wouldn’t see me staring at you, and Jake and the rest of the guys teasing me for it.”

  Gabby blushed from his words.

  “I couldn’t talk to you,” Dean said scratching the side of his face.

  “Why?” Gabby asked.

  “I never regretted anything more in my life than I did after that night was over because I was too much of a coward to tell you how I felt about you,” Dean confessed.

  “Did you think I would turn you down?”

  “I don’t know,” Dean said. “I guess I thought the woman of my dreams was just that a dream.”

  “I never hated you, Gabby,” Dean continued. “It’s so crazy because of what your sister did and how she destroyed so many people is unforgivable, but I can’t…”

  Gabby met Dean’s eyes. He looked so sad right then.

  “What?” Gabby asked not hiding the shaking in her voice.

  “… believe I’m standing here with you right now,” Dean said.

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “I don’t care what other people think. I don’t care fucking care. Fuck them all. They can think this is a joke, but it’s not and I know it isn’t to you.”

  “No, it’s not,” Gabby said. “It never was.”

  Dean put his hands on her cheeks and guided her to him. They kissed for a few moments until Dean stopped it.

  “Can you believe in us?” He asked.

  Gabby tried to stop the tears from flowing, but they did, and she silently cursed her fragile emotions.

  “I never stopped,” she answered. “I never stopped believing one day we would meet again.”

  “Good, because we’re both adults now. So, I will not be that shy, stupid kid anymore.”

  Gabby scoffed. “You were never stupid.”

  “Yes, I was, because I should have said back then, but I’ll say it now. I love you and that never went away.”

  Chapter 23

  Dean waited patiently for Gabby’s reaction. Her eyes widened, and he heard a little gasp escape her lips.

  This was an intense moment for both of them. After this weekend, and all they’ve been through, if there was one thing that Dean would have Gabby always know, it was his feelings for her.

  It was a relief, actually.

  Even though it may have been a relief, there was still a lot of work ahead of them, but he would never regret saying those words to her.

  She could walk away now, but at least she would know how he never turned his feelings off for her.

  “Tragedy can bring people together or tear them apart, and I chose together,” he said while she was quiet.

  Gabby never turned away from him while she processed his words.

  Then she laughed. Laughed!

  “I’m glad you find that funny,” he said with a frown.

  “I’m sorry,” Gabby said. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

  “What’s so funny?”

  Gabby was now a mixture of laughing and crying.

  Was she rejecting him? Did she think his feelings for her were… funny?

  What the hell was happening?

  Was Michael right? Was she losing her mind?

  “I’m sorry. I’ll explain,” Gabby said.

  “Uh, please?”

  Gabby’s face turned serious again. “I’ve walked through the darkness for so long. I call it my tunnel. There is no light in my tunnel. Only pitch black that I claw my way through every time I get out of bed,” she said putting her hand on his cheek. “Today was the first spark of light when we went to the school. Now, I’m coming out of the other end, and I see the light, and in there is the person standing there waiting for me. That person is you.”

  “You still didn’t say what was so comical,” Dean prodded.

  Gabby smiled and said, “Do you know how many times Pam was trying to get me to talk to you that night and over the years?”

  Gabby’s face changed to one of regret. She took a deep breath while she thought over something.

  “I wish things could have been different…” She said, her words trailing off. “What I mean is, I wish we didn’t lose so many years, from Margo, and being too shy around each other.”

  Gabby grasped his hands in hers. “Dean, I want to make sure you understand. Understand what being with me means. The repercussions. Are you ready for that? Can you handle it? People will always think my parents are horrible people or I knew beforehand what Margo would do. I’m not exaggerating. I’m not dramatizing this. This is my life, and you need to understand what you’re stepping into. It’s becoming easier as time passes, but every time another tragedy happens, past shootings come up, and it starts all over again.”

  “I was on the other side of it for a long time,” Dean said. “I can make my own decisions. I’m aware this may hurt my career here, but there are other opportunities for me. I’m glad you’re not sugarcoating it because I know it will be hard, and we’ll be tested. What I want to know is are you ready to take that next step?”

  She leaned into Dean and he could feel her hot breath on his ear.

  “I’ve always loved you too,” she said.

  She pulled back with a grin, and Dean thought his eyes were dampening, but he wasn’t sure.

  This is all he ever wanted.

  Without another word, he pulled Gabby closer to him and slammed his lips into hers.

  ***

  Dean watched his text messages the next morning in the break room. He was not liking leaving Gabby alone at home and having her drive over to the police station by herself to fill out her report against Randy.

  He hated being so overprotective of her, but he knew Randy all too well, and if Randy was dead set on revenge, he would have it some way or another.

  The only time Jake ever got relief from his father’s abuse was when Randy was carted off to prison for a year here or two years there for doing something stupid.

  It was way too early for her to leave, and she was working on her projects when he left for work.

  He made her promise to keep the alarm on at all times and keep anything she could use as a weapon near her.

  Dean was perfectly aware of the looks he was getting from other teachers. He expected it. He admitted it made his stomach sink, but tried to tell himself that it would pass in time, and people would forget once again. Besides, he had a mission today.

  Teachers and faculty who used to give him warm greetings in the morning were now cold and distant. When Gabby said your whole life changes in an instant, she wasn’t lying. She wasn’t exaggerating, nor was she dramatizing it.

  People came to their own conclusions that day ten years ago, and they were unwilling to change to or look at the facts. It was typical in a small town like Seven Hills. Once a pariah, always a pariah.

  Dean looked up to see Robert and William low in conversation beside him.

  “I think this will be my last year here,” Dean said.

  “Don’t say that,” William said, looking around the teacher lounge.

  “Who the fuck cares what other assholes think?” Robert said loudly.

  Other teachers turned around, but no one said anything, and Dean sank in his chair.

  “Hold your head up, son,” Robert scolded. “People need to mind their own fucking business.”

  William laughed, and Dean smiled and shook his head.

  Dean tried not to think of last night, but couldn’t help but let a grin curve his lips.

  He and Gabby arrived home and threw their clothes on the floor and made love right there in the living room.

  They were supposed to have a quiet dinner but had other distractions.

  He had to adjust in his seat as he thought about the curve of her hips, and the perfect pink color of her nipples. The way her hair flowed in golden waves
around her head or how it covered her face in a curtain as she mounted him.

  Dean cleared his throat and tried to focus on the conversation.

  “Have you emailed the rep yet?” William asked, thankfully not noticing or ignoring Dean’s flushed face.

  “No. I’ll see what Michael has to say first,” Dean answered.

  “This is bullshit. Teachers have kept their jobs for much worse than this. You are free to see whoever you choose,” Robert said.

  Dean rubbed his goatee. “I appreciate that.” He turned to William. “Thanks for covering my homeroom for me.”

  William shrugged. “I still can’t believe you didn’t take Randy out the other day. Man, you showed some nice restraint.”

  “I wish I did. Not just for Gabby, but for Jake,” Dean said.

  Robert adjusted in his wheelchair, and said, “He snuck up on her, and took her by surprise. My wife saw the whole thing. What an asshole.”

  “Gabby is going to the station today to fill out her report. I’m hoping we can prove it was him who threw the rock in her house. I would love seeing his ass go away again,” Dean said, his anger rising again.

  “Hopefully, that footage sees his car,” William said. “Or it might have been kids being smartasses.”

  Dean’s phone lit up and Gabby sent him a message she was getting ready to leave and good luck with his meeting.

  He smiled when he saw the “I love you” at the end.

  “She’s leaving now,” Dean said.

  “There’s nothing you can do. She can’t be held prisoner there,” William said.

  The door opened and Michael peeked his head through.

  “I’m ready,” Michael said with no emotion.

  Dean stood up and caught the sympathetic glances from not only William and Robert but also other teachers in the lounge.

  He didn’t want their sympathy when only a few minutes before they were giving him outright stares of hostility.

  He followed a silent Michael to the administrative part of the building and turned to enter Michael’s private office.

  “I thought we would have a chat to see if I have to escalate this to the school board,” Michael said.

  Michael’s office had been redecorated after he was promoted to principal.

  His desk was an expensive oak desk, with an even more expensive office chair. He had the office repainted, and the windows were custom made.

  If the taxpayers knew about this kind of renovation, they’d have his head impaled on a stake.

  Dean walked into the office and sitting on a microfiber loveseat was the vice principal Marcus Layton.

  Marcus was only about five years older than Dean. Young and eager to please, he did everything Michael told him to without question. His brown-nose nature got him the job of vice principal at such a young age.

  He was a tall and thin man, with thick wire-rimmed glasses, and deep acne scars that no amount of plastic surgery could fix.

  Dean always felt bad for the guy, because the students made fun of him on a daily basis, and he was always so nice to them.

  Marcus tripped and fell one day in the hallway, and all the students around just laughed and no one helped him.

  Dean always tried to be friendly with Marcus, since it obvious he was a victim of bullying at one time, and still suffered from it.

  “Marcus,” Dean said.

  “Hi Dean,” Marcus said. His brittle voice grated on some people’s nerves. It sounded like the poor man was still trying to go through puberty.

  Marcus and Dean shook hands and Michael beckoned for Dean to sit down.

  Marcus opened a notebook and looked expectantly towards Michael.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I didn’t break any code of conduct,” Dean started off.

  “Actually, you did. It was made clear the Ryan family can never to step on school property ever again,” Michael said. “Gabrielle Ryan broke that agreement, and you enabled her.”

  Michael produced the copy of the official letter and handed it over to Dean.

  Dean glanced over it and set it back on Michael’s desk.

  “You know damn well that Gabrielle wouldn’t have done a damn thing to that memorial. Besides, it was my idea not knowing she wasn’t allowed on property,” Dean lied.

  “She didn’t tell you?” Michael asked leaning forward on his desk.

  Dean didn’t answer.

  “I thought so,” Michael said, satisfied.

  “Is this about her stepping foot on property or her accusations? Seems like it hit a nerve with you,” Dean said with a smirk.

  Michael’s face turned into an emotionless mask, and he stared at Dean in silence.

  “What accusations, Mike?” Marcus asked.

  “Nothing.”

  Dean laughed and turned to Marcus. “I’ll let him explain those mystery girls he supposedly saved that day.”

  Dean turned back to Michael. “What were their names again?”

  Michael smiled. “So, you’d believe a woman whose sister shot up a school over us. That’s great, Dean. Your reputation just took a downward slide.”

  Marcus looked between Dean and Michael in confusion.

  Dean returned Michael’s stare. “What reason would she have to lie? What could she possibly lose at this point?”

  “Boy, she has her mouth wrapped around your dick, doesn’t she?” Michael asked.

  That was crude and unprofessional on Michael’s part, and they both knew it.

  If Michael wanted to play with fire, then Dean could play right back.

  “I’m not the one sticking my dick out in school,” Dean shot back waiting on Michael’s reaction.

  “Whoa! Whoa!” Marcus intervened. “Gentlemen, we are all professionals here.”

  Michael stayed emotionless while Marcus held his arm out in between the two men.

  Michael scratched his head, and said, “Well, I hope you can explain this to the arbitrator better than me. You can go back to class. I’ll let you know when.”

  “Why do you want me to lose my job?” Dean asked. “Because I’m seeing Gabrielle Ryan? I made a mistake letting her into the school, it was my idea, but she never asked for any of this and you know it.”

  “Gabrielle Ryan hurt a lot of families the other day, Dean. I can’t believe as a victim of Margo Ryan, you would even consider socializing with her,” Michael commented.

  “I don’t think that’s an issue, Michael,” Marcus chimed in. “It wasn’t her fault Randy White attacked her. Most people understood that from the ones I talked to.”

  Michael turned and glared at Marcus who closed his mouth and sank into the loveseat.

  “My son was an idiot, and I think you are just as bad, but that’s my opinion,” Michael added. “You can go back to class now.”

  Dean rose from his chair and left the office without another word to either of the men.

  He passed by the receptionist’s desk along with the assistants. All of them turned away from him.

  Dean sighed and shook his head.

  No matter what they said about him. He knew his feelings, and that wouldn’t change no matter how much they whispered behind his back.

  As he walked back to his classroom, a plan was forming in his mind, and he would talk it over with Gabby later and see what her thoughts would be.

  He finally had the woman he loved in his life, and he would not let people who felt it was their place to judge to ruin the special bond they had.

  His thoughts turned to Gabby going out by herself, and he tried to push them away.

  He was certain that Randy White would have his arraignment today, but depending on his attorney he might waive arraignment. Regardless, Dean could only hope he didn’t try anything on Gabby before or after she made her statements.

  Dean checked his cell phone and didn’t see any new texts from her. He was worried but knew he had his job to think about.

  The hallway was quiet except for the weekday security guard doing his
patrol, and a student doing whatever it was they needed to do.

  Dean’s first class was well under way, and William was still covering for him.

  Dean walked past the atrium, but stopped and turned back to face it.

  He turned his head both ways, and the hallways deserted with some doors closed for the classes, or others open with the teachers doing their lectures.

  Something compelled him to head over to Jake’s tree. Stepping inside Dean ignored everything else and stopped in front of his friend’s plaque.

  Dean rehashed his own memories of that morning in the library with his best friend.

  He remembered Jake’s last words to him.

  “Margo’s been a very bad girl, I’ve talked to her.”

  Dean never thought about that sentence until now.

  He wondered if that sentence had a double meaning. There was no question that Jake was secretly seeing other girls behind his girlfriend Abby’s back.

  Had Margo been one of his conquests? Did it matter?

  Yes, it did. Gabby was trying to find out who raped her sister before she snapped.

  Dean lowered his head in thought. He struggled with his other memories from that day.

  “Margo’s been a very bad girl, I’ve talked to her.”

  Margo’s reputation around the school wasn’t exactly stellar like Gabby’s. She was known for partying and possibly sleeping around though Dean never saw her at any of the parties he attended.

  That sentence was nagging at him, but he needed to dismiss it for now. He needed to go back to class before William went crazy over his students.

  Checking his cell phone again, he knew there were no new text messages, but seeing nothing on the screen disappointed him.

  Dean headed back to class, and the obvious relief on William’s face showed when he walked through the door.

  ***

  Dean never heard from Gabby once the rest of the day.

  He tried to call her at lunch, but her cell phone kept going to voicemail, and his texts were going unanswered.

  His anxiety was in heightened state. It took every ounce of his willpower not to feign illness and leave to check on her.