Black Reign
I was sitting across from Kaydoa, holding Kaylah. She was five weeks old, and I had right at a week before I had to turn myself in. Kaydoa had been a great support, since I’d given birth to our daughter. He was basically letting Trace and Took handle everything while he and Lil’ Hurt stayed at home with their babies. I was surprised at how much Lil’ Hurt had stepped up. He was so overprotective with his little boy that it was crazy.
Kaydoa was very attentive with Kaylah, I guess because he didn’t want to feel lost once I had to leave. I know that our parents, and my siblings had all vowed to step up and help, but he swore that they would only be necessary in extreme emergencies, claiming our families were ratchet as hell, and I couldn’t deny that. Still, I could see it in daddy’s demeanor. He was stressing.
Me…I was finally okay with everything. There was no more feeling sorry for myself. I’d done the crime, and now I had to do the time. I was just praying that my beautiful family would still be in tact when I came home.
But I won’t deny that it was gonna be hard as hell to leave my baby and Kaydoa behind. It was to the point that I couldn’t even sleep without him. I needed him…I needed them. I swear my heart beat just for them, and it pained me to witness him unhappy on my account. I needed him to know that I appreciated his dedication to me and Kaylah. And the love he provided made me feel like I could conquer the world.
So, I stood up, and switched over to him. I gently removed Kaylah from his arms, and placed her in her bassinet just a few feet away. I then made my way back over to him. “Daddy, what’s the problem?” I stood before him with my hands on my hips.
He solemnly waved his head. “It’s just hitting me that we just got a week left.”
“Aww,” I poked out my bottom lip. I really didn’t know what to say to express how I was feeling. And then I thought about this song by Betty Wright. It was one of my mama’s favorite, even though it was way before my time. It just always made me happy to hear it, kind of like Kaydoa made me feel. “Baby, you know what? I want you to listen to this song. Every time I hear it I think of you.”
He nodded, as I grabbed my iPod that was connected to a stereo system, and located the song. I played it for him, but I couldn’t help, but sing along. “All of my bad times are behind me. Nothing but good love here to remind me. Through all of my trials. You are my best friend. Heart was bleeding and then you just took me. I’m so glad I got a second chance to love.” Straddling him, I caressed his face, giving him a gentle smile. “You took me from pain. To joy. Unspeakable joy. God must’ve sent ya boy.”
I felt him wrapping his arms around my waist. His eyes glistened with tears, and I waved my head. “It’s gonna be alright, daddy. With you I know that I can do this. We gonna all be alright. You and Kaylah are gonna be straight, and I’ll be back before you know it. I got faith in you. I know that I should’ve had it from the beginning, but I can’t change that. I know that you’ll be the man for me and the daddy that Kaylah needs.”
He nodded, as he kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. Ever.
Kaydoa
“Mama love her Stinky Doddle,” Jasmine cooed, as she rained kisses all over Kaylah’s face. She was all calm and shit, and honestly the only person in the car who was in a good mood.
I kept on staring at her, as she played with our baby, as we drove to turn her in. A part of me was so conflicted that I actually strongly considered saying fuck it, and going on the run. Jasmine swore that running wasn’t healthy for Kaylah, and as much as I wanted to argue I knew that she was right. I just couldn’t believe that I was turning my heart into the people.
“You gonna be good for daddy?” Jasmine asked the baby. “Huh, pretty girl.”
“Why you so damn happy?” Monay snarled from the front seat. Lil’ Hurt was driving his new Rover and she was riding shotgun, as we sat in the backseat.
“Aw uh,” Jasmine’s jaw dropped. “Well damn, what did I do to you?”
“I mean, you acting like shit is all honky-dory and shit,” Monay carried on. “You been laughing and smiling all fuckin’ day.”
I shook my head, but it was the truth. We’d just left Pappadeaux’s where Jasmine had ate everybody else under the table, and had like three drinks. I think her ass was tipsy, and was cracking jokes the entire time. Her ass was so funny that I couldn’t help but laugh, even though a nigga was a tad in his feelings. Her spirit was high, and we was the ones having difficulty accepting her circumstances.
“Well, damn bitch. What you want me to do? Boohoo all over the place?” she giggled. “Ooh, I’m going to jail. Whaaa whaaa whaaa,” she play cried.
Monay’s shoulders trembled. We heard sniffling, and realized that her ass was actually crying. “That shit aint funny, girl!” she snapped. “You going away, man! What am I gonna do without my best friend? Who am I gonna talk to?” she sobbed.
“Aw, Nay, don’t cry,” Jasmine handed Kaylah to me, before reaching out, and hugging Monay from behind. She kissed her cheek. “Stop that before you make me cry,” her voice cracked. “I’m trying to be strong, man.”
“I know,” Monay sniffled. “I’m just gonna miss you. Nothing will be the same.”
“I won’t be gone forever, friend.”
I sat back silently observing Jasmine. All that glamourous shit like the weave and lashes were gone. She was sitting there with her natural hair pulled up into a ponytail. Honestly, until recently I hadn’t seen her real hair in years. I know when was kids her shit used to be short, but now it was a little past her shoulders and all healthy and shit. She was still pretty without all the extra, and was just adding to another reason a nigga was sick. We’d fucked for two days straight, but it still wasn’t enough. I didn’t even know how I was gonna go a day without seeing her face. This shit was gonna be hard, main.
When we pulled up downtown to the building she had to report to we all hopped out. One by one she hugged everybody.
“We gon hold it down for you, my nigga,” Lil’ Hurt squeezed her tight.
“Whatever,” Jasmine smiled, as she embraced Monay. Their bodies rocked side to side, as they hugged forever. “Okay,” Jasmine pulled away, and stepped to me.
Instead of me letting her wrap her arms around me, I gripped her thighs and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around me, as I hemmed her up against the truck, and tongued her down. She cried, as she gripped my head, and kissed me back with extreme intensity.
“I fuckin’ love you, you hear me?”
She nodded.
“Don’t you ever forget that.”
“I won’t,” she sniffed. “And I love you with every breath in my body.”
“I know,” I sighed, before kissing her again. We remained locked together, until Hurt tapped my shoulder.
“It’s time, main,” he reminded me.
Reluctantly, I placed Jasmine back on her feet.
Gradually, she pulled away from me. “I…I gotta go, yall.”
“Okay,” I barely released, as I watched her enter the lobby of the building. Her lawyer was already inside, as they took her into custody. I stood for a few long seconds, allowing it all to sink in. She was really gone, and I had to now pick up the pieces.
Chapter 20
One year later…
Black Reign
“Black Reign, can I please get a soup. Please,” Gwen, another inmate begged.
“Here, man,” I tossed her a pack of Ramen noodles. “That’s it, though. Don’t come back until next week, Gwen.”
“Okay, thank you,” Gwen nodded, before she skipped off.
“With her begging ass. Girl, her snaggle tooth ass wouldn’t be conning me out of my shit. I know you got it like that, but damn. These hoes will try to bleed you dry,” Ronda ranted, as she finished the last of my braids.
I shrugged, “I give what I want on my terms.” I let her know. I was far from a fool, but I didn’t mind helping people out from time to time. Shit, I had more money on m
y books than ninety-five percent of the prison population, and it wasn’t going to kill me to share here and there.
Everybody and their mama was constantly up my ass. I had quite a rep from the hood, and I had long commissary. Commissary was very necessary, and people would do anything for a snack or two. So, I was the best thing since sliced bread around those parts. I knew half of them were full of shit, but it didn’t bother me. I was doing my time so that I could go home.
That day was a Sunday, and I was preparing to see daddy. Kaydoa had been holding a bitch down, for real. Commissary was filled to capacity, I received letters galore, and I could call home until all my inmate minutes were gone. Shit, I used to have a cell phone, but they had cracked down on that, so I had to get rid of it.
I glanced at a picture next to my bunk. There was Kaydoa and Kaylah wearing ‘Free Black Reign’ tee shirts. When I first saw that I must’ve fell out laughing. They was screaming that shit everywhere they went, and all I could do was smile. I didn’t come up for parole, until next year so for the moment I at least had another year to go. Doing the time was easy for me. A bitch was eating good, and had even picked up a few pounds. The only thing that drove me crazy was being away from my family.
I hated only being able to see my man and baby for two hours a week. And if that shit wasn’t enough, it had almost been a month since the last time I’d seen Kaydoa. Whenever he couldn’t make it, he’d send Kaylah with my mama, sister, or Monay. I knew that he did a lot of traveling as the business expanded, but that didn’t stop me from being in my feelings. I wanted to see him and Kaylah. Damn everybody else. And I was gonna make sure that he knew that too, as soon as I saw him in visitation.
“Okay, there. You done,” Ronda’s mean yellow ass told me.
“Good,” I sprung to my feet. “My ass was getting numb, sitting on that floor.”
As if on cue, a guard stepped to my cell. “King, you got a visit.”
My heart fluttered, as I thought of seeing my love. “Alright. Be back later, Ronda,” I cheesed, as I followed the guard to the visiting area.
I spotted Kaydoa immediately, sitting at the table, although I was still in the hall, waiting to be let into the visitation room. His silky hair was waved up, making me seasick. He was rocking a Gucci collar shirt, while I couldn’t see the rest of his get-up from where I was standing. I was a little surprised that he didn’t have my baby with him. He never came to see me without her. Right then I knew that something wasn’t right.
I studied the look on his face, when I was allowed to stroll over to him. He was looking worried, until he noticed me. That’s when a huge Kool-aide smile invaded his handsome face.
“Hey, daddy,” I greeted him.
He quickly stood, and hugged me tightly. “What’s up, baby? I missed you,” he slightly kissed my neck, causing my clit to thump.
“I missed you too,” I pouted, pulling away from him, before the guards got to bitching. At the same time, we both sat down, sitting across from each other.
“How’s shit been going for you?” he questioned, as he grabbed my hands, gently caressing them as he always did.
I shrugged. “The same ole shit. Nothing new. So, what about you? What’s been going on, and where’s my baby?”
His smile dimmed a bit. “Man, just been out here chasing money, and shit. You know how hectic that can be.”
I nodded. “So, why didn’t you bring my baby?”
He licked his lips. “It’s something that I need to talk to you about.”
I slowly eased my hands out of his. “And what is that?”
“Damn,” he eyed my hands. “It’s like that? You pull your hands away from me and shit?”
My stomach felt queasy. “Kaydoa, tell me what the fuck is up.”
“There you go. From zero to one hundred.”
I scrounged. “It’s obviously something that you aint saying. Stop beating around the fuckin’ bush. Where is Kaylah? Tell me that.”
“Look, main,” he grabbed his forehead, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I came here to tell you something, and I didn’t want Kaylah here for that.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Okay, I’m waiting. What’s up?”
“Look, people was running their mouths, claiming that they was gonna come up here and tell you, and I wanted to make sure that I cleared the air first.”
My mouth became dry. “Tell me what?”
“It’s…it’s like this. A few people been seeing me wit somebody, and they felt like you should know.”
“Who?” I frowned, waiting on the blow. I had been dreading this shit. Kaydoa was a man, and I knew that he had needs, so I knew that it was just a matter of time, before he’d have that itch. Up until right then, I had never heard about him with any other girl, but I just knew that I would eventually. I just knew it.
“Okay, before I go any further, I just want you to know that I still love you. Aint no bitch walking this earth can change that. A nigga just be kickin’ it here and there, and people are reading too deep into shit, so I decided to put you in the know. But I’m still dedicated to this, and I want our family. That’s all that matters to me.”
“Spit it out, Kaydoa. Who is she?” I snarled.
“Okay,” he sighed. “I been hanging wit Farrah here and there.”
My heart sank down to my stomach. This muthafucka had lost his rabid ass mind. He wasn’t talking about some random bitch he was fucking to pass away time. He was screwing his ex, who he had a lot of history with. The same broad that still loved him, and keeping it real, had I not come along they would’ve probably never broken up. He didn’t think that I understood him and Farrah’s connection. I can’t take that from her. She really loves his ass, just as much as I do. And at one point he loved her too, and I wasn’t so sure if that love hadn’t returned. There was no such thing as hanging with her here and there. Nah, I wasn’t buying that shit for one second. I was hurt, and felt deeply betrayed.
“Wow,” I stressed. “So, I guess you made your decision.” I nodded.
“What?” he gulped.
“You know that it’s over between us. I’m not about to sit back, while you fuck with her out in the open.”
He frowned. “But I aint tryin’ to be wit her, baby. I admit that I was wrong for doing what I did, but I’m trying to make amends. I didn’t come here to see this shit go up in flames. I just wanted to be honest wit you.”
“And then what?” I got chocked up. “How the fuck can we proceed from here? You fucking with her changes everything for me.”
He waved his head. “But it don’t have to.”
“Yes it do,” I scowled. “I’m so done with your dog ass. I bet if you was locked up you wouldn’t think that its cool if I fuck around, with a ex no less. Nigga, you got me fucked up!”
“Lower your voice,” he whispered.
“No fuck that!” I shouted, truly not giving a fuck. “Don’t say shit else to me! I fuckin’ hate you! You dead to me! Bitch, you dead!” I stood up.
“Hey, King, calm down over there,” a male guard demanded.
“Nigga, fuck you! Don’t ever bring ya bitch ass back up here again!” I hocked up and spat on him. “I fuckin’ hate you!”
Two officers rushed me, and quickly placed my arms behind my back. “Calm down,” the female officer gritted, as she called herself handling me.
“Ay, yall aint gotta handle her like that,” Kaydoa growled.
“Stand back,” another white officer commanded.
“Fuck all you bitches!” I gritted, as they escorted me out of the room.
“Jasmine, calm down,” Kaydoa pleaded.
“Fuck you!!!” I blurted, as they dragged my ass away. I was so serious. From that point on it was fuck Kaydoa. Straight up.
Kaydoa
I drove home from the prison in a daze. I knew that Jasmine would spazz, but damn. I was so fuckin’ frustrated. Muthafuckas refused to mind their business. Everybody from Red Reign to Monay had been
threatening to tell Jasmine for months, but the last time I saw Nay she was tripping. I knew right then that if I didn’t tell Jasmine, then she definitely would.
For like five months I’d been dealing wit Farrah. It started off as a lil’ fuck thang. We’d been in contact for a while, and I actually hadn’t been fucking wit anybody. I knew that if I wanted to I could’ve fucked some broads outside of the hood without anybody ever knowing, but I just wasn’t up to the task. It had really become all about Kaylah and my money. I was making some major moves, and had recently taken a huge load off my shoulders. I was able to link up with a few crooked cops, looking to make a quick buck. I paid one officer fifty racks to go into the police’s evidence storage, and snatch up my old pistol used to kill Tuka. So, that was no longer a concern of mines, but me making that mistake had sort of become a blessing in disguise. It caused me to change my walk, and I moved carefully which had aided me in my climb to the top.
Keeping it real, my outlook on a lot of shit had changed. Bad bitches were plentiful, but I had to wonder why they were really looking at a nigga. I didn’t have time, trying to separate the real from the fake. Therefore, I had no interest in new bitches. I knew that Jasmine loved me regardless…but so did Farrah. Yeah, what me and Jasmine had was explosive, but look where that shit had us. I was taking care of a baby on my own, while she was locked up.
Farrah offered peace. She and Jasmine were like night and day, and sometimes a nigga needed that balance that Jasmine didn’t have. I had a child to take care of, and I didn’t want a woman that was right there in the hood, in the middle of the chaos. Farrah knew better, but Jasmine was addicted to the street shit. Did I now want to be wit Farrah over Jasmine? Nah. But I will admit that dealing wit Farrah was far less complicated, and sometimes after all I had to deal wit in the streets, simple looked so appealing to me. So, that’s how I ended up getting so comfortable wit Farrah again.
Taking care of Kaylah wasn’t the easiest job, but I loved my baby with everything in me, and I wanted to make sure that she was always in the best environment. So, that meant that half of my family, including my mama wasn’t qualified in my eyes to keep my baby. My T-Jones fought wit her nigga too much, Red Reign had a revolving door of niggas at her house, Ryah ran a hoe house, and Monay already had one baby to deal wit. Therefore, when Farrah came along it was like she was heaven sent. She took to Kaylah immediately, and my baby would just break out into giggles whenever she’d see her. I would sit back and watch their interactions for months, and it all seemed genuine. Kaylah would actually cry for Farrah when she’d leave. So, like two months ago, I began letting Farrah keep Kaylah when I had business to handle. It worked for us, but I had gotten so comfortable wit it that one day Ryah sees Farrah in my car wit Kaylah. Needless to say, she called me up, going off. I begged her not to say shit, and ended up throwing her a few racks to keep her mouth closed. But Monay was a completely different story. She cussed my ass out, and told me that I was completely disrespecting Jasmine. Still, she was minding her business, until she rolled up on us at Chuck E Cheese’s. I was letting my baby play around a little, but Nay didn’t see it that way.
Shooting Blindly in the Dark Page 22
