Her Majesty's Wizard

by Christopher Stasheff

  But how was he going to put enough power into his verse? Maybe he'd better avoid specifics and stick to generalities. He had to indicate a change, a reshuffling, a turning ...

  The yin-yang symbol slashed vividly before his mind's eye, turning, endlessly turning.

  "Now the Wheel forever turns, Yin for Yang, until it burns.

  Silicon, now yield your place Unto carbon's rings of grace."

  He'd also better throw in some mythical references.

  "Turning still, however small, Cycling powers govern all. Thus Medusa's face, reflected From a mirror unexpected, Turned her body into stone, Letting Perseus gain a throne.

  "Make the cycle turn again; Perseus' loss, Medusa's gain. Let this granite turn to flesh, Caught within the Weavers' mesh, Where he webs both cord and twine, Human lives to Clotho's line."

  Now there was one thing he knew could be transmuted-and fast. He'd better throw it in for luck and power. He needed a whopper of a heavyweight spell.

  "Now to fill the needed sum, I invoke Plutonium. Fickle metal, lend your might; Life and flesh from stone excite."

  An explosion rocked the peak. Matt leaped back, arms wrapped around his head. The earth heaved once under him. He looked up to see huge shards of rock flying from the cliff and turned, running.

  Someone else was running-toward him. Long blonde hair waved in the moonlight. "Wizard! Reverse the spell!"

  Matt skidded to a halt, dread gripping his entrails.

  "Change him back!" Alisande screamed. "'Tis not Colmain!"

  There was an avalanche-roar as the giant shook free from the cliff, gloating and laughing. "Ballspear!" The creature broke away a ten-foot shaft of rock for a club. "Ballspear, poor believing man. Now pay for folly!" He turned, lumbering toward them in twenty-foot strides. The huge rock swung down.

  Matt yanked Alisande aside, diving. The great club smashed into the earth two feet away. They rolled back up and ran, with giant feet slamming the ground behind them.

  "Open earth, with hunger's wit; Let him fall into a pit!"

  The ground roared away from Ballspear's foot. The giant bellowed as he sprawled full-length into the huge pit. A roar of fury shook the earth, and a huge hand shot up over the edge, pulling until thirty feet of giant emerged, freeing him to the kneecaps. The ten-foot club slammed down at the end of a fifteen-foot arm.

  "Go!" Matt shouted, shoving Alisande away. She took off, outdistancing him in his armor. The great bludgeon slammed down a foot behind his heels. Ballspear climbed out of the pit.

  "Earth turn wet beneath. his shoes! Suck him down in mud and ooze!"

  Ballspear lurched off-balance as his right foot sank a fathom deep. He fell to his knees, roaring with fury, and the huge club slammed down. Matt leaped aside. The club gouged the ground beside him. He kept running.

  Alisande turned to wait for him, and he howled, "No! If you die, we all do!"

  Ballspear rumbled interest, pulled his feet out of the mire, and waddled toward Alisande, ignoring Matt.

  "Go!" Matt shouted furiously, and Alisande went.

  Ballspear pounded into a run, club on high.

  "Max!" Matt shouted. "Do something!"

  "What?" The arc dot hummed with interest, zipping out through a chink in his armor.

  It had to have orders! "Break his club!"

  "How?"

  "Weaken the molecular bonds!" Matt shrieked, turning to follow the princess.

  The dot of light streaked toward the giant. The huge club hurtled down at Alisande-and exploded like a grenade.

  Grenade! Matt made a frantic dive, caught Alisande right in the back of the knees, and leaped up to crouch over her, shielding her with his armor. Something clanged against his back, then another gong crashed through him, knocking out his breath. His elbows slammed into the earth, and Alisande cried out beneath him. He struggled back to. his knees and saw Ballspear coming towards him, face huge and hideous with anger, like a broken mountain.

  Matt staggered to his feet, yanking Alisande up with him, and ran. Great hands clapped together just behind him; something struck him a glancing blow, wobbling his stride for a few leaps.

  Then they slammed into a cliff face.

  They spun about, panting, plastering themselves back against the rock, and saw the great hands groping for them, with a leering, six-foot face behind.

  Then thunder blasted the night in a bellow of rage. "Turn, foul monster, and face your doom! Colmain comes!"

  Another giant strode from the northern mountain, forty feet tall, bearing a thirty-foot spear of rock in his hand., He had dark hair over a broad forehead, deep-set eyes, a curly beard, and was dressed in bearskins. His footsteps thundered as he advanced on Ballspear.

  "Something-I know not what-roused-me from slumber. I see 'twas timely, for now you die, vile Ballspear!"

  "Praise Heaven!" Alisande gasped. "But ... how?"

  "My spell!" Matt cried, insight electrifying him. "I didn't say which giant!" He'd thrown all his power into it and gotten overkill, or over-wake. But, weakened by distance, it had taken longer to act.

  Ballspear snarled and reached up to rip loose another club of rock. Whirling the bludgeon above his head, he charged Colmain, who ran to meet him. The club lashed out, but Colmain leaped aside, catching Ballspear's arm as it came down and pulling sharply. Ballspear stumbled, thrusting his club down at the ground for support, and whirled about to see Colmain's spear stabbing at his eyes. He swung the club up fast to knock the spear aside, whirled it around, and lashed out to smash into Colmain's breastbone. Colmain staggered, tripped, and fell. Ballspear brayed savage laughter, swinging the club above his head two-handed. Colmain stabbed upward with the spear.

  Ballspear saw it coming and leaped back, but the spearpoint laid open his side with a sound like a monstrous rasp against boilerplate. He shrieked and stepped back to press one hand against his ribs. Colmain scrambled to his feet, holding the spear across his body like a quarterstaff.

  Alisande yanked on Matt's arm, pointing. "Yonder!"

  Matt looked up and saw, atop an eastern cliff, a gaunt, robed figure silhouetted against the rising crescent moon.

  "Malingo!" Alisande cried. "He seeks to strengthen Ballspear and weaken Colmain. Quickly, Wizard, stop him!"

  Easier said than done! But Matt had to try.

  "The giant's club is newly forged; With forge's heat let shaft be gorged."

  Ballspear crowed vindictively as his club smashed forward. Then his voice became a shriek, and the club went flying over Colmain's head to slam into the ground and sizzle, sending up smoke from burning vegetation. Ballspear licked his hands and moaned-

  Matt looked up to see Malingo's hands snap tight as the sorcerer ended a spell. Colmain bellowed in agony, falling to his knees, dropping his spear to clutch at his ankles.

  "Hamstrung!" Alisande gasped. "Heal him, Wizard!"

  Matt tried:

  "Evil words their source descend on; Heal Colmain's Achilles tendon! Still all spells born out of hate! Let his legs bear up his weight!"

  Ballspear ran to his club and yanked it from the earth with a howl of triumph. He whirled-to find Colmain rising to his feet, grinning, his spear darting forward. Ballspear swore, and his club began whirling between them to form a flickering shield. Colmain snapped the spear down and drove it up at Ballspear's belly.

  Malingo's hands wove a continuous serpentine symbol.

  Even as the spear darted forward, it began to twist and writhe, and Colmain clutched a threshing python. He roared with disgust and threw the snake into Ballspear's face. The granite giant howled and leaped back, dropping his club to tear the looping python from his head.

  Colmain leaped forward to seize the club and hurl it a thousand feet away from them. Then he bellowed with joy and strode for Ballspear. The granite giant turned to run, and Colmain sprang after him.

  A mound of earth heaved up before him, extruding two huge, grasping hands that seized his ankles. Colmain's whole body jerked; he slammed into
the ground like a liner striking a reef. Ballspear whirled with a savage roar, aiming a kick at Colmain's head.

  Matt yelled:

  "He's going for the extra point! Throw his kneecap out of joint!"

  Ballspear screamed in pain as his knee folded under him. Colmain shoved himself upright, kicking the earthy hands away with a snarl, and strode toward Ballspear.

  Malingo, of course, was obligingly mending Matt's damage, but that gave Matt a slight edge in time. As Ballspear began to get his feet under him, Matt improvised a quick adaptation from Act V of Macbeth:

  "Let him begin to weary of the sun; Let all his spate of evils be undone! Make end to evil words. Blow wind, come wrack! Let titans fight sans magic at their back!"

  Ballspear rolled to his feet and ran to the southern cliff. There he wrenched loose a boulder the size of a truck and whirled about, slinging it straight at Colmain and following it at a lumbering run. Colmain caught the boulder like a medicine ball and whirled it around in a great circle, to drive it into Ballspear's belly. The granite giant folded over the rock. Colmain dropped the boulder and caught Ballspear before he could fall, slamming a haymaker to his jaw.

  On his cliff top, Malingo sawed the air frantically-to no effect. But he might regain his magic at any moment. Matt needed a way to make him cave in permanently.

  Cave in... "Max!"

  "Aye, Wizard." The Demon danced before him.

  "Concentrate gravity under the cliff!" Matt stabbed a finger at Malingo. "Bring him down!"

  "I go!" The Demon streaked off toward the sorcerer.

  Again Colmain's fist slammed into Ballspear's jaw, and the huge head snapped up with a crack like a cannon shot. Then Colmain lifted the other giant over his head and threw him hard against the cliff. The whole area heaved. Ballspear bounced once and lay still. Colmain bent over the figure, then stood up slowly, rubbing his hand on his fur-clad hip and nodding. "It is dead."

  Thunder cracked as a huge crevice split the cliff where Malingo stood. It shattered with a roar, crumbling and falling like solid rain. For a moment, a flailing silhouette poised in mid-air, before thinning, fading, and vanishing.

  "'Tis done, Wizard," the singing dot informed Matt.

  "Yeah-and well done, Max," he growled. "Confound the man! What reflexes! With absolutely no warning, he still projected himself away before he could hit bottom!"

  "What was the thing which fell and did not strike?" a huge voice rumbled.

  Matt turned to see the giant stalking toward them. "The sorcerer Malingo. The one who brought this all on us."

  "He has returned to his armies," Alisande stated with total conviction. "He will approach us now only in the fullness of force."

  Colmain peered down at her, his eyes widening. "I know that tone-in my bones, I feel it. The blood of Kaprin and now his heir!" Slowly, ponderously, he knelt, bowing his head. "You are the queen-and 'twas in your service I fought but now!"

  Alisande drew herself up with regal presence. "I thank you for it, worthy Colmain. May all my enemies fall as did he!"

  "They shall, do you but command it!" Colmain fixed her with burning eyes.

  "Out upon them, then!" Alisande seemed to grow in stature. "But call me not queen. I stand here uncrowned."

  "Yet still the rightful queen. My blood does clamor it!" the giant scowled. "Yet how is this? A queen uncrowned? Explain the way of it, for I cannot fight what I do not know."

  "'Tis thus." Alisande took a deep breath and launched into a freewheeling account of all that had happened. Matt listened as names and events flashed by. They were up to his entrance on the scene in a few minutes; after that, his awe grew. Had they really done all that in so few days?

  ... and early this even, as I lay awake, I saw the wizard rise," Alisande continued. "Mistrusting his intent, yet loathe to wound him by my presence, I followed at a distance. I saw him work a spell to wake a mountain. But as I came closer, I could feel 'twas not aright and called to him-too late. Yet what he did, he did undo--" She turned to Colmain. "-by waking you."

  "And aiding me against vile sorceries," the giant said. "Howbeit, much of this tale yet troubles me. The greater part of a year has passed, and the murder of a king is still unavenged? This must not be! Let us turn upon them and wipe them from the earth!"

  "Aye, let us that!" a cheery voice called.

  Sir Guy came riding up, with Sayeesa and Stegoman at either side, and Father Brunel behind.

  "Why stare you so to see us?" He grinned. "You were scarcely over-quiet." He looked up at Colmain, who was staring at him fixedly, and some quick sign seemed to pass between them.

  The knight swung down from his horse, to kneel before Alisande. "Hail, Highness and commander! The smell of warring magics lies heavy o'er this field. The time, then, draws nigh?"

  "It does," Alisande answered, staring at him.

  "Then do I kneel for commands, my Princess! In war, knights must act under orders. Command me, then; for in this coil, you are my mistress!"

  Matt saw Colmain nod with understanding. Of what? Something strange underlay all this...

  A long-drawn hail echoed from the eastern slope. They looked up to see the gleam of early moonlight on polished armor, with huge horses bearing riders.

  "What knights are these?" the giant rumbled.

  "The Order of Saint Moncaire," Alisande breathed, eyes glowing. "They have come to us in time!"

  "And behold!" Sayeesa pointed to the southeast pass, where a line of white coifs and bibs floated above ponies' backs. "Yonder come my sisters!"

  The nuns rode toward them in a long, straight line.

  "Heaven be thanked that you have come!" Alisande cried as both groups drew near. "Yet what sent you by evenlight?"

  The abbot swung down and knelt to her. "I cannot say, Highness-save that, as sunset neared, anxiety possessed me."

  "And me." The abbess dismounted slowly. "I felt a sense of urgency and knew we must hurry." She glanced at Matt, her expression speculative. Then she looked at Colmain, and awe filled her eyes. "What is this mountain in manlike form?"

  "The giant Colmain," the abbot answered, his face taking on a glow. "Nay, now we shall not die, but triumph!"

  "Will we?" Matt asked the princess. "Does your infallibility tell you that much?"

  "This battle cannot be avoided," she told him; but her gaze failed to meet his eyes. He felt prickles up his spine; she was sidestepping a full answer. Apparently, Divine Right wasn't working-or she was refusing to admit what it told her. And that could mean...

  She turned and pointed. "But see-more come!"

  A long file of men, some horsed, more on foot, came down the pass and across the valley. Pike heads glittered above them.

  "Our loyal barons," the abbot said with pride, "and their stouthearted men."

  Sir Guy had been staring at the nuns. "How is this, Mother?" he asked. "Your ladies have no armor over their habits."

  "Nay, they wear chain shirts beneath, and steel skullcaps." The abbess looked at Alisande and sighed. "But we have none for her, I fear."

  "There is an answer to that," Sir Guy said. He turned away toward the northern mountain, pursing his lips, and whistled an eerie, warbling tune that slipped around definite pitches.

  "What does the knight?" Sister Victrix asked. Alisande shook her head. Then her eyes widened, and she pointed.

  Silently, a huge war horse, armored and caparisoned for battle, came down from the mountain. On its saddle was a glinting package, securely bound. When it reached the knight, he stroked the great head, then cut loose the bundle and held up a steel helmet and a knee-length mail shirt.

  The princess took it and measured it against herself; its size matched hers. "A haubergion," she marveled. "How many years have gone since men wore such as this?"

  "Centuries," Sir Guy answered. "Yet 'twill protect you, as this war steed will serve you."

  Alisande wriggled into the haubergion with the delight of a teenager putting on her first formal.

 
Matt tore his gaze away and turned to Sir Guy, a question on his lips. Then he changed it for the one that had been bothering him for some time. "Who's writing the script for all this? Don't you find all the sudden coming together at just the right time too coincidental?"

  "Nay." The knight shook his head firmly. "'Tis ever thus. When the time comes that matters must be settled beyond doubt, then all who fight do gather together, though they must come from the ends of the earth. When that time arrives, both Good and Evil muster their strengths to meet."

  A neat arrangement, Matt decided. But he could wish his side had done a lot more recruiting and mustering.

  "Ho! Wizard!" a great bear-voice roared from the southern ridge.

  Matt whirled about to see a file of huge figures sliding and slipping down the slope. They came pounding up to him. They were hideous burlesques of humanity-pop-eyed, furry, barrel-muscled, and bandy-legged. There were a score of the ogres, led by Breaorgh.

  They ground to a halt ten feet from Matt, armed with five-foot war clubs and war axes with six-foot blades. Breaorgh dropped to one knee. "Hail, Lord Wizard. I have come, in keeping of my word. Keep ye now yours."

  "My thanks, Breaorgh." Matt swallowed heavily. "My thanks to all of you. Fight for us, and I'll do my best to change you back to normal. Understand, I'll try, but...

  "Aye. We know," a pig-faced ogre growled. "Yet had we known who companied ye, we'd have come without promises." He whirled to kneel before Colmain. "Hail, great one!"

  The other ogres also turned to kneel. The giant nodded, a smile coming to his lips. "Hail, small ones. Welcome to our force. And know that at bottom you are human."

  He turned to Sir Guy. "Four hundred knights, a -hundred nuns, fifteen hundred of barons and their men, and twenty ogres, each worth ten normal men. Two thousand and some. How many are we like to face?"

  "Five thousand, at least," the knight said promptly.

  "Then we shall need more men." Colmain turned to face the southern mountain, smiling, and his voice lifted into a shout. "Come out, all you who live by stone! You must fight for me now, or Evil will enfold these mountains, and all your treasures, aye, even your lives-will be wrested from you."